“BEAR” NECESSITY
Cannons Close Out Cubs in Needed Nightcap Win; 4-10 Entering 4th of July Break

Newington, CT (AP)—Baloo, Disney’s happy-go-lucky “sloth bear” from 1967’s The Jungle Book, marches to the beat of his own drum as the saying goes and shows “man cub” Mowgli the fun of leading a carefree existence. In the song “The Bare Necessities,” Baloo wisely encourages Mowgli to forget about his worries and his strife and implores him to relax; when he does so the things needed to have a fun and fruitful life will simply come his way. The Connecticut Cannons, 3-9 entering Sunday amidst a season-long four-game losing streak, have clearly been pressing to this point of the campaign. New players abound and finding the perfect fit has proven painstakingly difficult while unexpected “commitment concerns” have made the prospect of putting the most lethal line-up on the field an on-going problem (Drew McDowell stated the obvious in a tongue-in-cheek pre-game interview: “One day when everybody on the roster gets here we will be a team to be reckoned with.”). The crimson-clad club from Newington would do well to channel its inner Baloo, forgetting about the first twelve games or the next eight games or even the playoffs and simply playing ball: leave the worries behind, relax and let the winning all of Cannon Nation has been desperately waiting for begin. As June in the CNMSBL A Division comes to a close, Connecticut was able to scratch and claw its way to a much-needed morale-boosting win against the Eastern Connecticut Cubs at Mill Pond Park in Newington, moving into seventh-place at 4-10 on the 2008 season (the Glastonbury Marlins swept the Newington Capitals, once again dropping Dave Sacco’s club into the standings cellar). With Independence Day later this week it is the sincere hope of those involved in Connecticut Cannons Baseball that the early fireworks displayed at times on this hot and humid day were a sign of great things to come over the remaining course of the season.

Tom Clark took his customary spot atop the mound though the defense behind him was a bit out of the ordinary, especially in the infield where Kevin Quinn was enlisted as the backstop and Mike Weber was set up at second while Mike “Bono” McGann and McDowell manned the left side at shortstop and third respectively (McGann was notably stellar at short). Clark was impressive in the early going, setting down the side in order on just twelve pitches and the Cannons offense rewarded him for his efforts with a first-inning advantage. McDowell, hitting in the two hole, singled between first and second and came all the way around to score on Jason Maule’s double to deep centerfield off Cubs starter Leif “The Viking” Ericson to put Connecticut on top 1-0. Eastern Connecticut was able to snatch the lead back in the second on a pair of doubles by Bobby Meakem and Paul Verboven and a sacrifice fly by Van Wilder to move out in front 2-1. Then the Baby Bears tacked on three more in the third as Clark walked Rouge Moulin and Ericson and allowed singles to Dane Cook, Meakem (RBI) and Verboven (RBI) increasing the Cubs advantage to 5-1. The Cannons responded with a pair in the home half of the third as Andy Borst singled and Leo Dionicio drove him in with a base hit up the middle (the “Hard-Hittin’ Hispañiolan” moved into scoring position as the throw to the plate carried Cubs catcher Verboven up the first base line). In an ill-advised attempt to “get [his] legs loose,” Dionicio stumbled but still tried to steal third getting gunned by several steps with the heart of the line-up approaching. McDowell—expectedly—followed with a composite bat double dunked just inside the third base line and scored as Maule stroked his second two-bagger in as many at-bats to cut the Cubs lead to 5-3. Clark, holding the Cubbies down at the dish, helped himself in the sixth, driving in McDowell with a double—the team’s fourth extra base hit of the outing—to pull the Cannons within one. Clark (7 IP, 5 H, 5 R, 4 ER, 5 BB, 4 K) then set Eastern down in order in the seventh but Connecticut was unable to put any runners on as the bottom of the order went quietly giving the Cubs a hard-fought though hardly deserved 5-4 victory. “Difficult to digest,” intoned an irritated Manager Matt “Check Swing” Celio between games. “Failing to produce and put bats on balls in big spots, like when I went down swinging in the seventh, is unacceptable (Celio was used as a DH for right fielder and solid citizen Jack Vanasse). Poor plate approach today and I’ve got to be better than that though I’m not alone in this regard (the Cannons had nine whiffs in the game and Connecticut’s eighty-eight strike outs—accounting for thirty percent of the team’s outs—are more than double that of its opponents). Little mistakes seem to come back to haunt us in big ways. Walks and errors turn into runs while base running blunders keep us off the scoreboard. We truly have talent, all that we need to win the A Division title in 2008 in fact, but we have to play a better brand of baseball, minimize mistakes and maximize opportunities, before our potential can play itself out. If we do this, the Cannons will without question be a tough out for the remainder of the season and, more importantly, come tournament time. This was a missed opportunity by us in the opener but if we play a bit better I’m confident we’ll come out of here with a win in the nightcap.”

Bona fide Cub killer Mike Patenadue mounted the mound in game two and dazzled Eastern through the first four frames (the fifty-two year old lefty-hander had a perfect game going after facing the first thirteen batters). Offensively, the revamped Cannons line-up—Maule moved from lead-off to third while McGann and McDowell filled the first two spots—came out firing against Patenaude-wannabe Ericson (out of necessity, the Cubs were forced to use the game one starter for three additional game two innings though he was clearly running on fumes). McGann worked a walk, McDowell singled and Maule moved both runners over with a groundout to first. Clark was issued a free pass to load the bases and Dionicio drove in the first run of the game with a single. Quinn followed with a sacrifice fly to center and Weber singled between short and third to push the Cannons further in front by a score of 3-0, the team’s largest first-inning output this season. In the third, Connecticut added to the lead as Maule tripled—his third extra base hit of the double dip—and Clark knocked him home with a double. Quinn, catching his second consecutive game in excruciating dugout-free conditions, lined a single that scored Clark and the Cannons had what seemed to be a comfortable 5-0 advantage as Patenaude cruised. However, in the fifth the Cubs finally figured out the riddle that had been Patenaude as McCoy Hanfield hit a one-out single, Verboven walked, Wilder dropped a RBI double in and Mathias Noheimer grounded to Chris Barsa at first who conceded the run in exchange for the out (Patenaude then got Scrubs Noheimer, Mathias’ less-talented twin, to pop weakly to second for the final out of the frame). Connecticut answered immediately as McDowell singled—his fifth hit of the day, raising his average to a season-high .317—and Maule took a base on balls (McGann led off the inning with a double but was thrown out at third as he tried to stretch his hit into a triple, a move eerily reminiscent of the Dionicio debacle with the big bats to follow). “Gringo From Santo Domingo” Dionicio had a two-run base hit that got over the outstretched glove of Meakem at third and the Cannons once again led by five, 7-2. Eastern, clearly happy having won the opener, could have gone quietly but instead rallied for additional runs in the sixth against Patenaude as Cook and Ericson singled, Meakem grounded into a force out at third that McDowell then threw wide of Barsa at first to put both base runners in scoring position. Hanfield followed with a single that scored two, cutting the Cannons lead to 7-4 (“Bad decision by me,” admitted McDowell. “I should have tried the conventional 5-4-3 double play.”). Patenaude (7 IP, 6 H, 4 R, 3 ER, 1 BB, 2 K) allowed a single in the seventh but Connecticut’s wizened wonder was able to get Wilder, the younger Noheimer and Moulin to secure the victory, evening his record at 3-3 on the season. Weber said to the gathered reporters: “It was nice to see a team in a situation so familiar to us over the years. It makes MP’s efforts all the more impressive when you see how we jumped all over Ericson in the early innings of game two. One hundred-plus pitches on a hot day can take its toll.” Celio was far more pleased with the results of this contest and it was apparent in his post-game press conference: “Two solid pitching performances by our guys today and I’m happy we can go into the Independence Day layoff with a win. Our offense was more effective than it has been in recent weeks and those moves at the top paid immediate dividends, making it difficult for opposing pitchers to get through the line-up unscathed. Drew, Jason, Leo and Tom were dynamite, combining for thirteen hits (six for extra bases) while scoring nine and driving in eight. Impressive, and if we get production like that while guys like Borst, “Bono,” K-Dog, Web and others fill the stat sheet then we are really going to put some crooked numbers in the book, making playing us painful for other pitchers. If we can play within ourselves in all three areas of the game we have a chance to do something special and be the last team standing when everything is said and done in August. This is when the fun truly starts and I’m excited to be a part of it.”

From blow to Baloo, this Connecticut Cannons team took a five-game skid and made it fade by forgetting about the past, relaxing and playing in the now. One win does not a season make, especially against a 4-8 sixth-place opponent, but it’s certainly better than starting July on a six-game slide. This team has the bare necessities—fielding, hitting, pitching, speed—and more to compete for the 2008 CNMSBL A Division crown. Regular season success or failure matters little when the ultimate prize waits on the sultry Saturdays and Sundays in August. Forget about your worries Cannon Nation. July is just about here and with the warmer weather comes a Connecticut ball club bursting at the proverbial seams to prove itself on the league’s grandest stage. Is it hot in here or is it just the Cannons? Time will tell. Tickets for the July 13 match-up against the Winsted Rifles (8-4, first-place in the CNMSBL West, third-place overall) at Sacco Stadium at Alumni Field are available at 1 800 CANNONS or on-line at ctcannons.blogspot.net (Loge Box, Outfield Grandstand and Standing Room Only seats remain).

Cannons News and Notes: Dionicio’s single in the third inning of game one was the team’s one hundredth hit of the season (Cannons batters have 116 total hits through fourteen games—8.3 per contest—while Cannons pitchers have allowed 100 hits); after starting the season 2 for 13 and 1 for 18 respectively, Maule (11 for 20; .550, 2 2B, 3B, 2 HR, 5 R, 7 RBI in six games) and McDowell (12 for 23; .522, 3 2B, 7 R, 3 RBI in eight games) have busted out of their mini-slumps in big ways, bolstering a Cannons offense averaging just 3.71 runs per game; Connecticut had twenty hits on Sunday (Barsa and John Mancini were the only players to go hitless), increasing the team average from .274 to .285; Bill Balcerzak, Clark, Dionicio, Maule, McDowell and Quinn each has ten or more hits on the season; the Cannons have twenty-six extra base hits through fourteen games; with the performances of Clark and Patenaude on Sunday, the team WHIP dropped to 1.93 (McDowell is the team leader at 1.42 in limited action); both Clark and Patenaude have pitched through 156 plate appearances in six games; Celio earned his playoff eligibility, becoming the twelfth Cannon to do so in 2008 (Patenadue will become eligible when he pitches his next game); Dionicio and McDowell are the only Cannons to play in all fourteen games this season (Celio and Weber have been in attendance each and every Sunday); McDowell’s “training complex” is expected to open in Ridgefield before the end of 2008…the team is expected to get great use out of the facility before next—and each subsequent—season; the team’s “best” A Division regular season mark (6-14) is still within striking distance and besting it has become management’s short-term goal; Balcerzak is expected to miss the remainder of the regular season for I.N.S. training in Philadelphia; Bill Gills informed team officials of his hopes to play “possibly a few” in ’08…management is exploring the “Quinn Exemption,” allowing a roster invitee to achieve eligibility with fewer than the 40% (8) required games; catcher Steve Markie apologized “for letting the team down” after missing Sunday’s games because his daughter’s were ill; Mark Lynch plans to test his ailing foot after the two-week layoff; pitching recruit John Comey suffered self-described “elbow problems” in an emergency start in the Vernon Baseball League (he was 3 for 5 with 4 RBI on the offensive end)…he plans to attend the July 13 double dip in a meet and greet scenario; former Cannon Jason Jackson, he of Lifetime Achievement Award fame, will return to Connecticut for Fourth of July festivities before returning to Florida and his job with the Miami Heat; HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY CANNON NATION!

IRON MEN
Metallurgists Melt Down Cannons; Connecticut Sinks to CNMSBL Cellar

Bristol, CT (AP)—Iron Man, the iconic Marvel character, first appeared in Tales of Suspense some forty-five years ago and is still significant as the subject of this summer’s first $300 million Hollywood blockbuster. “Iron Man,” the signature song from rock legends Black Sabbath was released nearly forty years ago and was recently named one of Rolling Stone’s 500 Greatest Songs of All Time as well as VH1’s Greatest Metal Song. Fifteen of the Cannons nineteen 2008 roster invitees were not even born—while several others were not even the proverbial twinkle in their father’s eye—as the early 1970s signaled the beginning of the “Me Decade” with Vietnam, Voyager, Vonnegut and Van McCoy still to follow. Many of the Metallurgists were indeed around when the Three Mile Island disaster and three disco-lightful brothers from Brisbane, Australia were just dreams in the distance of this decade of decadence. You can’t put a price on experience and Bristol has this particular commodity in spades, some may even go so far as to say they have the corner marketed. “Dominican Dreamboat” Leo Dionicio flashed more wit than leather when he stated: “I added up all the ages of their players (not that islanders are known for accuracy in terms of años) and subtracted from 2008. The difference took me all the way back to Jesus’s days and I’m not talking Jesus Colome but the real J.C., with the long hair, the robes and sandals. Striking.” Sage subdued stripling on Sunday as Bristol swept Connecticut by scores of 7-3 and 5-0 to once again bury the Cannons (3-9) in the basement of the CNMSBL A Division as Divisional play resumes with a pair against the seventh-place Eastern Connecticut Cubs (3-7) on the horizon for next weekend.

Game One pitted two of the league’s top arms against one another as right-hander Tom Clark and left-hander Giglielmo Arconii squared off for a seven innings slugfest. Bristol struck first in the home half of the opening frame allowed singles a single to Liogas Greenleaf who was erased on a fielder’s choice and replaced on base by Vladimir Bratina. Oliver Platt followed with a single while Nate “Tiny” Archibald and Oral “Sexy” Roberts were issued free passes to push the first run across in the form of the “Siberian Bull.” A wild pitch plated Platt and Clark walked Carmine Giovinazzo to re-load the bases but the righty battled out of the jam by getting Marco Rosano to fly out to Jack Vanasse in right. With his buggy whip arm Arconii was on, allowing just four singles through the first five innings while striking out seven. Bristol added single runs in the second and fourth innings on a RBI single by Wilkes Bahre and a passed ball that scored Giovinazzo who had walked with one out. Bahre came up big in the fifth, leading off with a single which was followed by a walk to Standish Klare. Both scored when “Death From Above” Bratina belted a double deep to the wall in left for a 7-0 that seemed to provide plenty of breathing room for Arconii. The Cannons offense came to life for an inning as the team scored three in the sixth on a lead-off double by Vanasse, the rookie’s first extra base hit as a Cannon, and an run-scoring single by Bill Balcerzak, his twelfth hit and ninth run batted in, good for the team lead in both categories. Clark was hit by pitch and Drew McDowell drove a double to center to score two and pull Connecticut within four. Clark (L, 6 IP, 6 H, 7 ER, 5 K, 9 BB) tossed a one-two-three sixth but the Cannons could only muster a Mike Weber single in the seventh before going quietly, dropping the opening decision by a final score of 7-3.

Though the team was immersed in a season-tying three game losing streak there was a quiet confidence on the Cannons bench as management shortened the line-up and put staff stalwart Mike Patenaude on the mound to silence the scrappy Metallurgists. However, Bristol was able to battle for a pair of first frame runs on a single to Klare, an error, and back-to-back doubles by Platt and Bratina and that proved to be all the Metal Men would need behind Platt and his plus stuff. Patenaude was touched for an unearned run in the second as Lord Farquarson doubled with one down, advanced on a ground ball to the right side and scored after an Adam Pallone error at third (Pallone and Dionicio were able to get Bahre in a run-down but the run scored before the out was recorded). Two more Metallurgist runs came across in the fourth as Giovinazzo led off with a base hit, Farquarson doubled for the second time in as many at-bats, a passed ball got away from catcher Steve Markie to score Bratina from third (in the form of a courtesy runner) and Bahre singled home the fifth and final run of the contest. Connecticut could only muster three hits (singles by Clark and Weber and a triple by Dionicio who initially opted out of the game because of back spasms and a groin pull) against Platt in this pluvial performance (rain threatened for much of the day with a brief downpour in the fifth…Manager Matt Celio said after the games: “The rain was more threatening than our offense today.” Weber labeled the bats “Fred Astaire-esque: one, two, three, then pitch.”). Patenaude (6 IP, 7 H, 5 R, 3 ER, 1 K, 3 BB) allowed two walks in the fifth and two more runners reached on infield errors—the Cannons had seven miscues in Game Two—while managing to keep the Cannons close but despite the Dionicio classic “I love coming from behind” call-to-arms a sixth-inning single by Clark followed by a McDowell hit-by-pitch was all Connecticut could muster and the team was shut out for the second time this month (a hard-luck 4-0 loss to John Skinner and the Glastonbury Marlins back on June 1) bowing out in the back end 5-0. “Two hard fought games on another Sunday that saw us shorthanded. Bristol got a pair of solid pitching performances, we made a few mistakes and those guys made them hurt,” Celio succinctly stated to the scores of reporters outside the Cannons locker room. “A pretty descent performance considering what we had to overcome (seven players were unavailable on Sunday, an unsettling trend in 2008) and I think we can take some positives away from these games that will go a long way toward determining what kind of team we will be in another month or so when it matters most.”

On Friday of last week the Summer Solstice quietly came and went. Days are once again getting ever-so-slightly shorter as we head toward the bottom of the year and a long, lifeless off-season in Connecticut. Things are growing increasingly short for the Connecticut Cannons in regular season play as the team is once again on the bottom of the scrap heap looking up at the third-place Metallurgists (9-5) and the rest of the CNMSBL A Division. On Sunday the die was cast and the iron men of Bristol wrought two wins against a Cannons club that simply couldn’t “steel” one on the road. The Metal Heads have to this point been the anvil dropped time and time again on the Big Guns unsuspecting Wile E. Coyote: humorous if you are the “dropper,” less so if you are the “droppee.” The defending champion Baby Bears come to Newington for two and Manager Bill Lageman wonders how and why the mighty have fallen, saying after Sunday’s split with the Capitals, “It’s hard to explain. As far as our team is concerned things are not going all that great and the old saying ‘What a difference a year makes’ is quite appropriate here.” The last time these teams met the Cannons emerged with a pair of convincing victories and Cannon Nation will breathe a bit easier if the crimson-clad club can stage a repeat performance in the unfriendly openness of Mill Pond Park. Is Connecticut the baseball equivalent of iron pyrite—commonly referred to as “fool’s gold”—or does the team have some true worth with golden days lying directly ahead? This Sunday, Cannons/Cubs in a classic CNMSBL confrontation that reverberates with significant post-season ramifications (Loge Box, Outfield Grandstand and Standing Room Only seats are available at 1 800 CANNONS or on-line at ctcannons.blogspot.net). It’s been said before but it bears repeating: it’s time to Get Your RED On Cannon Nation!

Cannons News and Notes: Balcerzak returned after being enshrined in the Medina High School Hall of fame in upstate New York…his induction speech has been rumored to rival Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I have a dream” and John F. Kennedy’s “Ask not you’re your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country” as one of the most influential orations of the last fifty years; John Mancini played six innings in center in the absence of Jason Maule (dental surgery)…new nicknames for “Blue Fire” include “Boom Boom” and Dionicio’s favorite, “Johnny Mnemonic;” Balcerzak, Clark, Dionicio and Maule all have ten or more hits on the season; Dionicio’s three-bagger was the team’s first since the “Gringo From Santo Domingo” hit one against Marlborough in the 2006 postseason; despite being three-hit in Game Two Connecticut still hold a hitting advantage over its opponents, .274 to .261; Cannons batters have struck out seventy-three times while opposing hitters have only gone down swinging twenty-nine times…in eerily similar statistics, Connecticut has only worked twenty-eight walks while the opposition has received seventy-seven free passes; Clark and Patenaude have hurled sixty + of Connecticut’s 80 + innings in ’08; McDowell has requested a more active role in the pitching rotation…management will look to get “Louisiana Lightnin’” some additional innings in the second half of the season; the Cannons team WHIP is 2.06…opposing pitchers have a WHIP of 1.57; Weber made his first appearance as an infielder this season, logging five innings at second in Game One before re-aggravating a quad injury legging out a fielder’s choice (Dionicio replaced him for the remainder of the day); Bristol improved to 7-0 against the Cannons since Connecticut joined the A Division in 2006 (6-0 regular season; 1-0 postseason); Weber and Vanasse became the tenth and eleventh Cannons respectively to earn their ’08 playoff eligibility; OF Mike McGann is expected to return after completing two weekends worth of teaching degree course work; Steve “Lil’ Unit” Celio, older brother of the Cannons Manager, was waiting in the wings if the team could not put nine bodies on the diamond; Weber’s brother, Jeff, is getting married later this summer…the bachelor party will be held this Friday (June 27, 7:00 p.m.) at the New Britain Elks Club…donations are $20 and several Cannons have expressed interest in attending what will undoubtedly be a media circus; McDowell’s oldest son and Fan of the Year candidate, Jake, brought his Webkinz leopard lizard into the dugout…the lizard’s name: Mr. Cool.

FOUNDERING FATHERS
Cannons Come Out Flat Against A’s, Plummet to 3-7 at Campaign’s Mid-Point

Newington, CT (AP)—What a difference a week makes. After emerging victorious from the Battle of Newington against the cross-town rival Capitals (3-7) in a pair of pitchers duels, one of which became a bonus frame blowout, the Connecticut Cannons were owners of a two-game winning streak entering this weekend’s scheduled showdown with the Marlborough Athletics and were showing signs of becoming the team everyone expected at the start of the 2008 season. On Sunday things changed in a hurry as the club reverted to its old ways within the confines of what has become a personal house of horrors, New Cannon Yards (Connecticut has compiled a paltry 1-5 record at home this season—one “home” double header was played at Glastonbury’s Smith School Stadium—after consecutive 1-9 campaigns in 2006 and 2007…the third base dugout was also the site of the infamous “Beer-gate” debacle after the May 18 double dip). Aggravation, injuries and all-around poor play marred this Father’s Day fiasco and left many in the organization scratching their heads. “We have team depth,” said a visibly frustrated Manager Matt Celio, “but there are some glaring deficiencies to that depth. For example, when I am forced to log significant innings in the outfield we are not nearly at our best defensively,” a thinly veiled reference to the commitment concerns faced by the team through the early portion of the season, most notable in yesterday’s losses (thirteen of nineteen roster invitees have missed at least one of the team’s ten games for what sources close to the club called “undisclosed reasons”). “I can’t apologize enough to Mike [Patenaude] and the rest of the fellas for my pathetic performance but there are even bigger issues than being a laggard who’s inept with the leather. It’s the mental mistakes that are truly killing us as a team and keeping us from reaching our full potential. Base running blunders such as guys not tagging up on deep fly balls and players getting picked off while in scoring position, poor plate discipline and the aforementioned inability to make the routine play puts inordinate amounts of pressure on us as a team, especially on a pitching staff that needs to be all but perfect at present, forcing us to play from behind on an almost weekly basis. It’s frustrating to be in this position again because these are by far the best players and people we’ve put out on the diamond. That being said, I have full faith in this ball club and I believe our best baseball is ahead of us…we just can’t wait that much longer to find what works.” Hard-luck Game One loser Tom Clark agreed: “I really want the Cannons to win games more than anything. There are things called mental errors that are the kings of all mistakes. If you want to win ball games you need to win more of the ‘small skirmishes.’ Sure, we were missing some guys but that means the rest of us have to step up and do all of the little things well. We need to work deep into pitch counts. We need to run the bases more effectively. Management has assembled a great team, one that desperately wants to win and I know we’ve got the guys to get it done but there is still work to be done before we can call ourselves the best. The side that wins more minor battles will eventually win the war. The season is suddenly short and the time to right the ship is NOW.” Assistant Manager Mike Weber, on the other hand, was a bit blunter in his assessment: “We’ve hit rock bottom. That’s the lowest I’ve ever felt after a pair of losses. I hate that f*****g team and we definitely should have taken the first game. I’m responsible for the loss (like Celio, Weber was involved in some misadventures in the outfield). Our play, mine in particular, was unacceptable. On the bright side, we’ve got nowhere to go but up. With our revamped roster we’re still finding our personality while other teams have already defined theirs. We’ve got a bunch of Gary Cooper’s on the Cannons: strong, silent types, good character guys. That’s a great thing when you win but sometimes, especially when things aren’t going great, you need a spark and that is difficult when almost everybody is cut from that same mold. Somebody has to light a fire under the team and that just hasn’t happened yet. We need it to happen soon.”

Clark, making his fourth start of the season in Cannons crimson, squared off against the A’s Dixon “The Line” Mason in a match-up of first round draft choices and Clark looked great in the early going, fanning two in the first frame. In the second the Cannons right-hander was hurt as Weber misplayed a line drive slicing to his right into a one-out double. Clark then allowed back-to-back singles to the seven and eight batters, the second a two-run base hit by Loni “WKRP” Anderson, staking the A’s to the early advantage. After a base on balls and a hit by pitch packed the sacks the Cannons pitcher bore down and got a come-backer that he played to the plate and a ground out to second to escape further damage. Connecticut immediately responded as Kevin “K-Dog” Quinn singled, stole second, advanced on a passed ball and scored on a nice piece of hitting as Weber poked a ground ball to the right side to cut the lead in half, 2-1. In the third Connecticut moved ahead with help from the bottom of the line-up as Celio singled leading off the inning (Jack Vanasse entered as a courtesy runner for the slow-footed skipper). Andy “Facts of Life” Borst beat out an infield single and Vanasse, never slowing, raced to third on the throw and eventually scored as the ball sailed over the head of third baseman Axl Rosza. Leo Dionicio plated Borst with a clutch two-out base knock as the Cannons climbed on top, 3-2. After an excellent play by Quinn on a grounder up the middle to start the fourth, Clark surrendered a one-out double to Marlborough Manager Paul Sciano but after a ball was hit back to the box it looked as if TC would emerge from the inning unscathed. However, a routine chopper to third baseman Drew McDowell was thrown up the line for an error that not only scored a run but allowed Buddy “Saved By The” Bell to scamper around the bases, reaching third without a throw. Giuseppe “Celebrity” Moleti helped Marlborough regain the lead as he stroked a RBI single to move the Athletics back ahead by a count of 4-3. The Cannons then became victims of bad base running and bad luck over the next few frames as Weber and Vanasse singled in the fourth but were stranded as Celio flew out to left on an awkward catch by Shannen “90210” Doherty, Borst led off the fifth with a double but was picked off of second after failing to advance on a Jason Maule fly out to the centerfield track—“You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the ‘Facts of Life’,” said Celio—and Quinn hit into an inning-ending phantom double play in the sixth as Moleti tagged Chris Barsa with his glove while the ball was in his bare hand. Clark (7 IP, 6 R, 4 ER, 10 H, 3 K, 2 BB, 1 HBP) allowed lone runners to reach in the fifth and sixth but was touched for two runs in the seventh on a double, single and sacrifice fly. Weber started the bottom of the seventh with a base hit and Celio followed with a one-out single but the Cannons were unable to push any runs across as Mason got Borst and Maule to ground out to end the opener, a 6-3 final in favor of the A’s.

As a light mist fell on the Yards, Patenaude took his familiar perch on the pitcher’s mound but the Athletics, always a tough match-up for the fifty-two year old lefty, immediately went to work scoring five first inning runs on a walk, three singles, a double and a pair of infield errors. The Cannons bounced back for one as Maule hit his second home run in as many weekends but Moleti poked a one-out jack in the top of the second to move the A’s out in front by a score of 6-1. In the third, Patenaude issued a lead-off base on balls and singles to five of the next six batters he faced before getting Red Baron to line to right where Celio took two steps in on a ball that subsequently sailed over his head to the wall for a bases-clearing “triple”—“I know the official scorers didn’t call that an error but they should have,” stated Celio sourly when asked about his screw-up—that stretched the Marlborough advantage to a terrible 12-1. Borst reached on a fielder’s choice in the fourth, stole second and scored on a Maule RBI knock to right but that wasn’t enough to prolong things for Patenaude (5 IP, 12 R, 8 ER, 13 H, 1 K, 3 BB) as the Cannons went quietly in the home half of the fifth and the team fell victim to the mercy rule in a 12-2 drubbing.

On Father’s Day the Marlborough A’s rhetorically asked, “Who’s your daddy?” and the Connecticut Cannons could do nothing more than turn attention to next Sunday’s games on the road against the 7-5 Bristol Continental Metallurgists (10:00 a.m., Calusine Coliseum at Bristol Central High School). If any positive can be taken from these games—and few can—it is the fact that the Cannons are no worse off in the standings than they were last week: they are still a sixth-place ball club with ten more games to play in the regular season. The second half, with match-ups against inter-league rival Bristol, four contests against the last-place Eastern Connecticut Cubs, the Winsted Rifles and Hartford Nationals, provides an opportunity for this team to prove its metal, showing opponents, fans and, most importantly, themselves what the 2008 Connecticut Cannons are truly made of. The Cannons are foundering currently but the foundry of post-season success is stoked as June closes in on July and a CNMSBL A Division Championship contender can still be forged if a team gets hot enough. It will undoubtedly be a trial by fire yet if Connecticut can stand the heat they can stay out of the basement and the ceiling on the season is unlimited. The potential is certainly present but with Father’s Day passing time is of the essence: it’s time to stop playing like boys and start playing like men. Growing pains are just that, a pain, but when they are done the result is a bigger, faster, stronger product. To paraphrase Rick Gassko (Tom Hanks) from Bachelor Party, “If the Connecticut Cannons really apply themselves, they could be a totally changed team by the time Sunday comes.” Let’s get the party started!

Cannons News and Notes: McGann, only available until 11:00 a.m., wondered aloud in the dugout why he was batting eighth: “I thought management would want to maximize my at-bats.”…Celio’s one-word response: “Minimize.”; with singles on Sunday, Celio (4 for 5) and Vanasse (1 for 2) joined all other Cannons with more than three at-bats in the hit column…Mancini (0 for 3) and Patenaude (0 for 1) are hitless in limited offensive action; Connecticut is hitting .285 as a team while getting on base at a .343 clip (the club has out-hit its opponents 85 to 76…conversely the Cannons only have 26 walks as compared to 65 for opposing ball clubs); despite improved defense, the Big Guns have allowed 26 unearned runs through ten games; the Cannons are 0-5 all-time against Bristol since making the move to the A Division in ’06; Bangs and Bruises: Celio aggravated his sprained his right knee on a swing in Game One…Clark suffered from the expected shoulder soreness after his 127-pitch performance…Mark Lynch may be able to return to the team on a limited basis as his ankle injury has stabilized…Steve Markie has experienced consistent shoulder fatigue after catching a game for the Cannons on May 18…McDowell pulled his right quadriceps muscle legging out a last inning ground ball (he is listed as day-to-day)…Weber suffered a severe leg injury and was forced to remove himself from the field in Game One; Player Points Update: Bill Balcerzak, Barsa, Borst, Clark, Dionicio, Maule, McDowell, McGann and Quinn have all earned their post-season eligibility using the league’s archaic formula; Celio ran into former Cannon Mike Calabrese late last week: Cal expressed his desire to return to the team after his trade to and subsequent release from Bristol; in other classic Cannons news: Craig Perrier celebrated his thirty-fifth birthday with a 7-2 Braves (4-3) win against the Boston Yankees going 1-3 with a triple…speaking in the third person, the French Phenom said, “Don’t throw Perrier a hanging curve ball because he’ll make it hurt.”…he saw no action in the field: “We have a dominant pitcher, kind of like Patenaude.”; according to WHCN fan McGann, The Police’s multi-platinum album Synchronicity was released twenty-five years ago this week; “Karma Chameleon” Dionicio feels that the team needs a mojo transfusion: “We need to go the Mardi Gras or something. It’s time to hang out with our w***s out and rock out with our c***s out.”…management is exploring this and other possibilities for the very near future.

CAPITAL Ws
Cannons Bounce Back In a Big Way Against Cross-Town Rival Capitals

Newington, CT (AP)—Letters can be fun. Whether it’s strolling down Sesame Street, dancing to the ditty “ABC” by the Jackson 5, enjoying a handful of chocolaty M & M’s, a delicious bowl of Post Alpha-Bits cereal or Campbell’s Alphabet Soup one can derive great pleasure from the characters used in written language. Meaningful combinations of letters can also be found in any baseball league’s lexicon: CNMSBL, DP, OPS, RBI, WHIP. Yet too often this season it has been a single letter that has vexed the Connecticut Cannons: L. Despite the off-season influx of team-first talent the Big Red Machine still found itself in the A Division cellar as the calendar showed the second Sunday of June. Ensconced in the veritable frying pan of New England’s first 2008 heat wave, the Cannons took on the cross town rival Capitals in what has come to be known as the Battle of Newington, a perennial paean to big market baseball in central Connecticut. As the sun shone down on Sacco Stadium at Alumni Field and the mercury crept toward the century mark, the Cannons cut down on things that have cost the team in the campaign’s early going—BBs, Es and Ks to name a few—and in doing so discovered the most important letter in the entire alphabet when it comes to athletics: W. The Cs, with a pared-down player list that included just twelve 2008 roster invitees, went into what Manager Matt Celio referred to as “must-win games” and emerged victorious not once but twice, 11-4 in nine innings and 2-1 to move into sole possession of sixth-place with a home date against the As of Marlborough (5-3 at press time) on Sunday, June 15 (Father’s Day) as interleague play continues.

The Cannons, without early season starters Tom Clark, Mike Patenaude and Jack Vanasse at the beginning of the ball game, instead turned to Adam Pallone on a strict “Joba-esque” pitch count of sixty to seventy throws. The twenty-seven year old right- hander was impressive and was aided by some early help from his Cannon compadre Kevin Quinn in the home half of the first. After recording his first out in crimson, Pallone surrendered a hit to Sal Menke and a free pass to Chris “Suck My” Corkum but K-Dog, playing his sixth position—third base—of the young season, made a diving stab of a sharply hit grounder to his left and sprung up to slap the tag on Menke as he scampered to third for a force out. A fly ball to left to the sure-handed Drew McDowell kept the game scoreless and the former Maryland standout was solid into the third. After sandwiching two outs around a walk to tenth batter Matt Apostle, Pallone induced another ground ball to third but this time Quinn couldn’t come up with it putting runners on first and second. A pair of walks and a wild pitch later the Caps had taken a 2-0 lead before a ground out to Leo Dionicio at second ended the threat. Pallone (3 IP, 1 H, 2 R, 0 ER, 1 K, 4 BB) wanted the ball for one more inning but management felt he had given a scintillating sixty-two pitch performance and instead called on the Mighty Quinn as the Cannons looked to cut into the advantage. In the top of the fourth the long-dormant Cannons offense finally showed signs of life by plating two runs courtesy of the bottom of the order. Mike Weber led things off with a laced line drive down the left field line that hit half way up the fence on the fly and he coasted into second with a stand-up double. Pallone followed with a single, his second hit in as many at-bats, and both players scored on a two out base hit by Andy “Argyle Projectyle” Borst to knot the score at two, officially closing the book on Pallone. Quinn allowed a hit to the first batter he faced in the form of Capitals Manager Dave Sacco but some dazzling defense by the Cannons infield helped him escape the inning unscathed. Art Mooney hit a grounder toward the middle that Dionicio somehow tracked down (earlier in the day the “Dominican Dreamboat” had words with Celio about an error that went against him the previous Sunday against Glastonbury: “I’m the only shortstop who would have gotten to that ball. From now on I’ll just be like the slow white guys and let everything go under my glove for a hit.”) and flipped over his back to shortstop Bill Balcerzak who then fired to first as Chris Barsa picked a low throw out of the dirt. When Balcerzak was asked about the second baseman’s acrobatic play he said: “I knew it was going to be coming from some f***ed up way so I just got myself ready to turn it.” In the top of the fifth controversy came calling when Dionicio, as is so often the case after a Web Gem, had an infield single to start the inning. However, both he and first base coach Weber missed Sacco’s hidden ball trick and when the “Gringo From Santo Domingo” stepped off the bag he was tagged out ending a potential rally (McDowell followed with a deep double but was stranded at second). In the home half, Park Marut walked to start things but was summarily dismissed with extreme prejudice as Borst fired to first with a snap pick off for out number one and Quinn would dispatch the next two batters respectively via a strike out and a ground out to the smooth fielding shortstop Balcerzak. A rally was once again sparked by Weber who singled to start the sixth. Pitcher Mike Karp attempted to catch the fleet-footed extra hitter napping but threw the ball away and Web wheeled all the way around to third with nobody down. McGann followed with an RBI knock, stole second, advanced to third on a passed ball and later scored on a Balcerzak base hit to put the Cannons on top 4-2. Quinn cruised through the sixth against the two-three-four hitters as the ball didn’t leave the infield but ran into some control problems in the seventh. He allowed a one-out double to Sacco, hit Mooney with a pitch, and issued a base on balls to Ruben Sierra. A wild pitch scored Sacco and a sacrifice fly to McGann in right plated Mooney to tie things at four. Patenaude replaced Quinn (3.2 IP, 2 H, 2 ER, 1 K, 3 BB, 1 HBP) and fanned Colwyn Krull in a lefty-lefty match-up to finish the frame and send the game into extra innings. For the first time in the contest the bottom of the Cannons batting order went quietly and Menke reached on a hit to begin the bottom half of the eighth but a hit and run attempt failed miserably as Corkum popped to second and Dionicio decoyed the runner by moving toward second as if a steal was still in order. Menke was hung out to dry as “Kid Caribbean” made the catch and ran the ball back to first to turn the FU (fly out/unassisted) double play, taking the proverbial wind of the Capitals sails. Maule led off the ninth and launched a homer to deep left to put the Cannons on top and the pressure was off the rest of the Connecticut line-up. Balcerzak reached on an error, McDowell singled, Barsa had a RBI base hit, Quinn hit a sacrifice fly to left, Patenaude (pinch hitting for Weber) got aboard on an error, McGann (RBI) and Pallone poked base hits, Borst made it to first on a flub, the fourth of the day—generously—by third baseman Tony Malinosky, and Maule scored two with a single to push the lead to a comfortable seven-run cushion, 11-4. Patenaude (W, 2.1 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 K) closed the door, sitting Newington down in order to secure the victory, the left-handed elder statesman’s first of the 2008 campaign. “Bad things happen to bad people,” Dionicio told reporters after the game, a reference to Sacco and his hidden ball play, one “Big Brown” considered to be bush league (McDowell informed members of the team that his beloved LSU Tigers had fallen prey to the very same play in the College World Series Super Regional). Sacco stated: “I thought we were in great shape when we got out of the eighth without facing Jason [Maule]. Mike [Patenaude] pitched to perfection and Karp simply ran out of gas.” Celio added in his post-game press conference: “Adam and Kevin gave us everything they had—I couldn’t ask for anything more from the two of them at this point of the season though I think we are just scratching the surface with both guys—and it goes without saying that Jason and Mike are two of the best the league has to offer (both players were sorely missed in the June 1 double header against the Marlins). We got top- to-bottom production from our line-up (ten of the eleven batters either scored or drove in a run) and we’re a dangerous team when guys are swinging hot bats. Web and McGann are seeing the ball real well—Mike is going the opposite way which is a family tradition—and though they, Pallone and Borst aren’t going to receive as much media attention as some of our other guys but that part of the order was truly the difference maker today. It’s been said several times that we are a warm weather team and I fully expect us to play with this passion as the season stretches on.”

Game Two saw the “Old Man of the ‘C’” mount the mound yet again and Patenaude definitely did not disappoint. In a battle of nineteen’s the Cannons left-hander was matched up against righty Robert “Don’t Call Me Shirley” Hayes and the two entertained observers with a good old fashioned pitchers duel. Connecticut struck first as McDowell singled, stole second and third and scored as Sierra bobbled a Quinn ground ball at short to make the score 1-0. Patenaude played with fire through the first three frames allowing runners to repeatedly move into scoring position but each time he was able to wiggle out of the jam, most notably in the third when Malinosky fought for a ninth-pitch single to left with two down and runners on first and second. McDowell came up firing with a perfectly placed laser up the third base line that Patenaude snared to nail the lumbering Krull before he reached the plate. After allowing a pinch hit solo poke to Hayes in the fourth that bound the ball game at one Patenaude settled down and was his usual spectacular self, keeping the Caps off balance with a devastating curve ball that seemed to drop off the table right before the batter’s eyes. The Cannons too were able to threaten but it wasn’t until the sixth that the team broke through for an additional tally against Hayes. Maule led off the inning with a single, moved to second on a Dionicio ground out and scored on a McDowell single that snapped the tie, putting the Cannons back on top, 2-1. Patenaude (W, 7 IP, 6 H, 1 ER, 2 K, 7 BB) had all the run support he would need as he ended any hope of a Capitals comeback by getting two pop ups and a strike out in the sixth and then not allowing the ball out of the infield in the final frame (he issued bases on balls to Noose Roppo and Marut and a base hit to Corkum while working for the last six outs). “Jason is so tough in big situations, undoubtedly the most feared hitter in the league in those spots, but it was a real boost to get Drew involved on the offensive end,” Celio said. “D-Mac struggled a bit through the first six games but he’s a middle of the line-up guy for us, his baseball acumen is unparalleled and we expect great things from him. He manufactured that first run with his legs, came up with the clutch hit in the sixth after hustling in the heat and humidity all day and fought a tough backdrop to play a particularly solid left field, from his five catches to the play at the plate. He was remarkable for the Cannons and is one of the big reasons we head home on a winning streak. Borst behind the plate for two was incredible and I think we can expect quality innings from him for the rest of the season. And what can I say about Mike? You just know the guy is going to give the team all he’s got on the mound. To go out there and win two in conditions like this is something special. I think we caught a glimpse of what the Cannons can be this season and when you add some of the pieces that were missing today (Clark, Bill Gills, John Mancini, Steve Markie and Vanasse were absent from the active roster; Tom Luby and Mark Lynch are on sixty-day retroactive injured reserve) we have the potential to be the best the CNMSBL A Division has to offer which is what our players and fans have expected since Opening Day back in April. This was baseball the way we are capable of playing it on a weekly basis. We can stand toe-to-toe in a slugfest or out-pitch an opponent. We’re ready to win by any means necessary. I couldn’t be more pleased with our performance as a team today. The rest of this season should be a whole lot of fun.”

According to Assistant Manager “Yogi” Weber, “A sweep gets our record better.” According to second baseman Dionicio, “Spring training is officially over.” Truer words have rarely been spoken and the Connecticut Cannons now find themselves squarely immersed in a scramble for post-season seeding. The popping of the Caps certainly grades as an A+ but you can alpha-bet the Big Guns are far from satisfied and they shouldn’t rest on their laurels just yet. In the wide world of sports—RIP Jim McKay—Ls are lousy while Ws are wonderful. The Battle of Newington fell in the Cannons favor but the biggest battles of the 2008 CNMSBL season-long war are still ahead. The Connecticut Cannons are clearly loaded and a fire has finally been set to the fuse. The time for this team to explode on the rest of the A Division is now. Standing room only seating for this Sunday’s double dip against the Marlborough Athletics is available at New Cannon Yards via phone (1 800-CANNONS) or internet (ctcannons.blogspot.com) so bring Ol’ Dad on down to the diamond for baseball at its best.

Cannons News and Notes: Balcerzak has scored or driven in fifteen of the team’s thirty-three runs through eight games…the free agent acquisition will be honored by Medina High School as he enters his alma mater’s Hall of Fame this weekend; Maule was 6 for 8—5 for 5 in the opener—on the day, raising his average to .381 on the season…Celio provided the hard-hitting centerfielder with a pair of navy stockings prior to the opening pitch and hopes that the serendipitous socks will allow Maule to continue mashing from the lead-off spot…Maule spent Saturday driving the back roads of Connecticut with his still- blushing bride…when asked if he was looking to move Maule deadpanned: “No. I was looking to be here. I would have climbed a tree if that’s what she wanted.”; Balcerzak, Clark, Steve Markie, Maule, McGann and Weber are hitting above .300 after Sunday’s contests; Pallone’s three hits raised his average to .250 (his fiancée has promised the first-year Cannon can play in August’s postseason instead of leaving for his honeymoon if his average remains above the Mendoza line); Connecticut’s team batting average jumped forty points from .232 to .272 with twenty-eight hits in the double header (the ’07 Cannons hit .274 as a team); Patenaude has compiled a gaudy 1.26 ERA through three games…the veteran left-hander confirmed he was “feeling charitable” when he allowed teammate John Mancini to get a hit in the final inning of the Step Up to the Plate Charity Baseball Marathon…“I walked the batter before ‘Blue Fire’ just to get to him.”…behind Clark, McDowell, Patenaude, Pallone, Quinn and Vanasse Connecticut’s team ERA is more than 1.5 runs fewer per game in 2008 than it was for the 2007 season (3.70 from 5.34); Pallone does not turn twenty-eight until October 3 making him the youngest Cannon and the only one to be born in the eighties (Connecticut now has representation from four distinct decades)…Pallone, the Athletic Trainer for the Trinity College Baseball team, will receive a World Series ring after the Bantams defeated the Johns Hopkins Blue Jays by a score of 5-4 on May 29 to take the NCAA Division III title; the Cannons medical staff announced Celio has been suffering from “flu-like symptoms” for the better portion of a week (his alphabet began an ended with E, not as in error but as in E. coli…oh, and he did K as a pinch hitter for Maule); several sources reported Borst took soft toss before the games…with himself; Barsa saved a baby bird that had fallen from its dugout nest before the games…management initially planned to sacrifice the bird to channel Dionicio’s inner Pedro Cerrano in a slump-busting attempt…the “ Heartthrob de Hipaniola’s” Thing That Makes You Go Hmmm? of the week: “I was so disappointed in ‘Big Brown’s’ performance on Saturday…and that horse going for the Triple Crown at the Belmont Stakes sucked too.”…Dionicio asked Celio if he was playing in Game One and when he was told he would be batting third in the top of the first he stated, “Put a K in the book.”…it was actually a backwards K; Quinn entertained members of the media before the games by explaining how, like Elvis, he enjoys a little less conversation and a little more action: “I once got in a fight with a Marine who claimed to have eight confirmed kills. You know what I did? I knocked his a** out!”; “Loaded Cannon” Craig Perrier played his first game with the Boston Braves going 0-3 with a walk…there were several similarities between this contest and his first game with the Cannons: his first two at bats were a ground out to second and a base on balls; the third baseman dropped an easy pop fly a la Mike Calabrese; he donned his Cannons cap…Perrier settled on #10 for his new uniform saying simply, “One better than Celio.”; Connecticut has swept the Battle of Newington in each of the past two seasons and are 5-3 lifetime against the Caps.

HOOK, LINE AND STINKERS
Cannons Lack Bite Against Marlins; CNMSBL Bottom Feeders Can’t Catch Break

Glastonbury, CT (AP)—Gone fishin’. That classic seasonal allusion: dust dancing lazily in summer sunbeams poking through plate glass windows, Rockwellian sign hung carelessly in the country store window meaning shop’s closed fellas, come back some other time ‘cause we’re off catching fish, a few rays, or even some well-deserved zzzzs. Regardless of what we’re doin’ we’re not doin’ it here and we’re better for this fact. The Connecticut Cannons went game fishing on Sunday but the big one—or in this case, two—once again got away as the Glastonbury Marlins swept the double dip 4-0 behind a brilliant one-hit pitching performance from John Skinner in the opener and 11-4 in the nightcap behind the triumvirate of Artie “The One Man” Pardi, Steve “Journey-man” Perry and Wally “All- World” Joyner. All but silenced, the Cannons ball club may have been better off posting a pescado proclamation rather than playing: the team is floundering, having sunk to the bottom of the CNMSBL standings at 1-5. No squad enjoys playing must-win baseball in early June but dangerous waters lie just ahead and the two games against the cross-town rival Newington Capitals (2-4) are as important for Connecticut’s psyche as they are for postseason positioning. The reality of this season bites so far and the time is now for the Cannons to turn the worm, changing from bait to great before it’s too late.

In a made-for-MLB on Fox match-up, Tom Clark took the hill against Skinner after the two tossed tremendously in last weekend’s Step Up to the Plate Charity Baseball Marathon. Clark started the game in scintillating fashion, striking out Shittake Shigetaka on four pitches, but was victimized by poor defensive play as Retardo Mercado reached on an error and scored on an failed two-out first and third throw through by first-time catcher Kevin Quinn against the stealing Joyner (“All-World” reached on a laced liner off of Clark’s arm who made a Web Gem to get the speedy Skinner at second following his single). In the home half of the first Glastonbury’s former Florida farmhand went to work, setting down the side in order and the Cannons would struggle to put runners in scoring position against the right-hander over the course of the game with just four players reaching second and only one making it to third. Clark (1-1) allowed just one runner to reach base until the fourth when Skinner lined a one-out change-up into the left field bleachers for a 2-0 Glastonbury lead and the Marlins would tack on two more runs on an error, a single and a towering double that dropped just out of reach of leftfielder Jack Vanasse. The four-run cushion was more than enough for Skinner who held Connecticut without a hit until there were two outs in the sixth as Chris Barsa squeezed a single between short and third to break up the no-no. Despite Clark’s best efforts (7 IP, 6 H, 4 R, 2 ER, 5 K, 2 BB on an economical ninety-seven pitches) the Cannons ran into what Assistant Manager Mike Weber aptly deemed “a buzz saw” and after just one hour and forty minutes the team would turn to second-year starter Quinn to right the ship. Weber said: “This was the quickest game I’ve been involved in,” to which Drew McDowell replied, “For all the wrong reasons,” while Barsa added in his best impersonation of Yogi Berra: “It got late early.” Manager Matt Celio tried to put a positive spin on things though he was clearly frustrated with the team’s offensive output: “Baseball is a funny game. Tommy has been everything we’ve expected and thrown real well for us in his three trips to the bump but he got a ‘W’ in the game last weekend when he allowed eight runs [a 9-8 win over Hartford] while he dropped a six-hit, two-earned run performance today and got a no decision after allowing five hits and two runs in the Opener [an eventual 3-2 loss to undefeated, first-place Winsted]. Perennially we are slow starters on the offensive end but three runs a game isn’t going to get it done if we want to make some noise this season [the team has tallied twenty runs in six contests, though nine of those were scored in its lone victory…Connecticut has surrendered forty-five runs]. Add that to the eighteen unearned runs we’ve surrendered and it’s not hard to figure why we are looking up at the rest of the league. We’ve worked tirelessly to put a powerhouse product on the field and we’ve certainly got the pieces for regular- and post-season success but we have to get the production we’re paying for from the guys on our roster. We’re not there yet but we’ll keep trotting the talent out until we get things right.” Despite the on-field difficulties the Marlins biggest and baddest fish showered accolades on his Cannon competitors. Skinner stated: “Toughest team I’ve faced this season. They swung the bats well, were aggressive on the base paths [Connecticut stole three bags against the ace] and really kept me sharp. They were missing some key elements with [Tom] Luby, [Jason] Maule and [Mike] Patenaude out…that could be the difference right there. I honestly think it’s going to be a run between the Marlins and Cannons in the final game of the season.”

After catching Game One for the Cannons, Quinn mounted the mound and provided a gritty, gutsy, grind-it-out performance that the team needed to compete. Despite walking the bases loaded in the first frame the twenty-nine year old righty only allowed a single run to score on a passed ball and Cannons batters seemed eager to cast a line against second starter Pardi. Bill Balcerzak stepped into the box in the bottom of the inning and deposited an opposite field homer into the right center stands to knot the score at 1. Quinn and Pardi each allowed runners to reach scoring position in the second but both bore down to escape any additional damage. In the third, an error on a slow roller by Shigetaka set the stage for the heart of the Marlins order as Skinner reached on a fielder’s choice (erasing Joyner who had been hit by a pitch) and Paul “American Chopper” Tuttle launched a first-pitch offering from Quinn over the wall in right to make the score 4-1. Mike McGann manufactured a run in the bottom of the fourth when he walked, stole second, moved to third on a Celio groundout and scampered home on a passed ball to the short backstop, cutting the Marlins lead in half. In the fifth Joyner walked, swiped second against Quinn and catcher Andy Borst and scored on Skinner’s sun-aided double over a backpedaling McGann to push the advantage back to three but the Cannons in the home half of the fifth frame. Leo Dionico singled and made his intentions to steal second clear to new pitcher Perry and his battery-mate Skinner. A pitch-out proved pointless as the Dominican Dreamboat stayed stationary but he vocalized his plans to go on the very next pitch. Perry pounded the strike zone with a fastball as the Gringo From Santo Domingo took off and Balcerzak made him pay sending the pitch skyward for his second tater of the contest. Clark followed with a double but was stranded after Quinn lined sharply to left to end the inning. Training 5-4, got defensive help from newest Cannon Adam Pallone and it looked as if Connecticut might tie things up after McGann doubled in the sixth but Celio couldn’t come up with the big hit, popping weakly to second and setting the stage for an offensive outburst from the Fish. Quinn (6.1 IP, 5 H, 11 R, 8 ER, 10 BB, 1 HBP), clearly running on fumes, allowed a lead-off single but got an out and a ground ball that went for an error plating the sixth run. A double, an intentional walk and two ball fours with the bases loaded marked the end of the day for Quinn (a tough luck 0-2) after one-hundred eighteen hard-fought hurls. Vanasse entered and issued free passes to three straight batters—Dionicio liked the pitcher’s performance saying, “I’d rather have you look good than be good”…as usual, something may have been lost in translation—and Drew McDowell, after asking Celio if this was something he could opt out of, closed things by allowing a single and then inducing the 4-6-3 double play to halt the hemorrhaging at 11-4. Weber and Borst had back to back base hits to lead off the seventh but Dionicio grounded into two and Balcerzak just missed his third home run of the game with a fly out to left to end things. “Two tough losses for us but there are a lot of bright spots: Billy seems to be hitting the ball real well, Tommy pitched his heart out in Game One but we didn’t provide any offense and Kevin left everything he had on the hill,” intoned Weber. “We plan to build on this and go into Newington, play a lot better and get a couple of wins.” McGann offered: “This is just a blip on the radar. We’re going to bounce back against the Caps, I’m quite confident of that. Once we get on a roll we’re going to be fine. It’s an overused cliché but we just need our players to step up.” Finally Balcerzak stated: “I think the team is trying to figure itself out. We have a lot of new guys, we’re trying to work out our particular niche and our personality. I really think we are going to start gelling and I see good things for the Cannons for the rest of this season. I’m looking for wins to start racking up.” Despite all of the “there are other fish in the sea” talk the Cannons still came home empty handed yet again. The fish bested the fishermen this particular Sunday and lived to fight another day.

Gone Fishin’. That 1997 cinematographic stink bomb starring Joe Pesci and Danny Glover often referred to as the Ishtar of the nineties, a bust despite the big names in bright lights on the marquee (this movie has been called better than Caddyshack II but worse than Freddy Got Fingered). The Connecticut Cannons have A-list talent but little else to show for all the ballyhooed off-season upgrades through six games. The team and the Town of Newington simply can’t afford another lost weekend. The Battle of Newington is slated for Sunday (Sacco Stadium at Alumni Field—Newington High School—10 a.m.) and though the Cannons didn’t catch the Fish there is still plenty of time to catch fire in 2008. The bulk of the baseball season is in front of this Connecticut club but someone or something has to supply that incendiary spark to light the fuse for the Cannons, unleashing an all-out artillery assault on the rest of the CNMSBL’s A Division. The calendar has turned to June but forget fishin’. It’s time to kick back with a Cannonade™ and truly covet the privilege possible as card-carrying citizens of Cannon Nation. The Fish may not have been squished but the Caps most assuredly are about to get popped! Standing room only seating is available via phone (1 800-CANNONS) or internet (ctcannons.blogspot.com).

Cannons News and Notes: Balcerzak became the first Cannon to hit to homers in the same A Division contest…the free agent acquisition will return to Medina High School this weekend where he will be enshrined in the athletic Hall of Fame; McDowell leads the team with a 0.00 ERA while Vanasse has not allowed a hit; Dionico has been suffering from insomnia over the past several weeks—he was parked outside of Cannons World Headquarters at 6:20 a.m. on Sunday, hoping Celio would wake up and hit him some grounders…he clearly could have used the extra work—leading to a plethora of potable quotables: a) “Women kill baseball players…I didn’t make it to the Majors because of them.”; b) “I wish I was gay…then I’d be rich.”; c) “Let me grab you’re a** (to Pallone, Athletic Trainer for the recently-crowned Division III World Series Champion Trinity College Bantams), you’ve got good mojo…and it’s really tight.”; d) “Quinn runs like an eighteen wheeler filled with the fattest Mexicans, like Razor Ramon and Pancho Villa.”; and e) “Celio’s calves are like weapons of mass destruction…but I don’t need to go to Iraq to see them.”…the Heartthrob de Hispaniola entered the dugout at 9:10 a.m., his earliest arrival since joining the team in 2005…he has also asked for the teams prayers in this trying time; McGann enjoyed the “scenery” at the Smith School alternate site and wondered aloud if “we can schedule more games here” (lovely ladies flocked to the field to see the Marlins and Cannons sweat); former player Craig Perrier signed with the Boston Braves late last week (the “Loaded Cannon” plans to wear 6 on his uniform, his old jersey number, or 19 in honor of his favorite former teammate, Mike Patenaude); team physicians determined that C Mark Lynch’s foot injury is more severe than early anticipated and he will require surgery, shutting the brawny backstop down for the rest of ’08…“We had high expectations for Lynchie this season because when he’s on the field he does a great job,” Weber replied when asked about the third-year player. “He’s been battling this injury and just hasn’t been able to give us one-hundred percent. I have all the confidence that [Steve] Markie, Quinn and Borst can do the job for us behind the plate. We want to see Mark back with the Cannons but at the moment we can’t entertain thoughts of a contract extension without having complete and comprehensive results released to us by members of our medical staff.”; eleven Cannons (Balcerzak, Barsa, Borst, Celio, Clark, Dionicio, Mancini, McGann, Patenaude, Vanasse and Weber) participated in the second annual Step Up to the Plate Charity Baseball Marathon at Riverfront Park in Glastonbury from Friday, May 23 to Saturday, May 24…Celio, Vanasse and Weber competed the full twenty-four hours; the Weber’s purchased a new home in Newington that promises to make previous Jocktoberfests seem squalid (according to Web, the fully finished basement is “tailor-made for Cannons Jeopardy.”)…the anticipated closing is in July; the memorial Rick Weber #0 jersey failed to hang in the Cannons clubhouse for the first time since it was retired before the beginning of the ’07 campaign; Connecticut has 39 hits through six games while opponents have 43; the Cannons have started 1-5 for the third straight season.