“LEO GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER”…IN CANNON VISION!
Leo got run over by a reindeer,
walkin’ off “the island” Christmas Eve.
The league says no to Papa Noel,
but as for Web, Borst and I, we believe.
He’d been poundin’ Presidentes,
and using steroids from BALCO.
He’d leveraged his skills with Vick Conte,
so he stumbled out the door into the snow.
The team found him flat out at home plate,
at the scene of the assault.
He had hoof prints on his “ball bag,”
no teen sex anymore and it’s his fault!
Leo got run over by a reindeer,
walkin’ off “the island” Christmas Eve.
Mike Clinton says no to Papa Noel,
but Vanasse, Quinn and Pallone all believe.
Now we’re all so proud of Barsa,
he’ll surely miss ‘ol number five.
At least he’s batting in this line-up,
‘cause a Dominican is not alive!
It’s just not baseball without Leo,
The team mourns in new navy blue.
Blanquitos cannot help but wonder:
“Will Checo show up past 10 a.m., too?”
(Please be on time!)
Leo got run over by a reindeer,
walkin’ off “the island” Christmas Eve.
Paul “Digger” Graves says no to Papa Noel,
but MP, Tom and Billy all believe.
The heat’s turned high upon the hot stove,
the team guns for “A” championship.
If drinking Barbaro sperm will help us,
Then sign me up for the first salty sip!
I've talked to other team’s Managers:
“You better watch out for yourselves.”
Leo’s sack crushed by Santa’s chargers,
and Nelson de la Rosa-looking elves.
Leo got run over by a reindeer,
walkin’ off “the island” Christmas Eve.
Dave Sacco says no to Papa Noel,
Mancer, McGann and Markie all believe.
(Sing it Cannons!)
Leo got run over by a reindeer,
walkin’ off “the island” Christmas Eve.
Sciano says no to Papa Noel,
but Drew, Gills, Lubes and J-Maul all believe.
FELIZ NAVIDAD CANNON NATION!
(*Free swinging Leo Dionicio has taken seven bases on balls in 252 regular and postseason plate appearances—one for every 36 times in the batter’s box—since joining the Cannons in 2005…by comparison, Tom Clark has thirteen in 70 plate appearance…I guess the old adage that Dominicans don’t get off the island by walking is true! Leo’s “teen date,” made famous by her mention in the ’07 and ’08 “Christmas carols” (see below) and her skin-tight jeans, is actually approaching twenty-two years of age. Oh, and the “Dominican Dreamboat” is not dead…Cannon Nation expects a big year from “El Gringo de Santo Domingo” on our way to the ’09 title…sorry Barsa!)
‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS REDUX…IN CANNON VISION!
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all ‘cross the state,
Not a creature was stirring, even Leo’s teen date.
The stirrups were hung by the hot stove with cheer,
In hopes Gills and Checo soon will be here.
The Cannons were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of championships danced in their heads.
And mamma in pink 9 shirt, and I in my cap,
Were dreaming of balls ripped to left-centers’ gap.
When within Cannon Yards there arose such a ruckus,
I sprung from my slumber, shouting “Hey Nemo, you f****d us!”
Away to the window, somewhat sluggish and uncertain,
I pulled open the blinds and threw back the curtain.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Like the moon on the breasts of Barsa’s newest ho.
When, what to my bushed batter’s eye should appear,
But a fat man in red and Borst’s foul catcher’s gear.
With a bucket o’ balls and a bag stuffed with sticks,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
Quicker than Maule his coursers they flew,
And he whistled and called them by names that I knew!
"Now, Pallone! Now, Weber! Now, Mancer and Lynchie!
On, Clarkie! On, Markie! On, Luby and Quinnie!
To the short right field porch! O’er the top of the wall!
Now make a play! Steal a base! Crush a fastball!"
As dust devils and gnats on warm August days fly,
Like a Balcerzak bomb hit mile-high in the sky.
So up to the house-top the reindeer they flew,
A sleigh full of equipment, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the shingles,
A cleat-like click clack, unmistakably Kringle’s.
Made my way toward the fireplace in search of the truth,
There St. Nicholas appeared like a yuletide Babe Ruth.
Dressed in Cannon duds from his head to his heels,
He obviously hadn’t missed those Jocktoberfest meals.
A bundle of baseball swag spilled from his sack,
How ‘bout when Drew gave that postseason homer a whack?
Deep dimples like base plugs! Eyes a game ball-bright hue!
His cheeks Cannon crimson, like McGann’s after two!
Lips pursed up like Web’s, post-Celio flub,
With a beard almost entirely white…like our club!
He carried himself with deportment and class,
Hope we get more than one inning pitched from Vanasse!
A handsome old coot with a little round pot,
Still, if he threw strikes I’d sign him on the spot!
He was “pleasantly plump,” a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, a mirror image of myself!
I stared in amazement, he’s a fan it would seem,
’Cause he pulled out an autographed pic of the team!
He tipped me a wink, the North Pole’s “Moonlight” Graham,
And filled all the stirrups, he had hit a grand slam!
“This season you’ll crush all your A Division foes,”
He gave a high five and up the chimney he rose!
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like a Patenaude-pitched missile.
Then I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
“Merry Christmas Cannon Nation, and to all a good-night!”
(*This is an updated version of the ’07 Christmas communiqué sent some 366 days ago…players no longer on the active roster have been removed/replaced and certain information has been revised to reflect the events of ’08…most notably Nemo knowingly altering the strike zone during the final inning of our 7-6 playoff loss to the Winsted Rifles…and then telling us about it in the parking lot post-game! “As an umpire you have to change your zone like that late in a game. If not, the other team isn’t going to have a chance to come back.” Unbelievable.)
Cannons—
HO! HO! HO! As the year comes to a close I always take a moment to reflect on what was and what will be for the Cannons. As always, hope springs eternal and I am excited about our prospects for the upcoming season. I look forward to once again taking the field with the Connecticut Cannons this coming spring and summer...it's cold out there now but the days are once again getting longer and we're just a few short months away from what truly is “the most wonderful time of the year.” The snow that fell this morning and over the past weekend blanketed the state—including Cannon Yards—in white. That purity represents an empty canvas, a clean slate for the team in the upcoming season. The question that begs to be answered: what memories will we place on the blank page? As a sign of sunny weather to come, the highly anticipated team informational packets will be at your doors before you know it (if there are any changes in your contact information please let me know). Four months from the end of the ’08 campaign, four months from Opening Day ’09. May this magical season bring you and yours all the joy and happiness of the holidays and may 2009 bring a CNMSBL title to Cannon Nation and the little Town of Newington. This is a time when we’re all asked to BELIEVE just a little bit and if we believe in ourselves in ’09 then our goals are achievable and the sky is the limit. Let’s CAPTURE THE DREAM. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. May you get everything on your wish list. Can you guess what I want? The same thing that tops my list each and every year (and no, it’s not the ’09 Cannons calendar featuring Leo…though this would make for a super stocking stuffer…as a matter of fact, the impressive bulge seen in “El Heartthrob de Hispaniola’s” briefs likely would be a balled up pair of socks!). CANNONS AT CHRISTMAS, CANNONS IN 2009 and CANNONS FOREVER!
MC #9 (a.k.a “Chubzy Wubzy”)
Cannons News and Notes (Christmas Edition): In # 2-related news: McGann celebrates his thirty-eighth birthday today (Gills turned thirty-four earlier this month while Checo turns thirty-five on New Year’s Eve…Dionicio and Celio have birthdays coming up in January)…the “Mayor of Manville” hopes to retire this moniker permanently as his dates with music teacher Melissa Lotstein, Celio’s co-worker at Sedgwick Middle School, have been a smashing success so far…the IF/OF describes himself as “smitten” (the pair spent some pre-b-day time on the town at Restaurant Bricco in West Hartford Center on Tuesday evening…“Bono” braved the elements, delivering Chengdu—Buddhist Delight was the entrée of choice—by foot to the lovely Ms. Lotstein on snowy Friday evening and made his signature turkey meatloaf for an at-home dinner last Tuesday night all after the two dined on Mexican at Monte Alban over the past weekend...paparazzi have been camped outside both residences in hopes of snapping a signature photo of Cannon Nation’s hottest new couple); Checo continues his rehab after off-season ACL surgery: “Things are going great and I’m planning on working hard to improve my pitching and hitting so I can be valuable to our team. I saw Tommy [Clark] pitch and he is great. Nice mechanics, throws hard with good control. I have a strong feeling that this year is going to be special for us. I’ll keep Cannon Nation updated with the injury status but since the doctor used a ligament from one of my hamstrings the recovery should be even faster. There isn’t an off-season for the Cannons.”…Clark and Checo played “fall ball” together and the humble reigning co-Most Valuable Cannon, co-Offensive Player of the Year (both shared with Maule), Rookie of the Year, Patenaude Pitching Award recipient and Bogiatzis Playoff Most Valuable Cannon said of the team’s newest recruit: “Juan may be better than me in all facets of the game. He’s really going to add something to our line-up and rotation. He’s the real deal and a huge sign for us;” post-Jocktoberfest Clark contacted Balcerzak and asked if the INS agent had any “spare time” on his hands…when Balcerzak replied in the affirmative Clark responded, “Good. Can you help me hang up all these awards I won?”…BB promises to challenge Clark for this highly coveted hardware in 2009, most notably the MVC and COPY (# 44 starts his “low carb diet sans booze” in the New Year); free agent Mike Mathews has declined the team’s lucrative 2009 contract offer: “The fantasy of [playing Cannons Baseball] is great, however I feel the commitment might be a burden (Mathews has two children, ages ten and almost-two, at home) and physically I’m not sure I can get to a place where I feel good/confident about performing at the level necessary to be successful for the club.” (there is no truth to the rumor that Celio’s “drink the Kool-Aid” Cannons Forever! Christmas card had anything to do with the decision…all items worn by the Celio children—along with other team merchandise—are available for order at Cannons World Headquarters); Gills and family found a home in quaint West Simsbury; Quinn has moved from East Hartford to “The City of Village Charm,” Manchester, former home of Cannon legend Jason Jackson…JJax is in his third year as sideline reporter for the Miami Heat; the 2009 Cannons informational packets will be mailed on January 3 from the Lasalle Road branch of the United States Post Office; the second 2009 CNMSBL winter meeting will be held on Wednesday, January 21 at the Italian Club in Avon, CT; recession be damned: Celio and League President Drew Clarke (owner of Clarke’s Sports) are scheduled to meet to discuss designs for the team’s new navy blue uniforms prior to this second meeting; the New Haven Cardinals and Suffield Irish, the B Division’s last two champions, are reportedly considering a move to the A Division in ’09, expanding the league from eight to ten teams; 2009’s third annual Step Up to the Plate Charity Baseball event will be held in Glastonbury, CT at Riverside Park over Memorial Day weekend, May 22-23 (Celio, Vanasse and Weber have already committed to raise at least $500 each to participate in the full twenty-four hours of the contest benefiting Cystic Fibrosis, Juvenile Diabetes and Prostate Cancer and others have expressed interest in competing in the entire event)…the team looks to top the eleven player total from last season’s all-nighter…the Glastonbury Little League’s hot dog cart will be available to the CNMSBL over the course of the charity event; the 2009 season marks the 20th Anniversary of the Connecticut North Men’s Senior Baseball League and the ninth season of Cannons Baseball (the Hall High School class of 1989, including Celio, Mancini, Markie, McDowell, McGann, Weber and honorary member Borst, also celebrates their China anniversary in ’09); Cannons reporters hope to add a weekly “Studs and Duds” section to the already popular “News and Notes” portion of the write-ups.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
‘TIS THE CNMSBL SEASON
’09 Officially Under Way As League Holds First of Five Winter Meetings
Avon, CT (AP)—The holiday season is fully upon Connecticut but on a chilly Wednesday evening the focus was on an entirely different season as team ambassadors from around the state met at the Italian Club in Avon for the first of five highly anticipated winter meetings leading inexorably toward spring and Opening Day 2009. Representatives from six of the eight A Division entries were on hand to celebrate the quickly approaching campaign CNMSBL style, with complimentary dining and drinks courtesy of the league’s executive cabinet (the Cannons were joined by delegations from Bristol, Eastern Connecticut, Glastonbury, Hartford and Winsted).
The most noteworthy news story to come out of the gathering was the possible expansion of the upper division from eight to ten teams as the 2007 B Division champion New Haven Cardinals and 2008 champion Suffield Irish explore any and all available options and contemplate a change of scenery. Manager Matt Celio made an impassioned plea to both ball clubs as A Division President Mike Clinton further attempts to bolster an already competitive division for the immediate and long-term future. “As you are well aware, the Cannons and Cards have a rich history dating back to our inaugural campaign in 2001,” Celio stated to the amassed members of the media. “From our storied playoff battles (the 2005 Cannons, then out of West Hartford, dramatically defeated New Haven by a final score of 10-9 to take the team’s only league title) to our heated regular season contests, this was and will again be a marquee match-up for the league to market. The Irish have been equally impressive since joining the league in 2006 and both would bring something special to play in the A. I know the improvements we’ve made this off-season make us the team to beat regardless of who we’re matched up against (in hot stove action Connecticut has added free agents Juan Checo and Mike Mathews to an already lethal line-up and anticipates full seasons from former MVC Tom Luby, P Billy Gills and C Mark Lynch…agents for Kevin McGann have been in almost constant contact with Cannons World Headquarters in recent months) but a bigger and better brand of baseball is going to make our championship run in the upcoming season even sweeter. I speak for all of the Cannons when I say I’d much prefer to win a talent-laden ten-team division. Bring it on!”
Other items on the docket included, as always, the 2009 version of the Step Up to the Plate Charity Baseball Marathon as well as roster requirements (up from thirteen to fifteen though Connecticut has been well above this total for the past several seasons) and an upcoming schedule of events (the next league meeting is on Wednesday, January 21 one day after the inauguration of President elect Barack Obama and Celio’s thirty-eighth birthday). On Memorial Day weekend 2008 eleven charitable Cannons “stepped up” and participated in the league’s second annual charity baseball event and raised nearly $7,500 as a team for Cystic Fibrosis, Juvenile Diabetes and Prostate Cancer research (almost $30,000 was raised league-wide). The 2009 marathon is scheduled for Memorial Day weekend (Friday, May 22 into Saturday, May 23) at Riverfront Park in Glastonbury and league officials have promised a more player-friendly affair with a wide variety of incentive-laden prizes. Cannons management hopes that the ’09 edition of the team can take this challenge to the next level. Celio stated: “It was a great time for some great causes. [Jack] Vanasse, [Mike] Weber and I played the full twenty-four hours last season and I think we’ve got some guys who will be gunning for that milestone. We play to be the best on Sundays but this weekend allows us to play for something bigger than league bragging rights. It’s time for us to hit another grand slam for some great charities (a truncated version of Celio’s write-up appeared in the Fall 2008 edition of HardBall: The Official Magazine of the Men’s Senior Baseball League).”
With just ten short shopping days until Christmas people are braving the crowds, picking up those last-minute items. Santa’s list is made and checked…twice. Winter and well-deserved vacations are in store for most and the citizens of Cannon Nation are no different. Soon, minute by minute, the days will grow longer and with each passing day we move closer to what truly is “the most wonderful time of the year.” The 2009 CNMSBL season is coming…
Winter Meeting News and Notes: The 2009 season marks the 20th Anniversary of the Connecticut North Men’s Senior Baseball League (the Bristol Metallurgists are the only original team remaining…the Cannons have been a part things for nine seasons); Celio recently attended the Sportscasters Ball at Rentschler Field with members of the Step Up committee; citizenship in Cannon Nation has increased by three over the past several months: Bill and Jill Balcerzak welcomed Lilah Jane on October 24; Tom and Virgie Clark greeted Xzavior Amilcar Clark on November 28; elder statesman Mike Patenaude and wife Kathy became first-time grandparents; Luby loves Mayne Street starring ESPN celebrity, friend and Avon resident Kenny Mayne; 3B Mike McGann spent Saturday evening with Melissa Lotstein, Celio’s Sedgwick cohort, and the two have plans for a second date later this week; Weber missed the first meeting because of his daughter Jessica’s school conference…Paul “Have You Ever Seen a Grown Man Naked?” Graves, Chris “Taxi” DiVita and Dave “Howie” Longhi agreed, “That’s overrated!”; Celio once again volunteered to start the season on the road at Winsted; Balcerzak, Celio, Clark, McGann and Weber spent a pre-Thanksgiving Tuesday at The Spigot in Hartford…an intoxicated Celio (a.k.a. “Pete Johnson”) was introduced to one of McGann’s many ex-girlfriends and upon shaking hands tickled her palm with his index finger…the not-so-young lady responded with, “What’s your problem Chubzy Wubzy?”…Leo Dionicio immediately e-mailed his plans to help Connecticut’s Manager keep his New Year’s Resolutions by becoming “workout partners”…Celio has been squeezing his sphincter ever since; former Cannon Craig Perrier was named Rookie of the Year for the Boston Braves of the Massachusetts Men’s Senior Baseball League; Cannons informational packets are expected to be mailed on Saturday, January 3, 2009 from West Hartford’s Lasalle Road branch of the United States Post Office.
’09 Officially Under Way As League Holds First of Five Winter Meetings
Avon, CT (AP)—The holiday season is fully upon Connecticut but on a chilly Wednesday evening the focus was on an entirely different season as team ambassadors from around the state met at the Italian Club in Avon for the first of five highly anticipated winter meetings leading inexorably toward spring and Opening Day 2009. Representatives from six of the eight A Division entries were on hand to celebrate the quickly approaching campaign CNMSBL style, with complimentary dining and drinks courtesy of the league’s executive cabinet (the Cannons were joined by delegations from Bristol, Eastern Connecticut, Glastonbury, Hartford and Winsted).
The most noteworthy news story to come out of the gathering was the possible expansion of the upper division from eight to ten teams as the 2007 B Division champion New Haven Cardinals and 2008 champion Suffield Irish explore any and all available options and contemplate a change of scenery. Manager Matt Celio made an impassioned plea to both ball clubs as A Division President Mike Clinton further attempts to bolster an already competitive division for the immediate and long-term future. “As you are well aware, the Cannons and Cards have a rich history dating back to our inaugural campaign in 2001,” Celio stated to the amassed members of the media. “From our storied playoff battles (the 2005 Cannons, then out of West Hartford, dramatically defeated New Haven by a final score of 10-9 to take the team’s only league title) to our heated regular season contests, this was and will again be a marquee match-up for the league to market. The Irish have been equally impressive since joining the league in 2006 and both would bring something special to play in the A. I know the improvements we’ve made this off-season make us the team to beat regardless of who we’re matched up against (in hot stove action Connecticut has added free agents Juan Checo and Mike Mathews to an already lethal line-up and anticipates full seasons from former MVC Tom Luby, P Billy Gills and C Mark Lynch…agents for Kevin McGann have been in almost constant contact with Cannons World Headquarters in recent months) but a bigger and better brand of baseball is going to make our championship run in the upcoming season even sweeter. I speak for all of the Cannons when I say I’d much prefer to win a talent-laden ten-team division. Bring it on!”
Other items on the docket included, as always, the 2009 version of the Step Up to the Plate Charity Baseball Marathon as well as roster requirements (up from thirteen to fifteen though Connecticut has been well above this total for the past several seasons) and an upcoming schedule of events (the next league meeting is on Wednesday, January 21 one day after the inauguration of President elect Barack Obama and Celio’s thirty-eighth birthday). On Memorial Day weekend 2008 eleven charitable Cannons “stepped up” and participated in the league’s second annual charity baseball event and raised nearly $7,500 as a team for Cystic Fibrosis, Juvenile Diabetes and Prostate Cancer research (almost $30,000 was raised league-wide). The 2009 marathon is scheduled for Memorial Day weekend (Friday, May 22 into Saturday, May 23) at Riverfront Park in Glastonbury and league officials have promised a more player-friendly affair with a wide variety of incentive-laden prizes. Cannons management hopes that the ’09 edition of the team can take this challenge to the next level. Celio stated: “It was a great time for some great causes. [Jack] Vanasse, [Mike] Weber and I played the full twenty-four hours last season and I think we’ve got some guys who will be gunning for that milestone. We play to be the best on Sundays but this weekend allows us to play for something bigger than league bragging rights. It’s time for us to hit another grand slam for some great charities (a truncated version of Celio’s write-up appeared in the Fall 2008 edition of HardBall: The Official Magazine of the Men’s Senior Baseball League).”
With just ten short shopping days until Christmas people are braving the crowds, picking up those last-minute items. Santa’s list is made and checked…twice. Winter and well-deserved vacations are in store for most and the citizens of Cannon Nation are no different. Soon, minute by minute, the days will grow longer and with each passing day we move closer to what truly is “the most wonderful time of the year.” The 2009 CNMSBL season is coming…
Winter Meeting News and Notes: The 2009 season marks the 20th Anniversary of the Connecticut North Men’s Senior Baseball League (the Bristol Metallurgists are the only original team remaining…the Cannons have been a part things for nine seasons); Celio recently attended the Sportscasters Ball at Rentschler Field with members of the Step Up committee; citizenship in Cannon Nation has increased by three over the past several months: Bill and Jill Balcerzak welcomed Lilah Jane on October 24; Tom and Virgie Clark greeted Xzavior Amilcar Clark on November 28; elder statesman Mike Patenaude and wife Kathy became first-time grandparents; Luby loves Mayne Street starring ESPN celebrity, friend and Avon resident Kenny Mayne; 3B Mike McGann spent Saturday evening with Melissa Lotstein, Celio’s Sedgwick cohort, and the two have plans for a second date later this week; Weber missed the first meeting because of his daughter Jessica’s school conference…Paul “Have You Ever Seen a Grown Man Naked?” Graves, Chris “Taxi” DiVita and Dave “Howie” Longhi agreed, “That’s overrated!”; Celio once again volunteered to start the season on the road at Winsted; Balcerzak, Celio, Clark, McGann and Weber spent a pre-Thanksgiving Tuesday at The Spigot in Hartford…an intoxicated Celio (a.k.a. “Pete Johnson”) was introduced to one of McGann’s many ex-girlfriends and upon shaking hands tickled her palm with his index finger…the not-so-young lady responded with, “What’s your problem Chubzy Wubzy?”…Leo Dionicio immediately e-mailed his plans to help Connecticut’s Manager keep his New Year’s Resolutions by becoming “workout partners”…Celio has been squeezing his sphincter ever since; former Cannon Craig Perrier was named Rookie of the Year for the Boston Braves of the Massachusetts Men’s Senior Baseball League; Cannons informational packets are expected to be mailed on Saturday, January 3, 2009 from West Hartford’s Lasalle Road branch of the United States Post Office.
Thursday, October 09, 2008
STUFFED JOCKS, LOADED CANNONS
Connecticut Celebrates 2008, Closes Out Campaign With Annual End-of-Season Extravaganza
Newington, CT (AP)—Saturday evening, October 4, saw the Connecticut Cannons 2008 CNMSBL season officially come to a close as Assistant Manager Mike Weber hosted Jocktoberfest, baseball’s true “fall classic,” at his stately Newington manor. These fun-filled festivities—Connecticut’s chance to eat, drink and be merry—were heavily attended by Cannons players (thirteen), family members and friends and were highlighted by hearty food, a hotly contested fourteen-category Cannons Jeopardy!, won in a repeat performance by ’07 champ Chris Barsa, and the hugely popular ’08 Cannons Awards. “Management always looks forward to the opportunity to show our players how much we appreciate their commitment to Cannons Baseball,” said Manager Matt Celio as he spoke with multitudinous media outlets camped outside Cannons Compound South. “Without question the Connecticut Cannons will be the team to beat in the A Division in 2009 but tonight we celebrate 2008 like only we can. Cannons tonight, Cannons tomorrow, Cannons in 2009. CANNONS FOREVER!”
The start of the ’09 campaign is just slightly over six months away as Connecticut looks to build upon its third-place CNMSBL A Division finish from the past postseason, when the Cannons once again came within a single run of the title tilt in a seventh inning slip-up, a devastating 7-6 defeat at the hands of the Rifles after leading 6-0 with two outs and two strikes in the seventh. Weber is quite fond of the quote, “If you’re not getting better, you’re getting worse” and this has become a mantra for management. A spectacular 2008 recruiting class, highlighted by Bill Balcerzak, Tom Clark, Adam Pallone and Jack Vanasse, made this the most successful season for the Cannons since joining the A Division. Baseball brainiacs know that championships won on the field in August get their start in off-season acquisitions. With a full returning roster—Tom Luby expects to be completely recovered from the back surgery that cost him the entire ’08 season while Kevin McGann’s representatives from the firm of Dewey, Cheatem and Howe have been in constant contact with the club in recent weeks—plus the additions of power-armed pitchers Juan Checo and Bill Gills to bolster an already vastly improved rotation makes the Cannons not only a sexy but a smart pick in many of the league’s postseason publications. And Connecticut may not be done yet. “Our goal is to add as many superstars as possible to the ever-expanding Cannons constellation and this season will be no different,” Celio stated on his weekly radio show Cannons Chat (Sundays at 5:00 p.m. on WPOP, ESPN Radio 1410 in the Hartford market). “Our core is unparalleled anywhere in the league and we don’t need to do much to be the dominant team in A Division play in 2009 and for the foreseeable future. Losing the way we did to Winsted makes us a hungry and dangerous team for the upcoming campaign. We will realize our full potential and power and we’re all ready to exact revenge from the Rifles and our other CNMSBL opponents. Consider the rest of the league put on notice.”
Another Jocktoberfest has come and gone. The daylight hours are getting shorter and shorter as we spiral slowly toward the bottom of the year and hardball hibernation. Yet as always, hope springs eternal and the Connecticut Cannons and the fanatical citizens of Cannon Nation grow increasingly excited about the prospects of the team’s ninth CNMSBL season. Nine: a significant number in the annals of baseball history. The number of positions and players on a diamond defensively from Mudville to the Yards, the “Splendid Splinter,” Enos Slaughter, 61 for Roger in ’61 (a Hall of Fame homer-fest, besting “The Babe” while while Mantle nipped at his heels), Reggie with the A’s, Minnie Miñoso, Mazeroski, Roy Hobbs, Cannons victories this season and likely the number of ladies Leo Dionicio will bring to next season’s Jocktoberfest (surprisingly the “Dominican Dreamboat” only brought dos dates in ’08). Add 99.99% reliability that the Connecticut Cannons will be the A Division regular and postseason champions in ’09.
Connecticut Celebrates 2008, Closes Out Campaign With Annual End-of-Season Extravaganza
Newington, CT (AP)—Saturday evening, October 4, saw the Connecticut Cannons 2008 CNMSBL season officially come to a close as Assistant Manager Mike Weber hosted Jocktoberfest, baseball’s true “fall classic,” at his stately Newington manor. These fun-filled festivities—Connecticut’s chance to eat, drink and be merry—were heavily attended by Cannons players (thirteen), family members and friends and were highlighted by hearty food, a hotly contested fourteen-category Cannons Jeopardy!, won in a repeat performance by ’07 champ Chris Barsa, and the hugely popular ’08 Cannons Awards. “Management always looks forward to the opportunity to show our players how much we appreciate their commitment to Cannons Baseball,” said Manager Matt Celio as he spoke with multitudinous media outlets camped outside Cannons Compound South. “Without question the Connecticut Cannons will be the team to beat in the A Division in 2009 but tonight we celebrate 2008 like only we can. Cannons tonight, Cannons tomorrow, Cannons in 2009. CANNONS FOREVER!”
The start of the ’09 campaign is just slightly over six months away as Connecticut looks to build upon its third-place CNMSBL A Division finish from the past postseason, when the Cannons once again came within a single run of the title tilt in a seventh inning slip-up, a devastating 7-6 defeat at the hands of the Rifles after leading 6-0 with two outs and two strikes in the seventh. Weber is quite fond of the quote, “If you’re not getting better, you’re getting worse” and this has become a mantra for management. A spectacular 2008 recruiting class, highlighted by Bill Balcerzak, Tom Clark, Adam Pallone and Jack Vanasse, made this the most successful season for the Cannons since joining the A Division. Baseball brainiacs know that championships won on the field in August get their start in off-season acquisitions. With a full returning roster—Tom Luby expects to be completely recovered from the back surgery that cost him the entire ’08 season while Kevin McGann’s representatives from the firm of Dewey, Cheatem and Howe have been in constant contact with the club in recent weeks—plus the additions of power-armed pitchers Juan Checo and Bill Gills to bolster an already vastly improved rotation makes the Cannons not only a sexy but a smart pick in many of the league’s postseason publications. And Connecticut may not be done yet. “Our goal is to add as many superstars as possible to the ever-expanding Cannons constellation and this season will be no different,” Celio stated on his weekly radio show Cannons Chat (Sundays at 5:00 p.m. on WPOP, ESPN Radio 1410 in the Hartford market). “Our core is unparalleled anywhere in the league and we don’t need to do much to be the dominant team in A Division play in 2009 and for the foreseeable future. Losing the way we did to Winsted makes us a hungry and dangerous team for the upcoming campaign. We will realize our full potential and power and we’re all ready to exact revenge from the Rifles and our other CNMSBL opponents. Consider the rest of the league put on notice.”
Another Jocktoberfest has come and gone. The daylight hours are getting shorter and shorter as we spiral slowly toward the bottom of the year and hardball hibernation. Yet as always, hope springs eternal and the Connecticut Cannons and the fanatical citizens of Cannon Nation grow increasingly excited about the prospects of the team’s ninth CNMSBL season. Nine: a significant number in the annals of baseball history. The number of positions and players on a diamond defensively from Mudville to the Yards, the “Splendid Splinter,” Enos Slaughter, 61 for Roger in ’61 (a Hall of Fame homer-fest, besting “The Babe” while while Mantle nipped at his heels), Reggie with the A’s, Minnie Miñoso, Mazeroski, Roy Hobbs, Cannons victories this season and likely the number of ladies Leo Dionicio will bring to next season’s Jocktoberfest (surprisingly the “Dominican Dreamboat” only brought dos dates in ’08). Add 99.99% reliability that the Connecticut Cannons will be the A Division regular and postseason champions in ’09.
Cannons Jocktoberfest News and Notes: Clark finished the evening with five awards, tied for the all-time single season total (Jason Maule, 2006)…he was joined by multiple winners Maule (3), Mike McGann (2) and Mike Patenaude (2); Clark became the fourth Cannons pitcher in five seasons to toss his way to the Patenaude Award (Patenaude: 2004 and 2007, Mike Calabrese: 2005, Ed Poland: 2006); Clark and Maule shared the Offensive Player of the Year and Most Valuable Cannon Awards; Clark, McDowell and Patenaude were co-playoff Most Valuable Cannons (award winners are named by members of management); Balcerzak and M. McGann split the Golden Spikes vote, presented to the players who exhibit exceptional athletic ability, commitment to the club and superior sportsmanship on the field while representing the Cannons (both were participants in the ’08 Step Up to the Plate Charity Baseball Marathon and were the only Cannons with extra base hits in the event); M. McGann took home Most Improved Cannon honors for the third time in five seasons: “It’s a good thing I sucked early in my career. I don’t know how many more times I can pull this off,” joked the “Mayor of Manville”; Patenaude won the highly-coveted Jason T. Jackson Lifetime Achievement Award, joining Andy Borst (’04), Celio (’05), Weber (’06) and Luby (’07) as recipients honored (this award has a ten-year grace period for past winners); Barsa earned a 2009 Opening Day start by becoming a back-to-back Cannons Jeopardy! champion…Balcerzak was the runner-up…K. McGann served as scorekeeper; with his ’08 Teammate of the Year/Service Award, Celio remained the Cannons’ lifetime leader in awards received (13 in five seasons of plaque presentations) though he will almost certainly be surpassed by Maule (12 in three seasons with the team) following the ’09 campaign; other lifetime multiple winners include Luby, McGann and Patenaude (6 apiece), Poland and Weber (5 each), Calabrese, Dionicio, Drew McDowell and K. McGann (3 apiece) and Tom Bogiatzis and Borst (2 each)...“Father of Cannons Baseball” Borst was named the ’08 Andrew H. Borst Cannons Comeback Player of the Year...following his retirement prior to the ’07 season the “Argyle Projectyle” had this to say about a possible return to the team: “The best chance I have to win the Comeback Player of the Year Award is to step down and be brought back though divine intervention. What, [Jesus, Buddha, Martin Luther King, Jr., Mother Teresa and any of those other enlightened beings] are going to send me back and still make me an automatic out? No way, dude!”; Jake “Mr. Cool” McDowell was named 2008 Fan of the Year, the fifth different recipient since 2004; the McDowell’s Sports Complex is under construction and the “Hick From Red Stick” hopes to have it operational by early ’09: “We’ll work hard and be ready for a HUGE 2009 for the team!”; a “system cleansing” Clark told teammates he had not eaten anything but grapes since Tuesday, September 30: the reigning regular and postseason MVC said, “I tried to take a dump today and nothing came out. I feel like a chick.”…Weber claims to have thought a cleansing included eating and drinking as much as you want: “That’s what I do anyway.”; the Cannons tapped their first keg together…the beer, Michelob; Gills, because he didn’t play in ’08, maintained his “rookie” status for the ’09 campaign; former Cannon Troy Barber planned to stop by but got lost on his way to Newington; Gills, Luby, Mark Lynch, Markie, John Mancini, Maule, McDowell and Pallone were the ’08 roster players not present at the End-of-Season Extravaganza. 2009: The Year of the Cannon!
2008 CONNECTICUT CANNONS REGULAR AND POSTSEASON AWARDS
2008 Ann Luby
Cannons Fan of the Year
Jake McDowell
2008 Cannons Rookie of the Year
Tom Clark
2008 Andrew H. Borst
Cannons Comeback Player of the Year
Andy Borst
2008 Most Improved Cannon Award
Mike McGann
2008 Cannons Offensive Player of the Year
Tom Clark
2008 Cannons Offensive Player of the Year
Jason Maule
2008 Kevin J. McGann
Cannons Defensive Player of the Year
Jason Maule
2008 Michael K. Patenaude
Cannons Pitching Award
Tom Clark
2008 Cannons Golden Spikes Award
Bill Balcerzak
2008 Cannons Golden Spikes Award
Mike McGann
2008 Matthew D. Celio/Michael F. Weber
Cannons Teammate of the Year and Service Award
Matt Celio
2008 Jason T. Jackson
Cannons Lifetime Achievement Award
Mike Patenaude
2008 Tom “Mr. August” Bogiatzis
Most Valuable Cannon Award—Playoffs
Tom Clark
2008 Tom “Mr. August” Bogiatzis
Most Valuable Cannon Award—Playoffs
Drew McDowell
2008 Tom “Mr. August” Bogiatzis
Most Valuable Cannon Award—Playoffs
Mike Patenaude
2008 Most Valuable Cannon Award
Tom Clark
2008 Most Valuable Cannon Award
Jason Maule
2008 Cannons Jeopardy, 1st Place
Cannon Nation Salutes You!
2008 Ann Luby
Cannons Fan of the Year
Jake McDowell
2008 Cannons Rookie of the Year
Tom Clark
2008 Andrew H. Borst
Cannons Comeback Player of the Year
Andy Borst
2008 Most Improved Cannon Award
Mike McGann
2008 Cannons Offensive Player of the Year
Tom Clark
2008 Cannons Offensive Player of the Year
Jason Maule
2008 Kevin J. McGann
Cannons Defensive Player of the Year
Jason Maule
2008 Michael K. Patenaude
Cannons Pitching Award
Tom Clark
2008 Cannons Golden Spikes Award
Bill Balcerzak
2008 Cannons Golden Spikes Award
Mike McGann
2008 Matthew D. Celio/Michael F. Weber
Cannons Teammate of the Year and Service Award
Matt Celio
2008 Jason T. Jackson
Cannons Lifetime Achievement Award
Mike Patenaude
2008 Tom “Mr. August” Bogiatzis
Most Valuable Cannon Award—Playoffs
Tom Clark
2008 Tom “Mr. August” Bogiatzis
Most Valuable Cannon Award—Playoffs
Drew McDowell
2008 Tom “Mr. August” Bogiatzis
Most Valuable Cannon Award—Playoffs
Mike Patenaude
2008 Most Valuable Cannon Award
Tom Clark
2008 Most Valuable Cannon Award
Jason Maule
2008 Cannons Jeopardy, 1st Place
Cannon Nation Salutes You!
CANNONS FOREVER!
Chris Barsa
Chris Barsa
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
THAT WHICH DOESN’T KILL US…
Cannons Collapse in Seventh Inning of CNMSBL Semis, Left Wondering “What if…?”
Manchester, CT (AP)—Nineteenth-century German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche is credited with the quote, “That which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” Neitzsche’s notion of eternal recurrence expounded in The Gay Science (a Michael McGann must-read) and Thus Spoke Zarathustra is the belief that the life we lead does not simply end at our deaths but will repeat over and over again for all eternity, each moment recurring in exactly the same way without end. Those who embrace and are encouraged by this idea love and value life and the implicit importance of living in such a way that one could wish for constant repetition, while those who retreat from it in trepidation have not yet learned to do so. All things happen for a reason—God’s will? Fate? Cosmic tumblers clicking into place?—and if one learns and draws strength from these occurrences, both positive and negative, then one can move forward from life’s ultimate successes and failures rather than being simply satisfied or stuck in a state of constant sorrow. Sometimes things happen that seem pointless and painful but in reflection it is understood that without overcoming obstacles an individual, or in this case a team, may never have realized its full potential or will power. Initially it is hard to take anything favorable away from the Connecticut Cannons crushing 7-6 defeat at the hands of the Winsted Rifles on Saturday at Manchester Community College. The CNMSBL A Division finals and a date with destiny in the form of the much-hated Marlborough Athletics was just one strike away but all that changed with a single Billy Dee Williams swing of the bat in the home half of the last inning. The hardball heaven experienced by the seventh seed in opening round action had become a horrific hell in just thirty pitches and the dream of a Championship had to be put on hold for another year. But the question begs to be asked: was the 2008 season all for naught? On the surface it may appear so but once said surface is scratched it becomes obvious that the golden opportunity missed will undoubtedly lead to many more opportunities in the future. Manager Matt Celio’s words from Cannons World Headquarters on Saturday evening reflected this forward thinking: “Turn the hot stove on high because the 2009 season starts today. We'll be better next year from the get-go, that’s a promise. Every ’08 Cannons roster invitee is under contact through the 2010 season so we’ll all be back to exact revenge from the Rifles and our other opponents. [Tom] Luby and [Bill] Gills are excellent in-house additions and all we really need to win from April through August next season, bolstering our roster and completing the Cannons vision of a championship-caliber contender. This is by far the most talent we’ve ever assembled and we had many if not all of the pieces necessary to win today but another year of seasoning, plus plenty of time at [Drew] McDowell's training complex, will make us instant favorites in the CNMSBL A Division tomorrow and for the foreseeable future. The rest of the league is on notice.” The Connecticut Cannons are not corpses so it can indeed be assumed that the team will rebound and redouble its efforts in eight months, for the entire ’09 campaign and the hall of fame hereafter.
Despite a disappointing performance against the A’s last Sunday (a 7-0 loss), Connecticut was just one of three teams still in contention for the coveted Clinton Trophy and a first-ever CNMSBL A Division crown for the Town of Newington entering play on Saturday. Through perseverance—as it had done in 2006—the cerise-clad club proved to CNMSBL prognosticators and pundits that no playoff picture is complete without the primary color-crimson of the Cannons. The team, poised on the precipice of something truly monumental, played with according passion against its divisional rival from Winsted. Connecticut scored three first-frame runs against Rifles ace Danny “Taxi” DiVita as McDowell singled, Bill Balcerzak worked a walk and Tom Clark doubled home both runners (Clark would later score on a dropped pop to center off the bat of catcher Kevin Quinn). Ageless left-hander Mike Patenaude, pitching for the fourth time in two weekends and adamant that “offense is going to win this thing,” took his customary perch on the mound baffling Winsted’s batters through much of the early going, allowing his first hit of the day, a third-inning double by ninth batter Cogsworth Lussier, while facing just eleven Rifles through three complete. After stranding a runner ninety feet from home in the previous inning, the Cannons offense was at it again against DiVita in the fourth as Quinn led off with a double down the left field line, Mike Weber squeezed a seeing-eye single between third and short and Mike “Liut” McGann, so named for his butterfly saves on balls to the hot corner (“I like being on my knees,” quipped the third baseman), came up big with a run-scoring single to left. After a Jason Maule walk with one out loaded the bases Weber wound up at home because of a passed ball that bounced by backstop William DeVanney but Connecticut couldn’t push any additional runs across as McDowell and Balcerzak were retired to end the threat. Patenaude hit a hiccup in the home half of the fourth as Paul “Have You Ever Seen a Grown Man Naked?” Graves doubled and Dane “Employee of the Month” Cooke was issued a base on balls but a ground out to Balcerzak at short ended the threat and the Cannons escaped with the 5-0 lead still intact. In the seventh, Clark scorched a one-out single and Leo “El Gringo de Santo Domingo” Dionicio followed with a base hit to put runners at the corners. Quinn cracked a sacrifice fly to center—that at the time seemed barely-needed insurance—scoring Clark with the sixth Cannons run. Patenaude, nearly perfect through six, walked an irritating Graves on four flips to start the seventh and Cooke chipped in with a single to move a runner into scoring position (only the third Rifle to reach second safely on the afternoon). As Winsted willfully worked umpire Nemo Disney, an infield pop-up to Don Armatino allowed Connecticut followers to collectively exhale its bated breath but Howie Longhi’s subsequent single loaded the bases putting pressure back on the Cannons pitcher. Patenaude responded by striking out pinch hitter Garrett Leifert on three pitches to put Connecticut one out away from its first A Division Finals appearance. But the baseball gods had other intentions as Al Boucino followed with a two-strike knock past a diving McGann placing Winsted on the board at 6-1. DeVanney dinked a ball up the middle for a RBI and DiVita dropped a one-and-two dying quail into right field out of the reach of Andy Borst to score two more as Graves chided his club: “Anybody who makes the last out is gonna get beat like a red-headed stepchild” (DiVita’s foul ball deep down the right field line couldn’t be corralled by McDowell continuing the craziness). Williams, two for his last twelve against Cannons pitchers yet apparently averse to an a**-kicking, stepped into the batters box against Patenaude (6.2 IP, 8 H, 7 ER, 2 K, 2 BB) and deposited a one-strike offering into the right field bleachers for a three-run blast, a nine mile no-doubter, that capped the improbable comeback and catapulted the Rifles into the Championship while conversely causing coronary episodes throughout a crushed Cannon Nation. All the promise of the previous six and two-thirds innings disappeared with one potent poke. Devastating, mind-numbing and shocking were just some of the words uttered by players after season-stopping reality started to settle in. Make no mistake about it: Winsted earned this victory, Connecticut did not gift wrap it. Granted, a game and a golden opportunity were lost but the enduring belief that the Connecticut Cannons will bounce back shows the will to win that exists in each and every Cannons player.
With Nietzsche’s teachings of eternal recurrence as a guide, the words CANNONS FOREVER! have never been more meaningful: the team’s play is perpetual, something far more significant than a single postseason Saturday. Mental scars may be left and will without question take time to heal but they add character and the Cannons will undoubtedly emerge stronger for having played and lost this game. Balcerzak buys into this philosophy whole-heartedly: “Regarding the future of the team, we aren’t going to forget his game and we are going to come back stronger next year. In the grand scheme of things how we respond to this adversity is really all that matters. We expected to win against Winsted on opening weekend, after the Fourth of July break, in Game Two of the Playoffs, in the semifinal and every time we will play them down the road we’ll expect the same. The only thing that has changed here is our resolve as a team. All things seem difficult before they get easy. All past failures are over the second you cut them loose.” Death is the only thing that takes away from one more chance and the Connecticut Cannons are alive and kicking. The collective pulse pounds and when the heart beats with a purpose, no task is ever too difficult, no goal too great. 2009 regular and postseason success will fulfill the philosophical ideals behind Cannons Baseball: be the most talented, closest knit, best run team in the CNMSBL then quickly and ceaselessly you’ll be kickin’ “A” and takin’ names. See you next season!
Cannons News and Notes: Connecticut batted .261 as a team in postseason play, down from .295 in the regular season (opponents batted .273 and .270 respectively); McDowell led or tied for tops on the team in eight of thirteen offensive categories during the ’08 playoffs: at-bats (14), hits (6), home runs (1, with Maule), runs (3, with Clark and Maule), runs batted in (3, with Clark), batting average (.429), slugging percentage (.714) and on-base + slugging percentage (1.143); Maule is the team’s all-time leader in playoff batting average (.606), on-base percentage (.667), slugging percentage (.909) and on-base + slugging percentage (1.576)…he has not struck out in thirty-nine postseason plate appearances with the Cannons; Dionicio is the team’s all-time A Division leader in playoff at-bats (37); Patenaude has pitched in exactly half of Connecticut’s postseason games since 2004 (twelve of twenty-four) accounting for almost exactly half of the innings pitched (57.1 of 115)…he has tossed twenty-five strike outs and allowed twenty-five free passes in ten career playoff decisions (5-5) during that same span; since the team joined the A Division in ’06, Clark is the postseason leader in ERA (4.61); Cannons’ pitchers have allowed opponents to hit .331 in ten A Division playoff games while the team’s batters posted a .311 average over that same frame; Connecticut’s Weber was quoted on Sunday as saying, “The thought of new uniforms is one thing that will help me get past this game and through the off-season.”…the team is currently considering any and all color schemes though navy seems to be the front runner (McGann still prefers hunter green...or pink); Clark wondered why the Cannons’ Assistant Manager has missed so many team get-togethers recently due to an unspecified “illness:” “What's Web got, West Nile virus?”; C Steve Markie was in attendance for the first several inning of the Winsted game (perhaps the “Good Luck Steve” should have stuck around); Team Canada (sponsored by Labatt’s) featuring Balcerzak and McGann downed Team U.S.A.’s Clark and Celio two games to one in Thursday’s darts rematch at The Spigot (Celio spent much of the losing effort on the phone with his “Pineapple Express” buddy Borst discussing Saturday’s defensive alignments)...Balcerzak wore his Incredible Hulk t-shirt (circa 1979) earning BB the new nickname “Bill Bixby”; Disney said of his shrinking seventh inning strike zone: “As an umpire you have to change your zone like that late in a game. If not, the other team isn’t going to have a chance to come back.”…the league is accepting applications for umpiring positions immediately; Dionicio’s buddy Nelson de la Rosa stopped by M.C.C. on Saturday to keep score for the Rifles…“The Dominican Dreamboat” is feverishly working the waiver wires to sign P Juan Checo: “I know how much Coach [Celio] loves Dominicans and this new recruit will be a great addition to the Cannons. I’m tired to be the only Dominican on the team, probably in the whole league. But with Juan I can talk trash about all the blanquitos right on [their] faces and [they] will never know!”; Patenaude is once again exploring the possibility of penning powerhouse catcher John Hepple to a lucrative multi-year contract this off-season; Celio, McGann and former Cannon Craig Perrier (now the batting champion of the Boston Braves at .433) spent Monday evening drowning their sorrows at Plan B and the Wood-n-Tap; regular season Champion Marlborough dropped the opener on Saturday afternoon (6-4 in eight innings) then demolished Winsted—struggling through their seventh game in nine days—on Sunday (15-1) to capture its first CNMSBL A Division postseason crown; Cannons management is looking at two dates (6:30 p.m. Saturday, September 20 or Saturday September 27) for the annual End-of-Year Extravaganza at The Webers in Newington…dinner, drinks, Cannons Jeopardy! and the Cannons Awards are all on the agenda…clear your calendars for the fun-filled festivities! CANNONS FOREVER!
Cannons Collapse in Seventh Inning of CNMSBL Semis, Left Wondering “What if…?”
Manchester, CT (AP)—Nineteenth-century German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche is credited with the quote, “That which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” Neitzsche’s notion of eternal recurrence expounded in The Gay Science (a Michael McGann must-read) and Thus Spoke Zarathustra is the belief that the life we lead does not simply end at our deaths but will repeat over and over again for all eternity, each moment recurring in exactly the same way without end. Those who embrace and are encouraged by this idea love and value life and the implicit importance of living in such a way that one could wish for constant repetition, while those who retreat from it in trepidation have not yet learned to do so. All things happen for a reason—God’s will? Fate? Cosmic tumblers clicking into place?—and if one learns and draws strength from these occurrences, both positive and negative, then one can move forward from life’s ultimate successes and failures rather than being simply satisfied or stuck in a state of constant sorrow. Sometimes things happen that seem pointless and painful but in reflection it is understood that without overcoming obstacles an individual, or in this case a team, may never have realized its full potential or will power. Initially it is hard to take anything favorable away from the Connecticut Cannons crushing 7-6 defeat at the hands of the Winsted Rifles on Saturday at Manchester Community College. The CNMSBL A Division finals and a date with destiny in the form of the much-hated Marlborough Athletics was just one strike away but all that changed with a single Billy Dee Williams swing of the bat in the home half of the last inning. The hardball heaven experienced by the seventh seed in opening round action had become a horrific hell in just thirty pitches and the dream of a Championship had to be put on hold for another year. But the question begs to be asked: was the 2008 season all for naught? On the surface it may appear so but once said surface is scratched it becomes obvious that the golden opportunity missed will undoubtedly lead to many more opportunities in the future. Manager Matt Celio’s words from Cannons World Headquarters on Saturday evening reflected this forward thinking: “Turn the hot stove on high because the 2009 season starts today. We'll be better next year from the get-go, that’s a promise. Every ’08 Cannons roster invitee is under contact through the 2010 season so we’ll all be back to exact revenge from the Rifles and our other opponents. [Tom] Luby and [Bill] Gills are excellent in-house additions and all we really need to win from April through August next season, bolstering our roster and completing the Cannons vision of a championship-caliber contender. This is by far the most talent we’ve ever assembled and we had many if not all of the pieces necessary to win today but another year of seasoning, plus plenty of time at [Drew] McDowell's training complex, will make us instant favorites in the CNMSBL A Division tomorrow and for the foreseeable future. The rest of the league is on notice.” The Connecticut Cannons are not corpses so it can indeed be assumed that the team will rebound and redouble its efforts in eight months, for the entire ’09 campaign and the hall of fame hereafter.
Despite a disappointing performance against the A’s last Sunday (a 7-0 loss), Connecticut was just one of three teams still in contention for the coveted Clinton Trophy and a first-ever CNMSBL A Division crown for the Town of Newington entering play on Saturday. Through perseverance—as it had done in 2006—the cerise-clad club proved to CNMSBL prognosticators and pundits that no playoff picture is complete without the primary color-crimson of the Cannons. The team, poised on the precipice of something truly monumental, played with according passion against its divisional rival from Winsted. Connecticut scored three first-frame runs against Rifles ace Danny “Taxi” DiVita as McDowell singled, Bill Balcerzak worked a walk and Tom Clark doubled home both runners (Clark would later score on a dropped pop to center off the bat of catcher Kevin Quinn). Ageless left-hander Mike Patenaude, pitching for the fourth time in two weekends and adamant that “offense is going to win this thing,” took his customary perch on the mound baffling Winsted’s batters through much of the early going, allowing his first hit of the day, a third-inning double by ninth batter Cogsworth Lussier, while facing just eleven Rifles through three complete. After stranding a runner ninety feet from home in the previous inning, the Cannons offense was at it again against DiVita in the fourth as Quinn led off with a double down the left field line, Mike Weber squeezed a seeing-eye single between third and short and Mike “Liut” McGann, so named for his butterfly saves on balls to the hot corner (“I like being on my knees,” quipped the third baseman), came up big with a run-scoring single to left. After a Jason Maule walk with one out loaded the bases Weber wound up at home because of a passed ball that bounced by backstop William DeVanney but Connecticut couldn’t push any additional runs across as McDowell and Balcerzak were retired to end the threat. Patenaude hit a hiccup in the home half of the fourth as Paul “Have You Ever Seen a Grown Man Naked?” Graves doubled and Dane “Employee of the Month” Cooke was issued a base on balls but a ground out to Balcerzak at short ended the threat and the Cannons escaped with the 5-0 lead still intact. In the seventh, Clark scorched a one-out single and Leo “El Gringo de Santo Domingo” Dionicio followed with a base hit to put runners at the corners. Quinn cracked a sacrifice fly to center—that at the time seemed barely-needed insurance—scoring Clark with the sixth Cannons run. Patenaude, nearly perfect through six, walked an irritating Graves on four flips to start the seventh and Cooke chipped in with a single to move a runner into scoring position (only the third Rifle to reach second safely on the afternoon). As Winsted willfully worked umpire Nemo Disney, an infield pop-up to Don Armatino allowed Connecticut followers to collectively exhale its bated breath but Howie Longhi’s subsequent single loaded the bases putting pressure back on the Cannons pitcher. Patenaude responded by striking out pinch hitter Garrett Leifert on three pitches to put Connecticut one out away from its first A Division Finals appearance. But the baseball gods had other intentions as Al Boucino followed with a two-strike knock past a diving McGann placing Winsted on the board at 6-1. DeVanney dinked a ball up the middle for a RBI and DiVita dropped a one-and-two dying quail into right field out of the reach of Andy Borst to score two more as Graves chided his club: “Anybody who makes the last out is gonna get beat like a red-headed stepchild” (DiVita’s foul ball deep down the right field line couldn’t be corralled by McDowell continuing the craziness). Williams, two for his last twelve against Cannons pitchers yet apparently averse to an a**-kicking, stepped into the batters box against Patenaude (6.2 IP, 8 H, 7 ER, 2 K, 2 BB) and deposited a one-strike offering into the right field bleachers for a three-run blast, a nine mile no-doubter, that capped the improbable comeback and catapulted the Rifles into the Championship while conversely causing coronary episodes throughout a crushed Cannon Nation. All the promise of the previous six and two-thirds innings disappeared with one potent poke. Devastating, mind-numbing and shocking were just some of the words uttered by players after season-stopping reality started to settle in. Make no mistake about it: Winsted earned this victory, Connecticut did not gift wrap it. Granted, a game and a golden opportunity were lost but the enduring belief that the Connecticut Cannons will bounce back shows the will to win that exists in each and every Cannons player.
With Nietzsche’s teachings of eternal recurrence as a guide, the words CANNONS FOREVER! have never been more meaningful: the team’s play is perpetual, something far more significant than a single postseason Saturday. Mental scars may be left and will without question take time to heal but they add character and the Cannons will undoubtedly emerge stronger for having played and lost this game. Balcerzak buys into this philosophy whole-heartedly: “Regarding the future of the team, we aren’t going to forget his game and we are going to come back stronger next year. In the grand scheme of things how we respond to this adversity is really all that matters. We expected to win against Winsted on opening weekend, after the Fourth of July break, in Game Two of the Playoffs, in the semifinal and every time we will play them down the road we’ll expect the same. The only thing that has changed here is our resolve as a team. All things seem difficult before they get easy. All past failures are over the second you cut them loose.” Death is the only thing that takes away from one more chance and the Connecticut Cannons are alive and kicking. The collective pulse pounds and when the heart beats with a purpose, no task is ever too difficult, no goal too great. 2009 regular and postseason success will fulfill the philosophical ideals behind Cannons Baseball: be the most talented, closest knit, best run team in the CNMSBL then quickly and ceaselessly you’ll be kickin’ “A” and takin’ names. See you next season!
Cannons News and Notes: Connecticut batted .261 as a team in postseason play, down from .295 in the regular season (opponents batted .273 and .270 respectively); McDowell led or tied for tops on the team in eight of thirteen offensive categories during the ’08 playoffs: at-bats (14), hits (6), home runs (1, with Maule), runs (3, with Clark and Maule), runs batted in (3, with Clark), batting average (.429), slugging percentage (.714) and on-base + slugging percentage (1.143); Maule is the team’s all-time leader in playoff batting average (.606), on-base percentage (.667), slugging percentage (.909) and on-base + slugging percentage (1.576)…he has not struck out in thirty-nine postseason plate appearances with the Cannons; Dionicio is the team’s all-time A Division leader in playoff at-bats (37); Patenaude has pitched in exactly half of Connecticut’s postseason games since 2004 (twelve of twenty-four) accounting for almost exactly half of the innings pitched (57.1 of 115)…he has tossed twenty-five strike outs and allowed twenty-five free passes in ten career playoff decisions (5-5) during that same span; since the team joined the A Division in ’06, Clark is the postseason leader in ERA (4.61); Cannons’ pitchers have allowed opponents to hit .331 in ten A Division playoff games while the team’s batters posted a .311 average over that same frame; Connecticut’s Weber was quoted on Sunday as saying, “The thought of new uniforms is one thing that will help me get past this game and through the off-season.”…the team is currently considering any and all color schemes though navy seems to be the front runner (McGann still prefers hunter green...or pink); Clark wondered why the Cannons’ Assistant Manager has missed so many team get-togethers recently due to an unspecified “illness:” “What's Web got, West Nile virus?”; C Steve Markie was in attendance for the first several inning of the Winsted game (perhaps the “Good Luck Steve” should have stuck around); Team Canada (sponsored by Labatt’s) featuring Balcerzak and McGann downed Team U.S.A.’s Clark and Celio two games to one in Thursday’s darts rematch at The Spigot (Celio spent much of the losing effort on the phone with his “Pineapple Express” buddy Borst discussing Saturday’s defensive alignments)...Balcerzak wore his Incredible Hulk t-shirt (circa 1979) earning BB the new nickname “Bill Bixby”; Disney said of his shrinking seventh inning strike zone: “As an umpire you have to change your zone like that late in a game. If not, the other team isn’t going to have a chance to come back.”…the league is accepting applications for umpiring positions immediately; Dionicio’s buddy Nelson de la Rosa stopped by M.C.C. on Saturday to keep score for the Rifles…“The Dominican Dreamboat” is feverishly working the waiver wires to sign P Juan Checo: “I know how much Coach [Celio] loves Dominicans and this new recruit will be a great addition to the Cannons. I’m tired to be the only Dominican on the team, probably in the whole league. But with Juan I can talk trash about all the blanquitos right on [their] faces and [they] will never know!”; Patenaude is once again exploring the possibility of penning powerhouse catcher John Hepple to a lucrative multi-year contract this off-season; Celio, McGann and former Cannon Craig Perrier (now the batting champion of the Boston Braves at .433) spent Monday evening drowning their sorrows at Plan B and the Wood-n-Tap; regular season Champion Marlborough dropped the opener on Saturday afternoon (6-4 in eight innings) then demolished Winsted—struggling through their seventh game in nine days—on Sunday (15-1) to capture its first CNMSBL A Division postseason crown; Cannons management is looking at two dates (6:30 p.m. Saturday, September 20 or Saturday September 27) for the annual End-of-Year Extravaganza at The Webers in Newington…dinner, drinks, Cannons Jeopardy! and the Cannons Awards are all on the agenda…clear your calendars for the fun-filled festivities! CANNONS FOREVER!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
SEVENTH HEAVEN
Cannons Take Two of Three, Advance to CNMSBL’s Second Saturday
Newington/Manchester, CT (AP)—In ancient astronomy, before the telescope was invented, people referred to the Sun, Moon and five planets—Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn—visible with the naked eye as the Seven Heavenly Objects. Each had its own assigned layer of heaven or sky and each was considered to be one step further away from Earth and one step closer to God. It was believed by many cultures, and still is by some today, that when people died their souls floated in the sky as they visited each of the Seven Heavenly Objects on their travels to the outermost layer of heaven. When they reached that final destination, they actually met God who existed just above the last layer of heaven. On Saturday and Sunday, the Connecticut Cannons baseball team (the seventh seed in these 2008 CNMSBL Playoffs) moved closer to its final destination, a first-ever A Division title, with a pair of heavenly postseason performances. And though the near-nirvana inducing play of Saturday—3-2 and 7-5 late game come-from-behind wins against second seeded Bristol and third seeded Winsted—could not be carried over into Sunday—a 7-0 loss to top seeded Marlborough—the Cannons 2008 travels continue while the journey for five of the league’s eight teams has come to a close. Connecticut lives to play another day and that is all a team can ask for in a survive-and-advance double elimination tournament.
Opening round action at Alumni Field in Newington found the Cannons matched against long-time nemesis the Metallurgists of Bristol, a team that had amassed an unblemished 7-0 record against Connecticut in regular- and postseason play. Cannons Manager Matt Celio, brimming with confidence, was excited by the opportunity in front of his team: “[Assistant Manager Mike] Web[er] asked the time-honored tournament question ‘Why not us?’ in a press conference earlier this week and I concur unequivocally with this query. We’ve come a long way as a team and I think we have a chance to do something very special here. We can effectively take care of two birds with one stone: winning our first round game while beating Bristol for the first time in franchise history. We’ve played good baseball at times but in no way have we played our best baseball. Our ‘A Game’ awaits and that is a scary proposition for the opposition. Is there any team out there that poses a serious threat? This is one of those dare-to-be-great moments and I know we will make the most of it.” Connecticut, sporting its strongest line-up since the season’s opening Sunday, marched ageless left-hander Mike “Ponce de Cannon” Patenaude to the mound against Bristol’s lefty ace Giglielmo “Radio” Arconti and runs would prove to be at a premium as both pitchers pounded the strike zone. Lead off batter Jason “White Shoes” Maule started the playoff party in the first as he singled and used his wheels to eventually end up at third base but he was stranded as Drew McDowell, Bill Balcerzak and Tom Clark went down in order. Patenaude allowed a single to Robert “Vanilla Ice” Rapponey but followed with a double play grounder to Balcerzak at short erasing the base runner. Doug Riemer worked a 3-and-1 count before coming up with a two-out two bagger, Oliver Platt doubled him home and Vladimir “Funky Cold” Bratina added to the lead with a run-scoring single to put the Scrappers on top by a 2-0 tally. The Cannons responded immediately as Weber doubled with one down in the top of the second and after Mike “Mayor of Manville” McGann, so named because he seems to be a magnet for man-meat whenever he is out and about, grounded out to the right side moving Weber up ninety feet Celio singled over the bag at third to put Connecticut on the board, cutting Bristol’s lead in half (the fat-footed Celio pulled a hamstring as he tried to stretch the single into a double and is listed as “questionable” for the remainder of the playoffs). Patenaude served up a single in the home half of the second—the final hit he would allow—but was able to get out of the inning as the ninth and tenth batters in the extended Metallurgist line-up grounded to first and third respectively (he would face the minimum fifteen batters in the final five innings; a 1-4-3 double play erased the lone walk the fifty-two year old issued in the fourth). Arconti was more than up to the challenge, surrendering a single to McDowell with two away in the third before recording seven consecutive outs to finish the fifth frame. Before batting in the sixth, Celio channeled his inner Tommy Lasorda—his outer already looks like the Dodgers legend—and called upon the top of the order to step up against their ferrous foes. Maule and McDowell took their manager at his word, blasting back-to-back solo shots into the right and left-center stands, putting the Cannons on top with Patenaude needing to record just six outs for his team to advance. A pumped up Patenaude (7 IP, 5 H, 2 ER, 3 K, 1 BB) struck out three of the final six batters he faced tossing just eighty-seven spectacular pitches while adding another page to his already storied postseason scrapbook. “MP has won some huge games for us in eight seasons of playoff pitching performances,” marveled Celio. “But the ‘Old Man of the C’ was really dealing out there today and the defense didn’t disappoint. After the first frame he was all but untouchable. The two-seamer he added in the off-season has made him so much more effective and I’m sure Bristol barely knows what hit ‘em out there. This guy is big time.” McDowell added accolades for another teammate: “Jason is the man. To step up to the plate late in a ball game and tie things up with one swing of the stick is enormous. He’s the definition of a professional hitter. All the pressure was off and I knew I could just sit back and wait on Arconti’s change-up. Fortunately I got the pitch I was looking for and was able to put a good swing on it. I’m really proud of how this team stayed in it. We never gave up and I think that bodes well for us as the playoffs roll on.”
With the win, Connecticut packed up its equipment and headed to Manchester Community College to face the winner of the 6 @ 3 match-up between the Cubs of Eastern Connecticut and the Rifles (a 4-3 comeback victory somewhat similar to the heroics displayed by the Cannons). Connecticut once again got early production from its lead-off batter as Maule doubled and stole third easily. With the contact play on, Balcerzak hit a bouncer back to the box that was fielded and flipped home by Artie Lange to cut down the Cannons’ centerfielder and Winsted was able to escape the frame unharmed. “Rubber Man” Patenaude promised to provide as much pitching as possible as he continued to baffle batters, setting down the first five batters he faced and six of his first seven (a Dane Cooke double came with two outs in the second). Connecticut’s offense received some much-needed support from the bottom third as Chris Barsa singled with one out and Andy Borst worked a walk. Maule had an RBI single and McDowell followed with a two-run scorcher to the wall that landed him on second with another big time extra base hit. After eight consecutive scoreless innings, Howie Longhi singled after falling behind 0-and-2 and fouling off three pitches. Garrett Leifert hit a nubber toward third that Patenaude fielded and fired to first but the ball got away from Barsa and skipped dangerously down the right field fence. McDowell hustled and heaved the ball back into the infield but Longhi had scored and Leifert stood on third courtesy of the three-bag error. Al Boucino lofted a sacrifice fly to right and the three run Connecticut cushion had been quickly chopped to one. In the top of the fourth Maule walked and was driven home by Balcerzak (his first postseason RBI as a member of the Cannons) to push the Big Guns further in front but the lead would be short-lived as Patenaude (4 IP, 5 H, 5 R, 3 ER, 1 K) was touched for three runs in the home half of the inning. Billy Dee Williams led off with a double and Manager Paul “Digger” Graves reached as Balcerzak’s throw one-hopped Barsa and could not be corralled. Cooke’s single scored Williams and Graves raced to a vacated home plate as Andy Borst backed up the play at first to knot the score at four. Longhi’s fielder’s choice erased Cooke but the second baseman was able to score as the ninth batter, Leifert, doubled home the go-ahead run for a 5-4 Winsted advantage. “One hundred forty-eight pitches is a bunch and as expected Mike wasn’t as sharp as he had been earlier in the day as the pitch count mounted (forty-one of those pitches were tossed in the third and fourth frames),” Celio said in his post-game press conference. “He gave us everything he had in the tank—in fact, I’m sure he wanted to go back out there in the fifth—but with Tommy waiting in the wings we decided it was time for a change. Few teams have two top-of-the-rotation guys on their staff plus the luxury to have innings eaten up on a back-to-back basis. This is the playoffs and both of these guys put their egos aside and did what was best for the team. It’s what you expect from professionals and it’s why we have these guys locked into long-term contracts. It’s money well spent: these guys were fun to watch today.” Right-hander Clark entered in the home half of the fifth and was helped immediately by his defense as McDowell made a tumbling grab in left off the bat of William DeVanney (McDowell started the game in right but moved to the other side of the outfield when Clark went to the mound; John “Blue Fire” Mancini took over for McDowell in right). Danny DiVita reached via a base on balls but was put in the book when Williams grounded into a fielder’s choice to Leo Dionicio at second. Willimas stole second, moving into scoring position, but was caught napping as Balcerzak snuck in behind him and Clark put another of his patented pick-off throws on the money. With the Cannons once again down by a run in the top of the sixth Celio implored his first five batters to deliver in the clutch and they did just that. McDowell singled (his fourth hit of the day) and moved up ninety feet on a passed ball. With two outs, Clark doubled to deep left field to tie the game and soon thereafter scored as Dionicio doubled him home to put the Cannons back on top by a score of 6-5. “I had goose bumps all up and down my arms when [Celio] talked to the team. This was a pressure moment for us and in those situations I love to grab my bat and stroke some balls. It feels really nice.” Clark ran into some trouble in the bottom of the inning as he walked Graves and beaned Cooke. A sacrifice bunt to third moved both runners into scoring position but the defense made big play after big play to keep the Rifles at bay. Balcerzak fielded a sharply hit grounder at short and threw the pill to the plate. Though the throw was off line and a bit in front of the dish Borst was able to scoop it up and slap a tag on Williams (pinch running for Graves) whose indecision was apparent from the moment the ball left the bat. Incredibly, Dionicio was able to surprise Cooke as Clark threw another perfect pick to end the inning. Barsa led off the seventh with a triple to center and scored on a Borst sacrifice fly to push the lead back to two and Clark (3 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 2 K, 3 BB, 1 HBP), like his left-handed counterpart Patenaude, sensed victory and shut Winsted down by striking out two of the four batters he faced in the final frame (DeVanney managed a harmless two-out walk). In madness normally reserved for March, the Connecticut Cannons summarily sent the CNMSBL’s second and third seeds into the losers’ bracket, setting up a showdown with bitter rival Marlborough in Sunday’s sole match-up of undefeated teams, a pairing unexpected in every A Division town not named Newington. To be the best Connecticut would have to beat the best (the A’s finished the regular season a league-leading 13-5).
The Athletics were undoubtedly stunned to see the Cannons across the diamond on this sun-dappled Sunday morning, a team they had beaten handily during the regular season by scores of 6-3 and 12-2. After a forty-three pitch performance in Saturday afternoon’s victory, Clark called for the ball as Connecticut looked for its first ever A Division finals berth. The A’s, matched against eighth seeded Newington and fourth seeded Glastonbury on opening day play, were able to conserve staff ace Giuseppe “Celebrity” Moletti for this important contest (in contrast, the Cannons were without third and fourth pitchers Kevin Quinn and Adam Pallone both of whom were in New Jersey for Pallone’s nuptials). For the first time this postseason Maule was unable to lead off the game by getting on and Marlborough was able to breathe a collective sigh of relief once the reigning Offensive Player of the Year and Most Valuable Cannon was retired (even though McDowell singled and stole second later in the inning he was stranded by Balcerzak and Clark). The A’s struck early as first batter Buddy “Saved By the” Bell singled and Moletti was issued a free pass. After getting Mason “The Line” Dixon to pop weakly to second, Rhett Baron hit a ground ball to “Latin Lothario” Dionicio which he gloved and gunned to second but field umpire Kellen Heller missed the force out and called all runners safe (the ensuing throw to first to salvage an out bounced up the first base line and Bell was able to scamper home with the first run of the game). Clark settled down and got a pair of ground outs to Balcerzak at short limiting Marlborough to a 1-0 lead. Moletti retired eight of the next nine batters he faced (a two-out Clark double in the fourth was the lone blemish) and as his Cannons counterpart crossed the one hundred-pitch barrier on the weekend he started to show signs of being human. Bell doubled to lead off the home half of the fourth and Moletti drove him home with a base hit. A pair of seeing eye singles from Baron and Shannen “90210” Doherty loaded the bases and a Brett “Plan B” Jacobsen sacrifice fly to left pushed the Athletics advantage to three. Connecticut went quietly in the fifth but Marlborough would strike for four more runs against Clark (4.2 IP, 12 H, 7 R, 5 ER, 1 K, 4 BB, 1 HBP) in the bottom of the inning. David “The Doctor” Livingston and Loni “WKRP” Anderson, the eighth and ninth batters in the A’s order, singled to start the frame (Livingston later scored on a wild pitch) and Moletti followed with a one-out walk. Mason and Baron had back-to-back RBI singles as Marlborough’s lead swelled to six and Patenaude (1.1 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 K, 0 BB) replaced Clark. The left-hander allowed a sun-aided run-scoring single to Doherty but was able to wiggle out of a bases loaded jam as Livingston, batting for the second time in the inning, flew out to a diving Clark in right. Maule was hit by a pitch in the sixth while Jack Vanasse worked a walk and Barsa singled in the seventh but the Cannons were unable to push the runners across as Moletti secured the shutout with a strike out of Borst. Celio was proud of his team’s effort but was also realistic about a major missed opportunity: “We played terrific baseball for much of the weekend and we live to play another day. There’s something to be said for finishing higher in the regular season standings and the easier road that comes along with it. There are no easy games in the playoffs but there are easier match-ups. Many of the things that made us so solid on Saturday—clutch hitting regardless of the number of outs, putting the opponent’s lead-off batter in the book inning after inning and a certain swagger that allowed us to battle back from adversity—were in short supply on Sunday. Tom and Mike gave everything they had once again and I probably left TC out there one frame too long but if we don’t put any runs on the board it doesn’t really matter how many the other team scores: 1-0, 3-0, or 7-0 is all the same at the end of the day. Letting things outside our control, like a short roster, umpires and a high sky, become distractions derailed us a bit out there today. We have to expect to win despite the difficulties facing us and stay together as a team no matter what. The A’s are in an enviable position but if we play ball the way we’re capable of anything is possible. Our goals haven’t changed since April and we’ll still be playing ball on the final weekend of the season while five teams will be watching on television. We’re not settling and we’re not satisfied with third place. The title is right there for the taking and this is not a spot that will intimidate us in any way. Don’t count the Cannons out just yet.”
The seventh seeded Cannons were stalled at level three on their way to hardball heaven. They reached the Moon but the Athletics were their Apollo 13. “Newington, we have a problem.” But not one that is insurmountable. It’s been said that if you shoot for the Moon, even if you miss you’ll land among the stars and the brightest stars in the CNMSBL galaxy will be on display next weekend as the Rifles, Athletics and Cannons continue the celestial journey toward a Championship. Next up for Connecticut is a Saturday single elimination date with Winsted at Manchester Community College (despite defeating the Rifles on the opening weekend, the Cannons still come in as the lower seed and will play as the road team; with a pair of wins on Saturday Connecticut would become the home team for the final contest of the ’08 season). The winner advances to a two-game series against the Athletics that will determine the 2008 CNMSBL A Division Champion. In order to capture the crown the Connecticut will have to do the unprecedented: defeat the one seed twice, the two seed once and the three seed twice on successive weekends. Hoisting the highly-coveted hardware that is the Clinton Trophy above Connecticut’s collective heads would be nothing short of heavenly. Like Wham!, we waver on the edge of heaven…and it can’t wait. Elysium is ahead Cannon Nation. Tickets for the August 16 match-up against the Pea Shooters and all subsequent contests are sold out. Get you RED on…and there’s only one crimson ball club left!
Cannons News and Notes: The nine total team wins shattered the old mark of six set in both 2006 and 2007; McDowell’s five hits were the most on the team (Maule followed with four…Barsa, Clark and Dionicio all had multiple hits); Maule’s four hits give him twenty in thirty postseason at-bats since ’06 (.667); ten of the Cannons twenty hits in the three games went for extra bases (seven doubles, one triple, two home runs); Barsa’s lifetime batting average jumps 62 points from the regular season (.280) to the playoffs (.342); Connecticut was 17 for 53 (.293) against Bristol and Winsted but only 3 for 24 (.125) against Marlborough dropping the team batting average for the full weekend to .244 (on-base percentage dipped from .345 in the regular season to .303 with just 27 of 89 runners reaching safely); Patenaude put up impressive numbers while pitching in all three contests: 12.1 IP, 10 H, 1 BB, 0.91 WHIP, .204 BAA, 2.85 ERA; Connecticut’s team ERA fell from 4.19 in regular season play to a solid 3.50 through the first three games of the playoffs; McGann wore eye black for the first time this season in the Winsted game to combat the blazing sunlight (not only did the black burn his face but he went down three time via the backwards K); when Dionicio’s children arrived on Saturday afternoon each greeted Barsa with his or her own version of the “Bronx Cheer,” telling the first baseman, “You stink Barsa!”; “WMD”…President Bush doesn’t have to visit Iraq to find them according to Dionicio, he just needs to enjoy some Cannons Baseball…members of the Mass Destruction Mashers include the Ws (William Balcerzak and Weber), Ms (Maule and McDowell) and the D (Dionicio); Celio (fat) and Borst (funky) earned the nickname “Pineapple Express” when batting back-to-back at the bottom of the Connecticut order in game one after the Seth Rogen/James Franco vehicle that hit theaters earlier in the week; Tom Luby and Kevin McGann were seen in attendance at last weekend’s games (Luby is still under contract with the Cannons through the 2010 season…McGann has been involved in conversation with Luby’s agent about a possible return to the team in ’09); Celio, Clark, McGann and Balcerzak spent an alcohol-soaked Thursday evening out on the town after a cage session at Baseball City that provided plenty of CNN fodder: Clark/Celio defeated Balcerzak/McGann two to one in darts at The Spigot in Hartford where TC played Abba’s “Take a Chance on Me”—a Weber fave—on the jukebox (a not-so-veiled attempt to manipulate management’s rotational reasoning?)…at Plan B in West Hartford, the Cannon quartet was immediately whisked to the “best table in the house” as Balcerzak was mistaken for “The Golden Boy” Oscar de la Hoya…in what could only be described as homeroom high jinx, Clark had his chair pulled from under him by an overprotective patron (the pitcher, not wanting to hit his head, flung himself into the crowded bar area, injuring a female customer who was celebrating her birthday)…Clark became the first person in history to order the spaghetti and meatballs at the award-winning burger joint but it turned out to be an inspired choice: when his meal arrived the obviously-smitten server told the thirty-eight year old he had “beautiful balls” and even fed that ’08 Cannons batting champ his last lump (McGann, showing why he has been so successful with the ladies for the last decade, said: “Ten years ago I wouldn’t have picked up on a comment like that, but now I’m totally in tune with it.”)…“Gimme Three Steps” by Lynyrd Skynyrd was the first song to be played at both bars (Balcerzak hopes to attend the Kid Rock/Skynyrd “Rock and Rebels” concert at the New England Dodge Music Center at the end of August) fascinated by the phallic nature of the Cannons logo, provided a possible name change if the team ever decides to go a different route: the Connecticut Vaginal Butt Farts…imagine the marketing and media tie-ins!
Cannons Take Two of Three, Advance to CNMSBL’s Second Saturday
Newington/Manchester, CT (AP)—In ancient astronomy, before the telescope was invented, people referred to the Sun, Moon and five planets—Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn—visible with the naked eye as the Seven Heavenly Objects. Each had its own assigned layer of heaven or sky and each was considered to be one step further away from Earth and one step closer to God. It was believed by many cultures, and still is by some today, that when people died their souls floated in the sky as they visited each of the Seven Heavenly Objects on their travels to the outermost layer of heaven. When they reached that final destination, they actually met God who existed just above the last layer of heaven. On Saturday and Sunday, the Connecticut Cannons baseball team (the seventh seed in these 2008 CNMSBL Playoffs) moved closer to its final destination, a first-ever A Division title, with a pair of heavenly postseason performances. And though the near-nirvana inducing play of Saturday—3-2 and 7-5 late game come-from-behind wins against second seeded Bristol and third seeded Winsted—could not be carried over into Sunday—a 7-0 loss to top seeded Marlborough—the Cannons 2008 travels continue while the journey for five of the league’s eight teams has come to a close. Connecticut lives to play another day and that is all a team can ask for in a survive-and-advance double elimination tournament.
Opening round action at Alumni Field in Newington found the Cannons matched against long-time nemesis the Metallurgists of Bristol, a team that had amassed an unblemished 7-0 record against Connecticut in regular- and postseason play. Cannons Manager Matt Celio, brimming with confidence, was excited by the opportunity in front of his team: “[Assistant Manager Mike] Web[er] asked the time-honored tournament question ‘Why not us?’ in a press conference earlier this week and I concur unequivocally with this query. We’ve come a long way as a team and I think we have a chance to do something very special here. We can effectively take care of two birds with one stone: winning our first round game while beating Bristol for the first time in franchise history. We’ve played good baseball at times but in no way have we played our best baseball. Our ‘A Game’ awaits and that is a scary proposition for the opposition. Is there any team out there that poses a serious threat? This is one of those dare-to-be-great moments and I know we will make the most of it.” Connecticut, sporting its strongest line-up since the season’s opening Sunday, marched ageless left-hander Mike “Ponce de Cannon” Patenaude to the mound against Bristol’s lefty ace Giglielmo “Radio” Arconti and runs would prove to be at a premium as both pitchers pounded the strike zone. Lead off batter Jason “White Shoes” Maule started the playoff party in the first as he singled and used his wheels to eventually end up at third base but he was stranded as Drew McDowell, Bill Balcerzak and Tom Clark went down in order. Patenaude allowed a single to Robert “Vanilla Ice” Rapponey but followed with a double play grounder to Balcerzak at short erasing the base runner. Doug Riemer worked a 3-and-1 count before coming up with a two-out two bagger, Oliver Platt doubled him home and Vladimir “Funky Cold” Bratina added to the lead with a run-scoring single to put the Scrappers on top by a 2-0 tally. The Cannons responded immediately as Weber doubled with one down in the top of the second and after Mike “Mayor of Manville” McGann, so named because he seems to be a magnet for man-meat whenever he is out and about, grounded out to the right side moving Weber up ninety feet Celio singled over the bag at third to put Connecticut on the board, cutting Bristol’s lead in half (the fat-footed Celio pulled a hamstring as he tried to stretch the single into a double and is listed as “questionable” for the remainder of the playoffs). Patenaude served up a single in the home half of the second—the final hit he would allow—but was able to get out of the inning as the ninth and tenth batters in the extended Metallurgist line-up grounded to first and third respectively (he would face the minimum fifteen batters in the final five innings; a 1-4-3 double play erased the lone walk the fifty-two year old issued in the fourth). Arconti was more than up to the challenge, surrendering a single to McDowell with two away in the third before recording seven consecutive outs to finish the fifth frame. Before batting in the sixth, Celio channeled his inner Tommy Lasorda—his outer already looks like the Dodgers legend—and called upon the top of the order to step up against their ferrous foes. Maule and McDowell took their manager at his word, blasting back-to-back solo shots into the right and left-center stands, putting the Cannons on top with Patenaude needing to record just six outs for his team to advance. A pumped up Patenaude (7 IP, 5 H, 2 ER, 3 K, 1 BB) struck out three of the final six batters he faced tossing just eighty-seven spectacular pitches while adding another page to his already storied postseason scrapbook. “MP has won some huge games for us in eight seasons of playoff pitching performances,” marveled Celio. “But the ‘Old Man of the C’ was really dealing out there today and the defense didn’t disappoint. After the first frame he was all but untouchable. The two-seamer he added in the off-season has made him so much more effective and I’m sure Bristol barely knows what hit ‘em out there. This guy is big time.” McDowell added accolades for another teammate: “Jason is the man. To step up to the plate late in a ball game and tie things up with one swing of the stick is enormous. He’s the definition of a professional hitter. All the pressure was off and I knew I could just sit back and wait on Arconti’s change-up. Fortunately I got the pitch I was looking for and was able to put a good swing on it. I’m really proud of how this team stayed in it. We never gave up and I think that bodes well for us as the playoffs roll on.”
With the win, Connecticut packed up its equipment and headed to Manchester Community College to face the winner of the 6 @ 3 match-up between the Cubs of Eastern Connecticut and the Rifles (a 4-3 comeback victory somewhat similar to the heroics displayed by the Cannons). Connecticut once again got early production from its lead-off batter as Maule doubled and stole third easily. With the contact play on, Balcerzak hit a bouncer back to the box that was fielded and flipped home by Artie Lange to cut down the Cannons’ centerfielder and Winsted was able to escape the frame unharmed. “Rubber Man” Patenaude promised to provide as much pitching as possible as he continued to baffle batters, setting down the first five batters he faced and six of his first seven (a Dane Cooke double came with two outs in the second). Connecticut’s offense received some much-needed support from the bottom third as Chris Barsa singled with one out and Andy Borst worked a walk. Maule had an RBI single and McDowell followed with a two-run scorcher to the wall that landed him on second with another big time extra base hit. After eight consecutive scoreless innings, Howie Longhi singled after falling behind 0-and-2 and fouling off three pitches. Garrett Leifert hit a nubber toward third that Patenaude fielded and fired to first but the ball got away from Barsa and skipped dangerously down the right field fence. McDowell hustled and heaved the ball back into the infield but Longhi had scored and Leifert stood on third courtesy of the three-bag error. Al Boucino lofted a sacrifice fly to right and the three run Connecticut cushion had been quickly chopped to one. In the top of the fourth Maule walked and was driven home by Balcerzak (his first postseason RBI as a member of the Cannons) to push the Big Guns further in front but the lead would be short-lived as Patenaude (4 IP, 5 H, 5 R, 3 ER, 1 K) was touched for three runs in the home half of the inning. Billy Dee Williams led off with a double and Manager Paul “Digger” Graves reached as Balcerzak’s throw one-hopped Barsa and could not be corralled. Cooke’s single scored Williams and Graves raced to a vacated home plate as Andy Borst backed up the play at first to knot the score at four. Longhi’s fielder’s choice erased Cooke but the second baseman was able to score as the ninth batter, Leifert, doubled home the go-ahead run for a 5-4 Winsted advantage. “One hundred forty-eight pitches is a bunch and as expected Mike wasn’t as sharp as he had been earlier in the day as the pitch count mounted (forty-one of those pitches were tossed in the third and fourth frames),” Celio said in his post-game press conference. “He gave us everything he had in the tank—in fact, I’m sure he wanted to go back out there in the fifth—but with Tommy waiting in the wings we decided it was time for a change. Few teams have two top-of-the-rotation guys on their staff plus the luxury to have innings eaten up on a back-to-back basis. This is the playoffs and both of these guys put their egos aside and did what was best for the team. It’s what you expect from professionals and it’s why we have these guys locked into long-term contracts. It’s money well spent: these guys were fun to watch today.” Right-hander Clark entered in the home half of the fifth and was helped immediately by his defense as McDowell made a tumbling grab in left off the bat of William DeVanney (McDowell started the game in right but moved to the other side of the outfield when Clark went to the mound; John “Blue Fire” Mancini took over for McDowell in right). Danny DiVita reached via a base on balls but was put in the book when Williams grounded into a fielder’s choice to Leo Dionicio at second. Willimas stole second, moving into scoring position, but was caught napping as Balcerzak snuck in behind him and Clark put another of his patented pick-off throws on the money. With the Cannons once again down by a run in the top of the sixth Celio implored his first five batters to deliver in the clutch and they did just that. McDowell singled (his fourth hit of the day) and moved up ninety feet on a passed ball. With two outs, Clark doubled to deep left field to tie the game and soon thereafter scored as Dionicio doubled him home to put the Cannons back on top by a score of 6-5. “I had goose bumps all up and down my arms when [Celio] talked to the team. This was a pressure moment for us and in those situations I love to grab my bat and stroke some balls. It feels really nice.” Clark ran into some trouble in the bottom of the inning as he walked Graves and beaned Cooke. A sacrifice bunt to third moved both runners into scoring position but the defense made big play after big play to keep the Rifles at bay. Balcerzak fielded a sharply hit grounder at short and threw the pill to the plate. Though the throw was off line and a bit in front of the dish Borst was able to scoop it up and slap a tag on Williams (pinch running for Graves) whose indecision was apparent from the moment the ball left the bat. Incredibly, Dionicio was able to surprise Cooke as Clark threw another perfect pick to end the inning. Barsa led off the seventh with a triple to center and scored on a Borst sacrifice fly to push the lead back to two and Clark (3 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 2 K, 3 BB, 1 HBP), like his left-handed counterpart Patenaude, sensed victory and shut Winsted down by striking out two of the four batters he faced in the final frame (DeVanney managed a harmless two-out walk). In madness normally reserved for March, the Connecticut Cannons summarily sent the CNMSBL’s second and third seeds into the losers’ bracket, setting up a showdown with bitter rival Marlborough in Sunday’s sole match-up of undefeated teams, a pairing unexpected in every A Division town not named Newington. To be the best Connecticut would have to beat the best (the A’s finished the regular season a league-leading 13-5).
The Athletics were undoubtedly stunned to see the Cannons across the diamond on this sun-dappled Sunday morning, a team they had beaten handily during the regular season by scores of 6-3 and 12-2. After a forty-three pitch performance in Saturday afternoon’s victory, Clark called for the ball as Connecticut looked for its first ever A Division finals berth. The A’s, matched against eighth seeded Newington and fourth seeded Glastonbury on opening day play, were able to conserve staff ace Giuseppe “Celebrity” Moletti for this important contest (in contrast, the Cannons were without third and fourth pitchers Kevin Quinn and Adam Pallone both of whom were in New Jersey for Pallone’s nuptials). For the first time this postseason Maule was unable to lead off the game by getting on and Marlborough was able to breathe a collective sigh of relief once the reigning Offensive Player of the Year and Most Valuable Cannon was retired (even though McDowell singled and stole second later in the inning he was stranded by Balcerzak and Clark). The A’s struck early as first batter Buddy “Saved By the” Bell singled and Moletti was issued a free pass. After getting Mason “The Line” Dixon to pop weakly to second, Rhett Baron hit a ground ball to “Latin Lothario” Dionicio which he gloved and gunned to second but field umpire Kellen Heller missed the force out and called all runners safe (the ensuing throw to first to salvage an out bounced up the first base line and Bell was able to scamper home with the first run of the game). Clark settled down and got a pair of ground outs to Balcerzak at short limiting Marlborough to a 1-0 lead. Moletti retired eight of the next nine batters he faced (a two-out Clark double in the fourth was the lone blemish) and as his Cannons counterpart crossed the one hundred-pitch barrier on the weekend he started to show signs of being human. Bell doubled to lead off the home half of the fourth and Moletti drove him home with a base hit. A pair of seeing eye singles from Baron and Shannen “90210” Doherty loaded the bases and a Brett “Plan B” Jacobsen sacrifice fly to left pushed the Athletics advantage to three. Connecticut went quietly in the fifth but Marlborough would strike for four more runs against Clark (4.2 IP, 12 H, 7 R, 5 ER, 1 K, 4 BB, 1 HBP) in the bottom of the inning. David “The Doctor” Livingston and Loni “WKRP” Anderson, the eighth and ninth batters in the A’s order, singled to start the frame (Livingston later scored on a wild pitch) and Moletti followed with a one-out walk. Mason and Baron had back-to-back RBI singles as Marlborough’s lead swelled to six and Patenaude (1.1 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 K, 0 BB) replaced Clark. The left-hander allowed a sun-aided run-scoring single to Doherty but was able to wiggle out of a bases loaded jam as Livingston, batting for the second time in the inning, flew out to a diving Clark in right. Maule was hit by a pitch in the sixth while Jack Vanasse worked a walk and Barsa singled in the seventh but the Cannons were unable to push the runners across as Moletti secured the shutout with a strike out of Borst. Celio was proud of his team’s effort but was also realistic about a major missed opportunity: “We played terrific baseball for much of the weekend and we live to play another day. There’s something to be said for finishing higher in the regular season standings and the easier road that comes along with it. There are no easy games in the playoffs but there are easier match-ups. Many of the things that made us so solid on Saturday—clutch hitting regardless of the number of outs, putting the opponent’s lead-off batter in the book inning after inning and a certain swagger that allowed us to battle back from adversity—were in short supply on Sunday. Tom and Mike gave everything they had once again and I probably left TC out there one frame too long but if we don’t put any runs on the board it doesn’t really matter how many the other team scores: 1-0, 3-0, or 7-0 is all the same at the end of the day. Letting things outside our control, like a short roster, umpires and a high sky, become distractions derailed us a bit out there today. We have to expect to win despite the difficulties facing us and stay together as a team no matter what. The A’s are in an enviable position but if we play ball the way we’re capable of anything is possible. Our goals haven’t changed since April and we’ll still be playing ball on the final weekend of the season while five teams will be watching on television. We’re not settling and we’re not satisfied with third place. The title is right there for the taking and this is not a spot that will intimidate us in any way. Don’t count the Cannons out just yet.”
The seventh seeded Cannons were stalled at level three on their way to hardball heaven. They reached the Moon but the Athletics were their Apollo 13. “Newington, we have a problem.” But not one that is insurmountable. It’s been said that if you shoot for the Moon, even if you miss you’ll land among the stars and the brightest stars in the CNMSBL galaxy will be on display next weekend as the Rifles, Athletics and Cannons continue the celestial journey toward a Championship. Next up for Connecticut is a Saturday single elimination date with Winsted at Manchester Community College (despite defeating the Rifles on the opening weekend, the Cannons still come in as the lower seed and will play as the road team; with a pair of wins on Saturday Connecticut would become the home team for the final contest of the ’08 season). The winner advances to a two-game series against the Athletics that will determine the 2008 CNMSBL A Division Champion. In order to capture the crown the Connecticut will have to do the unprecedented: defeat the one seed twice, the two seed once and the three seed twice on successive weekends. Hoisting the highly-coveted hardware that is the Clinton Trophy above Connecticut’s collective heads would be nothing short of heavenly. Like Wham!, we waver on the edge of heaven…and it can’t wait. Elysium is ahead Cannon Nation. Tickets for the August 16 match-up against the Pea Shooters and all subsequent contests are sold out. Get you RED on…and there’s only one crimson ball club left!
Cannons News and Notes: The nine total team wins shattered the old mark of six set in both 2006 and 2007; McDowell’s five hits were the most on the team (Maule followed with four…Barsa, Clark and Dionicio all had multiple hits); Maule’s four hits give him twenty in thirty postseason at-bats since ’06 (.667); ten of the Cannons twenty hits in the three games went for extra bases (seven doubles, one triple, two home runs); Barsa’s lifetime batting average jumps 62 points from the regular season (.280) to the playoffs (.342); Connecticut was 17 for 53 (.293) against Bristol and Winsted but only 3 for 24 (.125) against Marlborough dropping the team batting average for the full weekend to .244 (on-base percentage dipped from .345 in the regular season to .303 with just 27 of 89 runners reaching safely); Patenaude put up impressive numbers while pitching in all three contests: 12.1 IP, 10 H, 1 BB, 0.91 WHIP, .204 BAA, 2.85 ERA; Connecticut’s team ERA fell from 4.19 in regular season play to a solid 3.50 through the first three games of the playoffs; McGann wore eye black for the first time this season in the Winsted game to combat the blazing sunlight (not only did the black burn his face but he went down three time via the backwards K); when Dionicio’s children arrived on Saturday afternoon each greeted Barsa with his or her own version of the “Bronx Cheer,” telling the first baseman, “You stink Barsa!”; “WMD”…President Bush doesn’t have to visit Iraq to find them according to Dionicio, he just needs to enjoy some Cannons Baseball…members of the Mass Destruction Mashers include the Ws (William Balcerzak and Weber), Ms (Maule and McDowell) and the D (Dionicio); Celio (fat) and Borst (funky) earned the nickname “Pineapple Express” when batting back-to-back at the bottom of the Connecticut order in game one after the Seth Rogen/James Franco vehicle that hit theaters earlier in the week; Tom Luby and Kevin McGann were seen in attendance at last weekend’s games (Luby is still under contract with the Cannons through the 2010 season…McGann has been involved in conversation with Luby’s agent about a possible return to the team in ’09); Celio, Clark, McGann and Balcerzak spent an alcohol-soaked Thursday evening out on the town after a cage session at Baseball City that provided plenty of CNN fodder: Clark/Celio defeated Balcerzak/McGann two to one in darts at The Spigot in Hartford where TC played Abba’s “Take a Chance on Me”—a Weber fave—on the jukebox (a not-so-veiled attempt to manipulate management’s rotational reasoning?)…at Plan B in West Hartford, the Cannon quartet was immediately whisked to the “best table in the house” as Balcerzak was mistaken for “The Golden Boy” Oscar de la Hoya…in what could only be described as homeroom high jinx, Clark had his chair pulled from under him by an overprotective patron (the pitcher, not wanting to hit his head, flung himself into the crowded bar area, injuring a female customer who was celebrating her birthday)…Clark became the first person in history to order the spaghetti and meatballs at the award-winning burger joint but it turned out to be an inspired choice: when his meal arrived the obviously-smitten server told the thirty-eight year old he had “beautiful balls” and even fed that ’08 Cannons batting champ his last lump (McGann, showing why he has been so successful with the ladies for the last decade, said: “Ten years ago I wouldn’t have picked up on a comment like that, but now I’m totally in tune with it.”)…“Gimme Three Steps” by Lynyrd Skynyrd was the first song to be played at both bars (Balcerzak hopes to attend the Kid Rock/Skynyrd “Rock and Rebels” concert at the New England Dodge Music Center at the end of August) fascinated by the phallic nature of the Cannons logo, provided a possible name change if the team ever decides to go a different route: the Connecticut Vaginal Butt Farts…imagine the marketing and media tie-ins!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
WHAT A LONG, STRANGE TRIP IT’S BEEN
Cannons Split Season Series with Nats, Await Sunday’s Results for Playoff Pairings
West Hartford, CT (AP)—The traditional CNMSBL season opener falls on the final weekend of April as expectations in towns around the league are finally acted out on the field of play. In Newington the 2008 season began as soon as the Marlborough Athletics final run crossed the plate, knocking the Connecticut Cannons from championship contention on August 11, 2007 in walk-off fashion. Almost immediately members of management went to work to make sure that the ’08 Cannons would be more competitive, challenging for that elusive and much-sought-after A Division crown. Bringing back a core of capable players was the first step (thirteen of the Cannons ’07 roster invitees were locked up to long-term contracts heading into this season). Focusing on team-first free agents was the next step (Connecticut spent millions signing IF Bill Balcerzak, P/OF Tom Clark, P/IF Adam Pallone and P Jack Vanasse and brought back “Father of Cannons Baseball” Andy Borst in an incentive-laden deal as an insurance policy behind the plate). Finding a way to make all the pieces of the puzzle fit was the final step, one that proved to be more difficult in practice than on paper. Injuries played a part as unofficial team captain Tom Luby (back) missed the whole season and Mark Lynch (ankle/foot) played in only two games. “Commitment concerns,” a term coined by members of the media, then reared their ugly heads as Connecticut players averaged just 13.4 games apiece (not a single Cannon played in all twenty games on the season, an A Division first). Yet through it all the team was clearly improved, winning an A Division-best seven games (including four of its last seven) while not falling prey to the catastrophic and spirit-crushing losing streaks that have marred each of the past two campaigns (a five-game skid was the longest of the season and all but one of those games were winnable until the final out was recorded). August brings optimism and often incredible results for the Connecticut Cannons and the frenzied fan base known as Cannon Nation is counting on that being case again this season. Can a sixth- or seventh-seeded Cinderella slide on the glass slipper to secure its first championship since 2005? Leo Dionicio certainly thinks so: “Truth be told, we didn’t have the roster to win it all in 2007. One pitcher wasn’t going to be enough and though [Mike] Patenaude gave us everything he had, he couldn’t carry the load all by himself (the left-hander pitched back-to-back complete games on several Sundays down the stretch last season). With [Tom] Clark and Patenaude—each started eight games for the team in 2008—we now have two pitcher who can go out and shut down an opponent. The top-seeded teams are going to be overconfident against the Cannons in the early rounds. They think playing us will be easy and that is when the true anaconda is going to strike. I guarantee we are going to get to the top again this season. Championship or bust!”
After a half hour delay during which the Hartford Nationals field crew cleaned up after heavy downpours in the pre-dawn hours, game one saw the vastly improved Cannons offense (twenty-five runs in the last three wins) go to immediate work against hard-throwing right-hander Paul “Butterfly Effect” Ehrlich. Mike McGann, looking more comfortable with each passing game as the Cannons lead-off batter, belted a base hit to centerfield and was followed by back-to-back walks for Drew McDowell and Jason Maule. Tom Clark, Connecticut’s leading hitter, helped his own cause as he batted a ball back up the middle that shortstop Anthony “Night Breed” Cacavale could not come up with, scoring two and moving Maule into scoring position. The speedy centerfielder stole third and before the next pitch Clark took off for second. Ehrlich stepped off but threw wildly into the outfield pushing Maule across with the third run of the inning (Clark advanced to third on the miscue but was stranded ninety feet from the plate as Mike Weber struck out, Andy Borst lined to short and Chris “Wacky Iraqi” Barsa grounded out to a diving Jimmy Gonzalez at first: “Story of my season,” Barsa stated as he trotted off the diamond though his teammates seemed to recall different results in his at-bats. Weber responded, “The only part of the story that was the same was the ‘final chapter’ in which Barsa returns to the dugout without a hit.”). Clark was impressive in the early going, facing the minimum number of batters through the first two frames. In the third the Cannons were back at it offensively as McDowell walked with one out, got his now famous walking lead and took off for second (an overthrow allowed him to move to third). Maule hit a sacrifice fly to left field to score McDowell with the second out of the inning but the Cannons were not satisfied as the next three batters—Clark, Weber and Borst—took bases on balls and two scored as Barsa reached on an error at first (Borst would later come across as a pick-off throw sailed into the outfield). In the middle of the third the Cannons had a comfortable 7-0 advantage and it seemed the team would coast to victory. The Nats had other plans in mind and the bottom of the order eventually got to Clark in the home half of the third inning. T.R. “Texas Ranger” Walker led off with a hit and moved into scoring position on a grounder to the hole at first that Barsa played brilliantly into an out (as the grounder left the bat the fleet-footed first baseman was heard saying “Oh, s**t!” all the way in the third base dugout). Dakota Fanning was hit by a pitch and David DeJesus followed with a run-scoring single to put Hartford on the board (DeJesus was then picked off by the potent move of Clark, though the Nationals argued the Cannon pitcher had balked). Eleventh batter John “Issue Number One” McLaughlin had a base hit to score Fanning but Clark got Guy “Sweetest Music This Side of Heaven” Lombardo on a strike out to keep the cushion at five, 7-2. Connecticut was quiet until the sixth when they received another rally courtesy of one-out walks to Adam Pallone and Jack Vanasse and a two-out two-run double to the wall by “Bono” McGann. Lombardo responded with a solo home run to right off of Clark (7 IP, 6 H, 3 ER, 2 K, 2 BB, 1 HBP) but the pitcher was able to make the lead stand up, scattering two hits over the final one and two-thirds innings, earning his first victory in Cannon crimson since May 18 against this same Nationals ball club. Though the Cannons only got three hits against Ehrlich it was fifteen well-earned walks, clutch hits, solid defense and Clark’s pitching that carried the day for Connecticut. “I’m glad we could get a win for Tommy,” Manager Matt Celio said briefly between games. “He’s had a lot of hard fought games that haven’t gone his way since mid-May so it feels good for the team and the pitcher to get this victory.”
Game two saw the Cannons take another early advantage as Dionicio dropped a double down the left field line and Barsa scored the “Gringo From Santo Domingo” with a single and a 1-0 Cannons lead (Dionicio, after being inactive for almost a month, claimed the need to “find [his] mojo” al la Austin Powers though he contradicted himself somewhat, saying “I don’t need many at-bats because I’m The Natural of this team.” He later added that it wouldn’t take long to get back in game shape: “I am a Dominican. The last time I checked I don’t have any Anglo-Saxon DNA in me.” Celio’s retort, “If there are any white girls or guys for that matter on the [University of Hartford] campus for summer classes they better be careful. It won’t take much more than a wayward glance to get some Dominican DNA inside them.”). The Nationals battled back to tie the game in the home half of the second as Cacavale singled off of Patenaude and scored on Will Farrell’s two-out bloop base hit into no man’s land. Connecticut added a run in the third as Pallone led off with triple and was plated on a McGann ground out up the middle to give the Cannons a one-run advantage, 2-1. The Nats took their first lead of the afternoon in the fourth as Gonzalez singled to start the frame. Pinch runner Basilio Ortiz moved to second on a pick-off throw that bounced off of Barsa’s glove and scored on a double by Jose Rosado (who advanced to third on a fly out to center). Patenaude uncorked a wild pitch into the netting behind the plate to allow the go-ahead run to cross the plate before picking Cacavale off after a walk and getting Walker on a ground out to third to the end the inning with Hartford on top by one. After loading the bases—Pallone singled, McGann doubled and Maule was intentionally walked—the Cannons got more two-out magic as Clark promised to make the Nationals pay for pitching to him. The clean-up hitter slammed a first-pitch fastball to left field scoring Pallone easily. Celio waved McGann around in an attempt to reclaim the lead but a strong throw from DeJesus reached the plate in the instant before McGann to end the threat, leaving Connecticut and Hartford deadlocked at three going into the bottom of the fifth. After only three pitches induced a Farrell come-backer and a diving stab to his right by McGann at short, it looked as if the Cannons were going to get a chance to break the tie in the top of the sixth. Then DeJesus doubled to right on a three and two pitch that Dionicio lost in the high sky and McLaughlin followed with a dink-and-dunk base hit to score the go-ahead and eventual game-winning run. In the bottom of the sixth, Tony Letizo laid a perfect bunt down the third base line that was overthrown at first (Dionicio hustled to back up the play holding Letizo to first but in an effort to get the ball back in quickly the second baseman lost his grip and sailed his throw across the artificial turf infield, moving the runner up ninety feet). Lombardo followed with a sacrifice bunt that was played into a single and a balk moved fifth run of the day across against Patenaude (6 IP, 11 H, 7 R, 6 ER, 2 K, 1 BB, 1 HBP). A double by Ortiz scored Lombardo and after a stolen base the former Orioles farmhand scored on a sacrifice fly to center to push the Nats lead to four, 7-3. Pallone was hit by a pitch to start the seventh but Weber (pinch hitting for a physically exhausted Mancini, the Hartford firefighter who had come off a double shift to attend the games) popped out to center, McGann followed with a fly ball to left and after a McDowell single Maule grounded to his good friend Lombardo to end the game. Celio’s post-game press conference was peppered with positives as the playoffs approach: “Over the past few weekends we showed the world what kind of team we can be when we are at or near full strength: good pitching, solid defense and clutch hits will undoubtedly follow. Solid contributions from everybody out there today—a few “cheapies” got Hartford game two—and that is what has made us successful in the past and will be the key to our immediate future. It hasn’t shown quite as much as we would like in the wins column but we have been playing with a high level of consistency in the second half of the season and that confidence has been the trademark of Cannons Baseball, especially at this time of year. I’m excited about our prospects in the upcoming playoffs. I know I wouldn’t want to face us in an elimination game.”
August is just a few short days away and with it the Connecticut North Men’s Senior Baseball League postseason tournament (Saturday and Sunday, August 9 and 10 and Saturday and Sunday, August 16 and 17…if necessary). Have the Connecticut Cannons assembled the necessary firepower to compete for and ultimately capture the CNMSBL Championship in 2008? The citizens of Cannon Nation and the other CNMSBL enclaves wait, watch and wonder with bated breath. To paraphrase the Grateful Dead, the 2008 season has been a long, strange trip, one that ain't over yet. It has been said that the journey to one’s final destination is half the fun. It goes without saying that the other half of the fun is what one does when arriving at one’s final destination. The Cannons have worked hard and had fun along the way but now is the time for the lit fuse to finally ignite the gunpowder, as the team explodes against any and all A Division foes faced in the ’08 postseason. Connecticut has plenty of firepower. Limited tickets for the first and second games on what sports fans call CNMSBL Super Saturday are available at 1 800 CANNONS or on-line at ctcannons.blogspot.com. Ready! AIM! FIRE! Let the hunt for RED August begin once again.
Cannons News and Notes: Connecticut finished 5-7 in conference and 2-5 outside the division this season; the Cannons offense finished with a .295 team batting average, twenty-one points better than the previous A Division-best of .274 at the end of the ’07 season; forty extra base hits is an team record since making the move to the upper level; with a three for five performance on Sunday, Clark won the batting crown (.444) beating out Maule (.419)…Clark also led the team in hits (20), doubles (5), walks (11) and on-base percentage (.554); Maule was the Cannons’ leader in runs batted in (11), slugging percentage (.698), on-base + slugging percentage (1.198) and fewest strike outs (2 in forty-three at-bats) while tying for the team lead in triples (1 with Dionicio, McGann and Pallone) and homers (2 with Balcerzak); McDowell was tops for Connecticut with 52 at-bats and 13 runs scored; with four walks this season Borst (73) regained sole possession of this category as Connecticut’s lifetime leader (Celio is second with 71); McGann’s game one double was the three hundredth career extra base hit for the Cannons; original Cannons Weber (368), Celio (332) and Borst (299) have nine hundred ninety-nine at bats among them; in three seasons, Maule has averaged just one strike out every twenty-eight at-bats (5 in 140 ABs)…Connecticut’s centerfielder leads ten of thirteen offensive categories in A Division play (Clark qualified with the top batting average and on-base percentage while former Cannon Mike Calabrese had the fewest strike outs with just four); Clark led all Cannons pitchers in strike outs (25), batting average against (.240) and earned run average (3.28); Patenaude led the throwers in appearances (10), innings pitched (58.2), wins (4) and walks + hits per innings pitched (1.69); among qualifiers, Kevin Quinn surrendered the fewest hits (16), runs (23), earned runs (16), walks (21) and losses (2); Patenaude has eight of the team’s seventeen A Division victories; two hits in the season finale, Pallone raised his rookie season average to .226 meaning he will be able to participate in the postseason rather than leaving for his honeymoon; Celio, McGann and Weber attended Irish-Fest ’08 on Friday evening in Glastonbury, taking in a concert by U2 cover band The Unforgettable Fire—a large Irish flag was waved during “Sunday Bloody Sunday” leaving McGann wanting more: “I want these guys to play my wedding.” Will he be tying the knot with a girl or a guy?—and running into ’05 Fan of the Year and former McGann girlfriend Marybeth Smiley (Celio and Weber actually spoke to Smiley while McGann ran for the cover of his many male admirers, further fueling speculation on “McGann is gay” rumors that have been reported in many supermarket tabloids…McGann promises to contact Smiley if Celio can get her contact information…McGann’s black Guinness t-shirt and matching black shorts were repeatedly referred to as “Garanimals” by super agent John DeMorais…the lead-off hitter claims he will never wear the combination again); Borst went out into Sunday morning’s super-storm, claiming he often does so: “I feel the power of the storm and it’s how I want to go, returned to nature after being blown to a million bits. If that’s what God has in store for me and it’s the way I’m supposed to go then I don’t want to miss it.”; Dionicio detailed his affinity for The WB’s Emmy Award-winning Pinky and the Brain, going so far as to say he set his college schedule around the Steven Spielberg-produced cartoon about genetically-enhanced laboratory mice…the show’s famous tagline: Pinky-“Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?”; The Brain-“The same thing we try to do every night, Pinky—try to take over the world.”; Dionicio, discussing the flatness of Celio’s derrière on his otherwise round body said, “You’re losing it coach. You’ve got a white-girl’s a*s now.”; “Michael Scott” Barsa likes to take first dates to Chili’s…on one memorable occasion he ran into ESPN’s Peter Gammons, leaving the future ex-Mrs. Barsa behind with her Bottomless Tostada Chips; Lombardo was Maule’s college roommate and teammate at Central Connecticut State University; Hartford’s Gonzalez, a former Mets Minor Leaguer and neighbor of “Mr. August” Tom Bogiatzis, came close to signing with Connecticut prior to the 2005 campaign but opted for an A Division offer instead (the Cannons would go on to win the ’05 B Division Championship and would make the move to the upper level the following season); Bogiatzis recently contacted Cannons World Headquarters with his annual State of the Cannons call; former Cannon standout Kevin McGann was in attendance at the University of Hartford; ballots for the 2008 Cannons Awards were issued to voters on Sunday (11:59 p.m)… polls are currently open—three full ballots have already been cast—and will remain so until 11:59 p.m. on Friday, August 1.
Cannons Split Season Series with Nats, Await Sunday’s Results for Playoff Pairings
West Hartford, CT (AP)—The traditional CNMSBL season opener falls on the final weekend of April as expectations in towns around the league are finally acted out on the field of play. In Newington the 2008 season began as soon as the Marlborough Athletics final run crossed the plate, knocking the Connecticut Cannons from championship contention on August 11, 2007 in walk-off fashion. Almost immediately members of management went to work to make sure that the ’08 Cannons would be more competitive, challenging for that elusive and much-sought-after A Division crown. Bringing back a core of capable players was the first step (thirteen of the Cannons ’07 roster invitees were locked up to long-term contracts heading into this season). Focusing on team-first free agents was the next step (Connecticut spent millions signing IF Bill Balcerzak, P/OF Tom Clark, P/IF Adam Pallone and P Jack Vanasse and brought back “Father of Cannons Baseball” Andy Borst in an incentive-laden deal as an insurance policy behind the plate). Finding a way to make all the pieces of the puzzle fit was the final step, one that proved to be more difficult in practice than on paper. Injuries played a part as unofficial team captain Tom Luby (back) missed the whole season and Mark Lynch (ankle/foot) played in only two games. “Commitment concerns,” a term coined by members of the media, then reared their ugly heads as Connecticut players averaged just 13.4 games apiece (not a single Cannon played in all twenty games on the season, an A Division first). Yet through it all the team was clearly improved, winning an A Division-best seven games (including four of its last seven) while not falling prey to the catastrophic and spirit-crushing losing streaks that have marred each of the past two campaigns (a five-game skid was the longest of the season and all but one of those games were winnable until the final out was recorded). August brings optimism and often incredible results for the Connecticut Cannons and the frenzied fan base known as Cannon Nation is counting on that being case again this season. Can a sixth- or seventh-seeded Cinderella slide on the glass slipper to secure its first championship since 2005? Leo Dionicio certainly thinks so: “Truth be told, we didn’t have the roster to win it all in 2007. One pitcher wasn’t going to be enough and though [Mike] Patenaude gave us everything he had, he couldn’t carry the load all by himself (the left-hander pitched back-to-back complete games on several Sundays down the stretch last season). With [Tom] Clark and Patenaude—each started eight games for the team in 2008—we now have two pitcher who can go out and shut down an opponent. The top-seeded teams are going to be overconfident against the Cannons in the early rounds. They think playing us will be easy and that is when the true anaconda is going to strike. I guarantee we are going to get to the top again this season. Championship or bust!”
After a half hour delay during which the Hartford Nationals field crew cleaned up after heavy downpours in the pre-dawn hours, game one saw the vastly improved Cannons offense (twenty-five runs in the last three wins) go to immediate work against hard-throwing right-hander Paul “Butterfly Effect” Ehrlich. Mike McGann, looking more comfortable with each passing game as the Cannons lead-off batter, belted a base hit to centerfield and was followed by back-to-back walks for Drew McDowell and Jason Maule. Tom Clark, Connecticut’s leading hitter, helped his own cause as he batted a ball back up the middle that shortstop Anthony “Night Breed” Cacavale could not come up with, scoring two and moving Maule into scoring position. The speedy centerfielder stole third and before the next pitch Clark took off for second. Ehrlich stepped off but threw wildly into the outfield pushing Maule across with the third run of the inning (Clark advanced to third on the miscue but was stranded ninety feet from the plate as Mike Weber struck out, Andy Borst lined to short and Chris “Wacky Iraqi” Barsa grounded out to a diving Jimmy Gonzalez at first: “Story of my season,” Barsa stated as he trotted off the diamond though his teammates seemed to recall different results in his at-bats. Weber responded, “The only part of the story that was the same was the ‘final chapter’ in which Barsa returns to the dugout without a hit.”). Clark was impressive in the early going, facing the minimum number of batters through the first two frames. In the third the Cannons were back at it offensively as McDowell walked with one out, got his now famous walking lead and took off for second (an overthrow allowed him to move to third). Maule hit a sacrifice fly to left field to score McDowell with the second out of the inning but the Cannons were not satisfied as the next three batters—Clark, Weber and Borst—took bases on balls and two scored as Barsa reached on an error at first (Borst would later come across as a pick-off throw sailed into the outfield). In the middle of the third the Cannons had a comfortable 7-0 advantage and it seemed the team would coast to victory. The Nats had other plans in mind and the bottom of the order eventually got to Clark in the home half of the third inning. T.R. “Texas Ranger” Walker led off with a hit and moved into scoring position on a grounder to the hole at first that Barsa played brilliantly into an out (as the grounder left the bat the fleet-footed first baseman was heard saying “Oh, s**t!” all the way in the third base dugout). Dakota Fanning was hit by a pitch and David DeJesus followed with a run-scoring single to put Hartford on the board (DeJesus was then picked off by the potent move of Clark, though the Nationals argued the Cannon pitcher had balked). Eleventh batter John “Issue Number One” McLaughlin had a base hit to score Fanning but Clark got Guy “Sweetest Music This Side of Heaven” Lombardo on a strike out to keep the cushion at five, 7-2. Connecticut was quiet until the sixth when they received another rally courtesy of one-out walks to Adam Pallone and Jack Vanasse and a two-out two-run double to the wall by “Bono” McGann. Lombardo responded with a solo home run to right off of Clark (7 IP, 6 H, 3 ER, 2 K, 2 BB, 1 HBP) but the pitcher was able to make the lead stand up, scattering two hits over the final one and two-thirds innings, earning his first victory in Cannon crimson since May 18 against this same Nationals ball club. Though the Cannons only got three hits against Ehrlich it was fifteen well-earned walks, clutch hits, solid defense and Clark’s pitching that carried the day for Connecticut. “I’m glad we could get a win for Tommy,” Manager Matt Celio said briefly between games. “He’s had a lot of hard fought games that haven’t gone his way since mid-May so it feels good for the team and the pitcher to get this victory.”
Game two saw the Cannons take another early advantage as Dionicio dropped a double down the left field line and Barsa scored the “Gringo From Santo Domingo” with a single and a 1-0 Cannons lead (Dionicio, after being inactive for almost a month, claimed the need to “find [his] mojo” al la Austin Powers though he contradicted himself somewhat, saying “I don’t need many at-bats because I’m The Natural of this team.” He later added that it wouldn’t take long to get back in game shape: “I am a Dominican. The last time I checked I don’t have any Anglo-Saxon DNA in me.” Celio’s retort, “If there are any white girls or guys for that matter on the [University of Hartford] campus for summer classes they better be careful. It won’t take much more than a wayward glance to get some Dominican DNA inside them.”). The Nationals battled back to tie the game in the home half of the second as Cacavale singled off of Patenaude and scored on Will Farrell’s two-out bloop base hit into no man’s land. Connecticut added a run in the third as Pallone led off with triple and was plated on a McGann ground out up the middle to give the Cannons a one-run advantage, 2-1. The Nats took their first lead of the afternoon in the fourth as Gonzalez singled to start the frame. Pinch runner Basilio Ortiz moved to second on a pick-off throw that bounced off of Barsa’s glove and scored on a double by Jose Rosado (who advanced to third on a fly out to center). Patenaude uncorked a wild pitch into the netting behind the plate to allow the go-ahead run to cross the plate before picking Cacavale off after a walk and getting Walker on a ground out to third to the end the inning with Hartford on top by one. After loading the bases—Pallone singled, McGann doubled and Maule was intentionally walked—the Cannons got more two-out magic as Clark promised to make the Nationals pay for pitching to him. The clean-up hitter slammed a first-pitch fastball to left field scoring Pallone easily. Celio waved McGann around in an attempt to reclaim the lead but a strong throw from DeJesus reached the plate in the instant before McGann to end the threat, leaving Connecticut and Hartford deadlocked at three going into the bottom of the fifth. After only three pitches induced a Farrell come-backer and a diving stab to his right by McGann at short, it looked as if the Cannons were going to get a chance to break the tie in the top of the sixth. Then DeJesus doubled to right on a three and two pitch that Dionicio lost in the high sky and McLaughlin followed with a dink-and-dunk base hit to score the go-ahead and eventual game-winning run. In the bottom of the sixth, Tony Letizo laid a perfect bunt down the third base line that was overthrown at first (Dionicio hustled to back up the play holding Letizo to first but in an effort to get the ball back in quickly the second baseman lost his grip and sailed his throw across the artificial turf infield, moving the runner up ninety feet). Lombardo followed with a sacrifice bunt that was played into a single and a balk moved fifth run of the day across against Patenaude (6 IP, 11 H, 7 R, 6 ER, 2 K, 1 BB, 1 HBP). A double by Ortiz scored Lombardo and after a stolen base the former Orioles farmhand scored on a sacrifice fly to center to push the Nats lead to four, 7-3. Pallone was hit by a pitch to start the seventh but Weber (pinch hitting for a physically exhausted Mancini, the Hartford firefighter who had come off a double shift to attend the games) popped out to center, McGann followed with a fly ball to left and after a McDowell single Maule grounded to his good friend Lombardo to end the game. Celio’s post-game press conference was peppered with positives as the playoffs approach: “Over the past few weekends we showed the world what kind of team we can be when we are at or near full strength: good pitching, solid defense and clutch hits will undoubtedly follow. Solid contributions from everybody out there today—a few “cheapies” got Hartford game two—and that is what has made us successful in the past and will be the key to our immediate future. It hasn’t shown quite as much as we would like in the wins column but we have been playing with a high level of consistency in the second half of the season and that confidence has been the trademark of Cannons Baseball, especially at this time of year. I’m excited about our prospects in the upcoming playoffs. I know I wouldn’t want to face us in an elimination game.”
August is just a few short days away and with it the Connecticut North Men’s Senior Baseball League postseason tournament (Saturday and Sunday, August 9 and 10 and Saturday and Sunday, August 16 and 17…if necessary). Have the Connecticut Cannons assembled the necessary firepower to compete for and ultimately capture the CNMSBL Championship in 2008? The citizens of Cannon Nation and the other CNMSBL enclaves wait, watch and wonder with bated breath. To paraphrase the Grateful Dead, the 2008 season has been a long, strange trip, one that ain't over yet. It has been said that the journey to one’s final destination is half the fun. It goes without saying that the other half of the fun is what one does when arriving at one’s final destination. The Cannons have worked hard and had fun along the way but now is the time for the lit fuse to finally ignite the gunpowder, as the team explodes against any and all A Division foes faced in the ’08 postseason. Connecticut has plenty of firepower. Limited tickets for the first and second games on what sports fans call CNMSBL Super Saturday are available at 1 800 CANNONS or on-line at ctcannons.blogspot.com. Ready! AIM! FIRE! Let the hunt for RED August begin once again.
Cannons News and Notes: Connecticut finished 5-7 in conference and 2-5 outside the division this season; the Cannons offense finished with a .295 team batting average, twenty-one points better than the previous A Division-best of .274 at the end of the ’07 season; forty extra base hits is an team record since making the move to the upper level; with a three for five performance on Sunday, Clark won the batting crown (.444) beating out Maule (.419)…Clark also led the team in hits (20), doubles (5), walks (11) and on-base percentage (.554); Maule was the Cannons’ leader in runs batted in (11), slugging percentage (.698), on-base + slugging percentage (1.198) and fewest strike outs (2 in forty-three at-bats) while tying for the team lead in triples (1 with Dionicio, McGann and Pallone) and homers (2 with Balcerzak); McDowell was tops for Connecticut with 52 at-bats and 13 runs scored; with four walks this season Borst (73) regained sole possession of this category as Connecticut’s lifetime leader (Celio is second with 71); McGann’s game one double was the three hundredth career extra base hit for the Cannons; original Cannons Weber (368), Celio (332) and Borst (299) have nine hundred ninety-nine at bats among them; in three seasons, Maule has averaged just one strike out every twenty-eight at-bats (5 in 140 ABs)…Connecticut’s centerfielder leads ten of thirteen offensive categories in A Division play (Clark qualified with the top batting average and on-base percentage while former Cannon Mike Calabrese had the fewest strike outs with just four); Clark led all Cannons pitchers in strike outs (25), batting average against (.240) and earned run average (3.28); Patenaude led the throwers in appearances (10), innings pitched (58.2), wins (4) and walks + hits per innings pitched (1.69); among qualifiers, Kevin Quinn surrendered the fewest hits (16), runs (23), earned runs (16), walks (21) and losses (2); Patenaude has eight of the team’s seventeen A Division victories; two hits in the season finale, Pallone raised his rookie season average to .226 meaning he will be able to participate in the postseason rather than leaving for his honeymoon; Celio, McGann and Weber attended Irish-Fest ’08 on Friday evening in Glastonbury, taking in a concert by U2 cover band The Unforgettable Fire—a large Irish flag was waved during “Sunday Bloody Sunday” leaving McGann wanting more: “I want these guys to play my wedding.” Will he be tying the knot with a girl or a guy?—and running into ’05 Fan of the Year and former McGann girlfriend Marybeth Smiley (Celio and Weber actually spoke to Smiley while McGann ran for the cover of his many male admirers, further fueling speculation on “McGann is gay” rumors that have been reported in many supermarket tabloids…McGann promises to contact Smiley if Celio can get her contact information…McGann’s black Guinness t-shirt and matching black shorts were repeatedly referred to as “Garanimals” by super agent John DeMorais…the lead-off hitter claims he will never wear the combination again); Borst went out into Sunday morning’s super-storm, claiming he often does so: “I feel the power of the storm and it’s how I want to go, returned to nature after being blown to a million bits. If that’s what God has in store for me and it’s the way I’m supposed to go then I don’t want to miss it.”; Dionicio detailed his affinity for The WB’s Emmy Award-winning Pinky and the Brain, going so far as to say he set his college schedule around the Steven Spielberg-produced cartoon about genetically-enhanced laboratory mice…the show’s famous tagline: Pinky-“Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?”; The Brain-“The same thing we try to do every night, Pinky—try to take over the world.”; Dionicio, discussing the flatness of Celio’s derrière on his otherwise round body said, “You’re losing it coach. You’ve got a white-girl’s a*s now.”; “Michael Scott” Barsa likes to take first dates to Chili’s…on one memorable occasion he ran into ESPN’s Peter Gammons, leaving the future ex-Mrs. Barsa behind with her Bottomless Tostada Chips; Lombardo was Maule’s college roommate and teammate at Central Connecticut State University; Hartford’s Gonzalez, a former Mets Minor Leaguer and neighbor of “Mr. August” Tom Bogiatzis, came close to signing with Connecticut prior to the 2005 campaign but opted for an A Division offer instead (the Cannons would go on to win the ’05 B Division Championship and would make the move to the upper level the following season); Bogiatzis recently contacted Cannons World Headquarters with his annual State of the Cannons call; former Cannon standout Kevin McGann was in attendance at the University of Hartford; ballots for the 2008 Cannons Awards were issued to voters on Sunday (11:59 p.m)… polls are currently open—three full ballots have already been cast—and will remain so until 11:59 p.m. on Friday, August 1.
Monday, July 21, 2008
WIN Y THE POO
Cannons Crap the Proverbial Bed Then Close Out Cubs Via Mercy Rule
Mansfield, CT (AP)—Winnie the Pooh is the fictional bear created by author A.A. Milne in 1926. During World War I, English troops were being transported from western Canada—Winnipeg, Manitoba in this instance—to the front in Europe. On his way to the Atlantic, Lieutenant Harry Colebourn bought a black bear from a hunter and named her after his hometown (“Winnipeg” or “Winnie” for short). The bear became mascot of Colebourn’s Brigade and made the trip to Britain with the unit. When the Brigade was eventually posted to the battlefields of France, Winnie was presented to the London Zoo where she became a popular draw, particularly with Milne’s son, Christopher Robin, who named his own stuffed bear Winnie in honor of the ursine attraction (Milne, inspired by his son’s collection of stuffed animals which included Eeyore, Piglet, Tigger, Kanga and Roo, wrote a series of books about the adventures of the bear, Christopher Robin and their friends in the 100-Acre-Wood). One of Milne’s more famous quotes is, “It’s so much more friendly with two,” and the Connecticut Cannons couldn’t agree more, though taking two this season has proven to be more of a “bother” than anyone would have expected entering 2008 (the team has only one Sunday sweep with a pair of wins against the cross town rival Capitals on June 8). In fact, at times it has seemed as if “a little black raincloud” has hovered over Cannon Nation keeping Connecticut from accomplishing all it has aspired to this campaign. The postseason is quickly approaching and the Cannons’ players and frenzied fan base have a title “rumbly in [their collective] tumbly” and an A Division championship is the only thing to satiate this hardball hunger. Sunday’s twin bill against the Cubs at the Eastern Connecticut State University Outdoor Athletic Complex defined the dichotomy that has been the ’08 Cannons: the much-mentioned commitment concerns forcing management into difficult game one decisions compounded with a slow offensive start (the “poo”) starkly contrasted with a near-complete roster competing at the highest level in all facets of the game in the team’s three-year A Division history (the “win”). “I think everybody—our fans, the Cubs, the CNMSBL as a whole and, most importantly, the Cannons—got a look at what we can be when we have enough pieces to play around with,” said Manager Matt Celio in his post-game press conference. “Mike [Patenaude] was brilliant in eleven innings on the mound today and our offense was dangerous from top to bottom in game two (even without Leo Dionicio, Steve Markie and Drew McDowell, all of whom are expected back for next weekend’s regular season finale at the University of Hartford against the Nationals). Multi-hit games from [Mike] McGann, [Bill] Balcerzak, [Jason] Maule, [Tom] Clark and [Andy] Borst and every starter contributing with at least one hit and one run (six of nine players also plated a runner) means there wasn’t an easy out in the line-up. This is what we can be and this is the output we anticipated when we put together the roster in the off-season. The regular season is important but it won’t matter much if we put everything together and play like the team we are capable of being over the next month or so. I know I wouldn’t want to play the Cannons in an elimination game if I was an opposing ball club.”
Scheduled game one starter Tom Clark, after a sleepless Saturday evening spent tossing and turning, cited “burn out” and a desire to take a Sunday to “regroup” before the playoffs in an e-mail issued to management at Cannons World Headquarters (there was also significant confusion since the CNMSBL website listed the games as canceled...Clark eventually arrived in the middle of the first contest and was used as an extra hitter in the seventh inning). Adam Pallone, the consummate Cannons teammate always willing to play where the team needs him most, answered the bell as he was called upon to eat up valuable innings as a bridge to Patenaude on this hot, humid day. Unfortunately Connecticut’s junior-most member did not have his best stuff (which the team was fortunate enough to witness in his only other start of the season against the Newington Capitals) and the Cubs were able to push five first inning runs across against the twenty-seven year old right-hander. Rouge Moulin led off with a walk and after a fly ball to Patenaude in right four straight Cubs reached safely against Pallone (1 IP, 3 H, 5 ER, 3 BB, 1 K) as Mike Kakalow singled, Bobby Meaker walked, Paul Verboven had an RBI base hit and Van Wilder dropped a run-scoring dinker between Patenaude and Weber in short right field. The young Maryland product got Scrubs Noheimer to ground out to McGann at third plating another run and then allowed the only hard hit of his outing, a two-run line drive down the left field line by Eddie Murphy, to give Kakalow and the Cubbies a comfortable five-run cushion. “It was hit or miss with Adam today,” stated catcher Kevin Quinn outside the visitor’s locker room. “He didn’t have his best stuff and his location was a bit off allowing the Cubs to sit back on fast balls. Those guys didn’t hit him particularly hard but they were able to do just enough to give themselves a lead and they never looked back.” Kak ran into little resistance from the Cannons offense as he scattered five hits over seven innings (two apiece from Celio and Quinn and one from Chris Barsa). The Cannons put runners in scoring position in the second, fourth, fifth and sixth but squandered opportunities at each turn to come away empty handed for the fourth time this season. Patenaude (5 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K) pitched near-perfect baseball in fifty-six pitches of economical relief but it was not nearly enough as the Cannons fizzled to the 5-0 defeat.
Game two saw Patenaude re-position himself on his familiar perch atop the mound and though less dominating as would be expected as his pitch count approached and then topped the century mark the senior-most Cannon battled as he “scattered” nine hits over five frames (six in the first two innings where he incredibly allowed just one run). Offense, defense and pitching were on full display in the second game for the Cannons as the Big Guns went to immediate work against Kakalow (another pitcher trying to perfect Patenaude’s multi-game art but only paling in comparison). Balcerzak, Maule and Clark, playing together for the first time in more than two months (May 18, not coincidentally in a win against the Nats at New Cannon Yards), singled in consecutive at-bats with Clark pushing Balcerzak across with the go-ahead run and the initial chink in Kak’s armor on the day. Patenaude surrendered his only run of the double dip in the home half of the first as Dane Cook singled and scored on Murphy’s two out hit to center (Maule came up throwing and nailed Meaker as he tried to make his way to third to put an end to the threat). The Cannons bounced back for a run in the second as Pallone doubled and scored what would turn out to be the game-winning run as McGann dropped an important two-out pop fly into right field after Borst had been picked off at first. Patenaude allowed three straight singles to Wilder, Noheimer and Royce Bentley to start the second but a strong throw from the outfield kept the sacks jacked instead of surrendering a score and the fifty-two year old left-hander went to work to keep the Cannons on top. After tantalizing Bill Lageman with two perfectly executed pitches the Eastern Assistant Manager grounded a nubber right in front of home that Quinn pounced on, dragging his toe across the dish and firing to first to complete the 2-U-3 double play. Moulin followed with a come-backer that Patenaude fielded and flipped to first for the final out of the frame and the Cannons would make quick work of Kakalow in his ninth and final inning on the mound. Maule singled sharply and stole second to put a runner in scoring position with nobody out. After Clark went down swinging, Quinn hit a hot shot to third that Meaker airmailed over Lageman at first scoring the speedy Maule and moving another Cannon safely into second. Mike “Teutonic Ideal” Weber singled to left as Quinn came around with the third run and after a Pallone strike out Borst beat out an infield hit to the hole between short and third to keep the inning alive. Barsa singled scoring Weber and McGann hit a two-run triple—the first of his Cannons career—to push the lead to 7-1. Patenaude allowed two runners to reach with two down in the third but Wilder’s ground out to Barsa at first ended the inning and Connecticut’s offense went right back to business against Eastern’s reliever Cook. Maule led off the fourth with his third straight single, Clark followed with a base hit and Quinn knocked in Maule for a seven-run advantage. Weber chipped in with a sacrifice fly to left that scored Clark and the Cannons could sense an A Division first within striking distance. Patenaude allowed a lead-off double to center in the bottom of the inning that Noheimer foolishly tried to stretch into a triple but he was unceremoniously cut down on another amazing laser from Maule ending any thoughts the Cubs might have about making a run. After two quick outs the top of the Cannons line-up once again got down to brass tacks as McGann and Balcerzak singled and Maule drove them home with a double to left just out of reach of a diving Bentley. 11-1 Cannons and Patenaude (5 IP, 1 ER, 9 H, 0 BB, 4 K) toyed with the top of the Cubs order in the fifth, striking out Moulin and Cook before getting Kakalow on a lazy pop fly to center to end the ball game giving Connecticut its first-ever mercy rule victory in A Division play. Assistant Manager Mike Weber was extremely pleased with his team’s game two performance: “I’ve had the pleasure of playing baseball with Mike Patenaude for eight seasons and in that time we’ve witnessed many great things from him from All-Star appearances to championship clinchers but I can say with certainty I’ve never seen the guy have as much fun as he had on the field today. It seemed like he was in total control regardless of the situation and when you combine that dominance with the defense we played behind him along with the offensive production you can see why we would be a scary match-up for any of the teams in our league in the upcoming playoffs. We finally have two top flight pitchers [Patenaude and Clark] plus proven players we can bring in from the bullpen. We’re not consistent enough yet for my liking and I don’t want to jinx us in any way but if we play the way we’re capable of there’s not a team we can’t beat out there on a postseason Saturday or Sunday.” Celio didn’t seem too worried about a Cannons Curse and he didn’t mince words in his live radio program (WPOP, ESPN Radio 1410 a.m.) from West Wings Bar and Grill—forty-two beers on draft and eighteen flavors of wings, several of which the Cannons sampled as they celebrated the victory—in Hartford: “I’ve guaranteed game two victories the past two Sundays and our guys have come through. Now I’m guaranteeing a Connecticut Cannons Championship in 2008. Post that on all of your bulletin boards CNMSBL A Division!”
Pooh-ya Cannon Nation! Some quotes from the terrific tome Pooh’s Little Instruction Book: “Before beginning a hunt, it is wise to ask someone what you are looking for before you begin looking for it.” “To the uneducated an A is just three sticks.” And finally, “Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.” The Connecticut Cannons are clearly in the title hunt, knowing full well what they are looking for and what is at stake at this time of the season. An “A” Division title is not simply three sticks placed together but something of much greater value to the citizenry of the highest “caliber” country. Though there’s little rush and undoubtedly the Cannons will get there some day, playing with a sense of urgency is not such a terrible thing. Is there anything wrong with winning a Championship right here and right now? Certainly not and the “bears of little brain” found out on Sunday exactly what they and the rest of the league are up against when the real Connecticut Cannons come to play. Professional prognosticators and parlor room pundits agree that the CNMSBL A Division is an open book at present. The Cannons are looking to add a chapter to their glorious history, the perfect bookend to the B Division Championship of 2005. Hopefully there is more “win” than “poo” in the team’s immediate future. Tickets for the July 27 match-up against the Nationals (incredibly listed at 5-5 at press time!) are available at 1 800 CANNONS or on-line at ctcannons.blogspot.net.
Cannons News and Notes: Patenaude lowered his ERA to 2.95 and evened his record at 4-4 on the year); Pallone’s ERA ballooned from 0.00 to 8.75 (he allowed just two unearned runs in his three-inning performance against Newington); Borst has played in seventeen of the team’s eighteen contests this season (missing only game two on Opening Weekend at Winsted), good for the team lead; Maule leads the team with eleven runs batted in and now has thirty-three total since joining the Cannons in 2006 (also tops on the club); Clark had the five-hundredth at-bat of the season for Connecticut…his fourth inning game two hit was the team’s 151st of the campaign, the most ever in A Division play (2006: 130; 2007: 150)…Clark will wed his long-time girlfriend in October and the two are expecting a child in early 2009…internet dating pioneer “William” Clark—a Lewis and Clark reference—claimed to be part of several Shallow Hal moments including a dangerous dildo debacle and the time when he told a partner, “If you lost one hundred pounds you could be hot”…he promises this wasn’t offensive to the young woman because he was “sincere”…Mancini responded saying “fat chicks can be fun”; “Favre” Mancini announced plans to retire—again!—if he goes 0 for ’08 (currently “Blue Fire” is in an 0 for 13 slump in limited action to start the season)…Mancini approached the plate sans helmet in the third inning of game one saying, “I need to shed the weight…I can’t afford the extra ounces”…Mancer lamented the low pressure saying repeatedly “That ball is outta here on a high pressure day” (former Marlin Joe Furey could not be reached for comment)…when asked if he would be going to California to fight wildfires, the Hartford fireman responded abruptly: “F**k that!”; Pallone’s double was the thirty-fourth extra base hit of the campaign, eclipsing the mark of thirty-three set last season (McGann added a triple and Maule a double to push the team total to thirty-six with two to play); McGann and Pallone, Chicago Cubs fans, said it would be “hard to root against the Cubbies”; Pallone became the fourteenth member of the Cannons to earn his playoff eligibility this season (Mancini [1] and Markie [2] can still make the playoff roster by participating in the team’s final regular season contests); after eighteen games the Cannons’ team batting average stands exactly at .300 (156 for 520); ten of the sixteen players with more than ten at-bats have at least ten hits (Balcerzak, Borst, Celio, Clark, Dionicio, Maule, McDowell, McGann, Quinn and Weber); McDowell and Quinn are tied for the team lead with forty-eight at-bats; the one hundred twenty strike outs are the most ever by a Cannons ball club; “Big Aristotle” Borst philosophized: “The Cannons are coming together, ‘cause if we’re not we’re coming apart”…think about it; McGann missed McDowell, saying he “likes Drew behind him” further fueling “McGann is gay” rumors (“Big Mac” or “Bono” as he is also known claims the facts that he has “no money and a green car” are the real reasons he is currently single); Weird Science: one hundred percent of McDowell’s 1989 Hall High School classmates agree that his mother, Becky, who attended last Sunday’s games against Winsted, is hot (McGann prefers his father, George); Connecticut tied a regular season A Division record by earning its sixth victory…the club can become the all-time wins leader by beating the Nats this Sunday; ballots for the 2008 Cannons Awards will be issued to players on Monday, July 28 (if the final mandatory rain date is not required…if necessary the ballots will be issued on Monday, August 4); the CNMSBL postseason is scheduled for August 9, 10, 16 and 17 (sites to be determined though the Newington fields have been used in past seasons and have been requested again in 2008); former Cannon Craig Perrier is 7 for his last 9 for the Boston Braves (.471 on 8 for 17 overall this season)…still bitter about his release, the former first baseman turned outfielder/pitcher thanks the Cannons for his “minor league experience” now that he has locked on with the “big city Braves” (8-5).
Cannons Crap the Proverbial Bed Then Close Out Cubs Via Mercy Rule
Mansfield, CT (AP)—Winnie the Pooh is the fictional bear created by author A.A. Milne in 1926. During World War I, English troops were being transported from western Canada—Winnipeg, Manitoba in this instance—to the front in Europe. On his way to the Atlantic, Lieutenant Harry Colebourn bought a black bear from a hunter and named her after his hometown (“Winnipeg” or “Winnie” for short). The bear became mascot of Colebourn’s Brigade and made the trip to Britain with the unit. When the Brigade was eventually posted to the battlefields of France, Winnie was presented to the London Zoo where she became a popular draw, particularly with Milne’s son, Christopher Robin, who named his own stuffed bear Winnie in honor of the ursine attraction (Milne, inspired by his son’s collection of stuffed animals which included Eeyore, Piglet, Tigger, Kanga and Roo, wrote a series of books about the adventures of the bear, Christopher Robin and their friends in the 100-Acre-Wood). One of Milne’s more famous quotes is, “It’s so much more friendly with two,” and the Connecticut Cannons couldn’t agree more, though taking two this season has proven to be more of a “bother” than anyone would have expected entering 2008 (the team has only one Sunday sweep with a pair of wins against the cross town rival Capitals on June 8). In fact, at times it has seemed as if “a little black raincloud” has hovered over Cannon Nation keeping Connecticut from accomplishing all it has aspired to this campaign. The postseason is quickly approaching and the Cannons’ players and frenzied fan base have a title “rumbly in [their collective] tumbly” and an A Division championship is the only thing to satiate this hardball hunger. Sunday’s twin bill against the Cubs at the Eastern Connecticut State University Outdoor Athletic Complex defined the dichotomy that has been the ’08 Cannons: the much-mentioned commitment concerns forcing management into difficult game one decisions compounded with a slow offensive start (the “poo”) starkly contrasted with a near-complete roster competing at the highest level in all facets of the game in the team’s three-year A Division history (the “win”). “I think everybody—our fans, the Cubs, the CNMSBL as a whole and, most importantly, the Cannons—got a look at what we can be when we have enough pieces to play around with,” said Manager Matt Celio in his post-game press conference. “Mike [Patenaude] was brilliant in eleven innings on the mound today and our offense was dangerous from top to bottom in game two (even without Leo Dionicio, Steve Markie and Drew McDowell, all of whom are expected back for next weekend’s regular season finale at the University of Hartford against the Nationals). Multi-hit games from [Mike] McGann, [Bill] Balcerzak, [Jason] Maule, [Tom] Clark and [Andy] Borst and every starter contributing with at least one hit and one run (six of nine players also plated a runner) means there wasn’t an easy out in the line-up. This is what we can be and this is the output we anticipated when we put together the roster in the off-season. The regular season is important but it won’t matter much if we put everything together and play like the team we are capable of being over the next month or so. I know I wouldn’t want to play the Cannons in an elimination game if I was an opposing ball club.”
Scheduled game one starter Tom Clark, after a sleepless Saturday evening spent tossing and turning, cited “burn out” and a desire to take a Sunday to “regroup” before the playoffs in an e-mail issued to management at Cannons World Headquarters (there was also significant confusion since the CNMSBL website listed the games as canceled...Clark eventually arrived in the middle of the first contest and was used as an extra hitter in the seventh inning). Adam Pallone, the consummate Cannons teammate always willing to play where the team needs him most, answered the bell as he was called upon to eat up valuable innings as a bridge to Patenaude on this hot, humid day. Unfortunately Connecticut’s junior-most member did not have his best stuff (which the team was fortunate enough to witness in his only other start of the season against the Newington Capitals) and the Cubs were able to push five first inning runs across against the twenty-seven year old right-hander. Rouge Moulin led off with a walk and after a fly ball to Patenaude in right four straight Cubs reached safely against Pallone (1 IP, 3 H, 5 ER, 3 BB, 1 K) as Mike Kakalow singled, Bobby Meaker walked, Paul Verboven had an RBI base hit and Van Wilder dropped a run-scoring dinker between Patenaude and Weber in short right field. The young Maryland product got Scrubs Noheimer to ground out to McGann at third plating another run and then allowed the only hard hit of his outing, a two-run line drive down the left field line by Eddie Murphy, to give Kakalow and the Cubbies a comfortable five-run cushion. “It was hit or miss with Adam today,” stated catcher Kevin Quinn outside the visitor’s locker room. “He didn’t have his best stuff and his location was a bit off allowing the Cubs to sit back on fast balls. Those guys didn’t hit him particularly hard but they were able to do just enough to give themselves a lead and they never looked back.” Kak ran into little resistance from the Cannons offense as he scattered five hits over seven innings (two apiece from Celio and Quinn and one from Chris Barsa). The Cannons put runners in scoring position in the second, fourth, fifth and sixth but squandered opportunities at each turn to come away empty handed for the fourth time this season. Patenaude (5 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K) pitched near-perfect baseball in fifty-six pitches of economical relief but it was not nearly enough as the Cannons fizzled to the 5-0 defeat.
Game two saw Patenaude re-position himself on his familiar perch atop the mound and though less dominating as would be expected as his pitch count approached and then topped the century mark the senior-most Cannon battled as he “scattered” nine hits over five frames (six in the first two innings where he incredibly allowed just one run). Offense, defense and pitching were on full display in the second game for the Cannons as the Big Guns went to immediate work against Kakalow (another pitcher trying to perfect Patenaude’s multi-game art but only paling in comparison). Balcerzak, Maule and Clark, playing together for the first time in more than two months (May 18, not coincidentally in a win against the Nats at New Cannon Yards), singled in consecutive at-bats with Clark pushing Balcerzak across with the go-ahead run and the initial chink in Kak’s armor on the day. Patenaude surrendered his only run of the double dip in the home half of the first as Dane Cook singled and scored on Murphy’s two out hit to center (Maule came up throwing and nailed Meaker as he tried to make his way to third to put an end to the threat). The Cannons bounced back for a run in the second as Pallone doubled and scored what would turn out to be the game-winning run as McGann dropped an important two-out pop fly into right field after Borst had been picked off at first. Patenaude allowed three straight singles to Wilder, Noheimer and Royce Bentley to start the second but a strong throw from the outfield kept the sacks jacked instead of surrendering a score and the fifty-two year old left-hander went to work to keep the Cannons on top. After tantalizing Bill Lageman with two perfectly executed pitches the Eastern Assistant Manager grounded a nubber right in front of home that Quinn pounced on, dragging his toe across the dish and firing to first to complete the 2-U-3 double play. Moulin followed with a come-backer that Patenaude fielded and flipped to first for the final out of the frame and the Cannons would make quick work of Kakalow in his ninth and final inning on the mound. Maule singled sharply and stole second to put a runner in scoring position with nobody out. After Clark went down swinging, Quinn hit a hot shot to third that Meaker airmailed over Lageman at first scoring the speedy Maule and moving another Cannon safely into second. Mike “Teutonic Ideal” Weber singled to left as Quinn came around with the third run and after a Pallone strike out Borst beat out an infield hit to the hole between short and third to keep the inning alive. Barsa singled scoring Weber and McGann hit a two-run triple—the first of his Cannons career—to push the lead to 7-1. Patenaude allowed two runners to reach with two down in the third but Wilder’s ground out to Barsa at first ended the inning and Connecticut’s offense went right back to business against Eastern’s reliever Cook. Maule led off the fourth with his third straight single, Clark followed with a base hit and Quinn knocked in Maule for a seven-run advantage. Weber chipped in with a sacrifice fly to left that scored Clark and the Cannons could sense an A Division first within striking distance. Patenaude allowed a lead-off double to center in the bottom of the inning that Noheimer foolishly tried to stretch into a triple but he was unceremoniously cut down on another amazing laser from Maule ending any thoughts the Cubs might have about making a run. After two quick outs the top of the Cannons line-up once again got down to brass tacks as McGann and Balcerzak singled and Maule drove them home with a double to left just out of reach of a diving Bentley. 11-1 Cannons and Patenaude (5 IP, 1 ER, 9 H, 0 BB, 4 K) toyed with the top of the Cubs order in the fifth, striking out Moulin and Cook before getting Kakalow on a lazy pop fly to center to end the ball game giving Connecticut its first-ever mercy rule victory in A Division play. Assistant Manager Mike Weber was extremely pleased with his team’s game two performance: “I’ve had the pleasure of playing baseball with Mike Patenaude for eight seasons and in that time we’ve witnessed many great things from him from All-Star appearances to championship clinchers but I can say with certainty I’ve never seen the guy have as much fun as he had on the field today. It seemed like he was in total control regardless of the situation and when you combine that dominance with the defense we played behind him along with the offensive production you can see why we would be a scary match-up for any of the teams in our league in the upcoming playoffs. We finally have two top flight pitchers [Patenaude and Clark] plus proven players we can bring in from the bullpen. We’re not consistent enough yet for my liking and I don’t want to jinx us in any way but if we play the way we’re capable of there’s not a team we can’t beat out there on a postseason Saturday or Sunday.” Celio didn’t seem too worried about a Cannons Curse and he didn’t mince words in his live radio program (WPOP, ESPN Radio 1410 a.m.) from West Wings Bar and Grill—forty-two beers on draft and eighteen flavors of wings, several of which the Cannons sampled as they celebrated the victory—in Hartford: “I’ve guaranteed game two victories the past two Sundays and our guys have come through. Now I’m guaranteeing a Connecticut Cannons Championship in 2008. Post that on all of your bulletin boards CNMSBL A Division!”
Pooh-ya Cannon Nation! Some quotes from the terrific tome Pooh’s Little Instruction Book: “Before beginning a hunt, it is wise to ask someone what you are looking for before you begin looking for it.” “To the uneducated an A is just three sticks.” And finally, “Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.” The Connecticut Cannons are clearly in the title hunt, knowing full well what they are looking for and what is at stake at this time of the season. An “A” Division title is not simply three sticks placed together but something of much greater value to the citizenry of the highest “caliber” country. Though there’s little rush and undoubtedly the Cannons will get there some day, playing with a sense of urgency is not such a terrible thing. Is there anything wrong with winning a Championship right here and right now? Certainly not and the “bears of little brain” found out on Sunday exactly what they and the rest of the league are up against when the real Connecticut Cannons come to play. Professional prognosticators and parlor room pundits agree that the CNMSBL A Division is an open book at present. The Cannons are looking to add a chapter to their glorious history, the perfect bookend to the B Division Championship of 2005. Hopefully there is more “win” than “poo” in the team’s immediate future. Tickets for the July 27 match-up against the Nationals (incredibly listed at 5-5 at press time!) are available at 1 800 CANNONS or on-line at ctcannons.blogspot.net.
Cannons News and Notes: Patenaude lowered his ERA to 2.95 and evened his record at 4-4 on the year); Pallone’s ERA ballooned from 0.00 to 8.75 (he allowed just two unearned runs in his three-inning performance against Newington); Borst has played in seventeen of the team’s eighteen contests this season (missing only game two on Opening Weekend at Winsted), good for the team lead; Maule leads the team with eleven runs batted in and now has thirty-three total since joining the Cannons in 2006 (also tops on the club); Clark had the five-hundredth at-bat of the season for Connecticut…his fourth inning game two hit was the team’s 151st of the campaign, the most ever in A Division play (2006: 130; 2007: 150)…Clark will wed his long-time girlfriend in October and the two are expecting a child in early 2009…internet dating pioneer “William” Clark—a Lewis and Clark reference—claimed to be part of several Shallow Hal moments including a dangerous dildo debacle and the time when he told a partner, “If you lost one hundred pounds you could be hot”…he promises this wasn’t offensive to the young woman because he was “sincere”…Mancini responded saying “fat chicks can be fun”; “Favre” Mancini announced plans to retire—again!—if he goes 0 for ’08 (currently “Blue Fire” is in an 0 for 13 slump in limited action to start the season)…Mancini approached the plate sans helmet in the third inning of game one saying, “I need to shed the weight…I can’t afford the extra ounces”…Mancer lamented the low pressure saying repeatedly “That ball is outta here on a high pressure day” (former Marlin Joe Furey could not be reached for comment)…when asked if he would be going to California to fight wildfires, the Hartford fireman responded abruptly: “F**k that!”; Pallone’s double was the thirty-fourth extra base hit of the campaign, eclipsing the mark of thirty-three set last season (McGann added a triple and Maule a double to push the team total to thirty-six with two to play); McGann and Pallone, Chicago Cubs fans, said it would be “hard to root against the Cubbies”; Pallone became the fourteenth member of the Cannons to earn his playoff eligibility this season (Mancini [1] and Markie [2] can still make the playoff roster by participating in the team’s final regular season contests); after eighteen games the Cannons’ team batting average stands exactly at .300 (156 for 520); ten of the sixteen players with more than ten at-bats have at least ten hits (Balcerzak, Borst, Celio, Clark, Dionicio, Maule, McDowell, McGann, Quinn and Weber); McDowell and Quinn are tied for the team lead with forty-eight at-bats; the one hundred twenty strike outs are the most ever by a Cannons ball club; “Big Aristotle” Borst philosophized: “The Cannons are coming together, ‘cause if we’re not we’re coming apart”…think about it; McGann missed McDowell, saying he “likes Drew behind him” further fueling “McGann is gay” rumors (“Big Mac” or “Bono” as he is also known claims the facts that he has “no money and a green car” are the real reasons he is currently single); Weird Science: one hundred percent of McDowell’s 1989 Hall High School classmates agree that his mother, Becky, who attended last Sunday’s games against Winsted, is hot (McGann prefers his father, George); Connecticut tied a regular season A Division record by earning its sixth victory…the club can become the all-time wins leader by beating the Nats this Sunday; ballots for the 2008 Cannons Awards will be issued to players on Monday, July 28 (if the final mandatory rain date is not required…if necessary the ballots will be issued on Monday, August 4); the CNMSBL postseason is scheduled for August 9, 10, 16 and 17 (sites to be determined though the Newington fields have been used in past seasons and have been requested again in 2008); former Cannon Craig Perrier is 7 for his last 9 for the Boston Braves (.471 on 8 for 17 overall this season)…still bitter about his release, the former first baseman turned outfielder/pitcher thanks the Cannons for his “minor league experience” now that he has locked on with the “big city Braves” (8-5).
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