WOOD-BLOCK
Championship Run Cut Short As Nats Send Cannons Home For Season With Saturday Sweep
West Hartford, CT (AP)—Forty years ago this past weekend, an alfalfa field on Max Yasgur’s small dairy farm in rural Bethel, New York played host to thirty-two acts and over 300,000 audience members who counteracted the elements—wild weather, food shortages, poor sanitation—with good vibes, celebrating “3 Days of Peace and Music” in what is now widely regarded as one of the most pivotal moments in popular music history: Woodstock. Legendary rockers like Santana, The Grateful Dead, Credence Clearwater Revival, The Who, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, and The Jimi Hendrix Experience descended upon this pastoral patch of land as the 60s slipped inexorably toward the 70s on a song. At Old Cannon Yards in West Hartford this past weekend, the Connecticut Cannons hoped to make more beautiful baseball music, looking to unleash the lumber for a second straight Saturday in search of that elusive first-ever CNMSBL A Division Championship. Yet, the magical melody never materialized—a “flower” power outage aptly applied to the offensive output—as the top-seeded Hartford Nationals dispatched eighth-seeded Connecticut in straight sets, a 3-2 heartbreaker and a 13-1 backbreaker that signaled the end of another season for the Boys in Blue. Manager Matt Celio’s spoke with members of the media at Cannons World Headquarters on Sunday afternoon, and although the initial shock of an abrupt ending was apparent, his upbeat utterings reflected the team’s forward thinking as a whole: “Though the season is over, in no way can 2009 be categorized as a failure. It’s disappointing to be done after the Divisional Series because we had enough pieces of the puzzle to win, but that doesn’t change the fact that this is by far the most talent we’ve ever assembled and the team is in great shape moving forward. We made amazing strides as a team and I am confident we will continue to do so in 2010 and beyond. The core of Cannons Baseball remains intact, with sixteen ’09 roster invitees under contact through the 2011 season, so we’ll reload and get ready to go from the beginning of April through the end of August, that’s a promise. Turn the hot stove dial up to high: next year’s champion will not be crowned for more than twelve months but that title will be won by the Cannons starting today. Another year of seasoning will make us instant favorites in the CNMSBL A Division tomorrow and for the foreseeable future. We are the team to beat in ’10 and you can print that in any and all publications. We’re putting the baseball world on notice.”
The Cannons returned to the familiar, comfy confines of Old Cannon Yards, Mike McGann’s favorite stadium in the CNMSBL, for the first time since 2006 to take on the Nationals in a game that matched Hartford’s David “Wild At Heart” Lynch against Connecticut’s ageless lefty Mike “Old Man of the ‘C’” Patenaude, making his tenth postseason appearance in A Division play. For the fifteenth time this season, Connecticut was able to push a first inning run across as Leo “Señor Cinco” Dionicio continued his torrid playoff pace with a two-out single and subsequent stolen base. Potent playoff performer Tom Luby followed with a run-scoring base hit down the leftfield line to put early pressure on the heavily favored Nats. However, a team doesn’t rack up sixteen regular season victories by accident, and the hard-hitting top of the Hartford line-up tied the ballgame in the home half of the frame as Anthony “Night Breed” Cacavale drove in lead-off batter David DeJesus, who had singled, to even the score at 1. Both starters settled in, though the Cannons constantly kept pressure on Lynch by putting runners in scoring position in every inning. Unfortunately, the Penn Gillette of the pitching mound was able to use smoke and mirrors, strike outs, and the occasional strong play to magically escape each instance unscathed. Instead it was the Nats who scored next when Jose Rosado and Basilio Ortiz belted back-to-back doubles with two down in the third to give the home team a one-run advantage. Patenaude kept the Nationals knockers in check, setting the team down in order in the fourth and fifth, and the Cannons were able to knot the score in the sixth as Chris “T-Rex” Barsa singled with one down, moved to third on Josh Svoboda’s double over the bag at third, and scored with some heads up base running when defensive replacement and former Cannon recruit Jimmy Gonzalez ranged to his left and bobbled a Kevin Quinn ground ball for an equalizing error. Connecticut managed to load the bases as McGann reached on a fielder’s choice and Jason Maule worked a walk, but Drew McDowell’s ground out to third ended the threat with the score tied at 2 and a wild bottom of the sixth would ensue. Guy “Sweetest Music This Side of Heaven” Lombardo singled to right and Rosado racked up his second big base hit to put to go-ahead run in scoring position with nobody down. Patenaude (6 IP, 3 R, 2 ER, 8 H, 1 K, 1 BB, 1 INT. BB) got a huge out as clean-up hitter Ortiz popped to McGann at short, but a passed ball bounding to the first base side of home during Cacavale’s at-bat moved both base runners up ninety feet. Patenaude put the Nats’ fifth batter on intentionally to load the bases and induced a one hop grounder to Luby at third, but the ball was misplayed for a run in the form of Lombardo. McGann tracked the ball to the outfield grass as Rosado rounded third and Cacavale followed around the bag at second as he looked to the lead runner for direction. The Cannons’ shortstop threw behind Cacavale to Dionicio at second and the tag was applied for out number two. Amid the mayhem, Rosado decided to test “El Professor de Punta Cana” but Dionicio fired a perfect strike to Quinn at the plate to cut down Rosado, keeping the lead at 1 going into the final frame. “El Dominican Dreamboat” singled and stole second to start the seventh but was stranded as the next three batters went in order and a golden opportunity to steal a game against a higher seed slipped by the wayside for the Cannons. “MP pitched a solid if not spectacular game against one of the best hitting line-ups this league has to offer and our defense was dynamite except for the single miscue, albeit a big one,” Weber voiced before vacating the visitors’ locker room (McGann and Adam “Bomb” Pallone were especially impressive filling gaps in the field). “Lynch dug himself a hole by getting behind batters but made every important pitch he had to, striking out eleven while leaving ten runners on base, so you’ve got to tip your cap to him. We had opportunities, didn’t come up with the big hits at the right moments, and it came back to haunt us. Jason [Maule] has been such a catalyst for us that we get spoiled and grow accustomed to his exploits: Hitting and scoring at will are second nature for him. You forget that this game is not as simple as he sometimes makes it look. It’s a lot of pressure, but often as Jason goes, we go. We’ll take our chances with that each and every weekend, but it just didn’t go our way today.”
In an elimination game as the home team, the Cannons turned to righty Kevin Quinn against Gonzalez of the Nationals and it was Hartford that drew first blood as lead-off batter DeJesus, a thorn in the side of Cannons pitchers throughout the day, reached on an error and stole second against Quinn and battery-mate Rob DePalma. A passed ball and an errant throw down the third base line allowed DeJesus to score and the Nats had a run without the benefit of a hit (Ortiz followed with a single so this may have been a moot point). In the bottom of the first, the Cannons once again put runners in scoring position as Maule walked and swiped second and Dionicio took free pass (a double steal would move the runners to second and third). Gonzalez, the Teller to Lynch’s Penn, got Luby to line out to Brian Austin Green at third and struck out Tom Clark to add to the Connecticut’s growing frustration. Hartford responded with three more runs in the top of the second against Quinn (1.1 IP, 4 R, 2 ER, 4 H, 1 K, 0 BB) as Will “Semi-Pro” Farrell, John “Issue Number One” McLaughlin, and DeJesus had singles sandwiched around a ball that was misplayed between Dionicio and Pallone off the bat of Gonzalez (the two came close to colliding as both went hard for a quickly falling ball; DePalma, feeling some ill effects from the heat, struggled to connect with Quinn and the Nationals repeatedly took advantage by moving up on several passed balls; Barsa joked afterwards, “For a big guy, Rob had a bad arm.”). Patenaude, sensing the tenor of the game, offered to reenter as a stopgap measure under the moniker “Mark” Patenaude, twin brother of “Mike,” and was able to set down Lombardo and Rosado without allowing any further damage, though it turns out the 4-0 edge was all Gonzalez would need. Connecticut loaded the bases in the second but was unable to break through and Hartford scored six runs—two in the third and four in the fourth, though only two of them were earned—against Patenaude (2.2 IP, 6 R, 2 ER, 6 H, 2 BB) as the fourth inning was extended because of another costly error at third and the bulge ballooned to 10 for the top-seed (Patenaude’s typical, “Oh well,” was all the lefthander could muster after throwing exactly 150 pitches on the day, though the “Sour Patch Kid” did give Luby “The Look” after his drop of the Cacavale line drive). Clark (2 IP, 3 R, 1 ER, 2 H, 1 BB) was also affected by porous play behind him as DeJesus, Lombardo, and Rosado all came around to score, the thirteenth and final run coming in the form of Rosado on a passed ball (“Somebody needs to dot ‘Rosy’ when we see them next season,” said Celio). The Cannons continued to squander opportunities to make a game of things as a bases loaded one-out rally in the fifth was averted on a line-drive double play off the bat of Luby—“The definition of our day,” mentioned Maule—while Pallone and Quinn singled but were left on base in the sixth. Luby (1 IP, 0 R, 0 H, 0 BB) pitched a perfect seventh and Celio brought the boys in for a last time in 2009, imploring his team to “win the inning.” Maule obliged, belting a bomb onto the junior varsity field and Connecticut loaded the bases yet again—ten more runners were left on base in game two—but Gonzalez was able to get Pallone looking to end the contest and the season for the Cannons. Weber wrapped up his postgame press conference thusly: “The four pitchers gave everything they had in conditions that were far from ideal (the mercury measured near 90° for much of this hot, humid day), and I wish we could have rewarded their efforts with a ‘W’ or two. Our offense, which has been so successful over the past two weekends, was far less effective against Hartford’s pitching staff and it’s all but impossible to beat these guys when you score just three runs over two games. Defensively, we didn’t get the job done when it mattered most, so we’ll spend the rest of the postseason at home trying to get better and making sure we don’t come up short next year. In my thinking, we lost these games in the regular season: Entering as an eight-seed, we were in the unenviable position of playing the one in the early going and that makes the road to the finals all the more difficult. We’ll get better and bring our ‘A’ game in 2010.” Celio stated: “Our guys gave it their all out there today and over the course of the entire campaign. I’m very proud of this ball club and what we accomplished this season. We’re heading in the right direction and that’s something for us to build upon in 2010. I fully expect the Cannons to take that next step and challenge for the CNMSBL Championship next year.”
Excerpts from “Woodstock” by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young:
Well, then can I roam beside you?
I have come to lose the smog,
And I feel myself a cog in somethin’ turning.
And maybe it’s the time of year,
Yes, and maybe it’s the time of man.
And I don’t know who I am,
But life is for learning.
We are stardust, we are golden,
We are billion year old carbon.
And we got to get ourselves back to the garden.
After Woodstock, Max Yasgur, who owned the site of the event, spoke of how the concert was a victory of peace and love, saying, “If we join [the concertgoers], we can turn adversities into a hope for a brighter future.” The 2009 CNMSBL season is over and done for the Connecticut Cannons, though this team hopes to turn its misfortune into a future filled with good wood, gold gloves, and the grandest of all achievements, an A Division title. Life is indeed for learning and each Cannon a cog in somethin’ turning. As the end of summer and the Autumnal Equinox approaches, the 2010 season may seem a distant dream, with Opening Day approximately eight months away. But those in the know fully understand that this is the time when postseason games are won and lost. Re-signing pivotal players or finding that key free agent acquisition will go a long way toward setting the tone for this team’s future so that the sweet sounds of success are all you’ll hear in a Cannons’ ear. Expectations will once again be at an all-time high as the Cannons prepare to play out next season’s CNMSBL A Division schedule and a championship is the only music that can truly soothe the savage beast known collectively as Cannon Nation.
Cannons News and Notes: Barsa [1], Luby [1], and Patenaude [13] are the only three current Connecticut Cannons who were alive during the three days of Woodstock…Iron Butterfly was scheduled to perform at the festival as the thirty-third act but could not reach Bethel because of traffic…“The New State Thruway’s Closed, Man!” (in honor of the Woodstock theme, Weber said the Cannons, “played like a bunch of hippies on acid” on Saturday; Hartford was 4-0 against Connecticut in ’09 after splitting the season series in ’08; the A Division’s final four is set: newcomers Suffield [4] will take on Hartford [1], while another newbie, upset winner Windsor [6] will play Glastonbury [2]…Bristol, Winsted, and the 2008 champion Marlborough were eliminated from contention over the weekend along with Connecticut; the Cannons batted .366 as a team in postseason play, up from .300 in the regular season (opponents batted .268 and .273 respectively); among qualifiers, Dionicio led the team offensively during the postseason in at-bats [15], triples [2], and runs batted in [8]…Maule led the team in bases on balls [4], runs [6], slugging percentage [1.231], and on-base + slugging percentage [1.937]…Balcerzak led the team in batting average [.714] and on-base percentage [.778]…Dionicio and Maule shared the lead in hits [8], home runs [1], and fewest strike outs [0] while Balcerzak, Maule, and Svoboda shared the lead in doubles [2]; Maule is the team’s all-time A Division leader in ten of thirteen offensive categories (Dionicio has more at bats and triples while Maule and Luby share the team lead with 10 RBI)…the star centerfielder has not struck out in fifty-six postseason plate appearances with the Cannons and his batting average actually improved from .606 from to .609 in his fourth postseason; Luby and Maule each hold six of the team’s overall 2001-2009 postseason records, five individually and each has scored 21 runs (Dionicio and Steve Markie share the triples lead…“Father of Cannons Baseball” Andy Borst still holds the record for postseason walks with 15); Patenaude and Quinn each had a win and a loss in postseason play…Patenaude led the club in playoff appearances [3], inning pitched [15.2], walks + hits per inning allowed [1.32], and earned run average [1.78]…Quinn led the club in hits allowed [10], runs allowed [5], earned runs allowed [3], and batting average against [.277]…Patenaude and Quinn each struck out seven opponents and walked four; for the first time since October 2005 (when the Cannons agreed to move to the A Division), Luby hosted teammates at a post-game party…Barsa, Celio, DePalma, McGann, and Weber joined Lubes and family at his lovely home in Avon (“Juicy Lucys”—hamburgers with cheese on the inside—were a huge hit with teammates…McGann does not use ketchup on his burgers); the team (Barsa, Celio, DePalma, Luby, former Cannon great Kevin McGann, Mike McGann, and Weber among other assorted family members and friends of the team) used twenty-two tickets in Luxury Box 4 at Dodd Stadium in Norwich for a contest between the Akron Aeros and Connecticut Defenders on Thursday, August 13 (won in walk-off fashion by the Defenders in the tenth)…the Giants Minor League affiliate celebrated Library Night and Thirsty Thursday with assorted $3 Samuel Adams brews (“T-Rex” chose to drink $5 Bud Light Limes instead while kicking in $40…he somehow worked a $30 refund by eating and drinking more)…as Celio passed out beers, DePalma spilled a Sam all over McGann, to which the lifelong Cubs fan responded topically, “I feel like Shane Victorino at Wrigley.”…Cutter the Eagle, the Defenders mascot, spent time in the box with the Cannons…twice during the game, a fan was covered in tape and asked to roll around in a pile of money…Luby questioned, “How much would Drew Clarke make in this event?” (Clarke’s Revenge: McGann says he, “loves the feel of the team’s new uniforms…in April.”)…after a high pop up, Weber informed teammates that these are the types of balls an outfielder can dive for risk-free, though he never remembered John Mancini doing so…Barsa replied, “I can’t picture Manzer [sic] diving for anything, except maybe a buffet table.”…Weber offered Barsa his unconditional release to the B Division at several points during the evening…Liz “Devo” Devokaitis was the first-ever contestant on Can You Dig It?, the Cannons version of Sox Appeal (Liz has had a blind date with “McCan’t,” took Barsa’s number even though he was texting another lady, and said, “Rob looks good in jeans. I hate to see him leave, but I love to watch him go!”)…Barsa informed “Devo” that his closest personal friends call him “Barse”…no Cannon has ever done so…McGann’s forty-two year old “back-up plan” girlfriend is “into yoga…she taught me a few things,” PETA pronounced; McDowell’s batting cage is available to the team this offseason; a move back to West Hartford is in the works as Celio signed former Bristol Scrapper and diamond in the rough Rick Sanford (Sanford, like Kenny “Club Foot” Mayne, hopes to wear #29 next season…bidding begins at $1000); Cannons management is looking at Saturday, October 3 for the annual Jocktoberfest at The Webers in Berlin…dinner, drinks, Cannons Jeopardy! and the Cannons Awards are all on the agenda, so clear your calendars for the fun-filled festivities!
8/15 Studs: Dionicio (3 for 6, 2 BB, 1 R, 5 SB), Patenaude (8.2 IP over two games, 4 ER)
8/15 Duds: the Connecticut Cannons offense (though the team connected for eighteen hits and eight walks, nearly the same as the twenty and five accumulated by Hartford, few were of the timely fashion needed to knock off a top-seeded opponent as the Nats outscored the Cannons 16-3 while Connecticut struck out on seventeen of forty-two outs [41%]); the Connecticut Cannons defense (nine unearned runs—one in the first and eight in the second—over the two games)
Monday, August 17, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
TAKE IT TO DA CUBS
Big Guns Pistol Whip Baby Bears; Bring on the Number One Seeded Nats!
Newington, CT (AP)—(To the tune of Farmington’s favorite son, 50 Cent’s “In Da Club”):
Go, go, go, go.
Go, go, go Cannons.
It’s the playoffs.
We gon’ play ball like it’s the playoffs.
We gon’ win it all like it’s the playoffs.
And you know we don’t give a f**k.
You out the playoffs!
The Cannons crushed the Cubs, a team that had no subs.
Sweep a Wild Card set at Alumni Field.
Connecticut’s the A Division’s greatest club.
You know the Cannons are for real!
On Saturday, the Connecticut Cannons started 2009’s postseason journey in resounding fashion, playing what arguably were the most fabulous fourteen innings of all-around baseball in the nine year old club’s storied history, and certainly the team’s most one-sided one-day performance since joining the CNMSBL’s A Division in 2006 by sweeping the Eastern Connecticut Cubs by scores of 3-0 and 22-1 to advance to the Divisional Series against the top-seeded Hartford Nationals at, you guessed it, Old Cannons Yards (West Hartford’s Hall High School). Back in April, many preseason publications, professional prognosticators, and parlor room pundits picked the Cannons as favorites to take the 2009 league title. What wasn’t to like about this battle-tested ball club, a team that last season was one strike away from advancing to its first-ever A Division Championship Series? Connecticut possessed all the necessary pieces to compete at this level: a solid core or fourteen returning players with plenty of playoff experience; brilliant bats in the form of Bill Balcerzak, Tom Clark, Leo Dionicio, Tom Luby, Drew McDowell, and Jason Maule to name just a handful who have become household names to diamond devotees; a dynamic defense, marshaled by mainstays Mike McGann and Kevin Quinn; and a host of heady hurlers, led by lefty Mike Patenaude, who have baffled batting orders from Windsor to Winsted. Add three highly-touted free agent recruits—Rob DePalma, Josh Svoboda, and Jim Yanosy—to round out the roster, along with the league’s most frenzied fan base, and it seemed certain the Cannons could make some noise come August. After an A Division-best regular season, the Boys in Blue felt like favorites entering the eighth month and Sunday’s performance further fostered those feelings as the all-out assault sent shockwaves throughout the state of Connecticut and across the entire baseball world.
After brief inspirational remarks made by Manager Matt Celio alluding to the August success so common to all Cannons clubs, Connecticut’s Patenaude took the mound against his opposite number, Eastern Connecticut’s Clement Dobrinski, in this “Battle of #19s.” Patenaude, as he done so many times in past playoff performances, impressed from the outset, setting the visitors down in order over the first two frames on only seventeen pitches (Clark, slowed considerably by a sore knee, made a great grab on a ball hit over his head in left in the second). Offensively, Connecticut would give “The Old Man of the ‘C’” all the runs he required in the second as Clark singled and courtesy runner “Hairway to Heaven” Balcerzak stole second. “Ragin’ Cajun” McDowell drove in the first run with a base hit (he too would swipe second, one of several steals against first-time third string catcher Cowsill Hare; McGann said of the stone-handed Hare, “I hope he was breaking in a new mitt today.”), Chris “T-Rex” Barsa ripped a run-scoring single to right, and Quinn came around to score on a two-out double by “The Truth” Maule to give the Cannons a three-run cushion. Patenaude, perfect through three-plus, did not allow a runner to reach until Jim Cook singled with two down in the fourth, but the Cubs’ skipper was gunned out by Quinn as he tried to steal second, ending the frame. Gorman “Illegal Alien” Apone led off the top of the fifth with a shot into the left-center gap but Maule rounded up the ball and threw a bullet to Dionicio at second to cut down the lumbering Latino. Connecticut would threaten repeatedly, putting runners in scoring position in each of the first five frames, but was unable to break things open against Dobrinski who was aided by a pair of unassisted double plays on absolute rockets off the big bats of Maule and Clark. Having faced the minimum number of batters through six complete, Patenaude was touched for a two-strike lead-off single by Rogue Moulin and Cook added a one-out base hit that brought the tying run to the plate in the roly-poly form of Apone. However, an amazing play by McGann in right, as he chased a ball a country mile into the corner for a clutch catch, kept the Cannons comfortably in front and Patenaude (7 IP, 0 R, 4 H, 6 K, 0 BB, CG on only seventy-eight seemingly effortless tosses) induced a Taj Van Wilder ground out to short for the complete game shutout and 3-0 victory to open postseason play. “MP has won some huge games for us in nine seasons of playoff pitching performances,” marveled Celio between ball games. “But he was all but untouchable out there today and the defense certainly didn’t disappoint. This guy is big time as he’s proved again and again and when we play perfect defense like we did, we are all but impossible to beat because we know our offense is more than capable of putting up runs.” The Cannons were more than ready to put that capability on full display against the Cubs in game two.
Following pre-game remarks made by Assistant Manager Mike Weber focusing specifically on the financial savings of a sweep, Eastern’s Anheuser Busch (a former Cannons recruit) climbed the hill in a confrontation with Connecticut’s Quinn (making his first postseason start) and this contest would get out of hand in a hurry. Connecticut, in the role of visitors, immediately went to work, sticking it to Busch at every opportunity. Maule led off the game with a patented opposite field double, much to Busch’s dismay, and Dionicio followed with a triple to right that had Brian “Vision Quest” Shutt twisted and tangled (“Señor Cinco” would soon score on a passed ball). Balcerzak doubled, stole third, and scored on Clark’s sacrifice fly to left to match the team’s run total from game one though the scoring was far from over. In the home half of the first, defensive dynamo Dionicio stabbed a line drive shot up the middle by Moulin then Quinn allowed a full count walk to Busch’s brother, Augustus, and a single to Cook, though Maule put on another dazzling defensive display as he threw a flat-footed one-hop strike to Luby at third from deep center to cut down Busch in disbelief (the Cubs’ pitcher, coaching third at the time, blew a gasket, arguing with umpire Jason Rentas, and the Cannons would continue to wax Busch throughout the course of the game). In the top of the second, Connecticut sent ten players to the plate, scoring five times as Quinn singled, McGann walked, Maule had a RBI base hit, and Dionicio ripped his second triple in as many innings, scoring two. Balcerzak singled home “El Latin Lothario” and came home on Clark’s base knock for an early 8-0 advantage that Clark called, “the quickest and quietest eight runs the team has scored” during his two-year tenure. Weber joked, “When your courtesy runner is standing in the on-deck circle and you have to send out a guy who just scored, you know you’re having a good inning.” Busch was able to quiet the Cannons bats for a frame but Quinn avoided any damage in the third after a lead-off walk to Dobrinski, using a strike out on the outside part of the plate that inched Busch closer to the boiling point and a dynamite double play from Balcerzak to Dionicio to Barsa to end the inning. Connecticut banged Busch off the bump in the fourth, adding eight more runs and going from big lead to laugher in fourteen fateful at-bats. Dionicio led off with an inside the park home run, the first postseason poke of his storied Cannons career, Balcerzak singled, and Luby legged out an infield hit as the Cubs fielders conducted what Weber called, “a Chinese fire drill,” each running from the ball and bags so that no play could be made (Connecticut’s inspirational leader injured a hamstring on the hit, the only dark cloud in this silver-lined Saturday, but hopes to be ready for this weekend’s games; team doctors released this statement on Sunday afternoon: “Tom Luby is officially listed as day to day with a deep hamstring pull, though no tears were discovered. His ability to drink the afternoon and evening away on Saturday was extremely encouraging, he will be rehabilitating the leg over the next several days, and he is listed as ‘probable’ for the games against the Nationals.”). Clark worked a walk to load the bases and then the calliope music of the carousel really kicked into gear as Busch was replaced by Van Wilder. McDowell, Barsa, Quinn, Maule, Balcerzak, and Svoboda were all issued RBI free passes—Quinn was plunked on his pitching hand—while Dionicio dropped a single into centerfield that scored McGann after he reached on a fielder’s choice (“Quinnie’s lack of hustle screwed me out of a much-needed hit. He better watch his back because I’m pissed,” fumed a facetiously-irked “Irish Assassin,” the only Cannons starter to go hitless on the day). Quinn cruised through the fourth—striking out Busch looking to finish the frame, leading to his massive meltdown and eventual ejection that left the Cubs with only eight players—and fifth though Connecticut’s offense was briefly silenced as Weber and Celio provided bookend strike outs against relief pitcher Apone (Celio, one of only two Cannons without a whiff on the regular season said to Luby and McGann in the dugout, “I got something in my eye on the pitch, I swear!”; Patenaude, the other K–less Cannon, went down swinging twice on Saturday). Following a phone call from Celio to vacationing A Division President Mike Clinton confirming the league’s lack of a postseason mercy rule, Maule tripled to left to start the sixth and scored on a Dionicio ground out for the seventeenth Cannons’ tally. The Cubs started their “comeback” in the home half of the inning as Apone, Van Wilder, and Shutt all singled, and Hare had his team’s lone RBI on a ground ball to Svoboda at third (the first year player replaced Luby in the field after his injury). The Cannons added five runs in the top of the final frame as Rob DePalma singled (Weber entered as a courtesy runner), Quinn had a base hit, and Celio doubled to left scoring his coaching consigliere. Maule walked to load the bases, Dionicio doubled in all three runs, hitting for the cycle in the process, and Svoboda had a RBI single to push the twenty-second and final run of the contest across the plate. Quinn (7 IP, 1 R, 1 ER, 6 H, 6 K, 4 BB, CG) got grounders to Barsa at second and Svoboda at third as several Connecticut players swapped positions in the final innings to end the most lopsided game in Cannons’ history, a 22-1 massacre and mounting of the Baby Bears. As promised, payback most assuredly was a b***h for the Eastern Connecticut Cubs. Weber said of the incomparable Quinn: “KQ was superb and, according to his own assessment, he didn’t even have his best stuff which is scary since he only surrendered the one run. He has given us top of the rotation innings over the past two Sundays and has been a real difference maker for us this season. Our rotation is that much better with Kevin, Mike, Tom, and Jim. It’s a real luxury in the postseason to have trusted arms at our disposal. And I can assure you the Cannons are a team that likes to ‘pound Busch’ at every opportunity!” Celio concluded his postgame press conference with the following comments: “Mike and Kevin pitched with chips on their left and right shoulders respectively and were unbelievable on the mound, twelve strike outs means we don’t have to make every play in the field and as a result our defense played the best it has all season, including some spectacular plays at a number of positions, and the bats have been booming since being shut out by the Cubbies at the end of July. We’re coming together in all aspects of the game and we showed what kind of team we can be when we get solid contributions from everybody on the roster. That is what has made us successful in the past and will be the key to a long postseason run over the next three weekends. We’re playing with the consistency and confidence that has been a trademark of Cannons Baseball for the better part of nine seasons, especially at this time of year. This was a terrific brand of baseball, a lot more than survive and advance today, and we live to play another day. The things that made us so solid on Saturday—clutch hitting regardless of the number of outs, near-perfect pitching including putting the Cubs’ lead-off batters in the book inning after inning (ten times in two games), key defensive plays that averted any and all rally attempts, combined and manifested as that certain Cannons’ je ne sais quoi—are the things that will carry us to the A Division crown. If we play ball the way we’re capable of, anything and everything is possible. Our goals haven’t changed since April and we’ll still be playing next weekend while two teams will be watching on television. The title is right there for the taking and playing the top seed is not a spot that will intimidate us in any way, shape, or form. Don’t make the mistake of counting the Cannons out.”
(More from “Fitty’s” hard-thumping seminal single)
And you should love it way more than you hate it.
Cubbies you mad? I thought you’d be happy we made it.
We’re the Guns with the beers, toasting the good life.
This ain’t the same Cannons team you played two weeks ago, right?
When the Cannons get to August in the playoffs it’s on.
You want a three-game series but after only two you’re gone.
The Cannons’ fuse is on fire, let the mother*****r burn.
The one-seed Nats up next, homie we ain’t concerned.
It’s the eighth month, the time the Cannons switch their style up.
If opponents hate then let ‘em hate.
Just watch the wins pile up.
Celebrate a championship with some bottles of bub.
You know where we f*****g be.
Say goodbye to the Cubs.
C-UNIT!
It has been said that revenge is a dish best served cold, and this Cubbies concoction cooled considerably over the past two weeks rendering that pair of rancid regular season losses meaningless as Connecticut’s season continues while Eastern Connecticut’s came to a crashing halt. Celio echoed his sentiments from two weeks ago, when the results were far different: “We’re as talent-laden as any team in the league and today we put all the pieces together against a team we owed butt kicking: you saw the swagger that makes us such a tough out each and every August stamped all over these two. I knew our guys would remember the losses against the Cubs and use what we learned to our advantage. Today our play spoke for itself, and it spoke volumes as we hoped it would. Saturday was everything we expected it to be and now we get a whack at the one next week when I count on us playing classic Cannons Baseball yet again. Seeding means nothing to us now: we’re one of eight teams still playing with a chance to win a championship. A title’s still on our to-do list.” August is upon us and, as chronicled on these pages previously, the eighth month brings optimism and often outstanding outcomes for the Connecticut Cannons. It is now crystal clear this team has the necessary firepower to compete for and ultimately capture the CNMSBL’s Clarke-Clinton Trophy in 2009. Seats for all second round games across the league have been sold out for months, though standing room only tickets will be available to the public at all venues thirty minutes before game time. Follow the simulcast live on the web at ctcannons.blogspot.com. Beating Hartford will be a National treasure. Let the hunt for BLUE August continue. Championship or bust!
Cannons News and Notes: The Cannons combined regular and postseason record of 11-11 marks the first time the team has been at .500 this late in a campaign since joining the A Division in 2006; game one was the first A Division playoff home game for the Cannons (another first: McGann used the Alumni Field parking lot rather than climbing over and under fences to reach the diamond…Luby said it was lucky that Juan Checo and Drew Clarke had been released earlier in the season since neither would have fit through the field’s famous “fencing for supermodels”); all fourteen Connecticut players logged significant playing time on Saturday, including rookies DePalma and Svoboda each recording his first postseason hit; the Cannons’ batting averaged skyrocketed from an even .300 in the regular season to a fiery .422 if first-round action, a sign the team is getting hot at the right time yet again; after two contests, seven of fourteen batters have a combined playoff OPS of 1.167 or better (Balcerzak, Celio, Clark, DePalma, Dionicio, Maule, and Svoboda); Connecticut has outscored opponents 52 to 7 in four games this August and is 4-0 since Celio switched to the red Cannons Baseball pencil; top to bottom production: Maule, Dionicio, and Balcerzak—the team’s top third of the line-up—each had five hits on Saturday, while Clark, Luby, McDowell, and Quinn chipped in with two apiece; following his father’s offensive outburst and error-free play at second, Brian “El Hijo del Heartthrob de Hispaniola” Dionicio, who as recently as two weeks ago stated simply, “My Dad sucks,” said with a sigh of relief, “I can finally call you my father!”…Dionicio and his family attended the premier of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra on Friday evening (Clark, unaware of the movie’s official release date, asked “El Dominican Dreamboat” if he “saw a bootleg Park Road version” of the film, adding, “I get a lot of CDs and DVDs from there.”; the three triples by Dionicio (2) and Maule (1) were two more than the team had over the course of the entire regular season campaign (Barsa’s triple against Bristol was Connecticut’s only three-bagger of the regular season); Barsa took complete credit for Dionicio’s outstanding offense, telling the player who put the “Grrr” in free-swinger before game two to, “set a small strike zone and only look for fastballs.”…who knew it was so simple?!; McDowell was the only Cannon thrown out by Hare, earning him the new nickname “Louisiana Deceptively Slow”; McDowell and wife Barbara celebrated their twelfth anniversary on Saturday (“Drew Diesel” had to fight to attend the playoff pair but when he was asked about how this would impact night in New York City, the first baseman said, “I’m still gonna get some.”)…Adam “Bomb” Pallone and wife Laure celebrated their first anniversary over the weekend as well; for the first time, Newington native Barsa hosted teammates at a post-game party…Celio, DePalma, Luby, McGann, and Weber joined “T-Rex” at his bachelor pad (Barsa has offered use of his deck after next weekend’s win as well); several players visited Plan B, The Spigot, and the rooftop at The Elbow Room after the sweep (all three are official sponsors of the 2009 Connecticut Cannons playoffs)…bring out the brooms again: Managers Celio and Weber swept a pair from Barsa and DePalma in darts…McGann informed teammates that, “If I can fit a girl’s full butt in my hand, I’m down with it.”…McGann also alerted all interested parties that he is not a huge fan of anal sex, saying, “I’d go with one of the other holes, not specific, that’s just the way it goes.”…“The Mayor of Manville” became even less likely to “Go Greek” after he heard that Farrah Fawcett’s cancer might have been caused by backdoor love…McGann, hit by Hartford’s Kevin Rival early in the season, promises retribution, expecting “big damage” from himself and the rest of the Cannons offense; Drew “Breakfast Club” Clarke, a Cannons cast-off picked up by the Capitals in May, allowed just one run in five-plus innings against the Torr-Winchester Rifles in the second game of their Wild Card weekend series (the Little Guns got to Caps relievers for eleven in the sixth after Clarke ran out of gas)…Paul “Digger” Graves spoke with Celio on Saturday afternoon, saying, “You made a mistake in player personnel, bro. Drew threw ‘The Mesmerizer’ to us all day long. Trying to hit him is like trying to hit a fluttering moth.”…Newington, following a first game forfeit and with just nine players for game two, was forced to use the corpulent Clarke as a hitter…Graves added, “I don’t know if you’re a Star Wars fan, but I’ve never seen Jabba the Hutt run the bases before [Saturday].”…Winsted takes on Clinton, John “Fore” Skinner, and the rest of the second seeded Glastonbury G-Men in round two action on Saturday (Marlborough [3] hosts Windsor [6] while Suffield [4] is home against Bristol [5]); Mayne Man: Kenny “Mayne Street” Mayne, essence of ESPN, Avon resident, and close personal friend of Tom Luby, contacted Celio on Saturday after the wins with his intentions to join the Cannons in 2010: “I’m good for one inning of pitching per weekend. I’m there for my arm, not my bat.”…the pitcher plans to wear number 29 to which Celio replied, “Some people have great numbers, still others make numbers great,” invoking a Coach John Robinson reference to then Rams running back Eric Dickerson circa 1983…several Cannons hope that the Mayne signing will entice Baseball Tonight’s John Kruk to commit to the club, as all agreed he’d be fun to drink with…Mayne’s book, An Incomplete and Inaccurate History of Sport, rated a 5-stars smash by reviewers at barnesandnoble.com is available on-line at a member’s discount of $19.96…Mayne would become the only Cannon to have appeared on Dancing With the Stars and would be the only player who Stacy Keibler’s lips have appeared on…I’m still trying!; the team has twenty-four tickets for a luxury box at Dodd Stadium in Norwich for a contest between the Akron Aeros and Connecticut Defenders for this Thursday (August 13) at 6:35…Barsa, DePalma, and McGann hope to compete in Can You Dig It?, a Sox Appeal-esque game show in which each player gets to lavish their love on the lovely Liz (she of man hands and meatloaf turkey fame), the object of McGann’s odd affections a few weeks back, for three innings each on Thursday evening…“PETA”—known to Liz as Mike “McCan’t” after his failed flirtations—is not pleased with the premise of the pilot episode: “I never thought I’d live to see the day Barsa wanted someone I rejected.”; fourteen of seventeen ballots for the 2009 Cannons Awards were received in the five days following the regular season finale (polls closed at 11:59 p.m. on Friday, August 7 and awards will be presented at Jocktoberfest ‘09…date and time TBA)…thank you for your votes!
8/8 Studs: the Connecticut Cannons: offense (25 runs on 27 hits, eleven of them for extra bases, along with 14 free passes), defense (1 insignificant error in Game Two after a flawless Game One), and pitching (1 run on 10 hits, only 4 free passes, 12 strike outs, 2 CG, 2 W); Balcerzak (5 for 7, 2 2B, 2 BB, 3 R, 2 RBI, 4 SB); Dionicio (5 for 6, 2B, 2 3B, HR—the first-ever Cannons cycle—4 R, 8 RBI in Game Two); Maule (5 for 7, 2 2B, 3B, 2 BB, 5 R, 4 RBI, 2 SB); Patenaude (7 IP, 0 R, 4 H, 6 K, 0 BB, CG shutout, W); Quinn (7 IP, 1 ER, 6 H, 6 K, CG, W)
8/8 Duds: the Eastern Connecticut Cubs, going from swept to inept in the matter of a fortnight
Big Guns Pistol Whip Baby Bears; Bring on the Number One Seeded Nats!
Newington, CT (AP)—(To the tune of Farmington’s favorite son, 50 Cent’s “In Da Club”):
Go, go, go, go.
Go, go, go Cannons.
It’s the playoffs.
We gon’ play ball like it’s the playoffs.
We gon’ win it all like it’s the playoffs.
And you know we don’t give a f**k.
You out the playoffs!
The Cannons crushed the Cubs, a team that had no subs.
Sweep a Wild Card set at Alumni Field.
Connecticut’s the A Division’s greatest club.
You know the Cannons are for real!
On Saturday, the Connecticut Cannons started 2009’s postseason journey in resounding fashion, playing what arguably were the most fabulous fourteen innings of all-around baseball in the nine year old club’s storied history, and certainly the team’s most one-sided one-day performance since joining the CNMSBL’s A Division in 2006 by sweeping the Eastern Connecticut Cubs by scores of 3-0 and 22-1 to advance to the Divisional Series against the top-seeded Hartford Nationals at, you guessed it, Old Cannons Yards (West Hartford’s Hall High School). Back in April, many preseason publications, professional prognosticators, and parlor room pundits picked the Cannons as favorites to take the 2009 league title. What wasn’t to like about this battle-tested ball club, a team that last season was one strike away from advancing to its first-ever A Division Championship Series? Connecticut possessed all the necessary pieces to compete at this level: a solid core or fourteen returning players with plenty of playoff experience; brilliant bats in the form of Bill Balcerzak, Tom Clark, Leo Dionicio, Tom Luby, Drew McDowell, and Jason Maule to name just a handful who have become household names to diamond devotees; a dynamic defense, marshaled by mainstays Mike McGann and Kevin Quinn; and a host of heady hurlers, led by lefty Mike Patenaude, who have baffled batting orders from Windsor to Winsted. Add three highly-touted free agent recruits—Rob DePalma, Josh Svoboda, and Jim Yanosy—to round out the roster, along with the league’s most frenzied fan base, and it seemed certain the Cannons could make some noise come August. After an A Division-best regular season, the Boys in Blue felt like favorites entering the eighth month and Sunday’s performance further fostered those feelings as the all-out assault sent shockwaves throughout the state of Connecticut and across the entire baseball world.
After brief inspirational remarks made by Manager Matt Celio alluding to the August success so common to all Cannons clubs, Connecticut’s Patenaude took the mound against his opposite number, Eastern Connecticut’s Clement Dobrinski, in this “Battle of #19s.” Patenaude, as he done so many times in past playoff performances, impressed from the outset, setting the visitors down in order over the first two frames on only seventeen pitches (Clark, slowed considerably by a sore knee, made a great grab on a ball hit over his head in left in the second). Offensively, Connecticut would give “The Old Man of the ‘C’” all the runs he required in the second as Clark singled and courtesy runner “Hairway to Heaven” Balcerzak stole second. “Ragin’ Cajun” McDowell drove in the first run with a base hit (he too would swipe second, one of several steals against first-time third string catcher Cowsill Hare; McGann said of the stone-handed Hare, “I hope he was breaking in a new mitt today.”), Chris “T-Rex” Barsa ripped a run-scoring single to right, and Quinn came around to score on a two-out double by “The Truth” Maule to give the Cannons a three-run cushion. Patenaude, perfect through three-plus, did not allow a runner to reach until Jim Cook singled with two down in the fourth, but the Cubs’ skipper was gunned out by Quinn as he tried to steal second, ending the frame. Gorman “Illegal Alien” Apone led off the top of the fifth with a shot into the left-center gap but Maule rounded up the ball and threw a bullet to Dionicio at second to cut down the lumbering Latino. Connecticut would threaten repeatedly, putting runners in scoring position in each of the first five frames, but was unable to break things open against Dobrinski who was aided by a pair of unassisted double plays on absolute rockets off the big bats of Maule and Clark. Having faced the minimum number of batters through six complete, Patenaude was touched for a two-strike lead-off single by Rogue Moulin and Cook added a one-out base hit that brought the tying run to the plate in the roly-poly form of Apone. However, an amazing play by McGann in right, as he chased a ball a country mile into the corner for a clutch catch, kept the Cannons comfortably in front and Patenaude (7 IP, 0 R, 4 H, 6 K, 0 BB, CG on only seventy-eight seemingly effortless tosses) induced a Taj Van Wilder ground out to short for the complete game shutout and 3-0 victory to open postseason play. “MP has won some huge games for us in nine seasons of playoff pitching performances,” marveled Celio between ball games. “But he was all but untouchable out there today and the defense certainly didn’t disappoint. This guy is big time as he’s proved again and again and when we play perfect defense like we did, we are all but impossible to beat because we know our offense is more than capable of putting up runs.” The Cannons were more than ready to put that capability on full display against the Cubs in game two.
Following pre-game remarks made by Assistant Manager Mike Weber focusing specifically on the financial savings of a sweep, Eastern’s Anheuser Busch (a former Cannons recruit) climbed the hill in a confrontation with Connecticut’s Quinn (making his first postseason start) and this contest would get out of hand in a hurry. Connecticut, in the role of visitors, immediately went to work, sticking it to Busch at every opportunity. Maule led off the game with a patented opposite field double, much to Busch’s dismay, and Dionicio followed with a triple to right that had Brian “Vision Quest” Shutt twisted and tangled (“Señor Cinco” would soon score on a passed ball). Balcerzak doubled, stole third, and scored on Clark’s sacrifice fly to left to match the team’s run total from game one though the scoring was far from over. In the home half of the first, defensive dynamo Dionicio stabbed a line drive shot up the middle by Moulin then Quinn allowed a full count walk to Busch’s brother, Augustus, and a single to Cook, though Maule put on another dazzling defensive display as he threw a flat-footed one-hop strike to Luby at third from deep center to cut down Busch in disbelief (the Cubs’ pitcher, coaching third at the time, blew a gasket, arguing with umpire Jason Rentas, and the Cannons would continue to wax Busch throughout the course of the game). In the top of the second, Connecticut sent ten players to the plate, scoring five times as Quinn singled, McGann walked, Maule had a RBI base hit, and Dionicio ripped his second triple in as many innings, scoring two. Balcerzak singled home “El Latin Lothario” and came home on Clark’s base knock for an early 8-0 advantage that Clark called, “the quickest and quietest eight runs the team has scored” during his two-year tenure. Weber joked, “When your courtesy runner is standing in the on-deck circle and you have to send out a guy who just scored, you know you’re having a good inning.” Busch was able to quiet the Cannons bats for a frame but Quinn avoided any damage in the third after a lead-off walk to Dobrinski, using a strike out on the outside part of the plate that inched Busch closer to the boiling point and a dynamite double play from Balcerzak to Dionicio to Barsa to end the inning. Connecticut banged Busch off the bump in the fourth, adding eight more runs and going from big lead to laugher in fourteen fateful at-bats. Dionicio led off with an inside the park home run, the first postseason poke of his storied Cannons career, Balcerzak singled, and Luby legged out an infield hit as the Cubs fielders conducted what Weber called, “a Chinese fire drill,” each running from the ball and bags so that no play could be made (Connecticut’s inspirational leader injured a hamstring on the hit, the only dark cloud in this silver-lined Saturday, but hopes to be ready for this weekend’s games; team doctors released this statement on Sunday afternoon: “Tom Luby is officially listed as day to day with a deep hamstring pull, though no tears were discovered. His ability to drink the afternoon and evening away on Saturday was extremely encouraging, he will be rehabilitating the leg over the next several days, and he is listed as ‘probable’ for the games against the Nationals.”). Clark worked a walk to load the bases and then the calliope music of the carousel really kicked into gear as Busch was replaced by Van Wilder. McDowell, Barsa, Quinn, Maule, Balcerzak, and Svoboda were all issued RBI free passes—Quinn was plunked on his pitching hand—while Dionicio dropped a single into centerfield that scored McGann after he reached on a fielder’s choice (“Quinnie’s lack of hustle screwed me out of a much-needed hit. He better watch his back because I’m pissed,” fumed a facetiously-irked “Irish Assassin,” the only Cannons starter to go hitless on the day). Quinn cruised through the fourth—striking out Busch looking to finish the frame, leading to his massive meltdown and eventual ejection that left the Cubs with only eight players—and fifth though Connecticut’s offense was briefly silenced as Weber and Celio provided bookend strike outs against relief pitcher Apone (Celio, one of only two Cannons without a whiff on the regular season said to Luby and McGann in the dugout, “I got something in my eye on the pitch, I swear!”; Patenaude, the other K–less Cannon, went down swinging twice on Saturday). Following a phone call from Celio to vacationing A Division President Mike Clinton confirming the league’s lack of a postseason mercy rule, Maule tripled to left to start the sixth and scored on a Dionicio ground out for the seventeenth Cannons’ tally. The Cubs started their “comeback” in the home half of the inning as Apone, Van Wilder, and Shutt all singled, and Hare had his team’s lone RBI on a ground ball to Svoboda at third (the first year player replaced Luby in the field after his injury). The Cannons added five runs in the top of the final frame as Rob DePalma singled (Weber entered as a courtesy runner), Quinn had a base hit, and Celio doubled to left scoring his coaching consigliere. Maule walked to load the bases, Dionicio doubled in all three runs, hitting for the cycle in the process, and Svoboda had a RBI single to push the twenty-second and final run of the contest across the plate. Quinn (7 IP, 1 R, 1 ER, 6 H, 6 K, 4 BB, CG) got grounders to Barsa at second and Svoboda at third as several Connecticut players swapped positions in the final innings to end the most lopsided game in Cannons’ history, a 22-1 massacre and mounting of the Baby Bears. As promised, payback most assuredly was a b***h for the Eastern Connecticut Cubs. Weber said of the incomparable Quinn: “KQ was superb and, according to his own assessment, he didn’t even have his best stuff which is scary since he only surrendered the one run. He has given us top of the rotation innings over the past two Sundays and has been a real difference maker for us this season. Our rotation is that much better with Kevin, Mike, Tom, and Jim. It’s a real luxury in the postseason to have trusted arms at our disposal. And I can assure you the Cannons are a team that likes to ‘pound Busch’ at every opportunity!” Celio concluded his postgame press conference with the following comments: “Mike and Kevin pitched with chips on their left and right shoulders respectively and were unbelievable on the mound, twelve strike outs means we don’t have to make every play in the field and as a result our defense played the best it has all season, including some spectacular plays at a number of positions, and the bats have been booming since being shut out by the Cubbies at the end of July. We’re coming together in all aspects of the game and we showed what kind of team we can be when we get solid contributions from everybody on the roster. That is what has made us successful in the past and will be the key to a long postseason run over the next three weekends. We’re playing with the consistency and confidence that has been a trademark of Cannons Baseball for the better part of nine seasons, especially at this time of year. This was a terrific brand of baseball, a lot more than survive and advance today, and we live to play another day. The things that made us so solid on Saturday—clutch hitting regardless of the number of outs, near-perfect pitching including putting the Cubs’ lead-off batters in the book inning after inning (ten times in two games), key defensive plays that averted any and all rally attempts, combined and manifested as that certain Cannons’ je ne sais quoi—are the things that will carry us to the A Division crown. If we play ball the way we’re capable of, anything and everything is possible. Our goals haven’t changed since April and we’ll still be playing next weekend while two teams will be watching on television. The title is right there for the taking and playing the top seed is not a spot that will intimidate us in any way, shape, or form. Don’t make the mistake of counting the Cannons out.”
(More from “Fitty’s” hard-thumping seminal single)
And you should love it way more than you hate it.
Cubbies you mad? I thought you’d be happy we made it.
We’re the Guns with the beers, toasting the good life.
This ain’t the same Cannons team you played two weeks ago, right?
When the Cannons get to August in the playoffs it’s on.
You want a three-game series but after only two you’re gone.
The Cannons’ fuse is on fire, let the mother*****r burn.
The one-seed Nats up next, homie we ain’t concerned.
It’s the eighth month, the time the Cannons switch their style up.
If opponents hate then let ‘em hate.
Just watch the wins pile up.
Celebrate a championship with some bottles of bub.
You know where we f*****g be.
Say goodbye to the Cubs.
C-UNIT!
It has been said that revenge is a dish best served cold, and this Cubbies concoction cooled considerably over the past two weeks rendering that pair of rancid regular season losses meaningless as Connecticut’s season continues while Eastern Connecticut’s came to a crashing halt. Celio echoed his sentiments from two weeks ago, when the results were far different: “We’re as talent-laden as any team in the league and today we put all the pieces together against a team we owed butt kicking: you saw the swagger that makes us such a tough out each and every August stamped all over these two. I knew our guys would remember the losses against the Cubs and use what we learned to our advantage. Today our play spoke for itself, and it spoke volumes as we hoped it would. Saturday was everything we expected it to be and now we get a whack at the one next week when I count on us playing classic Cannons Baseball yet again. Seeding means nothing to us now: we’re one of eight teams still playing with a chance to win a championship. A title’s still on our to-do list.” August is upon us and, as chronicled on these pages previously, the eighth month brings optimism and often outstanding outcomes for the Connecticut Cannons. It is now crystal clear this team has the necessary firepower to compete for and ultimately capture the CNMSBL’s Clarke-Clinton Trophy in 2009. Seats for all second round games across the league have been sold out for months, though standing room only tickets will be available to the public at all venues thirty minutes before game time. Follow the simulcast live on the web at ctcannons.blogspot.com. Beating Hartford will be a National treasure. Let the hunt for BLUE August continue. Championship or bust!
Cannons News and Notes: The Cannons combined regular and postseason record of 11-11 marks the first time the team has been at .500 this late in a campaign since joining the A Division in 2006; game one was the first A Division playoff home game for the Cannons (another first: McGann used the Alumni Field parking lot rather than climbing over and under fences to reach the diamond…Luby said it was lucky that Juan Checo and Drew Clarke had been released earlier in the season since neither would have fit through the field’s famous “fencing for supermodels”); all fourteen Connecticut players logged significant playing time on Saturday, including rookies DePalma and Svoboda each recording his first postseason hit; the Cannons’ batting averaged skyrocketed from an even .300 in the regular season to a fiery .422 if first-round action, a sign the team is getting hot at the right time yet again; after two contests, seven of fourteen batters have a combined playoff OPS of 1.167 or better (Balcerzak, Celio, Clark, DePalma, Dionicio, Maule, and Svoboda); Connecticut has outscored opponents 52 to 7 in four games this August and is 4-0 since Celio switched to the red Cannons Baseball pencil; top to bottom production: Maule, Dionicio, and Balcerzak—the team’s top third of the line-up—each had five hits on Saturday, while Clark, Luby, McDowell, and Quinn chipped in with two apiece; following his father’s offensive outburst and error-free play at second, Brian “El Hijo del Heartthrob de Hispaniola” Dionicio, who as recently as two weeks ago stated simply, “My Dad sucks,” said with a sigh of relief, “I can finally call you my father!”…Dionicio and his family attended the premier of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra on Friday evening (Clark, unaware of the movie’s official release date, asked “El Dominican Dreamboat” if he “saw a bootleg Park Road version” of the film, adding, “I get a lot of CDs and DVDs from there.”; the three triples by Dionicio (2) and Maule (1) were two more than the team had over the course of the entire regular season campaign (Barsa’s triple against Bristol was Connecticut’s only three-bagger of the regular season); Barsa took complete credit for Dionicio’s outstanding offense, telling the player who put the “Grrr” in free-swinger before game two to, “set a small strike zone and only look for fastballs.”…who knew it was so simple?!; McDowell was the only Cannon thrown out by Hare, earning him the new nickname “Louisiana Deceptively Slow”; McDowell and wife Barbara celebrated their twelfth anniversary on Saturday (“Drew Diesel” had to fight to attend the playoff pair but when he was asked about how this would impact night in New York City, the first baseman said, “I’m still gonna get some.”)…Adam “Bomb” Pallone and wife Laure celebrated their first anniversary over the weekend as well; for the first time, Newington native Barsa hosted teammates at a post-game party…Celio, DePalma, Luby, McGann, and Weber joined “T-Rex” at his bachelor pad (Barsa has offered use of his deck after next weekend’s win as well); several players visited Plan B, The Spigot, and the rooftop at The Elbow Room after the sweep (all three are official sponsors of the 2009 Connecticut Cannons playoffs)…bring out the brooms again: Managers Celio and Weber swept a pair from Barsa and DePalma in darts…McGann informed teammates that, “If I can fit a girl’s full butt in my hand, I’m down with it.”…McGann also alerted all interested parties that he is not a huge fan of anal sex, saying, “I’d go with one of the other holes, not specific, that’s just the way it goes.”…“The Mayor of Manville” became even less likely to “Go Greek” after he heard that Farrah Fawcett’s cancer might have been caused by backdoor love…McGann, hit by Hartford’s Kevin Rival early in the season, promises retribution, expecting “big damage” from himself and the rest of the Cannons offense; Drew “Breakfast Club” Clarke, a Cannons cast-off picked up by the Capitals in May, allowed just one run in five-plus innings against the Torr-Winchester Rifles in the second game of their Wild Card weekend series (the Little Guns got to Caps relievers for eleven in the sixth after Clarke ran out of gas)…Paul “Digger” Graves spoke with Celio on Saturday afternoon, saying, “You made a mistake in player personnel, bro. Drew threw ‘The Mesmerizer’ to us all day long. Trying to hit him is like trying to hit a fluttering moth.”…Newington, following a first game forfeit and with just nine players for game two, was forced to use the corpulent Clarke as a hitter…Graves added, “I don’t know if you’re a Star Wars fan, but I’ve never seen Jabba the Hutt run the bases before [Saturday].”…Winsted takes on Clinton, John “Fore” Skinner, and the rest of the second seeded Glastonbury G-Men in round two action on Saturday (Marlborough [3] hosts Windsor [6] while Suffield [4] is home against Bristol [5]); Mayne Man: Kenny “Mayne Street” Mayne, essence of ESPN, Avon resident, and close personal friend of Tom Luby, contacted Celio on Saturday after the wins with his intentions to join the Cannons in 2010: “I’m good for one inning of pitching per weekend. I’m there for my arm, not my bat.”…the pitcher plans to wear number 29 to which Celio replied, “Some people have great numbers, still others make numbers great,” invoking a Coach John Robinson reference to then Rams running back Eric Dickerson circa 1983…several Cannons hope that the Mayne signing will entice Baseball Tonight’s John Kruk to commit to the club, as all agreed he’d be fun to drink with…Mayne’s book, An Incomplete and Inaccurate History of Sport, rated a 5-stars smash by reviewers at barnesandnoble.com is available on-line at a member’s discount of $19.96…Mayne would become the only Cannon to have appeared on Dancing With the Stars and would be the only player who Stacy Keibler’s lips have appeared on…I’m still trying!; the team has twenty-four tickets for a luxury box at Dodd Stadium in Norwich for a contest between the Akron Aeros and Connecticut Defenders for this Thursday (August 13) at 6:35…Barsa, DePalma, and McGann hope to compete in Can You Dig It?, a Sox Appeal-esque game show in which each player gets to lavish their love on the lovely Liz (she of man hands and meatloaf turkey fame), the object of McGann’s odd affections a few weeks back, for three innings each on Thursday evening…“PETA”—known to Liz as Mike “McCan’t” after his failed flirtations—is not pleased with the premise of the pilot episode: “I never thought I’d live to see the day Barsa wanted someone I rejected.”; fourteen of seventeen ballots for the 2009 Cannons Awards were received in the five days following the regular season finale (polls closed at 11:59 p.m. on Friday, August 7 and awards will be presented at Jocktoberfest ‘09…date and time TBA)…thank you for your votes!
8/8 Studs: the Connecticut Cannons: offense (25 runs on 27 hits, eleven of them for extra bases, along with 14 free passes), defense (1 insignificant error in Game Two after a flawless Game One), and pitching (1 run on 10 hits, only 4 free passes, 12 strike outs, 2 CG, 2 W); Balcerzak (5 for 7, 2 2B, 2 BB, 3 R, 2 RBI, 4 SB); Dionicio (5 for 6, 2B, 2 3B, HR—the first-ever Cannons cycle—4 R, 8 RBI in Game Two); Maule (5 for 7, 2 2B, 3B, 2 BB, 5 R, 4 RBI, 2 SB); Patenaude (7 IP, 0 R, 4 H, 6 K, 0 BB, CG shutout, W); Quinn (7 IP, 1 ER, 6 H, 6 K, CG, W)
8/8 Duds: the Eastern Connecticut Cubs, going from swept to inept in the matter of a fortnight
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
CAPITAL WON
Cannons Crush Caps In Battle of Newington
Newington, CT (AP)— What’s in your dugout? A whole lot and not nearly enough were the answers to that question on this first weekend of August—a month that has proven magical on many occasion for Connecticut’s Team—as the Cannons took on the cross town rival Capitals in the fourth edition of what has come to be known as the “Battle of Newington,” a perennial paean to big market baseball in central Connecticut’s leading media market. The Cannons entered the final Sunday of the CNMSBL A Division’s regular season playing what Manager Matt Celio referred to as “must-win games”—“For our seeding purposes and our psyche,” following a duo of difficult defeats at the hands of the ninth seeded Eastern Connecticut Cubs last Sunday—and emerged victorious not once but twice, 12-4 and 15-2 via the mercy rule, on the backs of an offensive onslaught and potent pitching performances, emphatically ending a season-worst three-game slide with a Wild Card series at home against the Baby Bears looming this Saturday.
Game One saw the return of starter Mike Patenaude after a one-week layoff in a mismatch against Mike “Fish” Karp. After a brief fifteen minute delay during which the Caps scrambled to find a ninth player, Patenaude, pitching with increased confidence as battery-mate Kevin Quinn returned from a month-long absence, was touched for an unearned run in the first as Colwyn Krol reached on an error and eventually scored on Tony Malinosky’s ground out to short for a brief one-run advantage for the visitors. Chomping at the proverbial bit, Connecticut clicked offensively as Jason Maule walked, Leo Dionicio singled, and Bill Balcerzak doubled both home before Newington could record an out. Celio’s single scored “Billy Bush” later in the frame and the Cannons took the field with a 3-1 lead, one they would never relinquish. Patenaude set down the Caps in order in the second and the home team poured in four more runs as Chris Barsa coasted into second with a double, Kevin Quinn singled and stole second (Barsa, who had moved up ninety feet on the hit, scampered home for his team-leading second theft of the dish), Maule walked for the second time in as many innings, Dionicio added another base hit, and Balcerzak chipped in with a run-scoring fielder’s choice (like “T-Rex,” Quinn and Dionicio scored in the inning without the aid of a hit, making the score 7-1). Patenaude, working on a new off-speed pitch, allowed three runs in the third as Robert “I Am the Cheese” Cormier had a base hit, Champ Cristilli was hit by a pitch, Al Czervik poked an RBI knock, and Dave Sacco placed a seeing-eye single just out of reach of Dionicio at second with two down to cut the Cannons lead to 3, but the Cannons added an insurance run in the third as Josh Svoboda doubled and scored on a Mike McGann single, and three more in the fourth as McDowell and Tom Clark walked, Celio blooped a run-scoring single just out of reach of Cormier at short, and Svoboda, Barsa, and Quinn followed with bases on balls (Clark and Celio both rambled home on passed balls pushing the lead to 11-4 as Cristilli “used the ball as a pillow,” laying on McGann’s grounder up the middle to escape any further harm a la Mike Weber in the famous “grenade incident” of ‘05). After his twenty-eight pitch performance in the third, Patenaude (7 IP, 4 R, 3 ER, 5 H, 1 BB, 1 HBP, 7 K) faced just fourteen batters over the final four frames—a Balcerzak to Quinn play at the plate was the highlight—throwing forty-four pitches to land squarely on the century mark. The pitcher helped his own cause in the sixth, singling in his only regular season at-bat and scoring on Quinn’s base hit for the final tally in a 12-4 contest. “It’s great to get a win without the end result ever really being in doubt,” said the fifty-three year old lefty of the Cannons’ performance. “The team came to play today and twelve runs makes a pitcher’s job easy. Hopefully the guys can get even more in Game Two.” The offense would oblige.
Game Two pitted Quinn against Czervik and Connecticut’s well-rested righty was instantly up to the task, striking out the first two batters he faced while Jim Yanosy made a nice running grab on the left field line to end the inning (before leaving the park, Patenaude deadpanned, “I’ll go into early retirement if Quinn strikes out the side.” Barsa immediately expressed his wishes, “Please strike this third guy out,” while Celio uttered under his breath, “I wouldn’t necessarily call that retirement early.”). The Cannons then hung another early three-spot on the Capitals in the home half of the first as Maule doubled, Dionicio had a RBI single (he would later score on a passed ball), McDowell walked, stole second, and eventually scored through the back door as Svoboda punched a pitch to the right side. Quinn made quick work of the Caps in the second, allowing only a two-out walk to Sacco, and the Cannons were back at it, scoring six runs in the inning while sending ten batters to the plate. Quinn started things with a base hit, Adam Pallone took a base on balls, Rob DePalma dropped a run-singled on the outfield grass, and Yanosy walked to re-load the bases. Pallone scored as a ball squirted away from Texas native and wanna be Cannon Muney “4” Spendlin (Sacco said of the Game Two catcher, “The guy throws like he’s missing fingers.”). A one-run Maule single, a two-run Dionicio double, and a sacrifice fly by McDowell put Connecticut on top nine nothing after two, and the team was clearly thinking mercy rule as clouds closed in on New Cannon Yards. Newington scored an unearned run in the third as Celio failed to scoop a low Svoboda throw but more Cannons’ offense in the bottom of the frame made what was already a laugher into a gut-buster. Ten more batters stepped into the box against a visibly laboring Czervik as Quinn once again started the rally, this time taking a hit by pitch. Pallone and DePalma both worked their way on via walks and Yanosy hit a ball in the hole at short that failed to net a throw for a RBI. Maule singled scoring Pallone, Clark (as a courtesy runner for DePalma) scored on a passed ball, Dionicio ripped a run-scoring single, and Balcerzak reached on an error plating Maule with the fourteenth Cannons run. Quinn (4 IP, 1 R, 0 ER, 4 H, 1 BB, 6 K) allowed a single in the fourth before striking out the final two batters he faced, a perfect complimentary bookend to the start of the game. Connecticut added its final run of the contest as Clark doubled and scored on a Pallone sacrifice fly to make the score 15-1. Barsa (1 IP, 1 R, 0 ER, 0H, 2 BB), in his first ever A Division pitching performance, entered with battery-mate Dionicio, giving up only an unearned run when Celio squandered another scoop opportunity from Svoboda (“They don’t make a glove big enough for Celio,” joked McGann after the game) but the outcome was a forgone conclusion at that point and a ground ball back to the mound put the finishing touches on the most lopsided win in Cannons history at the upper level. “We have the potential to be the best the CNMSBL A Division has to offer which is what our players and fans have expected since Opening Day back in April,” Celio stated to members of the media. “We’re starting to come together in all phases of the game and we showed what kind of team we can be: we got solid contributions from everybody out there today and that is what has made us successful in the past and will be the key to a long postseason run over the next four weekends. We’re playing with the consistency and confidence that has been a trademark of Cannons Baseball over the past few seasons, especially at this time of year. I’m extremely excited about our prospects in the upcoming playoffs.”
Give the Caps credit: they still show up, lace up, and step up, even as fans and foes alike throw up at their pathetically paltry 1-21 mark. But this nearly bankrupt ballclub is not up to the challenge offered by the Cannons or any of their other A Division opponents. The Battle of Newington resoundingly fell in the Cannons favor but the biggest battles of the 2009 CNMSBL’s season-long war are visible on the sun-hazed horizon. The Connecticut Cannons are clearly loaded—not only as a result of post-game partying—and it seems a fire has finally been set to the fuse as the eighth month officially gets under way. The time for this team to explode on the rest of the A Division is now. Every eye in the baseball world will be focused on Newington, the Connecticut Cannons, and their upcoming quest for immortality this weekend. Does this team have not only the firepower but the intestinal (and testicular) fortitude to compete for and ultimately capture the CNMSBL Championship and the highly-coveted Clarke-Clinton Trophy in 2009? If Sunday was any indication, then the answer is a resounding YES! An opening round rematch against the ninth-seeded Eastern Connecticut Cubs, 7-15 and owners of a season series sweep against the Cannons on July 26, this Saturday (10:00 a.m.) marks the beginning of what should be an epic journey on the road to greatness. Talk is cheep: a statement needs to be made, payback is going to be a b***h, and the payment will undoubtedly be made in full! “Let’s shove it up their a***s,” Weber whooped on his weekly radio call-in program, Worldwide Web. Tickets for the first and second games on what sports fans call the CNMSBL’s Super Saturday are already sold out. If you’re lucky enough to have a set, pick up your balls and load up your Cannons for a twenty-one gun salute. For those about to rock the A Division playoffs, we salute you. Ready! AIM! FIRE! Let the hunt for BLUE August begin.
Cannons News and Notes: Bulletin board material: Eastern Connecticut Matt Cook wondered aloud to Celio as the Managers exchanged Game Two line-ups, “Where’s your cute, little blonde lefty?” in reference to an absent Patenaude; for the second consecutive campaign Connecticut crushed its all-time A Division best win total, notching its ninth regular season win on Sunday…the team’s 5-5 mark at New Cannon Yards is the best in three seasons at the facility; the Cannons took the season series from the Capitals for the third season in a row, a string of six straight victories (on the season, Connecticut won series from Bristol and Newington, split with Suffield and Winsted, and lost series to Eastern Connecticut, Hartford, and Windsor); Celio used a red Cannons Baseball pencil for the first time this season and it was a lucky thing he sharpened it before the game as the team exploded for 27 runs on 22 hits…as a result, the Cannons’ batting averaged rose significantly to an even .300 (five percentage points higher than last season’s A Division-best) to close out the regular season, a sign the team is heating up at the right time yet again (the overall opponents’ average dipped eight points to a pedestrian .268)…Connecticut has 165 total hits—30 more than last season—while the opposition has just 146…Dionicio had the 500th at-bat of the season, a Game One first inning single (one of six hits on the day for “El Dominican Dreamboat”)…the Cannons were outscored slightly on the regular season 113 to 107; Iron Man: Balcerzak became the first Cannon in two seasons to play in all of the team’s games; Celio and Pallone each played in his eighth game of the campaign on Sunday, joining Balcerzak, Barsa, Clark, DePalma, Dionicio, Tom Luby, Maule, McDowell, McGann, Patenaude, Quinn, Svoboda, Weber, and Yanosy in 2009 postseason eligibility; McGann (10 hits) and Quinn (12) entered the exclusive double-digit hit club on Sunday, coupled with Balcerzak (26), Maule (26…15 doubles), Dionicio (24), Luby (14), and McDowell (11) as Cannons to reach the ten-hit plateau; Patenaude (1.000), Maule (.520), Dionicio (.429), Balcerzak (.413), Quinn (.343), Celio (.333), and Barsa (.310) are the seven Cannon hitters currently with batting averages above .300 on the season (five Cannons are presently under the Mendoza Line); Maule led the team in seven of thirteen offensive statistical categories (doubles, runs, batting average, on-base percentage, slugging percentage, on-base + slugging percentage, and was tied for the lead in hits…the speedy centerfielder leads in eleven all-time A Division categories and is second in at-bats [190] to Dionicio [192])…Balcerzak was a leader in four categories (home runs, runs batted in, at-bats, and tied Maule in hits)…Celio’s 28 hits in the inaugural 2001 campaign are still a single-season high; Barsa’s triple against Bristol was the team’s only three-bagger of the campaign; McDowell’s 12 walks/hit by pitches were good for the team lead (he was the only player to reach double digits); Celio and Patenaude were the only players with a plate appearance who did not strike out on the season; Patenaude’s 5 wins on the season are a team A Division-best (“The Old Man of the ‘C’” is 24-28 in his regular season career with the Cannons)…the lefty posted a team-best 2:1 strike out to walk ratio; Quinn’s led the team on the season with an impressive 1.87 ERA; in passing the plate on Sunday, Celio took over the team’s all-time lead in runs scored (74), breaking a tie with “Father of Cannons Baseball” Andy Borst (the two original Cannons share the team mark with 43 free passes apiece); Maule’s 15 ’09 doubles give him 33 on his career, passing Celio and Luby for the team record (Celio and Luby are still one and two on the Cannons’ hit list with 132 and 129 respectively)…the centerfielder played in seventeen games and scored a first inning run in twelve of them, including nine of ten at home; Luby’s 11 homers and 90 RBI are both team bests; Weber’s 389 at-bats are the most ever for a Cannon; after his fourth strike out—one as he dropped his elbow into the strike zone…for the second time on Sunday and third time in two weeks—against inferior pitching, McDowell took off his shirt, stating simply, “I’m out.”…teammates told the “Ragin’ Cajun” that he was “Pulling a Checo,” a reference to the released rookie’s antics against Windsor; Brokeback Bally: in more dugout high jinx, Dionicio and Pallone discussed weird workouts as Clark chirped, “What, like guys spotting you with their balls in your mouth?”…Dionicio reflected and responded, “That actually happened to me. I was putting up 225 and the dude squatted right over my face. I cancelled my membership that afternoon…after doing several more sets. I’m just a gay magnet. If I was only half as lucky with the ladies, I’d be all set.”; former Cannon Drew Clarke started five games on the mound for the pitching-starved Capitals after his May release; Umpire Tom Garro is still under the incorrect assumption that Celio and Weber—this should be a major tip-off—are brothers, to which Weber offered the following witticism: “Brothers? We’re white.” (the gregarious Garro also recycled his boring Barsa bit—“Barsa’s got two strikes on him when he steps into the box,” et al—which is about as fresh as the Twinkee John McClane fired down in Die Hard circa 1988…the second mention of the Bruce Willis vehicle in as many weekends); on Sunday, Svoboda informed members of the media of his engagement…congrats Josh!; Celio hosted teammates in a regular season wrap-up after the games…Barsa, Balcerzak, Clark, DePalma, Dionicio, McGann, and Weber joined the Manager in West Hartford at Cannons World Headquarters; the ever-up front DePalma, perhaps most notably known for his inability to shoot his guy goo, showed teammates a picture of his forty year old female friend…Balcerzak took one look at the photo of the buxom blonde and said simply, “Hey Rob, I just shot right now.”; Clark, nostalgic for the past, tuned in to Scooby-Doo—“the one where Velma loses her glasses”—as Celio and McGann discussed his bombed blind date from the previous Monday (“Marty McFly” McGann hopes to purchase a DeLorean and outfit it with a Flux Capacitor in order to experience a Back to the Future-esque do-over of last Monday’s drunken debacle of a date…“I’m cute in a cute way,” said the Cannons double lead-off); Barsa and DePalma offered up ideas for the newest Cannons game show, with the two teammates joining McGann in a Dating Game-style scenario, competing for the affections of ladies from around the state (Clark’s response to the pitch: “Barsa, you have a good job. Go get a hooker, f**k a slut, leave ‘em happy. Don’t involve your friends. Leave us alone! You’re want what we married guys have but you only want to pay for one night out. I’m paying for the ring, the house, the kids, you name it.”)…in Boston last weekend, “C.W. Post” Barsa, a new nickname for the “serial” dater, attempted to set McGann up…with his own date…McGann’s three word rebuttal: “Barsa’s a douche.” (“Man on Fire” Clark, consuming a quadruple Red Bull and vodka, continued, “McGann’s a momma’s boy. Barsa’s a male slut. Pick your poison ladies: ten overly-involved family members versus ten venereal diseases,” and punched McGann in his package, twice, as “PETA” pulled the pop-tops on his beers)…instead of celebrating with teammates, McGann spent several hours locked in Celio’s bedroom accessing his all-important Facebook account…Clark’s response to the evening event’s: “Thanks for getting me cocked up and full of food. Hope I didn’t step on too many toes. I can be a dick…I guess it’s a gift!”; Patenaude, not known as a partier, e-mailed World Headquarters with the following bit of Irish wisdom: “Keep the beer flowing…it’s the only thing that brings hope.”; former Cannon and current Boston Brave Craig Perrier is batting .500 (20 for 40) and is currently in the top five in batting average in his MA league; it’s officially August: a reminder The Elbow Room, Plan B, and The Spigot, are now joined by Cocoa Kitchen and Bar as official sponsors of the 2009 Connecticut Cannons playoffs and a Friday evening fan fest is in the works; the team has twenty-four tickets for a luxury box at Dodd Stadium in Norwich for a contest between the Akron Aeros and Connecticut Defenders on Thursday, August 13; ballots for the 2009 Cannons Awards were issued to voters early Monday morning (2:45 a.m.)…polls are currently open—four full ballots have already been cast—and will remain so until 11:59 p.m. on Friday, August 7…Choose or Lose!
8/2 Studs: Dionicio (6 for 7, 2B, 4 R, 4 RBI, 2 SB); Maule (3 for 5, 2B, 2 BB, 5 R, 2 RBI, SB); Patenaude (1 for 1, R; 7 IP, 3 ER, 5 H, 7 K, CG, W); Quinn (3 for 4, 2 BB, HBP, 3 R, RBI; 4 IP, 0 ER, 4 H, 6 K, W)
8/2 Duds: the Newington Capitals (1-21; .045 winning percentage in ‘09)
Cannons Crush Caps In Battle of Newington
Newington, CT (AP)— What’s in your dugout? A whole lot and not nearly enough were the answers to that question on this first weekend of August—a month that has proven magical on many occasion for Connecticut’s Team—as the Cannons took on the cross town rival Capitals in the fourth edition of what has come to be known as the “Battle of Newington,” a perennial paean to big market baseball in central Connecticut’s leading media market. The Cannons entered the final Sunday of the CNMSBL A Division’s regular season playing what Manager Matt Celio referred to as “must-win games”—“For our seeding purposes and our psyche,” following a duo of difficult defeats at the hands of the ninth seeded Eastern Connecticut Cubs last Sunday—and emerged victorious not once but twice, 12-4 and 15-2 via the mercy rule, on the backs of an offensive onslaught and potent pitching performances, emphatically ending a season-worst three-game slide with a Wild Card series at home against the Baby Bears looming this Saturday.
Game One saw the return of starter Mike Patenaude after a one-week layoff in a mismatch against Mike “Fish” Karp. After a brief fifteen minute delay during which the Caps scrambled to find a ninth player, Patenaude, pitching with increased confidence as battery-mate Kevin Quinn returned from a month-long absence, was touched for an unearned run in the first as Colwyn Krol reached on an error and eventually scored on Tony Malinosky’s ground out to short for a brief one-run advantage for the visitors. Chomping at the proverbial bit, Connecticut clicked offensively as Jason Maule walked, Leo Dionicio singled, and Bill Balcerzak doubled both home before Newington could record an out. Celio’s single scored “Billy Bush” later in the frame and the Cannons took the field with a 3-1 lead, one they would never relinquish. Patenaude set down the Caps in order in the second and the home team poured in four more runs as Chris Barsa coasted into second with a double, Kevin Quinn singled and stole second (Barsa, who had moved up ninety feet on the hit, scampered home for his team-leading second theft of the dish), Maule walked for the second time in as many innings, Dionicio added another base hit, and Balcerzak chipped in with a run-scoring fielder’s choice (like “T-Rex,” Quinn and Dionicio scored in the inning without the aid of a hit, making the score 7-1). Patenaude, working on a new off-speed pitch, allowed three runs in the third as Robert “I Am the Cheese” Cormier had a base hit, Champ Cristilli was hit by a pitch, Al Czervik poked an RBI knock, and Dave Sacco placed a seeing-eye single just out of reach of Dionicio at second with two down to cut the Cannons lead to 3, but the Cannons added an insurance run in the third as Josh Svoboda doubled and scored on a Mike McGann single, and three more in the fourth as McDowell and Tom Clark walked, Celio blooped a run-scoring single just out of reach of Cormier at short, and Svoboda, Barsa, and Quinn followed with bases on balls (Clark and Celio both rambled home on passed balls pushing the lead to 11-4 as Cristilli “used the ball as a pillow,” laying on McGann’s grounder up the middle to escape any further harm a la Mike Weber in the famous “grenade incident” of ‘05). After his twenty-eight pitch performance in the third, Patenaude (7 IP, 4 R, 3 ER, 5 H, 1 BB, 1 HBP, 7 K) faced just fourteen batters over the final four frames—a Balcerzak to Quinn play at the plate was the highlight—throwing forty-four pitches to land squarely on the century mark. The pitcher helped his own cause in the sixth, singling in his only regular season at-bat and scoring on Quinn’s base hit for the final tally in a 12-4 contest. “It’s great to get a win without the end result ever really being in doubt,” said the fifty-three year old lefty of the Cannons’ performance. “The team came to play today and twelve runs makes a pitcher’s job easy. Hopefully the guys can get even more in Game Two.” The offense would oblige.
Game Two pitted Quinn against Czervik and Connecticut’s well-rested righty was instantly up to the task, striking out the first two batters he faced while Jim Yanosy made a nice running grab on the left field line to end the inning (before leaving the park, Patenaude deadpanned, “I’ll go into early retirement if Quinn strikes out the side.” Barsa immediately expressed his wishes, “Please strike this third guy out,” while Celio uttered under his breath, “I wouldn’t necessarily call that retirement early.”). The Cannons then hung another early three-spot on the Capitals in the home half of the first as Maule doubled, Dionicio had a RBI single (he would later score on a passed ball), McDowell walked, stole second, and eventually scored through the back door as Svoboda punched a pitch to the right side. Quinn made quick work of the Caps in the second, allowing only a two-out walk to Sacco, and the Cannons were back at it, scoring six runs in the inning while sending ten batters to the plate. Quinn started things with a base hit, Adam Pallone took a base on balls, Rob DePalma dropped a run-singled on the outfield grass, and Yanosy walked to re-load the bases. Pallone scored as a ball squirted away from Texas native and wanna be Cannon Muney “4” Spendlin (Sacco said of the Game Two catcher, “The guy throws like he’s missing fingers.”). A one-run Maule single, a two-run Dionicio double, and a sacrifice fly by McDowell put Connecticut on top nine nothing after two, and the team was clearly thinking mercy rule as clouds closed in on New Cannon Yards. Newington scored an unearned run in the third as Celio failed to scoop a low Svoboda throw but more Cannons’ offense in the bottom of the frame made what was already a laugher into a gut-buster. Ten more batters stepped into the box against a visibly laboring Czervik as Quinn once again started the rally, this time taking a hit by pitch. Pallone and DePalma both worked their way on via walks and Yanosy hit a ball in the hole at short that failed to net a throw for a RBI. Maule singled scoring Pallone, Clark (as a courtesy runner for DePalma) scored on a passed ball, Dionicio ripped a run-scoring single, and Balcerzak reached on an error plating Maule with the fourteenth Cannons run. Quinn (4 IP, 1 R, 0 ER, 4 H, 1 BB, 6 K) allowed a single in the fourth before striking out the final two batters he faced, a perfect complimentary bookend to the start of the game. Connecticut added its final run of the contest as Clark doubled and scored on a Pallone sacrifice fly to make the score 15-1. Barsa (1 IP, 1 R, 0 ER, 0H, 2 BB), in his first ever A Division pitching performance, entered with battery-mate Dionicio, giving up only an unearned run when Celio squandered another scoop opportunity from Svoboda (“They don’t make a glove big enough for Celio,” joked McGann after the game) but the outcome was a forgone conclusion at that point and a ground ball back to the mound put the finishing touches on the most lopsided win in Cannons history at the upper level. “We have the potential to be the best the CNMSBL A Division has to offer which is what our players and fans have expected since Opening Day back in April,” Celio stated to members of the media. “We’re starting to come together in all phases of the game and we showed what kind of team we can be: we got solid contributions from everybody out there today and that is what has made us successful in the past and will be the key to a long postseason run over the next four weekends. We’re playing with the consistency and confidence that has been a trademark of Cannons Baseball over the past few seasons, especially at this time of year. I’m extremely excited about our prospects in the upcoming playoffs.”
Give the Caps credit: they still show up, lace up, and step up, even as fans and foes alike throw up at their pathetically paltry 1-21 mark. But this nearly bankrupt ballclub is not up to the challenge offered by the Cannons or any of their other A Division opponents. The Battle of Newington resoundingly fell in the Cannons favor but the biggest battles of the 2009 CNMSBL’s season-long war are visible on the sun-hazed horizon. The Connecticut Cannons are clearly loaded—not only as a result of post-game partying—and it seems a fire has finally been set to the fuse as the eighth month officially gets under way. The time for this team to explode on the rest of the A Division is now. Every eye in the baseball world will be focused on Newington, the Connecticut Cannons, and their upcoming quest for immortality this weekend. Does this team have not only the firepower but the intestinal (and testicular) fortitude to compete for and ultimately capture the CNMSBL Championship and the highly-coveted Clarke-Clinton Trophy in 2009? If Sunday was any indication, then the answer is a resounding YES! An opening round rematch against the ninth-seeded Eastern Connecticut Cubs, 7-15 and owners of a season series sweep against the Cannons on July 26, this Saturday (10:00 a.m.) marks the beginning of what should be an epic journey on the road to greatness. Talk is cheep: a statement needs to be made, payback is going to be a b***h, and the payment will undoubtedly be made in full! “Let’s shove it up their a***s,” Weber whooped on his weekly radio call-in program, Worldwide Web. Tickets for the first and second games on what sports fans call the CNMSBL’s Super Saturday are already sold out. If you’re lucky enough to have a set, pick up your balls and load up your Cannons for a twenty-one gun salute. For those about to rock the A Division playoffs, we salute you. Ready! AIM! FIRE! Let the hunt for BLUE August begin.
Cannons News and Notes: Bulletin board material: Eastern Connecticut Matt Cook wondered aloud to Celio as the Managers exchanged Game Two line-ups, “Where’s your cute, little blonde lefty?” in reference to an absent Patenaude; for the second consecutive campaign Connecticut crushed its all-time A Division best win total, notching its ninth regular season win on Sunday…the team’s 5-5 mark at New Cannon Yards is the best in three seasons at the facility; the Cannons took the season series from the Capitals for the third season in a row, a string of six straight victories (on the season, Connecticut won series from Bristol and Newington, split with Suffield and Winsted, and lost series to Eastern Connecticut, Hartford, and Windsor); Celio used a red Cannons Baseball pencil for the first time this season and it was a lucky thing he sharpened it before the game as the team exploded for 27 runs on 22 hits…as a result, the Cannons’ batting averaged rose significantly to an even .300 (five percentage points higher than last season’s A Division-best) to close out the regular season, a sign the team is heating up at the right time yet again (the overall opponents’ average dipped eight points to a pedestrian .268)…Connecticut has 165 total hits—30 more than last season—while the opposition has just 146…Dionicio had the 500th at-bat of the season, a Game One first inning single (one of six hits on the day for “El Dominican Dreamboat”)…the Cannons were outscored slightly on the regular season 113 to 107; Iron Man: Balcerzak became the first Cannon in two seasons to play in all of the team’s games; Celio and Pallone each played in his eighth game of the campaign on Sunday, joining Balcerzak, Barsa, Clark, DePalma, Dionicio, Tom Luby, Maule, McDowell, McGann, Patenaude, Quinn, Svoboda, Weber, and Yanosy in 2009 postseason eligibility; McGann (10 hits) and Quinn (12) entered the exclusive double-digit hit club on Sunday, coupled with Balcerzak (26), Maule (26…15 doubles), Dionicio (24), Luby (14), and McDowell (11) as Cannons to reach the ten-hit plateau; Patenaude (1.000), Maule (.520), Dionicio (.429), Balcerzak (.413), Quinn (.343), Celio (.333), and Barsa (.310) are the seven Cannon hitters currently with batting averages above .300 on the season (five Cannons are presently under the Mendoza Line); Maule led the team in seven of thirteen offensive statistical categories (doubles, runs, batting average, on-base percentage, slugging percentage, on-base + slugging percentage, and was tied for the lead in hits…the speedy centerfielder leads in eleven all-time A Division categories and is second in at-bats [190] to Dionicio [192])…Balcerzak was a leader in four categories (home runs, runs batted in, at-bats, and tied Maule in hits)…Celio’s 28 hits in the inaugural 2001 campaign are still a single-season high; Barsa’s triple against Bristol was the team’s only three-bagger of the campaign; McDowell’s 12 walks/hit by pitches were good for the team lead (he was the only player to reach double digits); Celio and Patenaude were the only players with a plate appearance who did not strike out on the season; Patenaude’s 5 wins on the season are a team A Division-best (“The Old Man of the ‘C’” is 24-28 in his regular season career with the Cannons)…the lefty posted a team-best 2:1 strike out to walk ratio; Quinn’s led the team on the season with an impressive 1.87 ERA; in passing the plate on Sunday, Celio took over the team’s all-time lead in runs scored (74), breaking a tie with “Father of Cannons Baseball” Andy Borst (the two original Cannons share the team mark with 43 free passes apiece); Maule’s 15 ’09 doubles give him 33 on his career, passing Celio and Luby for the team record (Celio and Luby are still one and two on the Cannons’ hit list with 132 and 129 respectively)…the centerfielder played in seventeen games and scored a first inning run in twelve of them, including nine of ten at home; Luby’s 11 homers and 90 RBI are both team bests; Weber’s 389 at-bats are the most ever for a Cannon; after his fourth strike out—one as he dropped his elbow into the strike zone…for the second time on Sunday and third time in two weeks—against inferior pitching, McDowell took off his shirt, stating simply, “I’m out.”…teammates told the “Ragin’ Cajun” that he was “Pulling a Checo,” a reference to the released rookie’s antics against Windsor; Brokeback Bally: in more dugout high jinx, Dionicio and Pallone discussed weird workouts as Clark chirped, “What, like guys spotting you with their balls in your mouth?”…Dionicio reflected and responded, “That actually happened to me. I was putting up 225 and the dude squatted right over my face. I cancelled my membership that afternoon…after doing several more sets. I’m just a gay magnet. If I was only half as lucky with the ladies, I’d be all set.”; former Cannon Drew Clarke started five games on the mound for the pitching-starved Capitals after his May release; Umpire Tom Garro is still under the incorrect assumption that Celio and Weber—this should be a major tip-off—are brothers, to which Weber offered the following witticism: “Brothers? We’re white.” (the gregarious Garro also recycled his boring Barsa bit—“Barsa’s got two strikes on him when he steps into the box,” et al—which is about as fresh as the Twinkee John McClane fired down in Die Hard circa 1988…the second mention of the Bruce Willis vehicle in as many weekends); on Sunday, Svoboda informed members of the media of his engagement…congrats Josh!; Celio hosted teammates in a regular season wrap-up after the games…Barsa, Balcerzak, Clark, DePalma, Dionicio, McGann, and Weber joined the Manager in West Hartford at Cannons World Headquarters; the ever-up front DePalma, perhaps most notably known for his inability to shoot his guy goo, showed teammates a picture of his forty year old female friend…Balcerzak took one look at the photo of the buxom blonde and said simply, “Hey Rob, I just shot right now.”; Clark, nostalgic for the past, tuned in to Scooby-Doo—“the one where Velma loses her glasses”—as Celio and McGann discussed his bombed blind date from the previous Monday (“Marty McFly” McGann hopes to purchase a DeLorean and outfit it with a Flux Capacitor in order to experience a Back to the Future-esque do-over of last Monday’s drunken debacle of a date…“I’m cute in a cute way,” said the Cannons double lead-off); Barsa and DePalma offered up ideas for the newest Cannons game show, with the two teammates joining McGann in a Dating Game-style scenario, competing for the affections of ladies from around the state (Clark’s response to the pitch: “Barsa, you have a good job. Go get a hooker, f**k a slut, leave ‘em happy. Don’t involve your friends. Leave us alone! You’re want what we married guys have but you only want to pay for one night out. I’m paying for the ring, the house, the kids, you name it.”)…in Boston last weekend, “C.W. Post” Barsa, a new nickname for the “serial” dater, attempted to set McGann up…with his own date…McGann’s three word rebuttal: “Barsa’s a douche.” (“Man on Fire” Clark, consuming a quadruple Red Bull and vodka, continued, “McGann’s a momma’s boy. Barsa’s a male slut. Pick your poison ladies: ten overly-involved family members versus ten venereal diseases,” and punched McGann in his package, twice, as “PETA” pulled the pop-tops on his beers)…instead of celebrating with teammates, McGann spent several hours locked in Celio’s bedroom accessing his all-important Facebook account…Clark’s response to the evening event’s: “Thanks for getting me cocked up and full of food. Hope I didn’t step on too many toes. I can be a dick…I guess it’s a gift!”; Patenaude, not known as a partier, e-mailed World Headquarters with the following bit of Irish wisdom: “Keep the beer flowing…it’s the only thing that brings hope.”; former Cannon and current Boston Brave Craig Perrier is batting .500 (20 for 40) and is currently in the top five in batting average in his MA league; it’s officially August: a reminder The Elbow Room, Plan B, and The Spigot, are now joined by Cocoa Kitchen and Bar as official sponsors of the 2009 Connecticut Cannons playoffs and a Friday evening fan fest is in the works; the team has twenty-four tickets for a luxury box at Dodd Stadium in Norwich for a contest between the Akron Aeros and Connecticut Defenders on Thursday, August 13; ballots for the 2009 Cannons Awards were issued to voters early Monday morning (2:45 a.m.)…polls are currently open—four full ballots have already been cast—and will remain so until 11:59 p.m. on Friday, August 7…Choose or Lose!
8/2 Studs: Dionicio (6 for 7, 2B, 4 R, 4 RBI, 2 SB); Maule (3 for 5, 2B, 2 BB, 5 R, 2 RBI, SB); Patenaude (1 for 1, R; 7 IP, 3 ER, 5 H, 7 K, CG, W); Quinn (3 for 4, 2 BB, HBP, 3 R, RBI; 4 IP, 0 ER, 4 H, 6 K, W)
8/2 Duds: the Newington Capitals (1-21; .045 winning percentage in ‘09)
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