WOOD-BLOCK
Championship Run Cut Short As Nats Send Cannons Home For Season With Saturday Sweep
West Hartford, CT (AP)—Forty years ago this past weekend, an alfalfa field on Max Yasgur’s small dairy farm in rural Bethel, New York played host to thirty-two acts and over 300,000 audience members who counteracted the elements—wild weather, food shortages, poor sanitation—with good vibes, celebrating “3 Days of Peace and Music” in what is now widely regarded as one of the most pivotal moments in popular music history: Woodstock. Legendary rockers like Santana, The Grateful Dead, Credence Clearwater Revival, The Who, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, and The Jimi Hendrix Experience descended upon this pastoral patch of land as the 60s slipped inexorably toward the 70s on a song. At Old Cannon Yards in West Hartford this past weekend, the Connecticut Cannons hoped to make more beautiful baseball music, looking to unleash the lumber for a second straight Saturday in search of that elusive first-ever CNMSBL A Division Championship. Yet, the magical melody never materialized—a “flower” power outage aptly applied to the offensive output—as the top-seeded Hartford Nationals dispatched eighth-seeded Connecticut in straight sets, a 3-2 heartbreaker and a 13-1 backbreaker that signaled the end of another season for the Boys in Blue. Manager Matt Celio’s spoke with members of the media at Cannons World Headquarters on Sunday afternoon, and although the initial shock of an abrupt ending was apparent, his upbeat utterings reflected the team’s forward thinking as a whole: “Though the season is over, in no way can 2009 be categorized as a failure. It’s disappointing to be done after the Divisional Series because we had enough pieces of the puzzle to win, but that doesn’t change the fact that this is by far the most talent we’ve ever assembled and the team is in great shape moving forward. We made amazing strides as a team and I am confident we will continue to do so in 2010 and beyond. The core of Cannons Baseball remains intact, with sixteen ’09 roster invitees under contact through the 2011 season, so we’ll reload and get ready to go from the beginning of April through the end of August, that’s a promise. Turn the hot stove dial up to high: next year’s champion will not be crowned for more than twelve months but that title will be won by the Cannons starting today. Another year of seasoning will make us instant favorites in the CNMSBL A Division tomorrow and for the foreseeable future. We are the team to beat in ’10 and you can print that in any and all publications. We’re putting the baseball world on notice.”
The Cannons returned to the familiar, comfy confines of Old Cannon Yards, Mike McGann’s favorite stadium in the CNMSBL, for the first time since 2006 to take on the Nationals in a game that matched Hartford’s David “Wild At Heart” Lynch against Connecticut’s ageless lefty Mike “Old Man of the ‘C’” Patenaude, making his tenth postseason appearance in A Division play. For the fifteenth time this season, Connecticut was able to push a first inning run across as Leo “Señor Cinco” Dionicio continued his torrid playoff pace with a two-out single and subsequent stolen base. Potent playoff performer Tom Luby followed with a run-scoring base hit down the leftfield line to put early pressure on the heavily favored Nats. However, a team doesn’t rack up sixteen regular season victories by accident, and the hard-hitting top of the Hartford line-up tied the ballgame in the home half of the frame as Anthony “Night Breed” Cacavale drove in lead-off batter David DeJesus, who had singled, to even the score at 1. Both starters settled in, though the Cannons constantly kept pressure on Lynch by putting runners in scoring position in every inning. Unfortunately, the Penn Gillette of the pitching mound was able to use smoke and mirrors, strike outs, and the occasional strong play to magically escape each instance unscathed. Instead it was the Nats who scored next when Jose Rosado and Basilio Ortiz belted back-to-back doubles with two down in the third to give the home team a one-run advantage. Patenaude kept the Nationals knockers in check, setting the team down in order in the fourth and fifth, and the Cannons were able to knot the score in the sixth as Chris “T-Rex” Barsa singled with one down, moved to third on Josh Svoboda’s double over the bag at third, and scored with some heads up base running when defensive replacement and former Cannon recruit Jimmy Gonzalez ranged to his left and bobbled a Kevin Quinn ground ball for an equalizing error. Connecticut managed to load the bases as McGann reached on a fielder’s choice and Jason Maule worked a walk, but Drew McDowell’s ground out to third ended the threat with the score tied at 2 and a wild bottom of the sixth would ensue. Guy “Sweetest Music This Side of Heaven” Lombardo singled to right and Rosado racked up his second big base hit to put to go-ahead run in scoring position with nobody down. Patenaude (6 IP, 3 R, 2 ER, 8 H, 1 K, 1 BB, 1 INT. BB) got a huge out as clean-up hitter Ortiz popped to McGann at short, but a passed ball bounding to the first base side of home during Cacavale’s at-bat moved both base runners up ninety feet. Patenaude put the Nats’ fifth batter on intentionally to load the bases and induced a one hop grounder to Luby at third, but the ball was misplayed for a run in the form of Lombardo. McGann tracked the ball to the outfield grass as Rosado rounded third and Cacavale followed around the bag at second as he looked to the lead runner for direction. The Cannons’ shortstop threw behind Cacavale to Dionicio at second and the tag was applied for out number two. Amid the mayhem, Rosado decided to test “El Professor de Punta Cana” but Dionicio fired a perfect strike to Quinn at the plate to cut down Rosado, keeping the lead at 1 going into the final frame. “El Dominican Dreamboat” singled and stole second to start the seventh but was stranded as the next three batters went in order and a golden opportunity to steal a game against a higher seed slipped by the wayside for the Cannons. “MP pitched a solid if not spectacular game against one of the best hitting line-ups this league has to offer and our defense was dynamite except for the single miscue, albeit a big one,” Weber voiced before vacating the visitors’ locker room (McGann and Adam “Bomb” Pallone were especially impressive filling gaps in the field). “Lynch dug himself a hole by getting behind batters but made every important pitch he had to, striking out eleven while leaving ten runners on base, so you’ve got to tip your cap to him. We had opportunities, didn’t come up with the big hits at the right moments, and it came back to haunt us. Jason [Maule] has been such a catalyst for us that we get spoiled and grow accustomed to his exploits: Hitting and scoring at will are second nature for him. You forget that this game is not as simple as he sometimes makes it look. It’s a lot of pressure, but often as Jason goes, we go. We’ll take our chances with that each and every weekend, but it just didn’t go our way today.”
In an elimination game as the home team, the Cannons turned to righty Kevin Quinn against Gonzalez of the Nationals and it was Hartford that drew first blood as lead-off batter DeJesus, a thorn in the side of Cannons pitchers throughout the day, reached on an error and stole second against Quinn and battery-mate Rob DePalma. A passed ball and an errant throw down the third base line allowed DeJesus to score and the Nats had a run without the benefit of a hit (Ortiz followed with a single so this may have been a moot point). In the bottom of the first, the Cannons once again put runners in scoring position as Maule walked and swiped second and Dionicio took free pass (a double steal would move the runners to second and third). Gonzalez, the Teller to Lynch’s Penn, got Luby to line out to Brian Austin Green at third and struck out Tom Clark to add to the Connecticut’s growing frustration. Hartford responded with three more runs in the top of the second against Quinn (1.1 IP, 4 R, 2 ER, 4 H, 1 K, 0 BB) as Will “Semi-Pro” Farrell, John “Issue Number One” McLaughlin, and DeJesus had singles sandwiched around a ball that was misplayed between Dionicio and Pallone off the bat of Gonzalez (the two came close to colliding as both went hard for a quickly falling ball; DePalma, feeling some ill effects from the heat, struggled to connect with Quinn and the Nationals repeatedly took advantage by moving up on several passed balls; Barsa joked afterwards, “For a big guy, Rob had a bad arm.”). Patenaude, sensing the tenor of the game, offered to reenter as a stopgap measure under the moniker “Mark” Patenaude, twin brother of “Mike,” and was able to set down Lombardo and Rosado without allowing any further damage, though it turns out the 4-0 edge was all Gonzalez would need. Connecticut loaded the bases in the second but was unable to break through and Hartford scored six runs—two in the third and four in the fourth, though only two of them were earned—against Patenaude (2.2 IP, 6 R, 2 ER, 6 H, 2 BB) as the fourth inning was extended because of another costly error at third and the bulge ballooned to 10 for the top-seed (Patenaude’s typical, “Oh well,” was all the lefthander could muster after throwing exactly 150 pitches on the day, though the “Sour Patch Kid” did give Luby “The Look” after his drop of the Cacavale line drive). Clark (2 IP, 3 R, 1 ER, 2 H, 1 BB) was also affected by porous play behind him as DeJesus, Lombardo, and Rosado all came around to score, the thirteenth and final run coming in the form of Rosado on a passed ball (“Somebody needs to dot ‘Rosy’ when we see them next season,” said Celio). The Cannons continued to squander opportunities to make a game of things as a bases loaded one-out rally in the fifth was averted on a line-drive double play off the bat of Luby—“The definition of our day,” mentioned Maule—while Pallone and Quinn singled but were left on base in the sixth. Luby (1 IP, 0 R, 0 H, 0 BB) pitched a perfect seventh and Celio brought the boys in for a last time in 2009, imploring his team to “win the inning.” Maule obliged, belting a bomb onto the junior varsity field and Connecticut loaded the bases yet again—ten more runners were left on base in game two—but Gonzalez was able to get Pallone looking to end the contest and the season for the Cannons. Weber wrapped up his postgame press conference thusly: “The four pitchers gave everything they had in conditions that were far from ideal (the mercury measured near 90° for much of this hot, humid day), and I wish we could have rewarded their efforts with a ‘W’ or two. Our offense, which has been so successful over the past two weekends, was far less effective against Hartford’s pitching staff and it’s all but impossible to beat these guys when you score just three runs over two games. Defensively, we didn’t get the job done when it mattered most, so we’ll spend the rest of the postseason at home trying to get better and making sure we don’t come up short next year. In my thinking, we lost these games in the regular season: Entering as an eight-seed, we were in the unenviable position of playing the one in the early going and that makes the road to the finals all the more difficult. We’ll get better and bring our ‘A’ game in 2010.” Celio stated: “Our guys gave it their all out there today and over the course of the entire campaign. I’m very proud of this ball club and what we accomplished this season. We’re heading in the right direction and that’s something for us to build upon in 2010. I fully expect the Cannons to take that next step and challenge for the CNMSBL Championship next year.”
Excerpts from “Woodstock” by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young:
Well, then can I roam beside you?
I have come to lose the smog,
And I feel myself a cog in somethin’ turning.
And maybe it’s the time of year,
Yes, and maybe it’s the time of man.
And I don’t know who I am,
But life is for learning.
We are stardust, we are golden,
We are billion year old carbon.
And we got to get ourselves back to the garden.
After Woodstock, Max Yasgur, who owned the site of the event, spoke of how the concert was a victory of peace and love, saying, “If we join [the concertgoers], we can turn adversities into a hope for a brighter future.” The 2009 CNMSBL season is over and done for the Connecticut Cannons, though this team hopes to turn its misfortune into a future filled with good wood, gold gloves, and the grandest of all achievements, an A Division title. Life is indeed for learning and each Cannon a cog in somethin’ turning. As the end of summer and the Autumnal Equinox approaches, the 2010 season may seem a distant dream, with Opening Day approximately eight months away. But those in the know fully understand that this is the time when postseason games are won and lost. Re-signing pivotal players or finding that key free agent acquisition will go a long way toward setting the tone for this team’s future so that the sweet sounds of success are all you’ll hear in a Cannons’ ear. Expectations will once again be at an all-time high as the Cannons prepare to play out next season’s CNMSBL A Division schedule and a championship is the only music that can truly soothe the savage beast known collectively as Cannon Nation.
Cannons News and Notes: Barsa [1], Luby [1], and Patenaude [13] are the only three current Connecticut Cannons who were alive during the three days of Woodstock…Iron Butterfly was scheduled to perform at the festival as the thirty-third act but could not reach Bethel because of traffic…“The New State Thruway’s Closed, Man!” (in honor of the Woodstock theme, Weber said the Cannons, “played like a bunch of hippies on acid” on Saturday; Hartford was 4-0 against Connecticut in ’09 after splitting the season series in ’08; the A Division’s final four is set: newcomers Suffield [4] will take on Hartford [1], while another newbie, upset winner Windsor [6] will play Glastonbury [2]…Bristol, Winsted, and the 2008 champion Marlborough were eliminated from contention over the weekend along with Connecticut; the Cannons batted .366 as a team in postseason play, up from .300 in the regular season (opponents batted .268 and .273 respectively); among qualifiers, Dionicio led the team offensively during the postseason in at-bats [15], triples [2], and runs batted in [8]…Maule led the team in bases on balls [4], runs [6], slugging percentage [1.231], and on-base + slugging percentage [1.937]…Balcerzak led the team in batting average [.714] and on-base percentage [.778]…Dionicio and Maule shared the lead in hits [8], home runs [1], and fewest strike outs [0] while Balcerzak, Maule, and Svoboda shared the lead in doubles [2]; Maule is the team’s all-time A Division leader in ten of thirteen offensive categories (Dionicio has more at bats and triples while Maule and Luby share the team lead with 10 RBI)…the star centerfielder has not struck out in fifty-six postseason plate appearances with the Cannons and his batting average actually improved from .606 from to .609 in his fourth postseason; Luby and Maule each hold six of the team’s overall 2001-2009 postseason records, five individually and each has scored 21 runs (Dionicio and Steve Markie share the triples lead…“Father of Cannons Baseball” Andy Borst still holds the record for postseason walks with 15); Patenaude and Quinn each had a win and a loss in postseason play…Patenaude led the club in playoff appearances [3], inning pitched [15.2], walks + hits per inning allowed [1.32], and earned run average [1.78]…Quinn led the club in hits allowed [10], runs allowed [5], earned runs allowed [3], and batting average against [.277]…Patenaude and Quinn each struck out seven opponents and walked four; for the first time since October 2005 (when the Cannons agreed to move to the A Division), Luby hosted teammates at a post-game party…Barsa, Celio, DePalma, McGann, and Weber joined Lubes and family at his lovely home in Avon (“Juicy Lucys”—hamburgers with cheese on the inside—were a huge hit with teammates…McGann does not use ketchup on his burgers); the team (Barsa, Celio, DePalma, Luby, former Cannon great Kevin McGann, Mike McGann, and Weber among other assorted family members and friends of the team) used twenty-two tickets in Luxury Box 4 at Dodd Stadium in Norwich for a contest between the Akron Aeros and Connecticut Defenders on Thursday, August 13 (won in walk-off fashion by the Defenders in the tenth)…the Giants Minor League affiliate celebrated Library Night and Thirsty Thursday with assorted $3 Samuel Adams brews (“T-Rex” chose to drink $5 Bud Light Limes instead while kicking in $40…he somehow worked a $30 refund by eating and drinking more)…as Celio passed out beers, DePalma spilled a Sam all over McGann, to which the lifelong Cubs fan responded topically, “I feel like Shane Victorino at Wrigley.”…Cutter the Eagle, the Defenders mascot, spent time in the box with the Cannons…twice during the game, a fan was covered in tape and asked to roll around in a pile of money…Luby questioned, “How much would Drew Clarke make in this event?” (Clarke’s Revenge: McGann says he, “loves the feel of the team’s new uniforms…in April.”)…after a high pop up, Weber informed teammates that these are the types of balls an outfielder can dive for risk-free, though he never remembered John Mancini doing so…Barsa replied, “I can’t picture Manzer [sic] diving for anything, except maybe a buffet table.”…Weber offered Barsa his unconditional release to the B Division at several points during the evening…Liz “Devo” Devokaitis was the first-ever contestant on Can You Dig It?, the Cannons version of Sox Appeal (Liz has had a blind date with “McCan’t,” took Barsa’s number even though he was texting another lady, and said, “Rob looks good in jeans. I hate to see him leave, but I love to watch him go!”)…Barsa informed “Devo” that his closest personal friends call him “Barse”…no Cannon has ever done so…McGann’s forty-two year old “back-up plan” girlfriend is “into yoga…she taught me a few things,” PETA pronounced; McDowell’s batting cage is available to the team this offseason; a move back to West Hartford is in the works as Celio signed former Bristol Scrapper and diamond in the rough Rick Sanford (Sanford, like Kenny “Club Foot” Mayne, hopes to wear #29 next season…bidding begins at $1000); Cannons management is looking at Saturday, October 3 for the annual Jocktoberfest at The Webers in Berlin…dinner, drinks, Cannons Jeopardy! and the Cannons Awards are all on the agenda, so clear your calendars for the fun-filled festivities!
8/15 Studs: Dionicio (3 for 6, 2 BB, 1 R, 5 SB), Patenaude (8.2 IP over two games, 4 ER)
8/15 Duds: the Connecticut Cannons offense (though the team connected for eighteen hits and eight walks, nearly the same as the twenty and five accumulated by Hartford, few were of the timely fashion needed to knock off a top-seeded opponent as the Nats outscored the Cannons 16-3 while Connecticut struck out on seventeen of forty-two outs [41%]); the Connecticut Cannons defense (nine unearned runs—one in the first and eight in the second—over the two games)
Monday, August 17, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
TAKE IT TO DA CUBS
Big Guns Pistol Whip Baby Bears; Bring on the Number One Seeded Nats!
Newington, CT (AP)—(To the tune of Farmington’s favorite son, 50 Cent’s “In Da Club”):
Go, go, go, go.
Go, go, go Cannons.
It’s the playoffs.
We gon’ play ball like it’s the playoffs.
We gon’ win it all like it’s the playoffs.
And you know we don’t give a f**k.
You out the playoffs!
The Cannons crushed the Cubs, a team that had no subs.
Sweep a Wild Card set at Alumni Field.
Connecticut’s the A Division’s greatest club.
You know the Cannons are for real!
On Saturday, the Connecticut Cannons started 2009’s postseason journey in resounding fashion, playing what arguably were the most fabulous fourteen innings of all-around baseball in the nine year old club’s storied history, and certainly the team’s most one-sided one-day performance since joining the CNMSBL’s A Division in 2006 by sweeping the Eastern Connecticut Cubs by scores of 3-0 and 22-1 to advance to the Divisional Series against the top-seeded Hartford Nationals at, you guessed it, Old Cannons Yards (West Hartford’s Hall High School). Back in April, many preseason publications, professional prognosticators, and parlor room pundits picked the Cannons as favorites to take the 2009 league title. What wasn’t to like about this battle-tested ball club, a team that last season was one strike away from advancing to its first-ever A Division Championship Series? Connecticut possessed all the necessary pieces to compete at this level: a solid core or fourteen returning players with plenty of playoff experience; brilliant bats in the form of Bill Balcerzak, Tom Clark, Leo Dionicio, Tom Luby, Drew McDowell, and Jason Maule to name just a handful who have become household names to diamond devotees; a dynamic defense, marshaled by mainstays Mike McGann and Kevin Quinn; and a host of heady hurlers, led by lefty Mike Patenaude, who have baffled batting orders from Windsor to Winsted. Add three highly-touted free agent recruits—Rob DePalma, Josh Svoboda, and Jim Yanosy—to round out the roster, along with the league’s most frenzied fan base, and it seemed certain the Cannons could make some noise come August. After an A Division-best regular season, the Boys in Blue felt like favorites entering the eighth month and Sunday’s performance further fostered those feelings as the all-out assault sent shockwaves throughout the state of Connecticut and across the entire baseball world.
After brief inspirational remarks made by Manager Matt Celio alluding to the August success so common to all Cannons clubs, Connecticut’s Patenaude took the mound against his opposite number, Eastern Connecticut’s Clement Dobrinski, in this “Battle of #19s.” Patenaude, as he done so many times in past playoff performances, impressed from the outset, setting the visitors down in order over the first two frames on only seventeen pitches (Clark, slowed considerably by a sore knee, made a great grab on a ball hit over his head in left in the second). Offensively, Connecticut would give “The Old Man of the ‘C’” all the runs he required in the second as Clark singled and courtesy runner “Hairway to Heaven” Balcerzak stole second. “Ragin’ Cajun” McDowell drove in the first run with a base hit (he too would swipe second, one of several steals against first-time third string catcher Cowsill Hare; McGann said of the stone-handed Hare, “I hope he was breaking in a new mitt today.”), Chris “T-Rex” Barsa ripped a run-scoring single to right, and Quinn came around to score on a two-out double by “The Truth” Maule to give the Cannons a three-run cushion. Patenaude, perfect through three-plus, did not allow a runner to reach until Jim Cook singled with two down in the fourth, but the Cubs’ skipper was gunned out by Quinn as he tried to steal second, ending the frame. Gorman “Illegal Alien” Apone led off the top of the fifth with a shot into the left-center gap but Maule rounded up the ball and threw a bullet to Dionicio at second to cut down the lumbering Latino. Connecticut would threaten repeatedly, putting runners in scoring position in each of the first five frames, but was unable to break things open against Dobrinski who was aided by a pair of unassisted double plays on absolute rockets off the big bats of Maule and Clark. Having faced the minimum number of batters through six complete, Patenaude was touched for a two-strike lead-off single by Rogue Moulin and Cook added a one-out base hit that brought the tying run to the plate in the roly-poly form of Apone. However, an amazing play by McGann in right, as he chased a ball a country mile into the corner for a clutch catch, kept the Cannons comfortably in front and Patenaude (7 IP, 0 R, 4 H, 6 K, 0 BB, CG on only seventy-eight seemingly effortless tosses) induced a Taj Van Wilder ground out to short for the complete game shutout and 3-0 victory to open postseason play. “MP has won some huge games for us in nine seasons of playoff pitching performances,” marveled Celio between ball games. “But he was all but untouchable out there today and the defense certainly didn’t disappoint. This guy is big time as he’s proved again and again and when we play perfect defense like we did, we are all but impossible to beat because we know our offense is more than capable of putting up runs.” The Cannons were more than ready to put that capability on full display against the Cubs in game two.
Following pre-game remarks made by Assistant Manager Mike Weber focusing specifically on the financial savings of a sweep, Eastern’s Anheuser Busch (a former Cannons recruit) climbed the hill in a confrontation with Connecticut’s Quinn (making his first postseason start) and this contest would get out of hand in a hurry. Connecticut, in the role of visitors, immediately went to work, sticking it to Busch at every opportunity. Maule led off the game with a patented opposite field double, much to Busch’s dismay, and Dionicio followed with a triple to right that had Brian “Vision Quest” Shutt twisted and tangled (“Señor Cinco” would soon score on a passed ball). Balcerzak doubled, stole third, and scored on Clark’s sacrifice fly to left to match the team’s run total from game one though the scoring was far from over. In the home half of the first, defensive dynamo Dionicio stabbed a line drive shot up the middle by Moulin then Quinn allowed a full count walk to Busch’s brother, Augustus, and a single to Cook, though Maule put on another dazzling defensive display as he threw a flat-footed one-hop strike to Luby at third from deep center to cut down Busch in disbelief (the Cubs’ pitcher, coaching third at the time, blew a gasket, arguing with umpire Jason Rentas, and the Cannons would continue to wax Busch throughout the course of the game). In the top of the second, Connecticut sent ten players to the plate, scoring five times as Quinn singled, McGann walked, Maule had a RBI base hit, and Dionicio ripped his second triple in as many innings, scoring two. Balcerzak singled home “El Latin Lothario” and came home on Clark’s base knock for an early 8-0 advantage that Clark called, “the quickest and quietest eight runs the team has scored” during his two-year tenure. Weber joked, “When your courtesy runner is standing in the on-deck circle and you have to send out a guy who just scored, you know you’re having a good inning.” Busch was able to quiet the Cannons bats for a frame but Quinn avoided any damage in the third after a lead-off walk to Dobrinski, using a strike out on the outside part of the plate that inched Busch closer to the boiling point and a dynamite double play from Balcerzak to Dionicio to Barsa to end the inning. Connecticut banged Busch off the bump in the fourth, adding eight more runs and going from big lead to laugher in fourteen fateful at-bats. Dionicio led off with an inside the park home run, the first postseason poke of his storied Cannons career, Balcerzak singled, and Luby legged out an infield hit as the Cubs fielders conducted what Weber called, “a Chinese fire drill,” each running from the ball and bags so that no play could be made (Connecticut’s inspirational leader injured a hamstring on the hit, the only dark cloud in this silver-lined Saturday, but hopes to be ready for this weekend’s games; team doctors released this statement on Sunday afternoon: “Tom Luby is officially listed as day to day with a deep hamstring pull, though no tears were discovered. His ability to drink the afternoon and evening away on Saturday was extremely encouraging, he will be rehabilitating the leg over the next several days, and he is listed as ‘probable’ for the games against the Nationals.”). Clark worked a walk to load the bases and then the calliope music of the carousel really kicked into gear as Busch was replaced by Van Wilder. McDowell, Barsa, Quinn, Maule, Balcerzak, and Svoboda were all issued RBI free passes—Quinn was plunked on his pitching hand—while Dionicio dropped a single into centerfield that scored McGann after he reached on a fielder’s choice (“Quinnie’s lack of hustle screwed me out of a much-needed hit. He better watch his back because I’m pissed,” fumed a facetiously-irked “Irish Assassin,” the only Cannons starter to go hitless on the day). Quinn cruised through the fourth—striking out Busch looking to finish the frame, leading to his massive meltdown and eventual ejection that left the Cubs with only eight players—and fifth though Connecticut’s offense was briefly silenced as Weber and Celio provided bookend strike outs against relief pitcher Apone (Celio, one of only two Cannons without a whiff on the regular season said to Luby and McGann in the dugout, “I got something in my eye on the pitch, I swear!”; Patenaude, the other K–less Cannon, went down swinging twice on Saturday). Following a phone call from Celio to vacationing A Division President Mike Clinton confirming the league’s lack of a postseason mercy rule, Maule tripled to left to start the sixth and scored on a Dionicio ground out for the seventeenth Cannons’ tally. The Cubs started their “comeback” in the home half of the inning as Apone, Van Wilder, and Shutt all singled, and Hare had his team’s lone RBI on a ground ball to Svoboda at third (the first year player replaced Luby in the field after his injury). The Cannons added five runs in the top of the final frame as Rob DePalma singled (Weber entered as a courtesy runner), Quinn had a base hit, and Celio doubled to left scoring his coaching consigliere. Maule walked to load the bases, Dionicio doubled in all three runs, hitting for the cycle in the process, and Svoboda had a RBI single to push the twenty-second and final run of the contest across the plate. Quinn (7 IP, 1 R, 1 ER, 6 H, 6 K, 4 BB, CG) got grounders to Barsa at second and Svoboda at third as several Connecticut players swapped positions in the final innings to end the most lopsided game in Cannons’ history, a 22-1 massacre and mounting of the Baby Bears. As promised, payback most assuredly was a b***h for the Eastern Connecticut Cubs. Weber said of the incomparable Quinn: “KQ was superb and, according to his own assessment, he didn’t even have his best stuff which is scary since he only surrendered the one run. He has given us top of the rotation innings over the past two Sundays and has been a real difference maker for us this season. Our rotation is that much better with Kevin, Mike, Tom, and Jim. It’s a real luxury in the postseason to have trusted arms at our disposal. And I can assure you the Cannons are a team that likes to ‘pound Busch’ at every opportunity!” Celio concluded his postgame press conference with the following comments: “Mike and Kevin pitched with chips on their left and right shoulders respectively and were unbelievable on the mound, twelve strike outs means we don’t have to make every play in the field and as a result our defense played the best it has all season, including some spectacular plays at a number of positions, and the bats have been booming since being shut out by the Cubbies at the end of July. We’re coming together in all aspects of the game and we showed what kind of team we can be when we get solid contributions from everybody on the roster. That is what has made us successful in the past and will be the key to a long postseason run over the next three weekends. We’re playing with the consistency and confidence that has been a trademark of Cannons Baseball for the better part of nine seasons, especially at this time of year. This was a terrific brand of baseball, a lot more than survive and advance today, and we live to play another day. The things that made us so solid on Saturday—clutch hitting regardless of the number of outs, near-perfect pitching including putting the Cubs’ lead-off batters in the book inning after inning (ten times in two games), key defensive plays that averted any and all rally attempts, combined and manifested as that certain Cannons’ je ne sais quoi—are the things that will carry us to the A Division crown. If we play ball the way we’re capable of, anything and everything is possible. Our goals haven’t changed since April and we’ll still be playing next weekend while two teams will be watching on television. The title is right there for the taking and playing the top seed is not a spot that will intimidate us in any way, shape, or form. Don’t make the mistake of counting the Cannons out.”
(More from “Fitty’s” hard-thumping seminal single)
And you should love it way more than you hate it.
Cubbies you mad? I thought you’d be happy we made it.
We’re the Guns with the beers, toasting the good life.
This ain’t the same Cannons team you played two weeks ago, right?
When the Cannons get to August in the playoffs it’s on.
You want a three-game series but after only two you’re gone.
The Cannons’ fuse is on fire, let the mother*****r burn.
The one-seed Nats up next, homie we ain’t concerned.
It’s the eighth month, the time the Cannons switch their style up.
If opponents hate then let ‘em hate.
Just watch the wins pile up.
Celebrate a championship with some bottles of bub.
You know where we f*****g be.
Say goodbye to the Cubs.
C-UNIT!
It has been said that revenge is a dish best served cold, and this Cubbies concoction cooled considerably over the past two weeks rendering that pair of rancid regular season losses meaningless as Connecticut’s season continues while Eastern Connecticut’s came to a crashing halt. Celio echoed his sentiments from two weeks ago, when the results were far different: “We’re as talent-laden as any team in the league and today we put all the pieces together against a team we owed butt kicking: you saw the swagger that makes us such a tough out each and every August stamped all over these two. I knew our guys would remember the losses against the Cubs and use what we learned to our advantage. Today our play spoke for itself, and it spoke volumes as we hoped it would. Saturday was everything we expected it to be and now we get a whack at the one next week when I count on us playing classic Cannons Baseball yet again. Seeding means nothing to us now: we’re one of eight teams still playing with a chance to win a championship. A title’s still on our to-do list.” August is upon us and, as chronicled on these pages previously, the eighth month brings optimism and often outstanding outcomes for the Connecticut Cannons. It is now crystal clear this team has the necessary firepower to compete for and ultimately capture the CNMSBL’s Clarke-Clinton Trophy in 2009. Seats for all second round games across the league have been sold out for months, though standing room only tickets will be available to the public at all venues thirty minutes before game time. Follow the simulcast live on the web at ctcannons.blogspot.com. Beating Hartford will be a National treasure. Let the hunt for BLUE August continue. Championship or bust!
Cannons News and Notes: The Cannons combined regular and postseason record of 11-11 marks the first time the team has been at .500 this late in a campaign since joining the A Division in 2006; game one was the first A Division playoff home game for the Cannons (another first: McGann used the Alumni Field parking lot rather than climbing over and under fences to reach the diamond…Luby said it was lucky that Juan Checo and Drew Clarke had been released earlier in the season since neither would have fit through the field’s famous “fencing for supermodels”); all fourteen Connecticut players logged significant playing time on Saturday, including rookies DePalma and Svoboda each recording his first postseason hit; the Cannons’ batting averaged skyrocketed from an even .300 in the regular season to a fiery .422 if first-round action, a sign the team is getting hot at the right time yet again; after two contests, seven of fourteen batters have a combined playoff OPS of 1.167 or better (Balcerzak, Celio, Clark, DePalma, Dionicio, Maule, and Svoboda); Connecticut has outscored opponents 52 to 7 in four games this August and is 4-0 since Celio switched to the red Cannons Baseball pencil; top to bottom production: Maule, Dionicio, and Balcerzak—the team’s top third of the line-up—each had five hits on Saturday, while Clark, Luby, McDowell, and Quinn chipped in with two apiece; following his father’s offensive outburst and error-free play at second, Brian “El Hijo del Heartthrob de Hispaniola” Dionicio, who as recently as two weeks ago stated simply, “My Dad sucks,” said with a sigh of relief, “I can finally call you my father!”…Dionicio and his family attended the premier of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra on Friday evening (Clark, unaware of the movie’s official release date, asked “El Dominican Dreamboat” if he “saw a bootleg Park Road version” of the film, adding, “I get a lot of CDs and DVDs from there.”; the three triples by Dionicio (2) and Maule (1) were two more than the team had over the course of the entire regular season campaign (Barsa’s triple against Bristol was Connecticut’s only three-bagger of the regular season); Barsa took complete credit for Dionicio’s outstanding offense, telling the player who put the “Grrr” in free-swinger before game two to, “set a small strike zone and only look for fastballs.”…who knew it was so simple?!; McDowell was the only Cannon thrown out by Hare, earning him the new nickname “Louisiana Deceptively Slow”; McDowell and wife Barbara celebrated their twelfth anniversary on Saturday (“Drew Diesel” had to fight to attend the playoff pair but when he was asked about how this would impact night in New York City, the first baseman said, “I’m still gonna get some.”)…Adam “Bomb” Pallone and wife Laure celebrated their first anniversary over the weekend as well; for the first time, Newington native Barsa hosted teammates at a post-game party…Celio, DePalma, Luby, McGann, and Weber joined “T-Rex” at his bachelor pad (Barsa has offered use of his deck after next weekend’s win as well); several players visited Plan B, The Spigot, and the rooftop at The Elbow Room after the sweep (all three are official sponsors of the 2009 Connecticut Cannons playoffs)…bring out the brooms again: Managers Celio and Weber swept a pair from Barsa and DePalma in darts…McGann informed teammates that, “If I can fit a girl’s full butt in my hand, I’m down with it.”…McGann also alerted all interested parties that he is not a huge fan of anal sex, saying, “I’d go with one of the other holes, not specific, that’s just the way it goes.”…“The Mayor of Manville” became even less likely to “Go Greek” after he heard that Farrah Fawcett’s cancer might have been caused by backdoor love…McGann, hit by Hartford’s Kevin Rival early in the season, promises retribution, expecting “big damage” from himself and the rest of the Cannons offense; Drew “Breakfast Club” Clarke, a Cannons cast-off picked up by the Capitals in May, allowed just one run in five-plus innings against the Torr-Winchester Rifles in the second game of their Wild Card weekend series (the Little Guns got to Caps relievers for eleven in the sixth after Clarke ran out of gas)…Paul “Digger” Graves spoke with Celio on Saturday afternoon, saying, “You made a mistake in player personnel, bro. Drew threw ‘The Mesmerizer’ to us all day long. Trying to hit him is like trying to hit a fluttering moth.”…Newington, following a first game forfeit and with just nine players for game two, was forced to use the corpulent Clarke as a hitter…Graves added, “I don’t know if you’re a Star Wars fan, but I’ve never seen Jabba the Hutt run the bases before [Saturday].”…Winsted takes on Clinton, John “Fore” Skinner, and the rest of the second seeded Glastonbury G-Men in round two action on Saturday (Marlborough [3] hosts Windsor [6] while Suffield [4] is home against Bristol [5]); Mayne Man: Kenny “Mayne Street” Mayne, essence of ESPN, Avon resident, and close personal friend of Tom Luby, contacted Celio on Saturday after the wins with his intentions to join the Cannons in 2010: “I’m good for one inning of pitching per weekend. I’m there for my arm, not my bat.”…the pitcher plans to wear number 29 to which Celio replied, “Some people have great numbers, still others make numbers great,” invoking a Coach John Robinson reference to then Rams running back Eric Dickerson circa 1983…several Cannons hope that the Mayne signing will entice Baseball Tonight’s John Kruk to commit to the club, as all agreed he’d be fun to drink with…Mayne’s book, An Incomplete and Inaccurate History of Sport, rated a 5-stars smash by reviewers at barnesandnoble.com is available on-line at a member’s discount of $19.96…Mayne would become the only Cannon to have appeared on Dancing With the Stars and would be the only player who Stacy Keibler’s lips have appeared on…I’m still trying!; the team has twenty-four tickets for a luxury box at Dodd Stadium in Norwich for a contest between the Akron Aeros and Connecticut Defenders for this Thursday (August 13) at 6:35…Barsa, DePalma, and McGann hope to compete in Can You Dig It?, a Sox Appeal-esque game show in which each player gets to lavish their love on the lovely Liz (she of man hands and meatloaf turkey fame), the object of McGann’s odd affections a few weeks back, for three innings each on Thursday evening…“PETA”—known to Liz as Mike “McCan’t” after his failed flirtations—is not pleased with the premise of the pilot episode: “I never thought I’d live to see the day Barsa wanted someone I rejected.”; fourteen of seventeen ballots for the 2009 Cannons Awards were received in the five days following the regular season finale (polls closed at 11:59 p.m. on Friday, August 7 and awards will be presented at Jocktoberfest ‘09…date and time TBA)…thank you for your votes!
8/8 Studs: the Connecticut Cannons: offense (25 runs on 27 hits, eleven of them for extra bases, along with 14 free passes), defense (1 insignificant error in Game Two after a flawless Game One), and pitching (1 run on 10 hits, only 4 free passes, 12 strike outs, 2 CG, 2 W); Balcerzak (5 for 7, 2 2B, 2 BB, 3 R, 2 RBI, 4 SB); Dionicio (5 for 6, 2B, 2 3B, HR—the first-ever Cannons cycle—4 R, 8 RBI in Game Two); Maule (5 for 7, 2 2B, 3B, 2 BB, 5 R, 4 RBI, 2 SB); Patenaude (7 IP, 0 R, 4 H, 6 K, 0 BB, CG shutout, W); Quinn (7 IP, 1 ER, 6 H, 6 K, CG, W)
8/8 Duds: the Eastern Connecticut Cubs, going from swept to inept in the matter of a fortnight
Big Guns Pistol Whip Baby Bears; Bring on the Number One Seeded Nats!
Newington, CT (AP)—(To the tune of Farmington’s favorite son, 50 Cent’s “In Da Club”):
Go, go, go, go.
Go, go, go Cannons.
It’s the playoffs.
We gon’ play ball like it’s the playoffs.
We gon’ win it all like it’s the playoffs.
And you know we don’t give a f**k.
You out the playoffs!
The Cannons crushed the Cubs, a team that had no subs.
Sweep a Wild Card set at Alumni Field.
Connecticut’s the A Division’s greatest club.
You know the Cannons are for real!
On Saturday, the Connecticut Cannons started 2009’s postseason journey in resounding fashion, playing what arguably were the most fabulous fourteen innings of all-around baseball in the nine year old club’s storied history, and certainly the team’s most one-sided one-day performance since joining the CNMSBL’s A Division in 2006 by sweeping the Eastern Connecticut Cubs by scores of 3-0 and 22-1 to advance to the Divisional Series against the top-seeded Hartford Nationals at, you guessed it, Old Cannons Yards (West Hartford’s Hall High School). Back in April, many preseason publications, professional prognosticators, and parlor room pundits picked the Cannons as favorites to take the 2009 league title. What wasn’t to like about this battle-tested ball club, a team that last season was one strike away from advancing to its first-ever A Division Championship Series? Connecticut possessed all the necessary pieces to compete at this level: a solid core or fourteen returning players with plenty of playoff experience; brilliant bats in the form of Bill Balcerzak, Tom Clark, Leo Dionicio, Tom Luby, Drew McDowell, and Jason Maule to name just a handful who have become household names to diamond devotees; a dynamic defense, marshaled by mainstays Mike McGann and Kevin Quinn; and a host of heady hurlers, led by lefty Mike Patenaude, who have baffled batting orders from Windsor to Winsted. Add three highly-touted free agent recruits—Rob DePalma, Josh Svoboda, and Jim Yanosy—to round out the roster, along with the league’s most frenzied fan base, and it seemed certain the Cannons could make some noise come August. After an A Division-best regular season, the Boys in Blue felt like favorites entering the eighth month and Sunday’s performance further fostered those feelings as the all-out assault sent shockwaves throughout the state of Connecticut and across the entire baseball world.
After brief inspirational remarks made by Manager Matt Celio alluding to the August success so common to all Cannons clubs, Connecticut’s Patenaude took the mound against his opposite number, Eastern Connecticut’s Clement Dobrinski, in this “Battle of #19s.” Patenaude, as he done so many times in past playoff performances, impressed from the outset, setting the visitors down in order over the first two frames on only seventeen pitches (Clark, slowed considerably by a sore knee, made a great grab on a ball hit over his head in left in the second). Offensively, Connecticut would give “The Old Man of the ‘C’” all the runs he required in the second as Clark singled and courtesy runner “Hairway to Heaven” Balcerzak stole second. “Ragin’ Cajun” McDowell drove in the first run with a base hit (he too would swipe second, one of several steals against first-time third string catcher Cowsill Hare; McGann said of the stone-handed Hare, “I hope he was breaking in a new mitt today.”), Chris “T-Rex” Barsa ripped a run-scoring single to right, and Quinn came around to score on a two-out double by “The Truth” Maule to give the Cannons a three-run cushion. Patenaude, perfect through three-plus, did not allow a runner to reach until Jim Cook singled with two down in the fourth, but the Cubs’ skipper was gunned out by Quinn as he tried to steal second, ending the frame. Gorman “Illegal Alien” Apone led off the top of the fifth with a shot into the left-center gap but Maule rounded up the ball and threw a bullet to Dionicio at second to cut down the lumbering Latino. Connecticut would threaten repeatedly, putting runners in scoring position in each of the first five frames, but was unable to break things open against Dobrinski who was aided by a pair of unassisted double plays on absolute rockets off the big bats of Maule and Clark. Having faced the minimum number of batters through six complete, Patenaude was touched for a two-strike lead-off single by Rogue Moulin and Cook added a one-out base hit that brought the tying run to the plate in the roly-poly form of Apone. However, an amazing play by McGann in right, as he chased a ball a country mile into the corner for a clutch catch, kept the Cannons comfortably in front and Patenaude (7 IP, 0 R, 4 H, 6 K, 0 BB, CG on only seventy-eight seemingly effortless tosses) induced a Taj Van Wilder ground out to short for the complete game shutout and 3-0 victory to open postseason play. “MP has won some huge games for us in nine seasons of playoff pitching performances,” marveled Celio between ball games. “But he was all but untouchable out there today and the defense certainly didn’t disappoint. This guy is big time as he’s proved again and again and when we play perfect defense like we did, we are all but impossible to beat because we know our offense is more than capable of putting up runs.” The Cannons were more than ready to put that capability on full display against the Cubs in game two.
Following pre-game remarks made by Assistant Manager Mike Weber focusing specifically on the financial savings of a sweep, Eastern’s Anheuser Busch (a former Cannons recruit) climbed the hill in a confrontation with Connecticut’s Quinn (making his first postseason start) and this contest would get out of hand in a hurry. Connecticut, in the role of visitors, immediately went to work, sticking it to Busch at every opportunity. Maule led off the game with a patented opposite field double, much to Busch’s dismay, and Dionicio followed with a triple to right that had Brian “Vision Quest” Shutt twisted and tangled (“Señor Cinco” would soon score on a passed ball). Balcerzak doubled, stole third, and scored on Clark’s sacrifice fly to left to match the team’s run total from game one though the scoring was far from over. In the home half of the first, defensive dynamo Dionicio stabbed a line drive shot up the middle by Moulin then Quinn allowed a full count walk to Busch’s brother, Augustus, and a single to Cook, though Maule put on another dazzling defensive display as he threw a flat-footed one-hop strike to Luby at third from deep center to cut down Busch in disbelief (the Cubs’ pitcher, coaching third at the time, blew a gasket, arguing with umpire Jason Rentas, and the Cannons would continue to wax Busch throughout the course of the game). In the top of the second, Connecticut sent ten players to the plate, scoring five times as Quinn singled, McGann walked, Maule had a RBI base hit, and Dionicio ripped his second triple in as many innings, scoring two. Balcerzak singled home “El Latin Lothario” and came home on Clark’s base knock for an early 8-0 advantage that Clark called, “the quickest and quietest eight runs the team has scored” during his two-year tenure. Weber joked, “When your courtesy runner is standing in the on-deck circle and you have to send out a guy who just scored, you know you’re having a good inning.” Busch was able to quiet the Cannons bats for a frame but Quinn avoided any damage in the third after a lead-off walk to Dobrinski, using a strike out on the outside part of the plate that inched Busch closer to the boiling point and a dynamite double play from Balcerzak to Dionicio to Barsa to end the inning. Connecticut banged Busch off the bump in the fourth, adding eight more runs and going from big lead to laugher in fourteen fateful at-bats. Dionicio led off with an inside the park home run, the first postseason poke of his storied Cannons career, Balcerzak singled, and Luby legged out an infield hit as the Cubs fielders conducted what Weber called, “a Chinese fire drill,” each running from the ball and bags so that no play could be made (Connecticut’s inspirational leader injured a hamstring on the hit, the only dark cloud in this silver-lined Saturday, but hopes to be ready for this weekend’s games; team doctors released this statement on Sunday afternoon: “Tom Luby is officially listed as day to day with a deep hamstring pull, though no tears were discovered. His ability to drink the afternoon and evening away on Saturday was extremely encouraging, he will be rehabilitating the leg over the next several days, and he is listed as ‘probable’ for the games against the Nationals.”). Clark worked a walk to load the bases and then the calliope music of the carousel really kicked into gear as Busch was replaced by Van Wilder. McDowell, Barsa, Quinn, Maule, Balcerzak, and Svoboda were all issued RBI free passes—Quinn was plunked on his pitching hand—while Dionicio dropped a single into centerfield that scored McGann after he reached on a fielder’s choice (“Quinnie’s lack of hustle screwed me out of a much-needed hit. He better watch his back because I’m pissed,” fumed a facetiously-irked “Irish Assassin,” the only Cannons starter to go hitless on the day). Quinn cruised through the fourth—striking out Busch looking to finish the frame, leading to his massive meltdown and eventual ejection that left the Cubs with only eight players—and fifth though Connecticut’s offense was briefly silenced as Weber and Celio provided bookend strike outs against relief pitcher Apone (Celio, one of only two Cannons without a whiff on the regular season said to Luby and McGann in the dugout, “I got something in my eye on the pitch, I swear!”; Patenaude, the other K–less Cannon, went down swinging twice on Saturday). Following a phone call from Celio to vacationing A Division President Mike Clinton confirming the league’s lack of a postseason mercy rule, Maule tripled to left to start the sixth and scored on a Dionicio ground out for the seventeenth Cannons’ tally. The Cubs started their “comeback” in the home half of the inning as Apone, Van Wilder, and Shutt all singled, and Hare had his team’s lone RBI on a ground ball to Svoboda at third (the first year player replaced Luby in the field after his injury). The Cannons added five runs in the top of the final frame as Rob DePalma singled (Weber entered as a courtesy runner), Quinn had a base hit, and Celio doubled to left scoring his coaching consigliere. Maule walked to load the bases, Dionicio doubled in all three runs, hitting for the cycle in the process, and Svoboda had a RBI single to push the twenty-second and final run of the contest across the plate. Quinn (7 IP, 1 R, 1 ER, 6 H, 6 K, 4 BB, CG) got grounders to Barsa at second and Svoboda at third as several Connecticut players swapped positions in the final innings to end the most lopsided game in Cannons’ history, a 22-1 massacre and mounting of the Baby Bears. As promised, payback most assuredly was a b***h for the Eastern Connecticut Cubs. Weber said of the incomparable Quinn: “KQ was superb and, according to his own assessment, he didn’t even have his best stuff which is scary since he only surrendered the one run. He has given us top of the rotation innings over the past two Sundays and has been a real difference maker for us this season. Our rotation is that much better with Kevin, Mike, Tom, and Jim. It’s a real luxury in the postseason to have trusted arms at our disposal. And I can assure you the Cannons are a team that likes to ‘pound Busch’ at every opportunity!” Celio concluded his postgame press conference with the following comments: “Mike and Kevin pitched with chips on their left and right shoulders respectively and were unbelievable on the mound, twelve strike outs means we don’t have to make every play in the field and as a result our defense played the best it has all season, including some spectacular plays at a number of positions, and the bats have been booming since being shut out by the Cubbies at the end of July. We’re coming together in all aspects of the game and we showed what kind of team we can be when we get solid contributions from everybody on the roster. That is what has made us successful in the past and will be the key to a long postseason run over the next three weekends. We’re playing with the consistency and confidence that has been a trademark of Cannons Baseball for the better part of nine seasons, especially at this time of year. This was a terrific brand of baseball, a lot more than survive and advance today, and we live to play another day. The things that made us so solid on Saturday—clutch hitting regardless of the number of outs, near-perfect pitching including putting the Cubs’ lead-off batters in the book inning after inning (ten times in two games), key defensive plays that averted any and all rally attempts, combined and manifested as that certain Cannons’ je ne sais quoi—are the things that will carry us to the A Division crown. If we play ball the way we’re capable of, anything and everything is possible. Our goals haven’t changed since April and we’ll still be playing next weekend while two teams will be watching on television. The title is right there for the taking and playing the top seed is not a spot that will intimidate us in any way, shape, or form. Don’t make the mistake of counting the Cannons out.”
(More from “Fitty’s” hard-thumping seminal single)
And you should love it way more than you hate it.
Cubbies you mad? I thought you’d be happy we made it.
We’re the Guns with the beers, toasting the good life.
This ain’t the same Cannons team you played two weeks ago, right?
When the Cannons get to August in the playoffs it’s on.
You want a three-game series but after only two you’re gone.
The Cannons’ fuse is on fire, let the mother*****r burn.
The one-seed Nats up next, homie we ain’t concerned.
It’s the eighth month, the time the Cannons switch their style up.
If opponents hate then let ‘em hate.
Just watch the wins pile up.
Celebrate a championship with some bottles of bub.
You know where we f*****g be.
Say goodbye to the Cubs.
C-UNIT!
It has been said that revenge is a dish best served cold, and this Cubbies concoction cooled considerably over the past two weeks rendering that pair of rancid regular season losses meaningless as Connecticut’s season continues while Eastern Connecticut’s came to a crashing halt. Celio echoed his sentiments from two weeks ago, when the results were far different: “We’re as talent-laden as any team in the league and today we put all the pieces together against a team we owed butt kicking: you saw the swagger that makes us such a tough out each and every August stamped all over these two. I knew our guys would remember the losses against the Cubs and use what we learned to our advantage. Today our play spoke for itself, and it spoke volumes as we hoped it would. Saturday was everything we expected it to be and now we get a whack at the one next week when I count on us playing classic Cannons Baseball yet again. Seeding means nothing to us now: we’re one of eight teams still playing with a chance to win a championship. A title’s still on our to-do list.” August is upon us and, as chronicled on these pages previously, the eighth month brings optimism and often outstanding outcomes for the Connecticut Cannons. It is now crystal clear this team has the necessary firepower to compete for and ultimately capture the CNMSBL’s Clarke-Clinton Trophy in 2009. Seats for all second round games across the league have been sold out for months, though standing room only tickets will be available to the public at all venues thirty minutes before game time. Follow the simulcast live on the web at ctcannons.blogspot.com. Beating Hartford will be a National treasure. Let the hunt for BLUE August continue. Championship or bust!
Cannons News and Notes: The Cannons combined regular and postseason record of 11-11 marks the first time the team has been at .500 this late in a campaign since joining the A Division in 2006; game one was the first A Division playoff home game for the Cannons (another first: McGann used the Alumni Field parking lot rather than climbing over and under fences to reach the diamond…Luby said it was lucky that Juan Checo and Drew Clarke had been released earlier in the season since neither would have fit through the field’s famous “fencing for supermodels”); all fourteen Connecticut players logged significant playing time on Saturday, including rookies DePalma and Svoboda each recording his first postseason hit; the Cannons’ batting averaged skyrocketed from an even .300 in the regular season to a fiery .422 if first-round action, a sign the team is getting hot at the right time yet again; after two contests, seven of fourteen batters have a combined playoff OPS of 1.167 or better (Balcerzak, Celio, Clark, DePalma, Dionicio, Maule, and Svoboda); Connecticut has outscored opponents 52 to 7 in four games this August and is 4-0 since Celio switched to the red Cannons Baseball pencil; top to bottom production: Maule, Dionicio, and Balcerzak—the team’s top third of the line-up—each had five hits on Saturday, while Clark, Luby, McDowell, and Quinn chipped in with two apiece; following his father’s offensive outburst and error-free play at second, Brian “El Hijo del Heartthrob de Hispaniola” Dionicio, who as recently as two weeks ago stated simply, “My Dad sucks,” said with a sigh of relief, “I can finally call you my father!”…Dionicio and his family attended the premier of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra on Friday evening (Clark, unaware of the movie’s official release date, asked “El Dominican Dreamboat” if he “saw a bootleg Park Road version” of the film, adding, “I get a lot of CDs and DVDs from there.”; the three triples by Dionicio (2) and Maule (1) were two more than the team had over the course of the entire regular season campaign (Barsa’s triple against Bristol was Connecticut’s only three-bagger of the regular season); Barsa took complete credit for Dionicio’s outstanding offense, telling the player who put the “Grrr” in free-swinger before game two to, “set a small strike zone and only look for fastballs.”…who knew it was so simple?!; McDowell was the only Cannon thrown out by Hare, earning him the new nickname “Louisiana Deceptively Slow”; McDowell and wife Barbara celebrated their twelfth anniversary on Saturday (“Drew Diesel” had to fight to attend the playoff pair but when he was asked about how this would impact night in New York City, the first baseman said, “I’m still gonna get some.”)…Adam “Bomb” Pallone and wife Laure celebrated their first anniversary over the weekend as well; for the first time, Newington native Barsa hosted teammates at a post-game party…Celio, DePalma, Luby, McGann, and Weber joined “T-Rex” at his bachelor pad (Barsa has offered use of his deck after next weekend’s win as well); several players visited Plan B, The Spigot, and the rooftop at The Elbow Room after the sweep (all three are official sponsors of the 2009 Connecticut Cannons playoffs)…bring out the brooms again: Managers Celio and Weber swept a pair from Barsa and DePalma in darts…McGann informed teammates that, “If I can fit a girl’s full butt in my hand, I’m down with it.”…McGann also alerted all interested parties that he is not a huge fan of anal sex, saying, “I’d go with one of the other holes, not specific, that’s just the way it goes.”…“The Mayor of Manville” became even less likely to “Go Greek” after he heard that Farrah Fawcett’s cancer might have been caused by backdoor love…McGann, hit by Hartford’s Kevin Rival early in the season, promises retribution, expecting “big damage” from himself and the rest of the Cannons offense; Drew “Breakfast Club” Clarke, a Cannons cast-off picked up by the Capitals in May, allowed just one run in five-plus innings against the Torr-Winchester Rifles in the second game of their Wild Card weekend series (the Little Guns got to Caps relievers for eleven in the sixth after Clarke ran out of gas)…Paul “Digger” Graves spoke with Celio on Saturday afternoon, saying, “You made a mistake in player personnel, bro. Drew threw ‘The Mesmerizer’ to us all day long. Trying to hit him is like trying to hit a fluttering moth.”…Newington, following a first game forfeit and with just nine players for game two, was forced to use the corpulent Clarke as a hitter…Graves added, “I don’t know if you’re a Star Wars fan, but I’ve never seen Jabba the Hutt run the bases before [Saturday].”…Winsted takes on Clinton, John “Fore” Skinner, and the rest of the second seeded Glastonbury G-Men in round two action on Saturday (Marlborough [3] hosts Windsor [6] while Suffield [4] is home against Bristol [5]); Mayne Man: Kenny “Mayne Street” Mayne, essence of ESPN, Avon resident, and close personal friend of Tom Luby, contacted Celio on Saturday after the wins with his intentions to join the Cannons in 2010: “I’m good for one inning of pitching per weekend. I’m there for my arm, not my bat.”…the pitcher plans to wear number 29 to which Celio replied, “Some people have great numbers, still others make numbers great,” invoking a Coach John Robinson reference to then Rams running back Eric Dickerson circa 1983…several Cannons hope that the Mayne signing will entice Baseball Tonight’s John Kruk to commit to the club, as all agreed he’d be fun to drink with…Mayne’s book, An Incomplete and Inaccurate History of Sport, rated a 5-stars smash by reviewers at barnesandnoble.com is available on-line at a member’s discount of $19.96…Mayne would become the only Cannon to have appeared on Dancing With the Stars and would be the only player who Stacy Keibler’s lips have appeared on…I’m still trying!; the team has twenty-four tickets for a luxury box at Dodd Stadium in Norwich for a contest between the Akron Aeros and Connecticut Defenders for this Thursday (August 13) at 6:35…Barsa, DePalma, and McGann hope to compete in Can You Dig It?, a Sox Appeal-esque game show in which each player gets to lavish their love on the lovely Liz (she of man hands and meatloaf turkey fame), the object of McGann’s odd affections a few weeks back, for three innings each on Thursday evening…“PETA”—known to Liz as Mike “McCan’t” after his failed flirtations—is not pleased with the premise of the pilot episode: “I never thought I’d live to see the day Barsa wanted someone I rejected.”; fourteen of seventeen ballots for the 2009 Cannons Awards were received in the five days following the regular season finale (polls closed at 11:59 p.m. on Friday, August 7 and awards will be presented at Jocktoberfest ‘09…date and time TBA)…thank you for your votes!
8/8 Studs: the Connecticut Cannons: offense (25 runs on 27 hits, eleven of them for extra bases, along with 14 free passes), defense (1 insignificant error in Game Two after a flawless Game One), and pitching (1 run on 10 hits, only 4 free passes, 12 strike outs, 2 CG, 2 W); Balcerzak (5 for 7, 2 2B, 2 BB, 3 R, 2 RBI, 4 SB); Dionicio (5 for 6, 2B, 2 3B, HR—the first-ever Cannons cycle—4 R, 8 RBI in Game Two); Maule (5 for 7, 2 2B, 3B, 2 BB, 5 R, 4 RBI, 2 SB); Patenaude (7 IP, 0 R, 4 H, 6 K, 0 BB, CG shutout, W); Quinn (7 IP, 1 ER, 6 H, 6 K, CG, W)
8/8 Duds: the Eastern Connecticut Cubs, going from swept to inept in the matter of a fortnight
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
CAPITAL WON
Cannons Crush Caps In Battle of Newington
Newington, CT (AP)— What’s in your dugout? A whole lot and not nearly enough were the answers to that question on this first weekend of August—a month that has proven magical on many occasion for Connecticut’s Team—as the Cannons took on the cross town rival Capitals in the fourth edition of what has come to be known as the “Battle of Newington,” a perennial paean to big market baseball in central Connecticut’s leading media market. The Cannons entered the final Sunday of the CNMSBL A Division’s regular season playing what Manager Matt Celio referred to as “must-win games”—“For our seeding purposes and our psyche,” following a duo of difficult defeats at the hands of the ninth seeded Eastern Connecticut Cubs last Sunday—and emerged victorious not once but twice, 12-4 and 15-2 via the mercy rule, on the backs of an offensive onslaught and potent pitching performances, emphatically ending a season-worst three-game slide with a Wild Card series at home against the Baby Bears looming this Saturday.
Game One saw the return of starter Mike Patenaude after a one-week layoff in a mismatch against Mike “Fish” Karp. After a brief fifteen minute delay during which the Caps scrambled to find a ninth player, Patenaude, pitching with increased confidence as battery-mate Kevin Quinn returned from a month-long absence, was touched for an unearned run in the first as Colwyn Krol reached on an error and eventually scored on Tony Malinosky’s ground out to short for a brief one-run advantage for the visitors. Chomping at the proverbial bit, Connecticut clicked offensively as Jason Maule walked, Leo Dionicio singled, and Bill Balcerzak doubled both home before Newington could record an out. Celio’s single scored “Billy Bush” later in the frame and the Cannons took the field with a 3-1 lead, one they would never relinquish. Patenaude set down the Caps in order in the second and the home team poured in four more runs as Chris Barsa coasted into second with a double, Kevin Quinn singled and stole second (Barsa, who had moved up ninety feet on the hit, scampered home for his team-leading second theft of the dish), Maule walked for the second time in as many innings, Dionicio added another base hit, and Balcerzak chipped in with a run-scoring fielder’s choice (like “T-Rex,” Quinn and Dionicio scored in the inning without the aid of a hit, making the score 7-1). Patenaude, working on a new off-speed pitch, allowed three runs in the third as Robert “I Am the Cheese” Cormier had a base hit, Champ Cristilli was hit by a pitch, Al Czervik poked an RBI knock, and Dave Sacco placed a seeing-eye single just out of reach of Dionicio at second with two down to cut the Cannons lead to 3, but the Cannons added an insurance run in the third as Josh Svoboda doubled and scored on a Mike McGann single, and three more in the fourth as McDowell and Tom Clark walked, Celio blooped a run-scoring single just out of reach of Cormier at short, and Svoboda, Barsa, and Quinn followed with bases on balls (Clark and Celio both rambled home on passed balls pushing the lead to 11-4 as Cristilli “used the ball as a pillow,” laying on McGann’s grounder up the middle to escape any further harm a la Mike Weber in the famous “grenade incident” of ‘05). After his twenty-eight pitch performance in the third, Patenaude (7 IP, 4 R, 3 ER, 5 H, 1 BB, 1 HBP, 7 K) faced just fourteen batters over the final four frames—a Balcerzak to Quinn play at the plate was the highlight—throwing forty-four pitches to land squarely on the century mark. The pitcher helped his own cause in the sixth, singling in his only regular season at-bat and scoring on Quinn’s base hit for the final tally in a 12-4 contest. “It’s great to get a win without the end result ever really being in doubt,” said the fifty-three year old lefty of the Cannons’ performance. “The team came to play today and twelve runs makes a pitcher’s job easy. Hopefully the guys can get even more in Game Two.” The offense would oblige.
Game Two pitted Quinn against Czervik and Connecticut’s well-rested righty was instantly up to the task, striking out the first two batters he faced while Jim Yanosy made a nice running grab on the left field line to end the inning (before leaving the park, Patenaude deadpanned, “I’ll go into early retirement if Quinn strikes out the side.” Barsa immediately expressed his wishes, “Please strike this third guy out,” while Celio uttered under his breath, “I wouldn’t necessarily call that retirement early.”). The Cannons then hung another early three-spot on the Capitals in the home half of the first as Maule doubled, Dionicio had a RBI single (he would later score on a passed ball), McDowell walked, stole second, and eventually scored through the back door as Svoboda punched a pitch to the right side. Quinn made quick work of the Caps in the second, allowing only a two-out walk to Sacco, and the Cannons were back at it, scoring six runs in the inning while sending ten batters to the plate. Quinn started things with a base hit, Adam Pallone took a base on balls, Rob DePalma dropped a run-singled on the outfield grass, and Yanosy walked to re-load the bases. Pallone scored as a ball squirted away from Texas native and wanna be Cannon Muney “4” Spendlin (Sacco said of the Game Two catcher, “The guy throws like he’s missing fingers.”). A one-run Maule single, a two-run Dionicio double, and a sacrifice fly by McDowell put Connecticut on top nine nothing after two, and the team was clearly thinking mercy rule as clouds closed in on New Cannon Yards. Newington scored an unearned run in the third as Celio failed to scoop a low Svoboda throw but more Cannons’ offense in the bottom of the frame made what was already a laugher into a gut-buster. Ten more batters stepped into the box against a visibly laboring Czervik as Quinn once again started the rally, this time taking a hit by pitch. Pallone and DePalma both worked their way on via walks and Yanosy hit a ball in the hole at short that failed to net a throw for a RBI. Maule singled scoring Pallone, Clark (as a courtesy runner for DePalma) scored on a passed ball, Dionicio ripped a run-scoring single, and Balcerzak reached on an error plating Maule with the fourteenth Cannons run. Quinn (4 IP, 1 R, 0 ER, 4 H, 1 BB, 6 K) allowed a single in the fourth before striking out the final two batters he faced, a perfect complimentary bookend to the start of the game. Connecticut added its final run of the contest as Clark doubled and scored on a Pallone sacrifice fly to make the score 15-1. Barsa (1 IP, 1 R, 0 ER, 0H, 2 BB), in his first ever A Division pitching performance, entered with battery-mate Dionicio, giving up only an unearned run when Celio squandered another scoop opportunity from Svoboda (“They don’t make a glove big enough for Celio,” joked McGann after the game) but the outcome was a forgone conclusion at that point and a ground ball back to the mound put the finishing touches on the most lopsided win in Cannons history at the upper level. “We have the potential to be the best the CNMSBL A Division has to offer which is what our players and fans have expected since Opening Day back in April,” Celio stated to members of the media. “We’re starting to come together in all phases of the game and we showed what kind of team we can be: we got solid contributions from everybody out there today and that is what has made us successful in the past and will be the key to a long postseason run over the next four weekends. We’re playing with the consistency and confidence that has been a trademark of Cannons Baseball over the past few seasons, especially at this time of year. I’m extremely excited about our prospects in the upcoming playoffs.”
Give the Caps credit: they still show up, lace up, and step up, even as fans and foes alike throw up at their pathetically paltry 1-21 mark. But this nearly bankrupt ballclub is not up to the challenge offered by the Cannons or any of their other A Division opponents. The Battle of Newington resoundingly fell in the Cannons favor but the biggest battles of the 2009 CNMSBL’s season-long war are visible on the sun-hazed horizon. The Connecticut Cannons are clearly loaded—not only as a result of post-game partying—and it seems a fire has finally been set to the fuse as the eighth month officially gets under way. The time for this team to explode on the rest of the A Division is now. Every eye in the baseball world will be focused on Newington, the Connecticut Cannons, and their upcoming quest for immortality this weekend. Does this team have not only the firepower but the intestinal (and testicular) fortitude to compete for and ultimately capture the CNMSBL Championship and the highly-coveted Clarke-Clinton Trophy in 2009? If Sunday was any indication, then the answer is a resounding YES! An opening round rematch against the ninth-seeded Eastern Connecticut Cubs, 7-15 and owners of a season series sweep against the Cannons on July 26, this Saturday (10:00 a.m.) marks the beginning of what should be an epic journey on the road to greatness. Talk is cheep: a statement needs to be made, payback is going to be a b***h, and the payment will undoubtedly be made in full! “Let’s shove it up their a***s,” Weber whooped on his weekly radio call-in program, Worldwide Web. Tickets for the first and second games on what sports fans call the CNMSBL’s Super Saturday are already sold out. If you’re lucky enough to have a set, pick up your balls and load up your Cannons for a twenty-one gun salute. For those about to rock the A Division playoffs, we salute you. Ready! AIM! FIRE! Let the hunt for BLUE August begin.
Cannons News and Notes: Bulletin board material: Eastern Connecticut Matt Cook wondered aloud to Celio as the Managers exchanged Game Two line-ups, “Where’s your cute, little blonde lefty?” in reference to an absent Patenaude; for the second consecutive campaign Connecticut crushed its all-time A Division best win total, notching its ninth regular season win on Sunday…the team’s 5-5 mark at New Cannon Yards is the best in three seasons at the facility; the Cannons took the season series from the Capitals for the third season in a row, a string of six straight victories (on the season, Connecticut won series from Bristol and Newington, split with Suffield and Winsted, and lost series to Eastern Connecticut, Hartford, and Windsor); Celio used a red Cannons Baseball pencil for the first time this season and it was a lucky thing he sharpened it before the game as the team exploded for 27 runs on 22 hits…as a result, the Cannons’ batting averaged rose significantly to an even .300 (five percentage points higher than last season’s A Division-best) to close out the regular season, a sign the team is heating up at the right time yet again (the overall opponents’ average dipped eight points to a pedestrian .268)…Connecticut has 165 total hits—30 more than last season—while the opposition has just 146…Dionicio had the 500th at-bat of the season, a Game One first inning single (one of six hits on the day for “El Dominican Dreamboat”)…the Cannons were outscored slightly on the regular season 113 to 107; Iron Man: Balcerzak became the first Cannon in two seasons to play in all of the team’s games; Celio and Pallone each played in his eighth game of the campaign on Sunday, joining Balcerzak, Barsa, Clark, DePalma, Dionicio, Tom Luby, Maule, McDowell, McGann, Patenaude, Quinn, Svoboda, Weber, and Yanosy in 2009 postseason eligibility; McGann (10 hits) and Quinn (12) entered the exclusive double-digit hit club on Sunday, coupled with Balcerzak (26), Maule (26…15 doubles), Dionicio (24), Luby (14), and McDowell (11) as Cannons to reach the ten-hit plateau; Patenaude (1.000), Maule (.520), Dionicio (.429), Balcerzak (.413), Quinn (.343), Celio (.333), and Barsa (.310) are the seven Cannon hitters currently with batting averages above .300 on the season (five Cannons are presently under the Mendoza Line); Maule led the team in seven of thirteen offensive statistical categories (doubles, runs, batting average, on-base percentage, slugging percentage, on-base + slugging percentage, and was tied for the lead in hits…the speedy centerfielder leads in eleven all-time A Division categories and is second in at-bats [190] to Dionicio [192])…Balcerzak was a leader in four categories (home runs, runs batted in, at-bats, and tied Maule in hits)…Celio’s 28 hits in the inaugural 2001 campaign are still a single-season high; Barsa’s triple against Bristol was the team’s only three-bagger of the campaign; McDowell’s 12 walks/hit by pitches were good for the team lead (he was the only player to reach double digits); Celio and Patenaude were the only players with a plate appearance who did not strike out on the season; Patenaude’s 5 wins on the season are a team A Division-best (“The Old Man of the ‘C’” is 24-28 in his regular season career with the Cannons)…the lefty posted a team-best 2:1 strike out to walk ratio; Quinn’s led the team on the season with an impressive 1.87 ERA; in passing the plate on Sunday, Celio took over the team’s all-time lead in runs scored (74), breaking a tie with “Father of Cannons Baseball” Andy Borst (the two original Cannons share the team mark with 43 free passes apiece); Maule’s 15 ’09 doubles give him 33 on his career, passing Celio and Luby for the team record (Celio and Luby are still one and two on the Cannons’ hit list with 132 and 129 respectively)…the centerfielder played in seventeen games and scored a first inning run in twelve of them, including nine of ten at home; Luby’s 11 homers and 90 RBI are both team bests; Weber’s 389 at-bats are the most ever for a Cannon; after his fourth strike out—one as he dropped his elbow into the strike zone…for the second time on Sunday and third time in two weeks—against inferior pitching, McDowell took off his shirt, stating simply, “I’m out.”…teammates told the “Ragin’ Cajun” that he was “Pulling a Checo,” a reference to the released rookie’s antics against Windsor; Brokeback Bally: in more dugout high jinx, Dionicio and Pallone discussed weird workouts as Clark chirped, “What, like guys spotting you with their balls in your mouth?”…Dionicio reflected and responded, “That actually happened to me. I was putting up 225 and the dude squatted right over my face. I cancelled my membership that afternoon…after doing several more sets. I’m just a gay magnet. If I was only half as lucky with the ladies, I’d be all set.”; former Cannon Drew Clarke started five games on the mound for the pitching-starved Capitals after his May release; Umpire Tom Garro is still under the incorrect assumption that Celio and Weber—this should be a major tip-off—are brothers, to which Weber offered the following witticism: “Brothers? We’re white.” (the gregarious Garro also recycled his boring Barsa bit—“Barsa’s got two strikes on him when he steps into the box,” et al—which is about as fresh as the Twinkee John McClane fired down in Die Hard circa 1988…the second mention of the Bruce Willis vehicle in as many weekends); on Sunday, Svoboda informed members of the media of his engagement…congrats Josh!; Celio hosted teammates in a regular season wrap-up after the games…Barsa, Balcerzak, Clark, DePalma, Dionicio, McGann, and Weber joined the Manager in West Hartford at Cannons World Headquarters; the ever-up front DePalma, perhaps most notably known for his inability to shoot his guy goo, showed teammates a picture of his forty year old female friend…Balcerzak took one look at the photo of the buxom blonde and said simply, “Hey Rob, I just shot right now.”; Clark, nostalgic for the past, tuned in to Scooby-Doo—“the one where Velma loses her glasses”—as Celio and McGann discussed his bombed blind date from the previous Monday (“Marty McFly” McGann hopes to purchase a DeLorean and outfit it with a Flux Capacitor in order to experience a Back to the Future-esque do-over of last Monday’s drunken debacle of a date…“I’m cute in a cute way,” said the Cannons double lead-off); Barsa and DePalma offered up ideas for the newest Cannons game show, with the two teammates joining McGann in a Dating Game-style scenario, competing for the affections of ladies from around the state (Clark’s response to the pitch: “Barsa, you have a good job. Go get a hooker, f**k a slut, leave ‘em happy. Don’t involve your friends. Leave us alone! You’re want what we married guys have but you only want to pay for one night out. I’m paying for the ring, the house, the kids, you name it.”)…in Boston last weekend, “C.W. Post” Barsa, a new nickname for the “serial” dater, attempted to set McGann up…with his own date…McGann’s three word rebuttal: “Barsa’s a douche.” (“Man on Fire” Clark, consuming a quadruple Red Bull and vodka, continued, “McGann’s a momma’s boy. Barsa’s a male slut. Pick your poison ladies: ten overly-involved family members versus ten venereal diseases,” and punched McGann in his package, twice, as “PETA” pulled the pop-tops on his beers)…instead of celebrating with teammates, McGann spent several hours locked in Celio’s bedroom accessing his all-important Facebook account…Clark’s response to the evening event’s: “Thanks for getting me cocked up and full of food. Hope I didn’t step on too many toes. I can be a dick…I guess it’s a gift!”; Patenaude, not known as a partier, e-mailed World Headquarters with the following bit of Irish wisdom: “Keep the beer flowing…it’s the only thing that brings hope.”; former Cannon and current Boston Brave Craig Perrier is batting .500 (20 for 40) and is currently in the top five in batting average in his MA league; it’s officially August: a reminder The Elbow Room, Plan B, and The Spigot, are now joined by Cocoa Kitchen and Bar as official sponsors of the 2009 Connecticut Cannons playoffs and a Friday evening fan fest is in the works; the team has twenty-four tickets for a luxury box at Dodd Stadium in Norwich for a contest between the Akron Aeros and Connecticut Defenders on Thursday, August 13; ballots for the 2009 Cannons Awards were issued to voters early Monday morning (2:45 a.m.)…polls are currently open—four full ballots have already been cast—and will remain so until 11:59 p.m. on Friday, August 7…Choose or Lose!
8/2 Studs: Dionicio (6 for 7, 2B, 4 R, 4 RBI, 2 SB); Maule (3 for 5, 2B, 2 BB, 5 R, 2 RBI, SB); Patenaude (1 for 1, R; 7 IP, 3 ER, 5 H, 7 K, CG, W); Quinn (3 for 4, 2 BB, HBP, 3 R, RBI; 4 IP, 0 ER, 4 H, 6 K, W)
8/2 Duds: the Newington Capitals (1-21; .045 winning percentage in ‘09)
Cannons Crush Caps In Battle of Newington
Newington, CT (AP)— What’s in your dugout? A whole lot and not nearly enough were the answers to that question on this first weekend of August—a month that has proven magical on many occasion for Connecticut’s Team—as the Cannons took on the cross town rival Capitals in the fourth edition of what has come to be known as the “Battle of Newington,” a perennial paean to big market baseball in central Connecticut’s leading media market. The Cannons entered the final Sunday of the CNMSBL A Division’s regular season playing what Manager Matt Celio referred to as “must-win games”—“For our seeding purposes and our psyche,” following a duo of difficult defeats at the hands of the ninth seeded Eastern Connecticut Cubs last Sunday—and emerged victorious not once but twice, 12-4 and 15-2 via the mercy rule, on the backs of an offensive onslaught and potent pitching performances, emphatically ending a season-worst three-game slide with a Wild Card series at home against the Baby Bears looming this Saturday.
Game One saw the return of starter Mike Patenaude after a one-week layoff in a mismatch against Mike “Fish” Karp. After a brief fifteen minute delay during which the Caps scrambled to find a ninth player, Patenaude, pitching with increased confidence as battery-mate Kevin Quinn returned from a month-long absence, was touched for an unearned run in the first as Colwyn Krol reached on an error and eventually scored on Tony Malinosky’s ground out to short for a brief one-run advantage for the visitors. Chomping at the proverbial bit, Connecticut clicked offensively as Jason Maule walked, Leo Dionicio singled, and Bill Balcerzak doubled both home before Newington could record an out. Celio’s single scored “Billy Bush” later in the frame and the Cannons took the field with a 3-1 lead, one they would never relinquish. Patenaude set down the Caps in order in the second and the home team poured in four more runs as Chris Barsa coasted into second with a double, Kevin Quinn singled and stole second (Barsa, who had moved up ninety feet on the hit, scampered home for his team-leading second theft of the dish), Maule walked for the second time in as many innings, Dionicio added another base hit, and Balcerzak chipped in with a run-scoring fielder’s choice (like “T-Rex,” Quinn and Dionicio scored in the inning without the aid of a hit, making the score 7-1). Patenaude, working on a new off-speed pitch, allowed three runs in the third as Robert “I Am the Cheese” Cormier had a base hit, Champ Cristilli was hit by a pitch, Al Czervik poked an RBI knock, and Dave Sacco placed a seeing-eye single just out of reach of Dionicio at second with two down to cut the Cannons lead to 3, but the Cannons added an insurance run in the third as Josh Svoboda doubled and scored on a Mike McGann single, and three more in the fourth as McDowell and Tom Clark walked, Celio blooped a run-scoring single just out of reach of Cormier at short, and Svoboda, Barsa, and Quinn followed with bases on balls (Clark and Celio both rambled home on passed balls pushing the lead to 11-4 as Cristilli “used the ball as a pillow,” laying on McGann’s grounder up the middle to escape any further harm a la Mike Weber in the famous “grenade incident” of ‘05). After his twenty-eight pitch performance in the third, Patenaude (7 IP, 4 R, 3 ER, 5 H, 1 BB, 1 HBP, 7 K) faced just fourteen batters over the final four frames—a Balcerzak to Quinn play at the plate was the highlight—throwing forty-four pitches to land squarely on the century mark. The pitcher helped his own cause in the sixth, singling in his only regular season at-bat and scoring on Quinn’s base hit for the final tally in a 12-4 contest. “It’s great to get a win without the end result ever really being in doubt,” said the fifty-three year old lefty of the Cannons’ performance. “The team came to play today and twelve runs makes a pitcher’s job easy. Hopefully the guys can get even more in Game Two.” The offense would oblige.
Game Two pitted Quinn against Czervik and Connecticut’s well-rested righty was instantly up to the task, striking out the first two batters he faced while Jim Yanosy made a nice running grab on the left field line to end the inning (before leaving the park, Patenaude deadpanned, “I’ll go into early retirement if Quinn strikes out the side.” Barsa immediately expressed his wishes, “Please strike this third guy out,” while Celio uttered under his breath, “I wouldn’t necessarily call that retirement early.”). The Cannons then hung another early three-spot on the Capitals in the home half of the first as Maule doubled, Dionicio had a RBI single (he would later score on a passed ball), McDowell walked, stole second, and eventually scored through the back door as Svoboda punched a pitch to the right side. Quinn made quick work of the Caps in the second, allowing only a two-out walk to Sacco, and the Cannons were back at it, scoring six runs in the inning while sending ten batters to the plate. Quinn started things with a base hit, Adam Pallone took a base on balls, Rob DePalma dropped a run-singled on the outfield grass, and Yanosy walked to re-load the bases. Pallone scored as a ball squirted away from Texas native and wanna be Cannon Muney “4” Spendlin (Sacco said of the Game Two catcher, “The guy throws like he’s missing fingers.”). A one-run Maule single, a two-run Dionicio double, and a sacrifice fly by McDowell put Connecticut on top nine nothing after two, and the team was clearly thinking mercy rule as clouds closed in on New Cannon Yards. Newington scored an unearned run in the third as Celio failed to scoop a low Svoboda throw but more Cannons’ offense in the bottom of the frame made what was already a laugher into a gut-buster. Ten more batters stepped into the box against a visibly laboring Czervik as Quinn once again started the rally, this time taking a hit by pitch. Pallone and DePalma both worked their way on via walks and Yanosy hit a ball in the hole at short that failed to net a throw for a RBI. Maule singled scoring Pallone, Clark (as a courtesy runner for DePalma) scored on a passed ball, Dionicio ripped a run-scoring single, and Balcerzak reached on an error plating Maule with the fourteenth Cannons run. Quinn (4 IP, 1 R, 0 ER, 4 H, 1 BB, 6 K) allowed a single in the fourth before striking out the final two batters he faced, a perfect complimentary bookend to the start of the game. Connecticut added its final run of the contest as Clark doubled and scored on a Pallone sacrifice fly to make the score 15-1. Barsa (1 IP, 1 R, 0 ER, 0H, 2 BB), in his first ever A Division pitching performance, entered with battery-mate Dionicio, giving up only an unearned run when Celio squandered another scoop opportunity from Svoboda (“They don’t make a glove big enough for Celio,” joked McGann after the game) but the outcome was a forgone conclusion at that point and a ground ball back to the mound put the finishing touches on the most lopsided win in Cannons history at the upper level. “We have the potential to be the best the CNMSBL A Division has to offer which is what our players and fans have expected since Opening Day back in April,” Celio stated to members of the media. “We’re starting to come together in all phases of the game and we showed what kind of team we can be: we got solid contributions from everybody out there today and that is what has made us successful in the past and will be the key to a long postseason run over the next four weekends. We’re playing with the consistency and confidence that has been a trademark of Cannons Baseball over the past few seasons, especially at this time of year. I’m extremely excited about our prospects in the upcoming playoffs.”
Give the Caps credit: they still show up, lace up, and step up, even as fans and foes alike throw up at their pathetically paltry 1-21 mark. But this nearly bankrupt ballclub is not up to the challenge offered by the Cannons or any of their other A Division opponents. The Battle of Newington resoundingly fell in the Cannons favor but the biggest battles of the 2009 CNMSBL’s season-long war are visible on the sun-hazed horizon. The Connecticut Cannons are clearly loaded—not only as a result of post-game partying—and it seems a fire has finally been set to the fuse as the eighth month officially gets under way. The time for this team to explode on the rest of the A Division is now. Every eye in the baseball world will be focused on Newington, the Connecticut Cannons, and their upcoming quest for immortality this weekend. Does this team have not only the firepower but the intestinal (and testicular) fortitude to compete for and ultimately capture the CNMSBL Championship and the highly-coveted Clarke-Clinton Trophy in 2009? If Sunday was any indication, then the answer is a resounding YES! An opening round rematch against the ninth-seeded Eastern Connecticut Cubs, 7-15 and owners of a season series sweep against the Cannons on July 26, this Saturday (10:00 a.m.) marks the beginning of what should be an epic journey on the road to greatness. Talk is cheep: a statement needs to be made, payback is going to be a b***h, and the payment will undoubtedly be made in full! “Let’s shove it up their a***s,” Weber whooped on his weekly radio call-in program, Worldwide Web. Tickets for the first and second games on what sports fans call the CNMSBL’s Super Saturday are already sold out. If you’re lucky enough to have a set, pick up your balls and load up your Cannons for a twenty-one gun salute. For those about to rock the A Division playoffs, we salute you. Ready! AIM! FIRE! Let the hunt for BLUE August begin.
Cannons News and Notes: Bulletin board material: Eastern Connecticut Matt Cook wondered aloud to Celio as the Managers exchanged Game Two line-ups, “Where’s your cute, little blonde lefty?” in reference to an absent Patenaude; for the second consecutive campaign Connecticut crushed its all-time A Division best win total, notching its ninth regular season win on Sunday…the team’s 5-5 mark at New Cannon Yards is the best in three seasons at the facility; the Cannons took the season series from the Capitals for the third season in a row, a string of six straight victories (on the season, Connecticut won series from Bristol and Newington, split with Suffield and Winsted, and lost series to Eastern Connecticut, Hartford, and Windsor); Celio used a red Cannons Baseball pencil for the first time this season and it was a lucky thing he sharpened it before the game as the team exploded for 27 runs on 22 hits…as a result, the Cannons’ batting averaged rose significantly to an even .300 (five percentage points higher than last season’s A Division-best) to close out the regular season, a sign the team is heating up at the right time yet again (the overall opponents’ average dipped eight points to a pedestrian .268)…Connecticut has 165 total hits—30 more than last season—while the opposition has just 146…Dionicio had the 500th at-bat of the season, a Game One first inning single (one of six hits on the day for “El Dominican Dreamboat”)…the Cannons were outscored slightly on the regular season 113 to 107; Iron Man: Balcerzak became the first Cannon in two seasons to play in all of the team’s games; Celio and Pallone each played in his eighth game of the campaign on Sunday, joining Balcerzak, Barsa, Clark, DePalma, Dionicio, Tom Luby, Maule, McDowell, McGann, Patenaude, Quinn, Svoboda, Weber, and Yanosy in 2009 postseason eligibility; McGann (10 hits) and Quinn (12) entered the exclusive double-digit hit club on Sunday, coupled with Balcerzak (26), Maule (26…15 doubles), Dionicio (24), Luby (14), and McDowell (11) as Cannons to reach the ten-hit plateau; Patenaude (1.000), Maule (.520), Dionicio (.429), Balcerzak (.413), Quinn (.343), Celio (.333), and Barsa (.310) are the seven Cannon hitters currently with batting averages above .300 on the season (five Cannons are presently under the Mendoza Line); Maule led the team in seven of thirteen offensive statistical categories (doubles, runs, batting average, on-base percentage, slugging percentage, on-base + slugging percentage, and was tied for the lead in hits…the speedy centerfielder leads in eleven all-time A Division categories and is second in at-bats [190] to Dionicio [192])…Balcerzak was a leader in four categories (home runs, runs batted in, at-bats, and tied Maule in hits)…Celio’s 28 hits in the inaugural 2001 campaign are still a single-season high; Barsa’s triple against Bristol was the team’s only three-bagger of the campaign; McDowell’s 12 walks/hit by pitches were good for the team lead (he was the only player to reach double digits); Celio and Patenaude were the only players with a plate appearance who did not strike out on the season; Patenaude’s 5 wins on the season are a team A Division-best (“The Old Man of the ‘C’” is 24-28 in his regular season career with the Cannons)…the lefty posted a team-best 2:1 strike out to walk ratio; Quinn’s led the team on the season with an impressive 1.87 ERA; in passing the plate on Sunday, Celio took over the team’s all-time lead in runs scored (74), breaking a tie with “Father of Cannons Baseball” Andy Borst (the two original Cannons share the team mark with 43 free passes apiece); Maule’s 15 ’09 doubles give him 33 on his career, passing Celio and Luby for the team record (Celio and Luby are still one and two on the Cannons’ hit list with 132 and 129 respectively)…the centerfielder played in seventeen games and scored a first inning run in twelve of them, including nine of ten at home; Luby’s 11 homers and 90 RBI are both team bests; Weber’s 389 at-bats are the most ever for a Cannon; after his fourth strike out—one as he dropped his elbow into the strike zone…for the second time on Sunday and third time in two weeks—against inferior pitching, McDowell took off his shirt, stating simply, “I’m out.”…teammates told the “Ragin’ Cajun” that he was “Pulling a Checo,” a reference to the released rookie’s antics against Windsor; Brokeback Bally: in more dugout high jinx, Dionicio and Pallone discussed weird workouts as Clark chirped, “What, like guys spotting you with their balls in your mouth?”…Dionicio reflected and responded, “That actually happened to me. I was putting up 225 and the dude squatted right over my face. I cancelled my membership that afternoon…after doing several more sets. I’m just a gay magnet. If I was only half as lucky with the ladies, I’d be all set.”; former Cannon Drew Clarke started five games on the mound for the pitching-starved Capitals after his May release; Umpire Tom Garro is still under the incorrect assumption that Celio and Weber—this should be a major tip-off—are brothers, to which Weber offered the following witticism: “Brothers? We’re white.” (the gregarious Garro also recycled his boring Barsa bit—“Barsa’s got two strikes on him when he steps into the box,” et al—which is about as fresh as the Twinkee John McClane fired down in Die Hard circa 1988…the second mention of the Bruce Willis vehicle in as many weekends); on Sunday, Svoboda informed members of the media of his engagement…congrats Josh!; Celio hosted teammates in a regular season wrap-up after the games…Barsa, Balcerzak, Clark, DePalma, Dionicio, McGann, and Weber joined the Manager in West Hartford at Cannons World Headquarters; the ever-up front DePalma, perhaps most notably known for his inability to shoot his guy goo, showed teammates a picture of his forty year old female friend…Balcerzak took one look at the photo of the buxom blonde and said simply, “Hey Rob, I just shot right now.”; Clark, nostalgic for the past, tuned in to Scooby-Doo—“the one where Velma loses her glasses”—as Celio and McGann discussed his bombed blind date from the previous Monday (“Marty McFly” McGann hopes to purchase a DeLorean and outfit it with a Flux Capacitor in order to experience a Back to the Future-esque do-over of last Monday’s drunken debacle of a date…“I’m cute in a cute way,” said the Cannons double lead-off); Barsa and DePalma offered up ideas for the newest Cannons game show, with the two teammates joining McGann in a Dating Game-style scenario, competing for the affections of ladies from around the state (Clark’s response to the pitch: “Barsa, you have a good job. Go get a hooker, f**k a slut, leave ‘em happy. Don’t involve your friends. Leave us alone! You’re want what we married guys have but you only want to pay for one night out. I’m paying for the ring, the house, the kids, you name it.”)…in Boston last weekend, “C.W. Post” Barsa, a new nickname for the “serial” dater, attempted to set McGann up…with his own date…McGann’s three word rebuttal: “Barsa’s a douche.” (“Man on Fire” Clark, consuming a quadruple Red Bull and vodka, continued, “McGann’s a momma’s boy. Barsa’s a male slut. Pick your poison ladies: ten overly-involved family members versus ten venereal diseases,” and punched McGann in his package, twice, as “PETA” pulled the pop-tops on his beers)…instead of celebrating with teammates, McGann spent several hours locked in Celio’s bedroom accessing his all-important Facebook account…Clark’s response to the evening event’s: “Thanks for getting me cocked up and full of food. Hope I didn’t step on too many toes. I can be a dick…I guess it’s a gift!”; Patenaude, not known as a partier, e-mailed World Headquarters with the following bit of Irish wisdom: “Keep the beer flowing…it’s the only thing that brings hope.”; former Cannon and current Boston Brave Craig Perrier is batting .500 (20 for 40) and is currently in the top five in batting average in his MA league; it’s officially August: a reminder The Elbow Room, Plan B, and The Spigot, are now joined by Cocoa Kitchen and Bar as official sponsors of the 2009 Connecticut Cannons playoffs and a Friday evening fan fest is in the works; the team has twenty-four tickets for a luxury box at Dodd Stadium in Norwich for a contest between the Akron Aeros and Connecticut Defenders on Thursday, August 13; ballots for the 2009 Cannons Awards were issued to voters early Monday morning (2:45 a.m.)…polls are currently open—four full ballots have already been cast—and will remain so until 11:59 p.m. on Friday, August 7…Choose or Lose!
8/2 Studs: Dionicio (6 for 7, 2B, 4 R, 4 RBI, 2 SB); Maule (3 for 5, 2B, 2 BB, 5 R, 2 RBI, SB); Patenaude (1 for 1, R; 7 IP, 3 ER, 5 H, 7 K, CG, W); Quinn (3 for 4, 2 BB, HBP, 3 R, RBI; 4 IP, 0 ER, 4 H, 6 K, W)
8/2 Duds: the Newington Capitals (1-21; .045 winning percentage in ‘09)
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
“BEAR TRAP” GAMES
Cubs Come To Play, Cannons To Coast, Results Likely Resign Connecticut To Postseason Play-In
Newington, CT (AP)—“Cubbies Collar Cannons.” “Smoked!” “Brokeback Valley.” “Déjà Ew.” “Misfire.” “Out of Order.” “Lit Up.” “Outgunned In the Outer Reaches.” “Hook, Line, and Stinkers.” These are just some of the headlines, a rogue’s gallery of wretchedness if you will, used to announce sweeps to loyal readers and fans of the Connecticut Cannons since the team joined the CNMSBL A Division to start the 2006 season. Following the magical championship campaign of 2005, the Big Guns decided to set sights on the Big Boys and the ensuing results have been a mixed bag. Improvement is apparent nearly each an every time the team takes the diamond yet, despite this enriching effect, it is still the rare Sunday the Cannons to come to the park as the heavy favorite, for the team has spent most of the time in the so-called second division. However, this was exactly the case at New Cannon Yards in Newington over the weekend when the Eastern Connecticut Cubs (5-13) came calling. Connecticut, expecting excellence with its final four games against the league’s ninth and tenth seeds, looked to leapfrog into at least sixth place, a first weekend playoff pass, and a more enviable postseason match-up with three or more wins. Instead the litany of lost Sundays that has marred many seasons-passed once again reared its ugly head and instead of a standings surge, the Cannons regressed a step and now enter August on a three-game skid, the longest of 2009. “It’s been awhile since we’ve played this poorly,” a melancholy Manager Matt Celio mentioned as he mulled over the momentum-halting mess. “Long day and a couple of the toughest losses we’ve suffered since joining the upper division. We came out flat and I’ve got to take full responsibility for that lack of fire. We struggled at times in all facets of the game—offense, defense, pitching—and we let an inferior opponent dictate the day. The Cubs ran roughshod all over us, our first truly terrible weekend since playing the [Windsor] Mets back in early June, and this is not the time of year one wants to have red flags raised. We’re as talent-laden as any team in the league: we simply need to put all the pieces together and quickly recapture that swagger that makes us such a tough out each and every August. Sunday wasn’t everything we expected it to be but we get another whack at things next week when I count on us playing classic Cannons Baseball.”
Game One saw surprise starter Drew McDowell take the mound for the Cannons against Clement Dobrinski of the Cubs (after single relief appearances in both the ’07 and ’08 seasons, this marked McDowell’s first start in fourteen years, causing “Gentleman” Jim Yanosy to comment, “Well, at least we know he’s well-rested.”). Rest manifested itself as rust expectedly as McDowell surrendered a lead-off single to Rouge Moulin but after a pair of ground ball outs to the left side it appeared as if the righty might escape the inning unscathed. However, an error at short and a single by Augustus Busch scored two, forcing the “Ragin’ Cajun” to throw an additional twelve pitches—a continued troubling trend for a staff short on strike out pitchers—before retiring Leo Durocher on a fielder’s choice. In the home half of the first, Connecticut was able to knot the score at two as Jason Maule singled to once again set the table (this was the ninth time in fourteen games the reigning Co-Cannons Offensive Player of the Year has led off with a hit; Maule has also walked and reached on an error in this spot for an astronomical .786 OBP to start games). McDowell worked a walk and Bill “Hairway to Heaven” Balcerzak belted a double to deep centerfield, plating the pair. McDowell (1+ IP, 5 R, 4 ER, 2 H, 3 BB, 1 HBP) tired noticeably in the second frame, hitting a batter and walking two, before Celio came to get him (“I sucked plus I’m sore, so it’s not a winning combination,” “Drew Diesel” told reporters in his postgame presser). Tom Luby (1 IP, 0 R, 1 H, 1 K) bridged the gap admirably between McDowell and Tom Clark though another infield error was followed by a base hit, this time allowing three runs to cross, for a 5-2 Eastern edge. The Cubs padded their lead in the middle innings, scoring five runs, three of them earned, against Clark pushing the lead to eight but the Cannons refused to go quietly and mounted a merry-go-round of a threat in the bottom of the fifth frame. Rob DePalma entered as a pinch hitter and, with a positive plate approach, earned a lead-off base on balls. Mike “PETA” McGann and Maule followed suit with free passes to load the bases and McDowell was beaned squarely on the left elbow to bring home a run. A Luby single scored two, cutting further into the Cubs advantage and Dionicio hit a ball the opposite way for a single while Clark’s knock scored McDowell as the Cannons clawed back to a four-run deficit. However, hard-throwing right-handed relief pitcher Brian “Vision Quest” Shutt was able to slam the door, retiring Mike Weber and Steve Markie to maintain a comfortable bulge. Clark (5 IP, 6 R, 3 ER, 5 H, 1 K, 2 BB, 1 HBP) kept the Cubs in check in the sixth but was touched for an unearned run in the seventh as an overthrow allowed Busch to scamper home with Eastern’s eleventh run. Balcerzak beat out a close throw for an infield base hit in the last inning, but Jim Cook’s stellar diving stop of a Luby grounder all but destined to reach the outfield resulted in a double play and the Cubbies would quietly record the final out on a pop to second for their sixth win of the season. Assistant Manager Weber was impressed by the effort of the pitching staff but knew this was not a game to write home about: “Our pitchers were all put in tough spots, gave us everything they had, and kept us close, but those freebies from walks, errors, stolen bases, passed balls, and wild pitches will definitely come back to haunt a team. We all understand that we need to play better ball if we want to make a deep run in the postseason. We’ve got the guys to do it but everybody has to provide maximum effort at all times if a championship is in our immediate future, as I fully expect it is.”
Game Two matched Connecticut’s Yanosy against Eastern Connecticut’s Gorman “Illegal Alien” Apone in his first pitching performance in the A Division. The Cubs offense got to work early against Yanosy, making the sixth start and seventh pitching appearance of his rookie campaign, by scoring three runs on a seeing-eye single by Ford “Teeter” Harris, a base on balls by Cook, and a three-run blast to left by Jacob Dunnack to bolster an already boisterous Baby Bear bench. Left fielder McGann had a bead on the ball but told reporters, “I just ran out of real estate,” and Connecticut trailed yet again. The Cannons, playing with confidence at home even when behind, looked to come back immediately as Maule singled and McDowell hit a soft roller to the right that the speedy centerfielder clearly beat out in a bang-bang fielder’s choice at second. But field umpire Steve “Sir D**k” Wonder, apparently caught up in the moment of each and every close play favoring the Cubbies, called Maule out and a possible rally was ruined. Balcerzak followed with an infield base hit as middle infielders Cook and Harris collided violently, but “Louisiana Deceptively Fast” was gunned at third as “Teet” somehow gathered the ball from the wreckage and threw a perfect strike to Busch who applied the tag. Luby reached on an error and Dionicio singled but Connecticut was unable to break through as Weber took a cut at a high 2-1 fastball and fouled out to first on a slider away ending the inning (“My green and gold kryptonites,” said Web as he ducked back into the dugout). Eastern tacked on runs in each of the next three frames against Yanosy (4 IP, 7 R, 5 ER, 7 H, 2 K, 2 BB), and though Connecticut threatened, leaving the bases loaded again in the second and two runners on in the fourth, the team was unable to find an answer for Apone. “Adam Bomb” Pallone (1 IP, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 H, 4 BB) entered in relief with his team down a crooked number but, after getting the first two outs on fly balls to left and right, lost some of his control, walking the bases loaded and issuing a run-scoring free pass to Mathias Noheimer, pushing the score to 8-0 before inducing an unassisted ground out to Luby at third. “El Dominican Dreamboat” made the first mound appearance of his eventful Cannons career (2 IP, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 H, 1 K, 3 BB, 1 HBP), pitching the final two frames and allowing a lone run as Cook’s Cubs executed a seventh inning suicide squeeze with an eight-run advantage (Dionicio then plunked Shutt in the back in retaliation). Though the Cannons were again able to put themselves in scoring situations in the fifth, sixth, and seventh, the team was unable to plate a run and was shutout for just the second time this season (a 2-0 loss to the Suffield Irish on the last day of May). “A major missed opportunity,” said Celio as he discussed the losses. “Now it’s very likely we’ll see the Cubs again come early August. Clearly not our best performance of the season but I expect our guys to remember these games: people talking trash and whooping it up at our expense, opposing players taking pictures during the contest, and an exclamation mark squeeze play that did nothing but add insult to injury. I never want us in a war of words and I’m not going to use umpires as an excuse; that’s just not Connecticut Cannons Baseball in my opinion. I like our play to speak for itself, and speak volumes at that, and we’d all love to add a championship chapter to our storied history. The Cubs played about as well as they could and, when combined with the fact that the Cannons played about as poorly as we could, it’s unsurprising they came in and kicked our butts today. We’re a better ballclub than we showed out there so hopefully we can take some positives, like getting certain pieces of our playoff roster in order and having guys give everything they’ve got for the good of the team, away from this. We truly have talent, all that we need to win the A Division title in 2009 in fact, but we have to play a better brand of baseball, minimize mistakes and maximize opportunities, before our potential can play itself out. If we do this, the Cannons will without question be a tough out to wrap up the regular season and, even more importantly, come tournament time in a couple of weekends.”
By simple definition, trap games are those where a team looks past a mediocre-to-poor opponent with sights set on future successes, in this instance perhaps a pair against the cross-town rival Capitals and a possible bye week come playoff time. In these cases, the team in question may not be as focused or prepared as it should be and that certainly seems to have been the case at New Cannon Yards on Sunday. All involved with the Cannons hope this was a mirage, a minor misstep before the second season starts. August is all but upon us and the eighth month brings optimism and often incredible results for the Connecticut Cannons and the frenzied fan base known as Cannon Nation is counting on that being case again this year. What is the caliber of this team? Does it have the necessary firepower to compete for and ultimately capture the CNMSBL’s Clarke-Clinton Trophy in 2009? Sunday marks the final step in the twenty-game regular season journey but is hopefully just the beginning of an amazing August for the Boys in Blue. It has to start somewhere. It has to start sometime. What better place than here? What better time than now? Is everything plays out according to plan, all hell won’t be able to stop the Cannons now. Championship or bust!
Cannons News and Notes: The Cannons take on the Capitals (1-15, tenth place), in the regular season finale and annual “Battle of Newington” at New Cannon Yards on Sunday, August 2…the final games on this season-ending ten-game homestand are sold out; Connecticut stayed stuck tied for its all-time A Division best seven–win total from last season and looks to master that mark on the season’s final Sunday; the Cannons dropped their third season series (Eastern Connecticut, Hartford, Windsor); the Cannons’ batting averaged rose slightly to .285 through nine Sundays, a sign the team might be getting hot at the right time yet again (the overall opponents’ average dipped from .278 to .276)…Connecticut has 142 total hits while the opposition has 137…the next at-bat will be the team’s 500th of the season…the Cannons have been outscored 107 to 93; Balcerzak, Chris Barsa, Clark, DePalma, Dionicio, Luby, Maule, McDowell, McGann, Patenaude, Kevin Quinn, Josh Svoboda, Weber, and Yanosy have all played in eight or more games for the Cannons this season, achieving postseason eligibility (Celio [2], Markie [1], and Pallone [2] can join their teammates by competing in the games against the Caps…Juan Checo, though eligible for the CNMSBL postseason, has joined a softball league in the Springfield, MA area…’09 roster invitees Andy Borst and Drew Clarke failed to play in a single game and, therefore, are ineligible); McGann and Quinn (9 hits apiece) and Barsa and Clark (8) look to join Balcerzak (25), Maule (23…14 doubles), Dionicio (18), Luby (14), and McDowell (11) as Cannons to reach the ’09 double-digit hit plateau; Maule (.511), Balcerzak (.439), Dionicio (.367), McDowell (.314), and Barsa (.308) are the five Cannon hitters currently with batting averages above .300 on the season (seven Cannons are presently under the Mendoza Line…P Patenaude has not had a plate appearance); McDowell mistakenly stepped to the plate with a weighted bat and a game ball tucked under his chin…“It’s not the first time he’s had balls on his chin,” joked Dionicio (“Señor Cinco” also told any and all interested parties—meaning nobody—repeatedly, “I’m Rick James!”); after “El Heartthrob de Hispaniola” committed his fourth error on the day (a dropped pop fly that Dionicio claims no white player would have even gotten a glove on), son Brian said shame-faced, “My Dad sucks.” (Weber said the team went to the “Mouth From the South” in relief for one reason only: “He’s likely to make fewer errors on the mound.”)…Dionicio’s eldest offspring also added during Celio’s Game Two at-bat: “Is that the coach? He actually gets to play?”; DePalma once again hosted teammates after the games…Celio, Dionicio, Luby, and Weber joined “Hairy” at his New Britain home; Dionicio delighted teammates after the games by telling them, “This is all an act, I Dominican down for the weekends. I am the boss of twenty-plus Blanquitos from Monday through Friday, hardly have an accent, and have often served as a keynote speaker at Travelers training seminars.”…somebody please post video of this on YouTube!; Beantown Bombshell: McGann discovered on a road trip to Boston with teammate Barsa that on at least one occasion “T-Rex” has passed his phone number to his waitress on the bill in numbers big enough for his date to see…also, it was learned that “The Terrorist” is a “drink counter” (i.e., he keeps track of the number of cocktails consumed by his companions for financial and sexual purposes); The Continental: like Christopher Walken’s ever-so-suave ladies man from the popular Saturday Night Live skit, DePalma confided in Celio that he has consummated relationships in the Biblical sense with women linked by blood to five of the Earth’s seven continents (he has not yet nailed an Australian and Antarctica has no permanent population, though he does find penguins fascinating and sexy); Umpire Jason Rentas accounted for an unlikely daily double, working both ends of the double dip behind the dish (Dionicio joked with the all-Latino crew and non-Caucasian Cubs battery, “There are four illegal immigrants here. Billy [Balcerzak is an INS agent], I’ll give these guys up immediately if I can get my green card.”)…Rentas must have believed Quest Tec was in place, as his tiny strike zone consistently confounded Cannons pitchers…as a result, McDowell’s ERA ballooned from 28.00 to 31.50; C & C Movie Factory: Celio and Clark are collaborating on a screenplay loosely based on Clark’s experiences growing up as a ballplayer in the 70’s: “It’s our Good Will Hunting,” promised the pitcher…“As long as I’m Matt Damon,” said Celio; Clark told teammates that there are many known opium dens out in Eastern’s neck of the woods: “I’m not surprised these guys play the games like an AA support group.”; McGann takes the Praxis I exam today at 2:00 p.m. in Glastonbury: “Fifth times a charm,” lamented the “Mayor of Manville”…Celio once again tried to make a love connection for his Cannon compadre McGann but instead was forced to witness the carnage firsthand as the “Smooth Operator’s” shortcomings were on full display: 1) told blonde beauty, the lovely Liz, she has man hands and clown feet; 2) constantly and annoyingly pawed the hair and neck of his blind date on a sultry summer afternoon and evening, telling her in coy double entendre, “You’re so wet.”; 3) spoke of other ladies he’s loved, including a Bollywood dancer named Seema…“Not an American Indian, but no dot either.”; 4) answered “Green” when asked his lucky number; and 5) promised to cook the young lady the dinner of her choice, promising “Anything you want.” When a high protein meat-lovers meal was requested, McGann replied, “Oh, I’m not making that. I’m famous for my meatloaf turkey—not the other way around—and seafood medley.” (Celio and McGann closed out the evening watching Die Hard and “John McLame” went home alone and used his Hans on his Gruber); it’s August this weekend: a reminder The Elbow Room, Plan B, and The Spigot, are now joined by Cocoa Kitchen and Bar as official sponsors of the 2009 Connecticut Cannons playoffs; the team has twenty-four tickets for a luxury box at Dodd Stadium in Norwich for a contest between the Akron Aeros and Connecticut Defenders on Thursday, August 13; Celio will put on a post-game party following the games against the cross-town rival Newington Capitals on Sunday…the Manager is also exploring possible August dates for Italian-Fest ’09; in less than one week (Monday, August 3) players will be in possession of their ballots for the 2009 Cannons Awards (polls will remain open until 11:59 p.m. on Friday, August 7)…Choose or Lose!
7/26 Studs: Balcerzak (4 for 8, 2B, 2 RBI); Clark (2 for 6, RBI; 5 IP, 1 K giving the Cannons a fighting chance in the opener); DePalma (1 for 1, BB, R); Luby (2 H, BB, 2 RBI; 1 IP, 0 R, 1 K); Maule (3 for 5, 2B, 3 BB, 2 R, SB, outfield assist to cut a runner down at the dish); McDowell (2 BB, HBP in Game One)
7/26 Duds: an inconsistent Cannons offense (20 runners left on base, leaving the bases loaded three times in fourteen frames; shout out in Game Two) and defense (9 errors leading to six unearned runs)
Cubs Come To Play, Cannons To Coast, Results Likely Resign Connecticut To Postseason Play-In
Newington, CT (AP)—“Cubbies Collar Cannons.” “Smoked!” “Brokeback Valley.” “Déjà Ew.” “Misfire.” “Out of Order.” “Lit Up.” “Outgunned In the Outer Reaches.” “Hook, Line, and Stinkers.” These are just some of the headlines, a rogue’s gallery of wretchedness if you will, used to announce sweeps to loyal readers and fans of the Connecticut Cannons since the team joined the CNMSBL A Division to start the 2006 season. Following the magical championship campaign of 2005, the Big Guns decided to set sights on the Big Boys and the ensuing results have been a mixed bag. Improvement is apparent nearly each an every time the team takes the diamond yet, despite this enriching effect, it is still the rare Sunday the Cannons to come to the park as the heavy favorite, for the team has spent most of the time in the so-called second division. However, this was exactly the case at New Cannon Yards in Newington over the weekend when the Eastern Connecticut Cubs (5-13) came calling. Connecticut, expecting excellence with its final four games against the league’s ninth and tenth seeds, looked to leapfrog into at least sixth place, a first weekend playoff pass, and a more enviable postseason match-up with three or more wins. Instead the litany of lost Sundays that has marred many seasons-passed once again reared its ugly head and instead of a standings surge, the Cannons regressed a step and now enter August on a three-game skid, the longest of 2009. “It’s been awhile since we’ve played this poorly,” a melancholy Manager Matt Celio mentioned as he mulled over the momentum-halting mess. “Long day and a couple of the toughest losses we’ve suffered since joining the upper division. We came out flat and I’ve got to take full responsibility for that lack of fire. We struggled at times in all facets of the game—offense, defense, pitching—and we let an inferior opponent dictate the day. The Cubs ran roughshod all over us, our first truly terrible weekend since playing the [Windsor] Mets back in early June, and this is not the time of year one wants to have red flags raised. We’re as talent-laden as any team in the league: we simply need to put all the pieces together and quickly recapture that swagger that makes us such a tough out each and every August. Sunday wasn’t everything we expected it to be but we get another whack at things next week when I count on us playing classic Cannons Baseball.”
Game One saw surprise starter Drew McDowell take the mound for the Cannons against Clement Dobrinski of the Cubs (after single relief appearances in both the ’07 and ’08 seasons, this marked McDowell’s first start in fourteen years, causing “Gentleman” Jim Yanosy to comment, “Well, at least we know he’s well-rested.”). Rest manifested itself as rust expectedly as McDowell surrendered a lead-off single to Rouge Moulin but after a pair of ground ball outs to the left side it appeared as if the righty might escape the inning unscathed. However, an error at short and a single by Augustus Busch scored two, forcing the “Ragin’ Cajun” to throw an additional twelve pitches—a continued troubling trend for a staff short on strike out pitchers—before retiring Leo Durocher on a fielder’s choice. In the home half of the first, Connecticut was able to knot the score at two as Jason Maule singled to once again set the table (this was the ninth time in fourteen games the reigning Co-Cannons Offensive Player of the Year has led off with a hit; Maule has also walked and reached on an error in this spot for an astronomical .786 OBP to start games). McDowell worked a walk and Bill “Hairway to Heaven” Balcerzak belted a double to deep centerfield, plating the pair. McDowell (1+ IP, 5 R, 4 ER, 2 H, 3 BB, 1 HBP) tired noticeably in the second frame, hitting a batter and walking two, before Celio came to get him (“I sucked plus I’m sore, so it’s not a winning combination,” “Drew Diesel” told reporters in his postgame presser). Tom Luby (1 IP, 0 R, 1 H, 1 K) bridged the gap admirably between McDowell and Tom Clark though another infield error was followed by a base hit, this time allowing three runs to cross, for a 5-2 Eastern edge. The Cubs padded their lead in the middle innings, scoring five runs, three of them earned, against Clark pushing the lead to eight but the Cannons refused to go quietly and mounted a merry-go-round of a threat in the bottom of the fifth frame. Rob DePalma entered as a pinch hitter and, with a positive plate approach, earned a lead-off base on balls. Mike “PETA” McGann and Maule followed suit with free passes to load the bases and McDowell was beaned squarely on the left elbow to bring home a run. A Luby single scored two, cutting further into the Cubs advantage and Dionicio hit a ball the opposite way for a single while Clark’s knock scored McDowell as the Cannons clawed back to a four-run deficit. However, hard-throwing right-handed relief pitcher Brian “Vision Quest” Shutt was able to slam the door, retiring Mike Weber and Steve Markie to maintain a comfortable bulge. Clark (5 IP, 6 R, 3 ER, 5 H, 1 K, 2 BB, 1 HBP) kept the Cubs in check in the sixth but was touched for an unearned run in the seventh as an overthrow allowed Busch to scamper home with Eastern’s eleventh run. Balcerzak beat out a close throw for an infield base hit in the last inning, but Jim Cook’s stellar diving stop of a Luby grounder all but destined to reach the outfield resulted in a double play and the Cubbies would quietly record the final out on a pop to second for their sixth win of the season. Assistant Manager Weber was impressed by the effort of the pitching staff but knew this was not a game to write home about: “Our pitchers were all put in tough spots, gave us everything they had, and kept us close, but those freebies from walks, errors, stolen bases, passed balls, and wild pitches will definitely come back to haunt a team. We all understand that we need to play better ball if we want to make a deep run in the postseason. We’ve got the guys to do it but everybody has to provide maximum effort at all times if a championship is in our immediate future, as I fully expect it is.”
Game Two matched Connecticut’s Yanosy against Eastern Connecticut’s Gorman “Illegal Alien” Apone in his first pitching performance in the A Division. The Cubs offense got to work early against Yanosy, making the sixth start and seventh pitching appearance of his rookie campaign, by scoring three runs on a seeing-eye single by Ford “Teeter” Harris, a base on balls by Cook, and a three-run blast to left by Jacob Dunnack to bolster an already boisterous Baby Bear bench. Left fielder McGann had a bead on the ball but told reporters, “I just ran out of real estate,” and Connecticut trailed yet again. The Cannons, playing with confidence at home even when behind, looked to come back immediately as Maule singled and McDowell hit a soft roller to the right that the speedy centerfielder clearly beat out in a bang-bang fielder’s choice at second. But field umpire Steve “Sir D**k” Wonder, apparently caught up in the moment of each and every close play favoring the Cubbies, called Maule out and a possible rally was ruined. Balcerzak followed with an infield base hit as middle infielders Cook and Harris collided violently, but “Louisiana Deceptively Fast” was gunned at third as “Teet” somehow gathered the ball from the wreckage and threw a perfect strike to Busch who applied the tag. Luby reached on an error and Dionicio singled but Connecticut was unable to break through as Weber took a cut at a high 2-1 fastball and fouled out to first on a slider away ending the inning (“My green and gold kryptonites,” said Web as he ducked back into the dugout). Eastern tacked on runs in each of the next three frames against Yanosy (4 IP, 7 R, 5 ER, 7 H, 2 K, 2 BB), and though Connecticut threatened, leaving the bases loaded again in the second and two runners on in the fourth, the team was unable to find an answer for Apone. “Adam Bomb” Pallone (1 IP, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 H, 4 BB) entered in relief with his team down a crooked number but, after getting the first two outs on fly balls to left and right, lost some of his control, walking the bases loaded and issuing a run-scoring free pass to Mathias Noheimer, pushing the score to 8-0 before inducing an unassisted ground out to Luby at third. “El Dominican Dreamboat” made the first mound appearance of his eventful Cannons career (2 IP, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 H, 1 K, 3 BB, 1 HBP), pitching the final two frames and allowing a lone run as Cook’s Cubs executed a seventh inning suicide squeeze with an eight-run advantage (Dionicio then plunked Shutt in the back in retaliation). Though the Cannons were again able to put themselves in scoring situations in the fifth, sixth, and seventh, the team was unable to plate a run and was shutout for just the second time this season (a 2-0 loss to the Suffield Irish on the last day of May). “A major missed opportunity,” said Celio as he discussed the losses. “Now it’s very likely we’ll see the Cubs again come early August. Clearly not our best performance of the season but I expect our guys to remember these games: people talking trash and whooping it up at our expense, opposing players taking pictures during the contest, and an exclamation mark squeeze play that did nothing but add insult to injury. I never want us in a war of words and I’m not going to use umpires as an excuse; that’s just not Connecticut Cannons Baseball in my opinion. I like our play to speak for itself, and speak volumes at that, and we’d all love to add a championship chapter to our storied history. The Cubs played about as well as they could and, when combined with the fact that the Cannons played about as poorly as we could, it’s unsurprising they came in and kicked our butts today. We’re a better ballclub than we showed out there so hopefully we can take some positives, like getting certain pieces of our playoff roster in order and having guys give everything they’ve got for the good of the team, away from this. We truly have talent, all that we need to win the A Division title in 2009 in fact, but we have to play a better brand of baseball, minimize mistakes and maximize opportunities, before our potential can play itself out. If we do this, the Cannons will without question be a tough out to wrap up the regular season and, even more importantly, come tournament time in a couple of weekends.”
By simple definition, trap games are those where a team looks past a mediocre-to-poor opponent with sights set on future successes, in this instance perhaps a pair against the cross-town rival Capitals and a possible bye week come playoff time. In these cases, the team in question may not be as focused or prepared as it should be and that certainly seems to have been the case at New Cannon Yards on Sunday. All involved with the Cannons hope this was a mirage, a minor misstep before the second season starts. August is all but upon us and the eighth month brings optimism and often incredible results for the Connecticut Cannons and the frenzied fan base known as Cannon Nation is counting on that being case again this year. What is the caliber of this team? Does it have the necessary firepower to compete for and ultimately capture the CNMSBL’s Clarke-Clinton Trophy in 2009? Sunday marks the final step in the twenty-game regular season journey but is hopefully just the beginning of an amazing August for the Boys in Blue. It has to start somewhere. It has to start sometime. What better place than here? What better time than now? Is everything plays out according to plan, all hell won’t be able to stop the Cannons now. Championship or bust!
Cannons News and Notes: The Cannons take on the Capitals (1-15, tenth place), in the regular season finale and annual “Battle of Newington” at New Cannon Yards on Sunday, August 2…the final games on this season-ending ten-game homestand are sold out; Connecticut stayed stuck tied for its all-time A Division best seven–win total from last season and looks to master that mark on the season’s final Sunday; the Cannons dropped their third season series (Eastern Connecticut, Hartford, Windsor); the Cannons’ batting averaged rose slightly to .285 through nine Sundays, a sign the team might be getting hot at the right time yet again (the overall opponents’ average dipped from .278 to .276)…Connecticut has 142 total hits while the opposition has 137…the next at-bat will be the team’s 500th of the season…the Cannons have been outscored 107 to 93; Balcerzak, Chris Barsa, Clark, DePalma, Dionicio, Luby, Maule, McDowell, McGann, Patenaude, Kevin Quinn, Josh Svoboda, Weber, and Yanosy have all played in eight or more games for the Cannons this season, achieving postseason eligibility (Celio [2], Markie [1], and Pallone [2] can join their teammates by competing in the games against the Caps…Juan Checo, though eligible for the CNMSBL postseason, has joined a softball league in the Springfield, MA area…’09 roster invitees Andy Borst and Drew Clarke failed to play in a single game and, therefore, are ineligible); McGann and Quinn (9 hits apiece) and Barsa and Clark (8) look to join Balcerzak (25), Maule (23…14 doubles), Dionicio (18), Luby (14), and McDowell (11) as Cannons to reach the ’09 double-digit hit plateau; Maule (.511), Balcerzak (.439), Dionicio (.367), McDowell (.314), and Barsa (.308) are the five Cannon hitters currently with batting averages above .300 on the season (seven Cannons are presently under the Mendoza Line…P Patenaude has not had a plate appearance); McDowell mistakenly stepped to the plate with a weighted bat and a game ball tucked under his chin…“It’s not the first time he’s had balls on his chin,” joked Dionicio (“Señor Cinco” also told any and all interested parties—meaning nobody—repeatedly, “I’m Rick James!”); after “El Heartthrob de Hispaniola” committed his fourth error on the day (a dropped pop fly that Dionicio claims no white player would have even gotten a glove on), son Brian said shame-faced, “My Dad sucks.” (Weber said the team went to the “Mouth From the South” in relief for one reason only: “He’s likely to make fewer errors on the mound.”)…Dionicio’s eldest offspring also added during Celio’s Game Two at-bat: “Is that the coach? He actually gets to play?”; DePalma once again hosted teammates after the games…Celio, Dionicio, Luby, and Weber joined “Hairy” at his New Britain home; Dionicio delighted teammates after the games by telling them, “This is all an act, I Dominican down for the weekends. I am the boss of twenty-plus Blanquitos from Monday through Friday, hardly have an accent, and have often served as a keynote speaker at Travelers training seminars.”…somebody please post video of this on YouTube!; Beantown Bombshell: McGann discovered on a road trip to Boston with teammate Barsa that on at least one occasion “T-Rex” has passed his phone number to his waitress on the bill in numbers big enough for his date to see…also, it was learned that “The Terrorist” is a “drink counter” (i.e., he keeps track of the number of cocktails consumed by his companions for financial and sexual purposes); The Continental: like Christopher Walken’s ever-so-suave ladies man from the popular Saturday Night Live skit, DePalma confided in Celio that he has consummated relationships in the Biblical sense with women linked by blood to five of the Earth’s seven continents (he has not yet nailed an Australian and Antarctica has no permanent population, though he does find penguins fascinating and sexy); Umpire Jason Rentas accounted for an unlikely daily double, working both ends of the double dip behind the dish (Dionicio joked with the all-Latino crew and non-Caucasian Cubs battery, “There are four illegal immigrants here. Billy [Balcerzak is an INS agent], I’ll give these guys up immediately if I can get my green card.”)…Rentas must have believed Quest Tec was in place, as his tiny strike zone consistently confounded Cannons pitchers…as a result, McDowell’s ERA ballooned from 28.00 to 31.50; C & C Movie Factory: Celio and Clark are collaborating on a screenplay loosely based on Clark’s experiences growing up as a ballplayer in the 70’s: “It’s our Good Will Hunting,” promised the pitcher…“As long as I’m Matt Damon,” said Celio; Clark told teammates that there are many known opium dens out in Eastern’s neck of the woods: “I’m not surprised these guys play the games like an AA support group.”; McGann takes the Praxis I exam today at 2:00 p.m. in Glastonbury: “Fifth times a charm,” lamented the “Mayor of Manville”…Celio once again tried to make a love connection for his Cannon compadre McGann but instead was forced to witness the carnage firsthand as the “Smooth Operator’s” shortcomings were on full display: 1) told blonde beauty, the lovely Liz, she has man hands and clown feet; 2) constantly and annoyingly pawed the hair and neck of his blind date on a sultry summer afternoon and evening, telling her in coy double entendre, “You’re so wet.”; 3) spoke of other ladies he’s loved, including a Bollywood dancer named Seema…“Not an American Indian, but no dot either.”; 4) answered “Green” when asked his lucky number; and 5) promised to cook the young lady the dinner of her choice, promising “Anything you want.” When a high protein meat-lovers meal was requested, McGann replied, “Oh, I’m not making that. I’m famous for my meatloaf turkey—not the other way around—and seafood medley.” (Celio and McGann closed out the evening watching Die Hard and “John McLame” went home alone and used his Hans on his Gruber); it’s August this weekend: a reminder The Elbow Room, Plan B, and The Spigot, are now joined by Cocoa Kitchen and Bar as official sponsors of the 2009 Connecticut Cannons playoffs; the team has twenty-four tickets for a luxury box at Dodd Stadium in Norwich for a contest between the Akron Aeros and Connecticut Defenders on Thursday, August 13; Celio will put on a post-game party following the games against the cross-town rival Newington Capitals on Sunday…the Manager is also exploring possible August dates for Italian-Fest ’09; in less than one week (Monday, August 3) players will be in possession of their ballots for the 2009 Cannons Awards (polls will remain open until 11:59 p.m. on Friday, August 7)…Choose or Lose!
7/26 Studs: Balcerzak (4 for 8, 2B, 2 RBI); Clark (2 for 6, RBI; 5 IP, 1 K giving the Cannons a fighting chance in the opener); DePalma (1 for 1, BB, R); Luby (2 H, BB, 2 RBI; 1 IP, 0 R, 1 K); Maule (3 for 5, 2B, 3 BB, 2 R, SB, outfield assist to cut a runner down at the dish); McDowell (2 BB, HBP in Game One)
7/26 Duds: an inconsistent Cannons offense (20 runners left on base, leaving the bases loaded three times in fourteen frames; shout out in Game Two) and defense (9 errors leading to six unearned runs)
Monday, July 20, 2009
THE DARK “HALF”
Yanosy Grinds Out Game One Victory, Scrappers Scrape Way To Split In Nightcap
Newington, CT (AP)—Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, the film version of the sixth installment in J.K. Rowling’s best-selling seminal series about the boy wizard and his battles with the evil dark warlock Voldemort, cast a spell on movie-going Muggles (non-magical people) this weekend, conjuring up an impressive $79.5 million from Friday through Sunday and a five-day total approaching $160 million in box office revenue following its release on July 15. One of the plot lines finds Harry, now in his sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, unexpectedly enrolled in Potions now that his least favorite professor, Severus Snape, has been appointed to the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Harry borrows a book belonging formerly to the cryptically named and as yet unknown “Half-Blood Prince,” one that is filled with corrections and crib notes which yield better potions results than those actually prescribed. However, certain spells or curses cast contain decidedly dark magic and Harry is forced to hide the book so that its use is not discovered. On Sunday, the sixth-seeded Bristol Scrappers arrived in Newington to play the eighth-seeded Connecticut Cannons as the postseason stretch run plays out and a day that was unquestionably bright, maybe even magical, in the collective eyes of Cannon Nation to start grew increasingly gloomy as it reached its conclusion: a light half and a dark half and yet another split decision at Cannon Yards, the third time in as many weekends that the Boys in Blue took the opener, held a lead in the later innings of the nightcap, and came away empty handed. Absolutely “vile,” potion masters and more squandered sorcery at a time when “Ws” are the only letter truly needed to “spell.”
Game One saw the Cannons turn to Jim “JY Jelly” Yanosy for his fifth start of the season and second against the Metallurgists while Bristol countered with left-handed buggy-whipper Giglielmo “Radio” Arconti. After sweeping an aging Bristol ball club back on May 3, Connecticut hoped to repeat the feat and when star centerfielder Jason Maule arrived at the field he told reporters, “These guys look really old now.” However, pesky lead-off pest Dave “Baloney” Raponey worked a walk against Yanosy, stole second (advancing to third on an Adam Pallone overthrow), and scored small ball style on a ground out to short to give Metallica an early advantage. The Cannons responded in kind in the home half of the first as Maule ripped an opposite field double, his thirteenth of the season, swiped third, and scampered home as the throw from Jules Roberts skipped away at third. The middle of Connecticut’s line-up set the table for more Maule heroics in the second when Leo Dionicio and Chris Barsa belted base hits and Pallone walked. Mike McGann followed with a run-scoring single and the Cannons’ lead-off batter torched a two-run single to put Connecticut on top 4-1. Yanosy allowed walks in the second and third but avoided any additional damage until the fourth when errors were his undoing (the rookie pitcher has been a victim of bad breaks all season long). A lead off walk following a dropped foul pop-up was erased as Tom Luby started a 5-4-3 double play and it looked as if a possible rally had been averted. But Barsa’s blunder on a tailing line drive kept the inning alive and three straight hits from Carmine Giovinazzo, Lord Farquarson, and Glenn “E” Klare knotted the score at four. The Cannons came back in the fifth as Mike Weber, who hit the ball hard in his first at-bat, beat out an infield single and scored on Bill Balcerzak’s two out base hit (Mike “PETA” McGann, who had reached on an error, was thrown out on a play at the plate, claiming he was “deeked” by a straight standing Roberts at home, ending the inning with Connecticut on top 5-4). In this back and forth ball game, Bristol battled to tie the score in the top of the fifth as Charlie Browning doubled and scored on a Vladimir “Death From Above” Bratina two-out single, yet once again the Cannons responded as Luby reached on an error—hustling and hobbling all the way to third on the overthrow—and courtesy runner Drew McDowell scored on Dionicio’s frozen rope over a drawn-in infield. McGann cut down lead-off batter Carrington Blake in the top of the sixth when he foolishly tried to stretch a single into a double and Connecticut added a much-needed insurance run in the bottom of the frame as the right fielder reached on a Klare error, stole second, and scored on Maule’s third hit of the contest. Yanosy (7 IP, 5 R, 3 ER, 6 H, 5 BB), battling a balky arm all day, begged for the ball in the final frame and didn’t disappoint, allowing only a two-out base on balls before getting Jim “Fuel” Ziogas on a fielder’s choice flip from Balcerzak to Dionicio to end the game. “Jimmy’s battled all season long so we’re very excited to see him get a win, both from a personal and team standpoint” said Manager Matt Celio in his post-game press conference. “He gave us everything he had in the tank, kept us in the game, and simply refused to lose. He has really provided a boost on a weekly basis, both as a pitcher and a top-flight outfielder, and is a key component in our season’s success to this point.” The ever-humble Yanosy joked with members of the media, “If it wasn’t for [Rob] DePalma’s Aleve, I never would have made it past the third inning.”
Game Two found Connecticut in the extremely enviable position of having staff ace Mike Patenaude on the hill following a first game win with the Cannons (7-8 entering the contest) looking to once again reach the elusive .500 mark for the first time since early June, something the team has failed to do since returning to action at home after Independence Day. It was déjà vu all over again as Raponey battled for a base on balls and scored the go-ahead run on a Bratina sacrifice fly to center for the early 1-0 edge (McGann, this time from left, threw out Ziogas as he went for two for his second outfield assist of the day, putting out a potential first frame fire). For the ninth time this season and the sixth straight time on the homestand, Maule reached base, this on a skied pop to short that Klare misplayed into a single, and scored on a passed ball uncorked by Game Two starter Browning. The Cannons, taking advantage of Metallurgist miscues, grabbed a two-run lead in the second when “Señor Cinco” singled, Barsa and Tom Clark reached on errors (the second plating Dionicio), and a double steal allowed the speedy Barsa to swipe home easily for a 3-1 Cannons advantage. Patenaude, lacking a little of his usual pop and working for the first time with Pallone as his battery-mate, was tagged for a trio of unearned runs in the third as a Dionicio drop of a low throw led to three runs when Klare, Tico Torres, and Bratina eventually came around to score, putting Bristol on top 4-3. Connecticut, not pressing in any way and playing with confidence, immediately tied things in the home half of the third when Balcerzak singled and Luby hit a deep double off the left field fence—“The classic Luby stroke and a beautiful sight to behold,” said Celio as a guest on Weber’s weekly call-in radio program Worldwide Web—before “Louisiana Deceptively Fast,” once again inserted as a courtesy runner, was caught leaning toward third (a Dionicio ground out to second, that would have easily scored base stealer extraordinaire McDowell, instead harmlessly ended the inning; Celio ragged the “Ragin’ Cajun” who had struck out to start the frame after a facetious foul call robber the redneck of extra bases, “Drew, I was hoping you could somehow make all three outs.”). Bristol, all but willing to throw in the towel early on, sensed an opportunity in the making as Giovinazzo walked to start the fourth and Farquarson followed with a single but a brilliant tag and throw by McDowell to turn two on a Klare grounder allowed the Cannons’ fifty-three year old lefty to leave the “Big Ragu” at third when he struck out an overmatched Torres, leaving the go-ahead run stranded ninety feet from the plate (Clark commented on Klare, “The guy swings like he has bone cancer” though he somehow managed three hits against Cannons’ pitchers on Sunday). Connecticut jumped back out in front in the fourth as Barsa singled, Clark walked, Maule was intentionally issued a free pass, and McDowell made Browning and Bristol pay with a single up the middle that scored two. However, the Scrappers responded in their next at-bat as Ziogas and Bratina singled, both advancing on a passed ball, Browning grounded a run-scoring ball to short, and Roberts stroked a two-out single to knot the score at six. The Cannons put lead-off runners on the base paths as Luby doubled for the second straight at-bat and Weber, pinch hitting for Yanosy, walked in the fifth and sixth respectively but both failed to score. Patenaude (7 IP, 9 R, 6 ER, 15 H, 2 K, 2 BB) blew two fastballs by Raponey to start the seventh but tried to sneak an off-speed pitch by and was burned for a base hit up the middle. Ziogas singled and Bratina hit the eventual game-winning double before Browning (RBI single) and Blake (sacrifice fly to center) gave Bristol a three-run bulge. Connecticut refused to go quietly as McDowell singled and Balcerzak reached on an error, but a double play and a pop to short sealed the deal as the Cannons once again dropped two games under .500 with four to play. “Disappointing and frustrating,” stated Celio in response to the loss. “We’re playing a much better brand of baseball, and winning the first game while setting ourselves up for the sweep is something we’ve failed to do in the past, but we just can’t seem to close the door. Our pitchers aren’t Rambo; these guys have a limited number of bullets and we have to make big plays when given the opportunity. Extra outs have extended innings and allowed other teams to hang around and that is something we can’t afford when August rolls around. We’re in a good position to make a postseason push but we need to take advantage and put winnable ball games in the book. That being said, the line between disappointing and frustrating and dangerous and feared is razor thin. We’re averaging nearly five runs a game, more than that at home, but it’s time to put all of the pieces together and hit that playoff peak. We’ll be as loaded as any team when we do so and any three-game series is winnable with the guys we’ve got here.”
With rave reviews written and big bucks brought in, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince has lived up to the enormous hype that comes with being the penultimate episode in this classic confrontation of good versus evil. Unfortunately to this point in 2009, the Connecticut Cannons haven’t lived up to the preseason hyperbole and with the postseason quickly approaching the Cannons vehemently venture for the mystical powers that made them the favorites to win the CNMSBL A Division Championship, hoping to hoist the Clarke-Clinton Trophy like a Triwizard Cup of Goblet of Fire fame to any and all Potterphiles. August is all but upon us and with it the postseason. The magic potion for success—equal parts offense, defense, and pitching—are ingredients in available abundance in the Cannons clubhouse. Mix all three liberally and you have created the potent potion for Saturday and Sunday series success. Cannon Nation and the rest of the wizarding world wonders: Are Connecticut’s players mere Muggles or will they discover the magic that allows them to take the 2009 CNMSBL A Division crown? Accio Championship!
Cannons News and Notes: The Cannons take on the Eastern Connecticut Cubs (5-13, ninth place), in Newington on Sunday, July 26…all remaining dates at New Cannon Yards on this season-ending homestand are sold out…the Baby Bears surrender nearly seven runs per contest and Celio called these games “must win”; Connecticut tied its all-time A Division best seven–win total from last season and looks to shatter that mark with four games to play…with three home wins, the Cannons matched their best mark since joining the upper level in 2006; prior to the Game Two loss, the Big Guns had won four in a row against the Metallurgists after dropping seven straight decisions to start the series…this was Connecticut’s first series win of the season (3-1); the Cannons’ batting averaged rose to .281 through eight Sundays, a sign the team might be getting hot at the right time yet again (the overall opponents’ average inched ever-closer reaching .278, the highest plateau at any point this season)…Connecticut has 124 total hits while the opposition has 121; another Sunday, another pair of brittle broken bats—two Rally Bats—as the team dangerously approached the single bat bag barrier (a post-season re-stock is imminent); Balcerzak, Barsa, Clark, Dionicio, Luby, Maule, McDowell, McGann, Patenaude Quinn, Svoboda, and Yanosy have all played in eight or more games for the Cannons this season, achieving postseason eligibility (DePalma and Weber can join their teammates in the games against the Cubbies…Celio, Steve Markie, and Pallone all still several games away though all can earn eligibility within the four remaining games); McDowell joined Balcerzak (21), Maule (20…13 doubles), Dionicio (16), and Luby (12) as Cannons to reach the ’09 double-digit hit mark (Celio’s team-leading single season total of twenty-eight hits set in the inaugural 2001 campaign is within striking distance); Maule (.500), Balcerzak (.429), Dionicio (.390), McDowell (.333) and Barsa (.308) are the five Cannon hitters with batting averages above .300 on the season (six Cannons are currently under the Mendoza Line…P Patenaude has not had a plate appearance); Barsa v. Bristol: the first baseman enjoyed facing the Bristol pitching staff, going 5 for 14 (.357, 2B, 3B, 4 R, 3 RBI) in games against the Scrappers…he is 3 for 12 (.250, 2 R, 2 RBI) against all other opponents; “T-Rex”—first in line as the food came off the grill at Weber’s last weekend—proudly consumed three cheeseburgers and two hot dogs at DePalma’s after the contests…yet still audaciously expressed disbelief that “Mouth From the South” Dionicio was not in attendance for the free feast (DePalma graciously grubbed with Balcerzak, Barsa, Celio, and Clark at his New Britain abode…Dionicio did take the one Stella Artois from the Cannons cooler saying simply, “I don’t drink Bud.”)…Barsa regaled teammates with talk of a four-way skinny dip—“The Terrorist,” a forty year old non-virgin, and two twenty somethings—during which, “two hands were on my c**k and my two hands were on t**s at all times”; the Return of Hairway to Heaven: most in the Cannons conglomerate expressed an affinity for fully shaved females while “Billy Bush” was the lone dissenting voice saying the harrier the merrier; Clark admitted to kicking out all of the windows on an ex-girlfriend’s car when he found out she was cheating on him (he replaced them when the ex and her gang-affiliated new beau threatened to involve local law enforcement…or the Lords and Dukes, New Britain-area gang members; DePalma, After Dark: the catcher confided in Barsa and Celio after several brews that: 1) he is a wine connoisseur (“$28 a bottle or better”); 2) he has banged a black chick; and 2) over the last two and half years of what, in hindsight, was a doomed marriage he was referred to on-line and in text messages as F***WAD (always capitalized) by his wife, as in, “I have to go, F***WAD just got home.”; with the eighth month just a few days away, World Headquarters was contacted from California by Tom “Mr. August” Bogiatzis who has enjoyed the articles and wishes the Cannons all the success in the world for the upcoming playoffs; The Elbow Room, Plan B, The Spigot, are now joined by Cocoa Kitchen and Bar as official sponsors of the 2009 Connecticut Cannons playoffs; the team has twenty-four tickets for a luxury box at Dodd Stadium in Norwich for a contest between the Akron Aeros and Connecticut Defenders on Thursday, August 13; Celio will put on a post-game party following the games against the cross-town rival Newington Capitals on August 2…the Manager is also exploring possible August dates for Italian-Fest ’09; two weeks from today (Monday, August 3) players will be in possession of their ballots for the 2009 Cannons Awards (polls will remain open until 11:59 p.m. on Friday, August 7).
7/19 Studs: Maule (4 for 7, 2B, INT BB, 2 R, 3 RBI, SB); Barsa (3 for 6, 2B, 3 R, RBI, SB of home on a double steal, 3 CB, 2 HD); Dionicio (3 for 7, 2 R, RBI, 4 SB); Yanosy (CG, W, the first victory of his Cannons career); McGann (two outfield assists: Weber comically criticized the outfielder on Sunday for at times playing too deep, calling him out for “Pulling a Mancer,” so-called for the original Cannons’ proclivity to let balls drop harmlessly in for hits rather than making a play); Calusine for not getting ejected (Bristol’s curmudgeonly manager was tossed from the May 3 match-up for arguing with umpires)
CB = cheeseburgers HD = Hot Dogs
7/19 Duds: Patenaude (7 IP, 9 R, 15 H, 2 BB); Celio for failing to insert a fresh-armed Clark when Patenaude showed signs of fatigue as his pitch count entered the eighties
Yanosy Grinds Out Game One Victory, Scrappers Scrape Way To Split In Nightcap
Newington, CT (AP)—Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, the film version of the sixth installment in J.K. Rowling’s best-selling seminal series about the boy wizard and his battles with the evil dark warlock Voldemort, cast a spell on movie-going Muggles (non-magical people) this weekend, conjuring up an impressive $79.5 million from Friday through Sunday and a five-day total approaching $160 million in box office revenue following its release on July 15. One of the plot lines finds Harry, now in his sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, unexpectedly enrolled in Potions now that his least favorite professor, Severus Snape, has been appointed to the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Harry borrows a book belonging formerly to the cryptically named and as yet unknown “Half-Blood Prince,” one that is filled with corrections and crib notes which yield better potions results than those actually prescribed. However, certain spells or curses cast contain decidedly dark magic and Harry is forced to hide the book so that its use is not discovered. On Sunday, the sixth-seeded Bristol Scrappers arrived in Newington to play the eighth-seeded Connecticut Cannons as the postseason stretch run plays out and a day that was unquestionably bright, maybe even magical, in the collective eyes of Cannon Nation to start grew increasingly gloomy as it reached its conclusion: a light half and a dark half and yet another split decision at Cannon Yards, the third time in as many weekends that the Boys in Blue took the opener, held a lead in the later innings of the nightcap, and came away empty handed. Absolutely “vile,” potion masters and more squandered sorcery at a time when “Ws” are the only letter truly needed to “spell.”
Game One saw the Cannons turn to Jim “JY Jelly” Yanosy for his fifth start of the season and second against the Metallurgists while Bristol countered with left-handed buggy-whipper Giglielmo “Radio” Arconti. After sweeping an aging Bristol ball club back on May 3, Connecticut hoped to repeat the feat and when star centerfielder Jason Maule arrived at the field he told reporters, “These guys look really old now.” However, pesky lead-off pest Dave “Baloney” Raponey worked a walk against Yanosy, stole second (advancing to third on an Adam Pallone overthrow), and scored small ball style on a ground out to short to give Metallica an early advantage. The Cannons responded in kind in the home half of the first as Maule ripped an opposite field double, his thirteenth of the season, swiped third, and scampered home as the throw from Jules Roberts skipped away at third. The middle of Connecticut’s line-up set the table for more Maule heroics in the second when Leo Dionicio and Chris Barsa belted base hits and Pallone walked. Mike McGann followed with a run-scoring single and the Cannons’ lead-off batter torched a two-run single to put Connecticut on top 4-1. Yanosy allowed walks in the second and third but avoided any additional damage until the fourth when errors were his undoing (the rookie pitcher has been a victim of bad breaks all season long). A lead off walk following a dropped foul pop-up was erased as Tom Luby started a 5-4-3 double play and it looked as if a possible rally had been averted. But Barsa’s blunder on a tailing line drive kept the inning alive and three straight hits from Carmine Giovinazzo, Lord Farquarson, and Glenn “E” Klare knotted the score at four. The Cannons came back in the fifth as Mike Weber, who hit the ball hard in his first at-bat, beat out an infield single and scored on Bill Balcerzak’s two out base hit (Mike “PETA” McGann, who had reached on an error, was thrown out on a play at the plate, claiming he was “deeked” by a straight standing Roberts at home, ending the inning with Connecticut on top 5-4). In this back and forth ball game, Bristol battled to tie the score in the top of the fifth as Charlie Browning doubled and scored on a Vladimir “Death From Above” Bratina two-out single, yet once again the Cannons responded as Luby reached on an error—hustling and hobbling all the way to third on the overthrow—and courtesy runner Drew McDowell scored on Dionicio’s frozen rope over a drawn-in infield. McGann cut down lead-off batter Carrington Blake in the top of the sixth when he foolishly tried to stretch a single into a double and Connecticut added a much-needed insurance run in the bottom of the frame as the right fielder reached on a Klare error, stole second, and scored on Maule’s third hit of the contest. Yanosy (7 IP, 5 R, 3 ER, 6 H, 5 BB), battling a balky arm all day, begged for the ball in the final frame and didn’t disappoint, allowing only a two-out base on balls before getting Jim “Fuel” Ziogas on a fielder’s choice flip from Balcerzak to Dionicio to end the game. “Jimmy’s battled all season long so we’re very excited to see him get a win, both from a personal and team standpoint” said Manager Matt Celio in his post-game press conference. “He gave us everything he had in the tank, kept us in the game, and simply refused to lose. He has really provided a boost on a weekly basis, both as a pitcher and a top-flight outfielder, and is a key component in our season’s success to this point.” The ever-humble Yanosy joked with members of the media, “If it wasn’t for [Rob] DePalma’s Aleve, I never would have made it past the third inning.”
Game Two found Connecticut in the extremely enviable position of having staff ace Mike Patenaude on the hill following a first game win with the Cannons (7-8 entering the contest) looking to once again reach the elusive .500 mark for the first time since early June, something the team has failed to do since returning to action at home after Independence Day. It was déjà vu all over again as Raponey battled for a base on balls and scored the go-ahead run on a Bratina sacrifice fly to center for the early 1-0 edge (McGann, this time from left, threw out Ziogas as he went for two for his second outfield assist of the day, putting out a potential first frame fire). For the ninth time this season and the sixth straight time on the homestand, Maule reached base, this on a skied pop to short that Klare misplayed into a single, and scored on a passed ball uncorked by Game Two starter Browning. The Cannons, taking advantage of Metallurgist miscues, grabbed a two-run lead in the second when “Señor Cinco” singled, Barsa and Tom Clark reached on errors (the second plating Dionicio), and a double steal allowed the speedy Barsa to swipe home easily for a 3-1 Cannons advantage. Patenaude, lacking a little of his usual pop and working for the first time with Pallone as his battery-mate, was tagged for a trio of unearned runs in the third as a Dionicio drop of a low throw led to three runs when Klare, Tico Torres, and Bratina eventually came around to score, putting Bristol on top 4-3. Connecticut, not pressing in any way and playing with confidence, immediately tied things in the home half of the third when Balcerzak singled and Luby hit a deep double off the left field fence—“The classic Luby stroke and a beautiful sight to behold,” said Celio as a guest on Weber’s weekly call-in radio program Worldwide Web—before “Louisiana Deceptively Fast,” once again inserted as a courtesy runner, was caught leaning toward third (a Dionicio ground out to second, that would have easily scored base stealer extraordinaire McDowell, instead harmlessly ended the inning; Celio ragged the “Ragin’ Cajun” who had struck out to start the frame after a facetious foul call robber the redneck of extra bases, “Drew, I was hoping you could somehow make all three outs.”). Bristol, all but willing to throw in the towel early on, sensed an opportunity in the making as Giovinazzo walked to start the fourth and Farquarson followed with a single but a brilliant tag and throw by McDowell to turn two on a Klare grounder allowed the Cannons’ fifty-three year old lefty to leave the “Big Ragu” at third when he struck out an overmatched Torres, leaving the go-ahead run stranded ninety feet from the plate (Clark commented on Klare, “The guy swings like he has bone cancer” though he somehow managed three hits against Cannons’ pitchers on Sunday). Connecticut jumped back out in front in the fourth as Barsa singled, Clark walked, Maule was intentionally issued a free pass, and McDowell made Browning and Bristol pay with a single up the middle that scored two. However, the Scrappers responded in their next at-bat as Ziogas and Bratina singled, both advancing on a passed ball, Browning grounded a run-scoring ball to short, and Roberts stroked a two-out single to knot the score at six. The Cannons put lead-off runners on the base paths as Luby doubled for the second straight at-bat and Weber, pinch hitting for Yanosy, walked in the fifth and sixth respectively but both failed to score. Patenaude (7 IP, 9 R, 6 ER, 15 H, 2 K, 2 BB) blew two fastballs by Raponey to start the seventh but tried to sneak an off-speed pitch by and was burned for a base hit up the middle. Ziogas singled and Bratina hit the eventual game-winning double before Browning (RBI single) and Blake (sacrifice fly to center) gave Bristol a three-run bulge. Connecticut refused to go quietly as McDowell singled and Balcerzak reached on an error, but a double play and a pop to short sealed the deal as the Cannons once again dropped two games under .500 with four to play. “Disappointing and frustrating,” stated Celio in response to the loss. “We’re playing a much better brand of baseball, and winning the first game while setting ourselves up for the sweep is something we’ve failed to do in the past, but we just can’t seem to close the door. Our pitchers aren’t Rambo; these guys have a limited number of bullets and we have to make big plays when given the opportunity. Extra outs have extended innings and allowed other teams to hang around and that is something we can’t afford when August rolls around. We’re in a good position to make a postseason push but we need to take advantage and put winnable ball games in the book. That being said, the line between disappointing and frustrating and dangerous and feared is razor thin. We’re averaging nearly five runs a game, more than that at home, but it’s time to put all of the pieces together and hit that playoff peak. We’ll be as loaded as any team when we do so and any three-game series is winnable with the guys we’ve got here.”
With rave reviews written and big bucks brought in, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince has lived up to the enormous hype that comes with being the penultimate episode in this classic confrontation of good versus evil. Unfortunately to this point in 2009, the Connecticut Cannons haven’t lived up to the preseason hyperbole and with the postseason quickly approaching the Cannons vehemently venture for the mystical powers that made them the favorites to win the CNMSBL A Division Championship, hoping to hoist the Clarke-Clinton Trophy like a Triwizard Cup of Goblet of Fire fame to any and all Potterphiles. August is all but upon us and with it the postseason. The magic potion for success—equal parts offense, defense, and pitching—are ingredients in available abundance in the Cannons clubhouse. Mix all three liberally and you have created the potent potion for Saturday and Sunday series success. Cannon Nation and the rest of the wizarding world wonders: Are Connecticut’s players mere Muggles or will they discover the magic that allows them to take the 2009 CNMSBL A Division crown? Accio Championship!
Cannons News and Notes: The Cannons take on the Eastern Connecticut Cubs (5-13, ninth place), in Newington on Sunday, July 26…all remaining dates at New Cannon Yards on this season-ending homestand are sold out…the Baby Bears surrender nearly seven runs per contest and Celio called these games “must win”; Connecticut tied its all-time A Division best seven–win total from last season and looks to shatter that mark with four games to play…with three home wins, the Cannons matched their best mark since joining the upper level in 2006; prior to the Game Two loss, the Big Guns had won four in a row against the Metallurgists after dropping seven straight decisions to start the series…this was Connecticut’s first series win of the season (3-1); the Cannons’ batting averaged rose to .281 through eight Sundays, a sign the team might be getting hot at the right time yet again (the overall opponents’ average inched ever-closer reaching .278, the highest plateau at any point this season)…Connecticut has 124 total hits while the opposition has 121; another Sunday, another pair of brittle broken bats—two Rally Bats—as the team dangerously approached the single bat bag barrier (a post-season re-stock is imminent); Balcerzak, Barsa, Clark, Dionicio, Luby, Maule, McDowell, McGann, Patenaude Quinn, Svoboda, and Yanosy have all played in eight or more games for the Cannons this season, achieving postseason eligibility (DePalma and Weber can join their teammates in the games against the Cubbies…Celio, Steve Markie, and Pallone all still several games away though all can earn eligibility within the four remaining games); McDowell joined Balcerzak (21), Maule (20…13 doubles), Dionicio (16), and Luby (12) as Cannons to reach the ’09 double-digit hit mark (Celio’s team-leading single season total of twenty-eight hits set in the inaugural 2001 campaign is within striking distance); Maule (.500), Balcerzak (.429), Dionicio (.390), McDowell (.333) and Barsa (.308) are the five Cannon hitters with batting averages above .300 on the season (six Cannons are currently under the Mendoza Line…P Patenaude has not had a plate appearance); Barsa v. Bristol: the first baseman enjoyed facing the Bristol pitching staff, going 5 for 14 (.357, 2B, 3B, 4 R, 3 RBI) in games against the Scrappers…he is 3 for 12 (.250, 2 R, 2 RBI) against all other opponents; “T-Rex”—first in line as the food came off the grill at Weber’s last weekend—proudly consumed three cheeseburgers and two hot dogs at DePalma’s after the contests…yet still audaciously expressed disbelief that “Mouth From the South” Dionicio was not in attendance for the free feast (DePalma graciously grubbed with Balcerzak, Barsa, Celio, and Clark at his New Britain abode…Dionicio did take the one Stella Artois from the Cannons cooler saying simply, “I don’t drink Bud.”)…Barsa regaled teammates with talk of a four-way skinny dip—“The Terrorist,” a forty year old non-virgin, and two twenty somethings—during which, “two hands were on my c**k and my two hands were on t**s at all times”; the Return of Hairway to Heaven: most in the Cannons conglomerate expressed an affinity for fully shaved females while “Billy Bush” was the lone dissenting voice saying the harrier the merrier; Clark admitted to kicking out all of the windows on an ex-girlfriend’s car when he found out she was cheating on him (he replaced them when the ex and her gang-affiliated new beau threatened to involve local law enforcement…or the Lords and Dukes, New Britain-area gang members; DePalma, After Dark: the catcher confided in Barsa and Celio after several brews that: 1) he is a wine connoisseur (“$28 a bottle or better”); 2) he has banged a black chick; and 2) over the last two and half years of what, in hindsight, was a doomed marriage he was referred to on-line and in text messages as F***WAD (always capitalized) by his wife, as in, “I have to go, F***WAD just got home.”; with the eighth month just a few days away, World Headquarters was contacted from California by Tom “Mr. August” Bogiatzis who has enjoyed the articles and wishes the Cannons all the success in the world for the upcoming playoffs; The Elbow Room, Plan B, The Spigot, are now joined by Cocoa Kitchen and Bar as official sponsors of the 2009 Connecticut Cannons playoffs; the team has twenty-four tickets for a luxury box at Dodd Stadium in Norwich for a contest between the Akron Aeros and Connecticut Defenders on Thursday, August 13; Celio will put on a post-game party following the games against the cross-town rival Newington Capitals on August 2…the Manager is also exploring possible August dates for Italian-Fest ’09; two weeks from today (Monday, August 3) players will be in possession of their ballots for the 2009 Cannons Awards (polls will remain open until 11:59 p.m. on Friday, August 7).
7/19 Studs: Maule (4 for 7, 2B, INT BB, 2 R, 3 RBI, SB); Barsa (3 for 6, 2B, 3 R, RBI, SB of home on a double steal, 3 CB, 2 HD); Dionicio (3 for 7, 2 R, RBI, 4 SB); Yanosy (CG, W, the first victory of his Cannons career); McGann (two outfield assists: Weber comically criticized the outfielder on Sunday for at times playing too deep, calling him out for “Pulling a Mancer,” so-called for the original Cannons’ proclivity to let balls drop harmlessly in for hits rather than making a play); Calusine for not getting ejected (Bristol’s curmudgeonly manager was tossed from the May 3 match-up for arguing with umpires)
CB = cheeseburgers HD = Hot Dogs
7/19 Duds: Patenaude (7 IP, 9 R, 15 H, 2 BB); Celio for failing to insert a fresh-armed Clark when Patenaude showed signs of fatigue as his pitch count entered the eighties
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