FOUNDERING FATHERS
Cannons Come Out Flat Against A’s, Plummet to 3-7 at Campaign’s Mid-Point

Newington, CT (AP)—What a difference a week makes. After emerging victorious from the Battle of Newington against the cross-town rival Capitals (3-7) in a pair of pitchers duels, one of which became a bonus frame blowout, the Connecticut Cannons were owners of a two-game winning streak entering this weekend’s scheduled showdown with the Marlborough Athletics and were showing signs of becoming the team everyone expected at the start of the 2008 season. On Sunday things changed in a hurry as the club reverted to its old ways within the confines of what has become a personal house of horrors, New Cannon Yards (Connecticut has compiled a paltry 1-5 record at home this season—one “home” double header was played at Glastonbury’s Smith School Stadium—after consecutive 1-9 campaigns in 2006 and 2007…the third base dugout was also the site of the infamous “Beer-gate” debacle after the May 18 double dip). Aggravation, injuries and all-around poor play marred this Father’s Day fiasco and left many in the organization scratching their heads. “We have team depth,” said a visibly frustrated Manager Matt Celio, “but there are some glaring deficiencies to that depth. For example, when I am forced to log significant innings in the outfield we are not nearly at our best defensively,” a thinly veiled reference to the commitment concerns faced by the team through the early portion of the season, most notable in yesterday’s losses (thirteen of nineteen roster invitees have missed at least one of the team’s ten games for what sources close to the club called “undisclosed reasons”). “I can’t apologize enough to Mike [Patenaude] and the rest of the fellas for my pathetic performance but there are even bigger issues than being a laggard who’s inept with the leather. It’s the mental mistakes that are truly killing us as a team and keeping us from reaching our full potential. Base running blunders such as guys not tagging up on deep fly balls and players getting picked off while in scoring position, poor plate discipline and the aforementioned inability to make the routine play puts inordinate amounts of pressure on us as a team, especially on a pitching staff that needs to be all but perfect at present, forcing us to play from behind on an almost weekly basis. It’s frustrating to be in this position again because these are by far the best players and people we’ve put out on the diamond. That being said, I have full faith in this ball club and I believe our best baseball is ahead of us…we just can’t wait that much longer to find what works.” Hard-luck Game One loser Tom Clark agreed: “I really want the Cannons to win games more than anything. There are things called mental errors that are the kings of all mistakes. If you want to win ball games you need to win more of the ‘small skirmishes.’ Sure, we were missing some guys but that means the rest of us have to step up and do all of the little things well. We need to work deep into pitch counts. We need to run the bases more effectively. Management has assembled a great team, one that desperately wants to win and I know we’ve got the guys to get it done but there is still work to be done before we can call ourselves the best. The side that wins more minor battles will eventually win the war. The season is suddenly short and the time to right the ship is NOW.” Assistant Manager Mike Weber, on the other hand, was a bit blunter in his assessment: “We’ve hit rock bottom. That’s the lowest I’ve ever felt after a pair of losses. I hate that f*****g team and we definitely should have taken the first game. I’m responsible for the loss (like Celio, Weber was involved in some misadventures in the outfield). Our play, mine in particular, was unacceptable. On the bright side, we’ve got nowhere to go but up. With our revamped roster we’re still finding our personality while other teams have already defined theirs. We’ve got a bunch of Gary Cooper’s on the Cannons: strong, silent types, good character guys. That’s a great thing when you win but sometimes, especially when things aren’t going great, you need a spark and that is difficult when almost everybody is cut from that same mold. Somebody has to light a fire under the team and that just hasn’t happened yet. We need it to happen soon.”

Clark, making his fourth start of the season in Cannons crimson, squared off against the A’s Dixon “The Line” Mason in a match-up of first round draft choices and Clark looked great in the early going, fanning two in the first frame. In the second the Cannons right-hander was hurt as Weber misplayed a line drive slicing to his right into a one-out double. Clark then allowed back-to-back singles to the seven and eight batters, the second a two-run base hit by Loni “WKRP” Anderson, staking the A’s to the early advantage. After a base on balls and a hit by pitch packed the sacks the Cannons pitcher bore down and got a come-backer that he played to the plate and a ground out to second to escape further damage. Connecticut immediately responded as Kevin “K-Dog” Quinn singled, stole second, advanced on a passed ball and scored on a nice piece of hitting as Weber poked a ground ball to the right side to cut the lead in half, 2-1. In the third Connecticut moved ahead with help from the bottom of the line-up as Celio singled leading off the inning (Jack Vanasse entered as a courtesy runner for the slow-footed skipper). Andy “Facts of Life” Borst beat out an infield single and Vanasse, never slowing, raced to third on the throw and eventually scored as the ball sailed over the head of third baseman Axl Rosza. Leo Dionicio plated Borst with a clutch two-out base knock as the Cannons climbed on top, 3-2. After an excellent play by Quinn on a grounder up the middle to start the fourth, Clark surrendered a one-out double to Marlborough Manager Paul Sciano but after a ball was hit back to the box it looked as if TC would emerge from the inning unscathed. However, a routine chopper to third baseman Drew McDowell was thrown up the line for an error that not only scored a run but allowed Buddy “Saved By The” Bell to scamper around the bases, reaching third without a throw. Giuseppe “Celebrity” Moleti helped Marlborough regain the lead as he stroked a RBI single to move the Athletics back ahead by a count of 4-3. The Cannons then became victims of bad base running and bad luck over the next few frames as Weber and Vanasse singled in the fourth but were stranded as Celio flew out to left on an awkward catch by Shannen “90210” Doherty, Borst led off the fifth with a double but was picked off of second after failing to advance on a Jason Maule fly out to the centerfield track—“You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the ‘Facts of Life’,” said Celio—and Quinn hit into an inning-ending phantom double play in the sixth as Moleti tagged Chris Barsa with his glove while the ball was in his bare hand. Clark (7 IP, 6 R, 4 ER, 10 H, 3 K, 2 BB, 1 HBP) allowed lone runners to reach in the fifth and sixth but was touched for two runs in the seventh on a double, single and sacrifice fly. Weber started the bottom of the seventh with a base hit and Celio followed with a one-out single but the Cannons were unable to push any runs across as Mason got Borst and Maule to ground out to end the opener, a 6-3 final in favor of the A’s.

As a light mist fell on the Yards, Patenaude took his familiar perch on the pitcher’s mound but the Athletics, always a tough match-up for the fifty-two year old lefty, immediately went to work scoring five first inning runs on a walk, three singles, a double and a pair of infield errors. The Cannons bounced back for one as Maule hit his second home run in as many weekends but Moleti poked a one-out jack in the top of the second to move the A’s out in front by a score of 6-1. In the third, Patenaude issued a lead-off base on balls and singles to five of the next six batters he faced before getting Red Baron to line to right where Celio took two steps in on a ball that subsequently sailed over his head to the wall for a bases-clearing “triple”—“I know the official scorers didn’t call that an error but they should have,” stated Celio sourly when asked about his screw-up—that stretched the Marlborough advantage to a terrible 12-1. Borst reached on a fielder’s choice in the fourth, stole second and scored on a Maule RBI knock to right but that wasn’t enough to prolong things for Patenaude (5 IP, 12 R, 8 ER, 13 H, 1 K, 3 BB) as the Cannons went quietly in the home half of the fifth and the team fell victim to the mercy rule in a 12-2 drubbing.

On Father’s Day the Marlborough A’s rhetorically asked, “Who’s your daddy?” and the Connecticut Cannons could do nothing more than turn attention to next Sunday’s games on the road against the 7-5 Bristol Continental Metallurgists (10:00 a.m., Calusine Coliseum at Bristol Central High School). If any positive can be taken from these games—and few can—it is the fact that the Cannons are no worse off in the standings than they were last week: they are still a sixth-place ball club with ten more games to play in the regular season. The second half, with match-ups against inter-league rival Bristol, four contests against the last-place Eastern Connecticut Cubs, the Winsted Rifles and Hartford Nationals, provides an opportunity for this team to prove its metal, showing opponents, fans and, most importantly, themselves what the 2008 Connecticut Cannons are truly made of. The Cannons are foundering currently but the foundry of post-season success is stoked as June closes in on July and a CNMSBL A Division Championship contender can still be forged if a team gets hot enough. It will undoubtedly be a trial by fire yet if Connecticut can stand the heat they can stay out of the basement and the ceiling on the season is unlimited. The potential is certainly present but with Father’s Day passing time is of the essence: it’s time to stop playing like boys and start playing like men. Growing pains are just that, a pain, but when they are done the result is a bigger, faster, stronger product. To paraphrase Rick Gassko (Tom Hanks) from Bachelor Party, “If the Connecticut Cannons really apply themselves, they could be a totally changed team by the time Sunday comes.” Let’s get the party started!

Cannons News and Notes: McGann, only available until 11:00 a.m., wondered aloud in the dugout why he was batting eighth: “I thought management would want to maximize my at-bats.”…Celio’s one-word response: “Minimize.”; with singles on Sunday, Celio (4 for 5) and Vanasse (1 for 2) joined all other Cannons with more than three at-bats in the hit column…Mancini (0 for 3) and Patenaude (0 for 1) are hitless in limited offensive action; Connecticut is hitting .285 as a team while getting on base at a .343 clip (the club has out-hit its opponents 85 to 76…conversely the Cannons only have 26 walks as compared to 65 for opposing ball clubs); despite improved defense, the Big Guns have allowed 26 unearned runs through ten games; the Cannons are 0-5 all-time against Bristol since making the move to the A Division in ’06; Bangs and Bruises: Celio aggravated his sprained his right knee on a swing in Game One…Clark suffered from the expected shoulder soreness after his 127-pitch performance…Mark Lynch may be able to return to the team on a limited basis as his ankle injury has stabilized…Steve Markie has experienced consistent shoulder fatigue after catching a game for the Cannons on May 18…McDowell pulled his right quadriceps muscle legging out a last inning ground ball (he is listed as day-to-day)…Weber suffered a severe leg injury and was forced to remove himself from the field in Game One; Player Points Update: Bill Balcerzak, Barsa, Borst, Clark, Dionicio, Maule, McDowell, McGann and Quinn have all earned their post-season eligibility using the league’s archaic formula; Celio ran into former Cannon Mike Calabrese late last week: Cal expressed his desire to return to the team after his trade to and subsequent release from Bristol; in other classic Cannons news: Craig Perrier celebrated his thirty-fifth birthday with a 7-2 Braves (4-3) win against the Boston Yankees going 1-3 with a triple…speaking in the third person, the French Phenom said, “Don’t throw Perrier a hanging curve ball because he’ll make it hurt.”…he saw no action in the field: “We have a dominant pitcher, kind of like Patenaude.”; according to WHCN fan McGann, The Police’s multi-platinum album Synchronicity was released twenty-five years ago this week; “Karma Chameleon” Dionicio feels that the team needs a mojo transfusion: “We need to go the Mardi Gras or something. It’s time to hang out with our w***s out and rock out with our c***s out.”…management is exploring this and other possibilities for the very near future.