THE DARK “HALF”
Yanosy Grinds Out Game One Victory, Scrappers Scrape Way To Split In Nightcap

Newington, CT (AP)—Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, the film version of the sixth installment in J.K. Rowling’s best-selling seminal series about the boy wizard and his battles with the evil dark warlock Voldemort, cast a spell on movie-going Muggles (non-magical people) this weekend, conjuring up an impressive $79.5 million from Friday through Sunday and a five-day total approaching $160 million in box office revenue following its release on July 15. One of the plot lines finds Harry, now in his sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, unexpectedly enrolled in Potions now that his least favorite professor, Severus Snape, has been appointed to the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Harry borrows a book belonging formerly to the cryptically named and as yet unknown “Half-Blood Prince,” one that is filled with corrections and crib notes which yield better potions results than those actually prescribed. However, certain spells or curses cast contain decidedly dark magic and Harry is forced to hide the book so that its use is not discovered. On Sunday, the sixth-seeded Bristol Scrappers arrived in Newington to play the eighth-seeded Connecticut Cannons as the postseason stretch run plays out and a day that was unquestionably bright, maybe even magical, in the collective eyes of Cannon Nation to start grew increasingly gloomy as it reached its conclusion: a light half and a dark half and yet another split decision at Cannon Yards, the third time in as many weekends that the Boys in Blue took the opener, held a lead in the later innings of the nightcap, and came away empty handed. Absolutely “vile,” potion masters and more squandered sorcery at a time when “Ws” are the only letter truly needed to “spell.”

Game One saw the Cannons turn to Jim “JY Jelly” Yanosy for his fifth start of the season and second against the Metallurgists while Bristol countered with left-handed buggy-whipper Giglielmo “Radio” Arconti. After sweeping an aging Bristol ball club back on May 3, Connecticut hoped to repeat the feat and when star centerfielder Jason Maule arrived at the field he told reporters, “These guys look really old now.” However, pesky lead-off pest Dave “Baloney” Raponey worked a walk against Yanosy, stole second (advancing to third on an Adam Pallone overthrow), and scored small ball style on a ground out to short to give Metallica an early advantage. The Cannons responded in kind in the home half of the first as Maule ripped an opposite field double, his thirteenth of the season, swiped third, and scampered home as the throw from Jules Roberts skipped away at third. The middle of Connecticut’s line-up set the table for more Maule heroics in the second when Leo Dionicio and Chris Barsa belted base hits and Pallone walked. Mike McGann followed with a run-scoring single and the Cannons’ lead-off batter torched a two-run single to put Connecticut on top 4-1. Yanosy allowed walks in the second and third but avoided any additional damage until the fourth when errors were his undoing (the rookie pitcher has been a victim of bad breaks all season long). A lead off walk following a dropped foul pop-up was erased as Tom Luby started a 5-4-3 double play and it looked as if a possible rally had been averted. But Barsa’s blunder on a tailing line drive kept the inning alive and three straight hits from Carmine Giovinazzo, Lord Farquarson, and Glenn “E” Klare knotted the score at four. The Cannons came back in the fifth as Mike Weber, who hit the ball hard in his first at-bat, beat out an infield single and scored on Bill Balcerzak’s two out base hit (Mike “PETA” McGann, who had reached on an error, was thrown out on a play at the plate, claiming he was “deeked” by a straight standing Roberts at home, ending the inning with Connecticut on top 5-4). In this back and forth ball game, Bristol battled to tie the score in the top of the fifth as Charlie Browning doubled and scored on a Vladimir “Death From Above” Bratina two-out single, yet once again the Cannons responded as Luby reached on an error—hustling and hobbling all the way to third on the overthrow—and courtesy runner Drew McDowell scored on Dionicio’s frozen rope over a drawn-in infield. McGann cut down lead-off batter Carrington Blake in the top of the sixth when he foolishly tried to stretch a single into a double and Connecticut added a much-needed insurance run in the bottom of the frame as the right fielder reached on a Klare error, stole second, and scored on Maule’s third hit of the contest. Yanosy (7 IP, 5 R, 3 ER, 6 H, 5 BB), battling a balky arm all day, begged for the ball in the final frame and didn’t disappoint, allowing only a two-out base on balls before getting Jim “Fuel” Ziogas on a fielder’s choice flip from Balcerzak to Dionicio to end the game. “Jimmy’s battled all season long so we’re very excited to see him get a win, both from a personal and team standpoint” said Manager Matt Celio in his post-game press conference. “He gave us everything he had in the tank, kept us in the game, and simply refused to lose. He has really provided a boost on a weekly basis, both as a pitcher and a top-flight outfielder, and is a key component in our season’s success to this point.” The ever-humble Yanosy joked with members of the media, “If it wasn’t for [Rob] DePalma’s Aleve, I never would have made it past the third inning.”

Game Two found Connecticut in the extremely enviable position of having staff ace Mike Patenaude on the hill following a first game win with the Cannons (7-8 entering the contest) looking to once again reach the elusive .500 mark for the first time since early June, something the team has failed to do since returning to action at home after Independence Day. It was déjà vu all over again as Raponey battled for a base on balls and scored the go-ahead run on a Bratina sacrifice fly to center for the early 1-0 edge (McGann, this time from left, threw out Ziogas as he went for two for his second outfield assist of the day, putting out a potential first frame fire). For the ninth time this season and the sixth straight time on the homestand, Maule reached base, this on a skied pop to short that Klare misplayed into a single, and scored on a passed ball uncorked by Game Two starter Browning. The Cannons, taking advantage of Metallurgist miscues, grabbed a two-run lead in the second when “Señor Cinco” singled, Barsa and Tom Clark reached on errors (the second plating Dionicio), and a double steal allowed the speedy Barsa to swipe home easily for a 3-1 Cannons advantage. Patenaude, lacking a little of his usual pop and working for the first time with Pallone as his battery-mate, was tagged for a trio of unearned runs in the third as a Dionicio drop of a low throw led to three runs when Klare, Tico Torres, and Bratina eventually came around to score, putting Bristol on top 4-3. Connecticut, not pressing in any way and playing with confidence, immediately tied things in the home half of the third when Balcerzak singled and Luby hit a deep double off the left field fence—“The classic Luby stroke and a beautiful sight to behold,” said Celio as a guest on Weber’s weekly call-in radio program Worldwide Web—before “Louisiana Deceptively Fast,” once again inserted as a courtesy runner, was caught leaning toward third (a Dionicio ground out to second, that would have easily scored base stealer extraordinaire McDowell, instead harmlessly ended the inning; Celio ragged the “Ragin’ Cajun” who had struck out to start the frame after a facetious foul call robber the redneck of extra bases, “Drew, I was hoping you could somehow make all three outs.”). Bristol, all but willing to throw in the towel early on, sensed an opportunity in the making as Giovinazzo walked to start the fourth and Farquarson followed with a single but a brilliant tag and throw by McDowell to turn two on a Klare grounder allowed the Cannons’ fifty-three year old lefty to leave the “Big Ragu” at third when he struck out an overmatched Torres, leaving the go-ahead run stranded ninety feet from the plate (Clark commented on Klare, “The guy swings like he has bone cancer” though he somehow managed three hits against Cannons’ pitchers on Sunday). Connecticut jumped back out in front in the fourth as Barsa singled, Clark walked, Maule was intentionally issued a free pass, and McDowell made Browning and Bristol pay with a single up the middle that scored two. However, the Scrappers responded in their next at-bat as Ziogas and Bratina singled, both advancing on a passed ball, Browning grounded a run-scoring ball to short, and Roberts stroked a two-out single to knot the score at six. The Cannons put lead-off runners on the base paths as Luby doubled for the second straight at-bat and Weber, pinch hitting for Yanosy, walked in the fifth and sixth respectively but both failed to score. Patenaude (7 IP, 9 R, 6 ER, 15 H, 2 K, 2 BB) blew two fastballs by Raponey to start the seventh but tried to sneak an off-speed pitch by and was burned for a base hit up the middle. Ziogas singled and Bratina hit the eventual game-winning double before Browning (RBI single) and Blake (sacrifice fly to center) gave Bristol a three-run bulge. Connecticut refused to go quietly as McDowell singled and Balcerzak reached on an error, but a double play and a pop to short sealed the deal as the Cannons once again dropped two games under .500 with four to play. “Disappointing and frustrating,” stated Celio in response to the loss. “We’re playing a much better brand of baseball, and winning the first game while setting ourselves up for the sweep is something we’ve failed to do in the past, but we just can’t seem to close the door. Our pitchers aren’t Rambo; these guys have a limited number of bullets and we have to make big plays when given the opportunity. Extra outs have extended innings and allowed other teams to hang around and that is something we can’t afford when August rolls around. We’re in a good position to make a postseason push but we need to take advantage and put winnable ball games in the book. That being said, the line between disappointing and frustrating and dangerous and feared is razor thin. We’re averaging nearly five runs a game, more than that at home, but it’s time to put all of the pieces together and hit that playoff peak. We’ll be as loaded as any team when we do so and any three-game series is winnable with the guys we’ve got here.”

With rave reviews written and big bucks brought in, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince has lived up to the enormous hype that comes with being the penultimate episode in this classic confrontation of good versus evil. Unfortunately to this point in 2009, the Connecticut Cannons haven’t lived up to the preseason hyperbole and with the postseason quickly approaching the Cannons vehemently venture for the mystical powers that made them the favorites to win the CNMSBL A Division Championship, hoping to hoist the Clarke-Clinton Trophy like a Triwizard Cup of Goblet of Fire fame to any and all Potterphiles. August is all but upon us and with it the postseason. The magic potion for success—equal parts offense, defense, and pitching—are ingredients in available abundance in the Cannons clubhouse. Mix all three liberally and you have created the potent potion for Saturday and Sunday series success. Cannon Nation and the rest of the wizarding world wonders: Are Connecticut’s players mere Muggles or will they discover the magic that allows them to take the 2009 CNMSBL A Division crown? Accio Championship!

Cannons News and Notes: The Cannons take on the Eastern Connecticut Cubs (5-13, ninth place), in Newington on Sunday, July 26…all remaining dates at New Cannon Yards on this season-ending homestand are sold out…the Baby Bears surrender nearly seven runs per contest and Celio called these games “must win”; Connecticut tied its all-time A Division best seven–win total from last season and looks to shatter that mark with four games to play…with three home wins, the Cannons matched their best mark since joining the upper level in 2006; prior to the Game Two loss, the Big Guns had won four in a row against the Metallurgists after dropping seven straight decisions to start the series…this was Connecticut’s first series win of the season (3-1); the Cannons’ batting averaged rose to .281 through eight Sundays, a sign the team might be getting hot at the right time yet again (the overall opponents’ average inched ever-closer reaching .278, the highest plateau at any point this season)…Connecticut has 124 total hits while the opposition has 121; another Sunday, another pair of brittle broken bats—two Rally Bats—as the team dangerously approached the single bat bag barrier (a post-season re-stock is imminent); Balcerzak, Barsa, Clark, Dionicio, Luby, Maule, McDowell, McGann, Patenaude Quinn, Svoboda, and Yanosy have all played in eight or more games for the Cannons this season, achieving postseason eligibility (DePalma and Weber can join their teammates in the games against the Cubbies…Celio, Steve Markie, and Pallone all still several games away though all can earn eligibility within the four remaining games); McDowell joined Balcerzak (21), Maule (20…13 doubles), Dionicio (16), and Luby (12) as Cannons to reach the ’09 double-digit hit mark (Celio’s team-leading single season total of twenty-eight hits set in the inaugural 2001 campaign is within striking distance); Maule (.500), Balcerzak (.429), Dionicio (.390), McDowell (.333) and Barsa (.308) are the five Cannon hitters with batting averages above .300 on the season (six Cannons are currently under the Mendoza Line…P Patenaude has not had a plate appearance); Barsa v. Bristol: the first baseman enjoyed facing the Bristol pitching staff, going 5 for 14 (.357, 2B, 3B, 4 R, 3 RBI) in games against the Scrappers…he is 3 for 12 (.250, 2 R, 2 RBI) against all other opponents; “T-Rex”—first in line as the food came off the grill at Weber’s last weekend—proudly consumed three cheeseburgers and two hot dogs at DePalma’s after the contests…yet still audaciously expressed disbelief that “Mouth From the South” Dionicio was not in attendance for the free feast (DePalma graciously grubbed with Balcerzak, Barsa, Celio, and Clark at his New Britain abode…Dionicio did take the one Stella Artois from the Cannons cooler saying simply, “I don’t drink Bud.”)…Barsa regaled teammates with talk of a four-way skinny dip—“The Terrorist,” a forty year old non-virgin, and two twenty somethings—during which, “two hands were on my c**k and my two hands were on t**s at all times”; the Return of Hairway to Heaven: most in the Cannons conglomerate expressed an affinity for fully shaved females while “Billy Bush” was the lone dissenting voice saying the harrier the merrier; Clark admitted to kicking out all of the windows on an ex-girlfriend’s car when he found out she was cheating on him (he replaced them when the ex and her gang-affiliated new beau threatened to involve local law enforcement…or the Lords and Dukes, New Britain-area gang members; DePalma, After Dark: the catcher confided in Barsa and Celio after several brews that: 1) he is a wine connoisseur (“$28 a bottle or better”); 2) he has banged a black chick; and 2) over the last two and half years of what, in hindsight, was a doomed marriage he was referred to on-line and in text messages as F***WAD (always capitalized) by his wife, as in, “I have to go, F***WAD just got home.”; with the eighth month just a few days away, World Headquarters was contacted from California by Tom “Mr. August” Bogiatzis who has enjoyed the articles and wishes the Cannons all the success in the world for the upcoming playoffs; The Elbow Room, Plan B, The Spigot, are now joined by Cocoa Kitchen and Bar as official sponsors of the 2009 Connecticut Cannons playoffs; the team has twenty-four tickets for a luxury box at Dodd Stadium in Norwich for a contest between the Akron Aeros and Connecticut Defenders on Thursday, August 13; Celio will put on a post-game party following the games against the cross-town rival Newington Capitals on August 2…the Manager is also exploring possible August dates for Italian-Fest ’09; two weeks from today (Monday, August 3) players will be in possession of their ballots for the 2009 Cannons Awards (polls will remain open until 11:59 p.m. on Friday, August 7).

7/19 Studs: Maule (4 for 7, 2B, INT BB, 2 R, 3 RBI, SB); Barsa (3 for 6, 2B, 3 R, RBI, SB of home on a double steal, 3 CB, 2 HD); Dionicio (3 for 7, 2 R, RBI, 4 SB); Yanosy (CG, W, the first victory of his Cannons career); McGann (two outfield assists: Weber comically criticized the outfielder on Sunday for at times playing too deep, calling him out for “Pulling a Mancer,” so-called for the original Cannons’ proclivity to let balls drop harmlessly in for hits rather than making a play); Calusine for not getting ejected (Bristol’s curmudgeonly manager was tossed from the May 3 match-up for arguing with umpires)

CB = cheeseburgers HD = Hot Dogs

7/19 Duds: Patenaude (7 IP, 9 R, 15 H, 2 BB); Celio for failing to insert a fresh-armed Clark when Patenaude showed signs of fatigue as his pitch count entered the eighties