WHAT A LONG, STRANGE TRIP IT’S BEEN
Cannons Split Season Series with Nats, Await Sunday’s Results for Playoff Pairings

West Hartford, CT (AP)—The traditional CNMSBL season opener falls on the final weekend of April as expectations in towns around the league are finally acted out on the field of play. In Newington the 2008 season began as soon as the Marlborough Athletics final run crossed the plate, knocking the Connecticut Cannons from championship contention on August 11, 2007 in walk-off fashion. Almost immediately members of management went to work to make sure that the ’08 Cannons would be more competitive, challenging for that elusive and much-sought-after A Division crown. Bringing back a core of capable players was the first step (thirteen of the Cannons ’07 roster invitees were locked up to long-term contracts heading into this season). Focusing on team-first free agents was the next step (Connecticut spent millions signing IF Bill Balcerzak, P/OF Tom Clark, P/IF Adam Pallone and P Jack Vanasse and brought back “Father of Cannons Baseball” Andy Borst in an incentive-laden deal as an insurance policy behind the plate). Finding a way to make all the pieces of the puzzle fit was the final step, one that proved to be more difficult in practice than on paper. Injuries played a part as unofficial team captain Tom Luby (back) missed the whole season and Mark Lynch (ankle/foot) played in only two games. “Commitment concerns,” a term coined by members of the media, then reared their ugly heads as Connecticut players averaged just 13.4 games apiece (not a single Cannon played in all twenty games on the season, an A Division first). Yet through it all the team was clearly improved, winning an A Division-best seven games (including four of its last seven) while not falling prey to the catastrophic and spirit-crushing losing streaks that have marred each of the past two campaigns (a five-game skid was the longest of the season and all but one of those games were winnable until the final out was recorded). August brings optimism and often incredible results for the Connecticut Cannons and the frenzied fan base known as Cannon Nation is counting on that being case again this season. Can a sixth- or seventh-seeded Cinderella slide on the glass slipper to secure its first championship since 2005? Leo Dionicio certainly thinks so: “Truth be told, we didn’t have the roster to win it all in 2007. One pitcher wasn’t going to be enough and though [Mike] Patenaude gave us everything he had, he couldn’t carry the load all by himself (the left-hander pitched back-to-back complete games on several Sundays down the stretch last season). With [Tom] Clark and Patenaude—each started eight games for the team in 2008—we now have two pitcher who can go out and shut down an opponent. The top-seeded teams are going to be overconfident against the Cannons in the early rounds. They think playing us will be easy and that is when the true anaconda is going to strike. I guarantee we are going to get to the top again this season. Championship or bust!”

After a half hour delay during which the Hartford Nationals field crew cleaned up after heavy downpours in the pre-dawn hours, game one saw the vastly improved Cannons offense (twenty-five runs in the last three wins) go to immediate work against hard-throwing right-hander Paul “Butterfly Effect” Ehrlich. Mike McGann, looking more comfortable with each passing game as the Cannons lead-off batter, belted a base hit to centerfield and was followed by back-to-back walks for Drew McDowell and Jason Maule. Tom Clark, Connecticut’s leading hitter, helped his own cause as he batted a ball back up the middle that shortstop Anthony “Night Breed” Cacavale could not come up with, scoring two and moving Maule into scoring position. The speedy centerfielder stole third and before the next pitch Clark took off for second. Ehrlich stepped off but threw wildly into the outfield pushing Maule across with the third run of the inning (Clark advanced to third on the miscue but was stranded ninety feet from the plate as Mike Weber struck out, Andy Borst lined to short and Chris “Wacky Iraqi” Barsa grounded out to a diving Jimmy Gonzalez at first: “Story of my season,” Barsa stated as he trotted off the diamond though his teammates seemed to recall different results in his at-bats. Weber responded, “The only part of the story that was the same was the ‘final chapter’ in which Barsa returns to the dugout without a hit.”). Clark was impressive in the early going, facing the minimum number of batters through the first two frames. In the third the Cannons were back at it offensively as McDowell walked with one out, got his now famous walking lead and took off for second (an overthrow allowed him to move to third). Maule hit a sacrifice fly to left field to score McDowell with the second out of the inning but the Cannons were not satisfied as the next three batters—Clark, Weber and Borst—took bases on balls and two scored as Barsa reached on an error at first (Borst would later come across as a pick-off throw sailed into the outfield). In the middle of the third the Cannons had a comfortable 7-0 advantage and it seemed the team would coast to victory. The Nats had other plans in mind and the bottom of the order eventually got to Clark in the home half of the third inning. T.R. “Texas Ranger” Walker led off with a hit and moved into scoring position on a grounder to the hole at first that Barsa played brilliantly into an out (as the grounder left the bat the fleet-footed first baseman was heard saying “Oh, s**t!” all the way in the third base dugout). Dakota Fanning was hit by a pitch and David DeJesus followed with a run-scoring single to put Hartford on the board (DeJesus was then picked off by the potent move of Clark, though the Nationals argued the Cannon pitcher had balked). Eleventh batter John “Issue Number One” McLaughlin had a base hit to score Fanning but Clark got Guy “Sweetest Music This Side of Heaven” Lombardo on a strike out to keep the cushion at five, 7-2. Connecticut was quiet until the sixth when they received another rally courtesy of one-out walks to Adam Pallone and Jack Vanasse and a two-out two-run double to the wall by “Bono” McGann. Lombardo responded with a solo home run to right off of Clark (7 IP, 6 H, 3 ER, 2 K, 2 BB, 1 HBP) but the pitcher was able to make the lead stand up, scattering two hits over the final one and two-thirds innings, earning his first victory in Cannon crimson since May 18 against this same Nationals ball club. Though the Cannons only got three hits against Ehrlich it was fifteen well-earned walks, clutch hits, solid defense and Clark’s pitching that carried the day for Connecticut. “I’m glad we could get a win for Tommy,” Manager Matt Celio said briefly between games. “He’s had a lot of hard fought games that haven’t gone his way since mid-May so it feels good for the team and the pitcher to get this victory.”

Game two saw the Cannons take another early advantage as Dionicio dropped a double down the left field line and Barsa scored the “Gringo From Santo Domingo” with a single and a 1-0 Cannons lead (Dionicio, after being inactive for almost a month, claimed the need to “find [his] mojo” al la Austin Powers though he contradicted himself somewhat, saying “I don’t need many at-bats because I’m The Natural of this team.” He later added that it wouldn’t take long to get back in game shape: “I am a Dominican. The last time I checked I don’t have any Anglo-Saxon DNA in me.” Celio’s retort, “If there are any white girls or guys for that matter on the [University of Hartford] campus for summer classes they better be careful. It won’t take much more than a wayward glance to get some Dominican DNA inside them.”). The Nationals battled back to tie the game in the home half of the second as Cacavale singled off of Patenaude and scored on Will Farrell’s two-out bloop base hit into no man’s land. Connecticut added a run in the third as Pallone led off with triple and was plated on a McGann ground out up the middle to give the Cannons a one-run advantage, 2-1. The Nats took their first lead of the afternoon in the fourth as Gonzalez singled to start the frame. Pinch runner Basilio Ortiz moved to second on a pick-off throw that bounced off of Barsa’s glove and scored on a double by Jose Rosado (who advanced to third on a fly out to center). Patenaude uncorked a wild pitch into the netting behind the plate to allow the go-ahead run to cross the plate before picking Cacavale off after a walk and getting Walker on a ground out to third to the end the inning with Hartford on top by one. After loading the bases—Pallone singled, McGann doubled and Maule was intentionally walked—the Cannons got more two-out magic as Clark promised to make the Nationals pay for pitching to him. The clean-up hitter slammed a first-pitch fastball to left field scoring Pallone easily. Celio waved McGann around in an attempt to reclaim the lead but a strong throw from DeJesus reached the plate in the instant before McGann to end the threat, leaving Connecticut and Hartford deadlocked at three going into the bottom of the fifth. After only three pitches induced a Farrell come-backer and a diving stab to his right by McGann at short, it looked as if the Cannons were going to get a chance to break the tie in the top of the sixth. Then DeJesus doubled to right on a three and two pitch that Dionicio lost in the high sky and McLaughlin followed with a dink-and-dunk base hit to score the go-ahead and eventual game-winning run. In the bottom of the sixth, Tony Letizo laid a perfect bunt down the third base line that was overthrown at first (Dionicio hustled to back up the play holding Letizo to first but in an effort to get the ball back in quickly the second baseman lost his grip and sailed his throw across the artificial turf infield, moving the runner up ninety feet). Lombardo followed with a sacrifice bunt that was played into a single and a balk moved fifth run of the day across against Patenaude (6 IP, 11 H, 7 R, 6 ER, 2 K, 1 BB, 1 HBP). A double by Ortiz scored Lombardo and after a stolen base the former Orioles farmhand scored on a sacrifice fly to center to push the Nats lead to four, 7-3. Pallone was hit by a pitch to start the seventh but Weber (pinch hitting for a physically exhausted Mancini, the Hartford firefighter who had come off a double shift to attend the games) popped out to center, McGann followed with a fly ball to left and after a McDowell single Maule grounded to his good friend Lombardo to end the game. Celio’s post-game press conference was peppered with positives as the playoffs approach: “Over the past few weekends we showed the world what kind of team we can be when we are at or near full strength: good pitching, solid defense and clutch hits will undoubtedly follow. Solid contributions from everybody out there today—a few “cheapies” got Hartford game two—and that is what has made us successful in the past and will be the key to our immediate future. It hasn’t shown quite as much as we would like in the wins column but we have been playing with a high level of consistency in the second half of the season and that confidence has been the trademark of Cannons Baseball, especially at this time of year. I’m excited about our prospects in the upcoming playoffs. I know I wouldn’t want to face us in an elimination game.”

August is just a few short days away and with it the Connecticut North Men’s Senior Baseball League postseason tournament (Saturday and Sunday, August 9 and 10 and Saturday and Sunday, August 16 and 17…if necessary). Have the Connecticut Cannons assembled the necessary firepower to compete for and ultimately capture the CNMSBL Championship in 2008? The citizens of Cannon Nation and the other CNMSBL enclaves wait, watch and wonder with bated breath. To paraphrase the Grateful Dead, the 2008 season has been a long, strange trip, one that ain't over yet. It has been said that the journey to one’s final destination is half the fun. It goes without saying that the other half of the fun is what one does when arriving at one’s final destination. The Cannons have worked hard and had fun along the way but now is the time for the lit fuse to finally ignite the gunpowder, as the team explodes against any and all A Division foes faced in the ’08 postseason. Connecticut has plenty of firepower. Limited tickets for the first and second games on what sports fans call CNMSBL Super Saturday are available at 1 800 CANNONS or on-line at ctcannons.blogspot.com. Ready! AIM! FIRE! Let the hunt for RED August begin once again.

Cannons News and Notes: Connecticut finished 5-7 in conference and 2-5 outside the division this season; the Cannons offense finished with a .295 team batting average, twenty-one points better than the previous A Division-best of .274 at the end of the ’07 season; forty extra base hits is an team record since making the move to the upper level; with a three for five performance on Sunday, Clark won the batting crown (.444) beating out Maule (.419)…Clark also led the team in hits (20), doubles (5), walks (11) and on-base percentage (.554); Maule was the Cannons’ leader in runs batted in (11), slugging percentage (.698), on-base + slugging percentage (1.198) and fewest strike outs (2 in forty-three at-bats) while tying for the team lead in triples (1 with Dionicio, McGann and Pallone) and homers (2 with Balcerzak); McDowell was tops for Connecticut with 52 at-bats and 13 runs scored; with four walks this season Borst (73) regained sole possession of this category as Connecticut’s lifetime leader (Celio is second with 71); McGann’s game one double was the three hundredth career extra base hit for the Cannons; original Cannons Weber (368), Celio (332) and Borst (299) have nine hundred ninety-nine at bats among them; in three seasons, Maule has averaged just one strike out every twenty-eight at-bats (5 in 140 ABs)…Connecticut’s centerfielder leads ten of thirteen offensive categories in A Division play (Clark qualified with the top batting average and on-base percentage while former Cannon Mike Calabrese had the fewest strike outs with just four); Clark led all Cannons pitchers in strike outs (25), batting average against (.240) and earned run average (3.28); Patenaude led the throwers in appearances (10), innings pitched (58.2), wins (4) and walks + hits per innings pitched (1.69); among qualifiers, Kevin Quinn surrendered the fewest hits (16), runs (23), earned runs (16), walks (21) and losses (2); Patenaude has eight of the team’s seventeen A Division victories; two hits in the season finale, Pallone raised his rookie season average to .226 meaning he will be able to participate in the postseason rather than leaving for his honeymoon; Celio, McGann and Weber attended Irish-Fest ’08 on Friday evening in Glastonbury, taking in a concert by U2 cover band The Unforgettable Fire—a large Irish flag was waved during “Sunday Bloody Sunday” leaving McGann wanting more: “I want these guys to play my wedding.” Will he be tying the knot with a girl or a guy?—and running into ’05 Fan of the Year and former McGann girlfriend Marybeth Smiley (Celio and Weber actually spoke to Smiley while McGann ran for the cover of his many male admirers, further fueling speculation on “McGann is gay” rumors that have been reported in many supermarket tabloids…McGann promises to contact Smiley if Celio can get her contact information…McGann’s black Guinness t-shirt and matching black shorts were repeatedly referred to as “Garanimals” by super agent John DeMorais…the lead-off hitter claims he will never wear the combination again); Borst went out into Sunday morning’s super-storm, claiming he often does so: “I feel the power of the storm and it’s how I want to go, returned to nature after being blown to a million bits. If that’s what God has in store for me and it’s the way I’m supposed to go then I don’t want to miss it.”; Dionicio detailed his affinity for The WB’s Emmy Award-winning Pinky and the Brain, going so far as to say he set his college schedule around the Steven Spielberg-produced cartoon about genetically-enhanced laboratory mice…the show’s famous tagline: Pinky-“Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?”; The Brain-“The same thing we try to do every night, Pinky—try to take over the world.”; Dionicio, discussing the flatness of Celio’s derrière on his otherwise round body said, “You’re losing it coach. You’ve got a white-girl’s a*s now.”; “Michael Scott” Barsa likes to take first dates to Chili’s…on one memorable occasion he ran into ESPN’s Peter Gammons, leaving the future ex-Mrs. Barsa behind with her Bottomless Tostada Chips; Lombardo was Maule’s college roommate and teammate at Central Connecticut State University; Hartford’s Gonzalez, a former Mets Minor Leaguer and neighbor of “Mr. August” Tom Bogiatzis, came close to signing with Connecticut prior to the 2005 campaign but opted for an A Division offer instead (the Cannons would go on to win the ’05 B Division Championship and would make the move to the upper level the following season); Bogiatzis recently contacted Cannons World Headquarters with his annual State of the Cannons call; former Cannon standout Kevin McGann was in attendance at the University of Hartford; ballots for the 2008 Cannons Awards were issued to voters on Sunday (11:59 p.m)… polls are currently open—three full ballots have already been cast—and will remain so until 11:59 p.m. on Friday, August 1.

WIN Y THE POO
Cannons Crap the Proverbial Bed Then Close Out Cubs Via Mercy Rule

Mansfield, CT (AP)—Winnie the Pooh is the fictional bear created by author A.A. Milne in 1926. During World War I, English troops were being transported from western Canada—Winnipeg, Manitoba in this instance—to the front in Europe. On his way to the Atlantic, Lieutenant Harry Colebourn bought a black bear from a hunter and named her after his hometown (“Winnipeg” or “Winnie” for short). The bear became mascot of Colebourn’s Brigade and made the trip to Britain with the unit. When the Brigade was eventually posted to the battlefields of France, Winnie was presented to the London Zoo where she became a popular draw, particularly with Milne’s son, Christopher Robin, who named his own stuffed bear Winnie in honor of the ursine attraction (Milne, inspired by his son’s collection of stuffed animals which included Eeyore, Piglet, Tigger, Kanga and Roo, wrote a series of books about the adventures of the bear, Christopher Robin and their friends in the 100-Acre-Wood). One of Milne’s more famous quotes is, “It’s so much more friendly with two,” and the Connecticut Cannons couldn’t agree more, though taking two this season has proven to be more of a “bother” than anyone would have expected entering 2008 (the team has only one Sunday sweep with a pair of wins against the cross town rival Capitals on June 8). In fact, at times it has seemed as if “a little black raincloud” has hovered over Cannon Nation keeping Connecticut from accomplishing all it has aspired to this campaign. The postseason is quickly approaching and the Cannons’ players and frenzied fan base have a title “rumbly in [their collective] tumbly” and an A Division championship is the only thing to satiate this hardball hunger. Sunday’s twin bill against the Cubs at the Eastern Connecticut State University Outdoor Athletic Complex defined the dichotomy that has been the ’08 Cannons: the much-mentioned commitment concerns forcing management into difficult game one decisions compounded with a slow offensive start (the “poo”) starkly contrasted with a near-complete roster competing at the highest level in all facets of the game in the team’s three-year A Division history (the “win”). “I think everybody—our fans, the Cubs, the CNMSBL as a whole and, most importantly, the Cannons—got a look at what we can be when we have enough pieces to play around with,” said Manager Matt Celio in his post-game press conference. “Mike [Patenaude] was brilliant in eleven innings on the mound today and our offense was dangerous from top to bottom in game two (even without Leo Dionicio, Steve Markie and Drew McDowell, all of whom are expected back for next weekend’s regular season finale at the University of Hartford against the Nationals). Multi-hit games from [Mike] McGann, [Bill] Balcerzak, [Jason] Maule, [Tom] Clark and [Andy] Borst and every starter contributing with at least one hit and one run (six of nine players also plated a runner) means there wasn’t an easy out in the line-up. This is what we can be and this is the output we anticipated when we put together the roster in the off-season. The regular season is important but it won’t matter much if we put everything together and play like the team we are capable of being over the next month or so. I know I wouldn’t want to play the Cannons in an elimination game if I was an opposing ball club.”

Scheduled game one starter Tom Clark, after a sleepless Saturday evening spent tossing and turning, cited “burn out” and a desire to take a Sunday to “regroup” before the playoffs in an e-mail issued to management at Cannons World Headquarters (there was also significant confusion since the CNMSBL website listed the games as canceled...Clark eventually arrived in the middle of the first contest and was used as an extra hitter in the seventh inning). Adam Pallone, the consummate Cannons teammate always willing to play where the team needs him most, answered the bell as he was called upon to eat up valuable innings as a bridge to Patenaude on this hot, humid day. Unfortunately Connecticut’s junior-most member did not have his best stuff (which the team was fortunate enough to witness in his only other start of the season against the Newington Capitals) and the Cubs were able to push five first inning runs across against the twenty-seven year old right-hander. Rouge Moulin led off with a walk and after a fly ball to Patenaude in right four straight Cubs reached safely against Pallone (1 IP, 3 H, 5 ER, 3 BB, 1 K) as Mike Kakalow singled, Bobby Meaker walked, Paul Verboven had an RBI base hit and Van Wilder dropped a run-scoring dinker between Patenaude and Weber in short right field. The young Maryland product got Scrubs Noheimer to ground out to McGann at third plating another run and then allowed the only hard hit of his outing, a two-run line drive down the left field line by Eddie Murphy, to give Kakalow and the Cubbies a comfortable five-run cushion. “It was hit or miss with Adam today,” stated catcher Kevin Quinn outside the visitor’s locker room. “He didn’t have his best stuff and his location was a bit off allowing the Cubs to sit back on fast balls. Those guys didn’t hit him particularly hard but they were able to do just enough to give themselves a lead and they never looked back.” Kak ran into little resistance from the Cannons offense as he scattered five hits over seven innings (two apiece from Celio and Quinn and one from Chris Barsa). The Cannons put runners in scoring position in the second, fourth, fifth and sixth but squandered opportunities at each turn to come away empty handed for the fourth time this season. Patenaude (5 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K) pitched near-perfect baseball in fifty-six pitches of economical relief but it was not nearly enough as the Cannons fizzled to the 5-0 defeat.

Game two saw Patenaude re-position himself on his familiar perch atop the mound and though less dominating as would be expected as his pitch count approached and then topped the century mark the senior-most Cannon battled as he “scattered” nine hits over five frames (six in the first two innings where he incredibly allowed just one run). Offense, defense and pitching were on full display in the second game for the Cannons as the Big Guns went to immediate work against Kakalow (another pitcher trying to perfect Patenaude’s multi-game art but only paling in comparison). Balcerzak, Maule and Clark, playing together for the first time in more than two months (May 18, not coincidentally in a win against the Nats at New Cannon Yards), singled in consecutive at-bats with Clark pushing Balcerzak across with the go-ahead run and the initial chink in Kak’s armor on the day. Patenaude surrendered his only run of the double dip in the home half of the first as Dane Cook singled and scored on Murphy’s two out hit to center (Maule came up throwing and nailed Meaker as he tried to make his way to third to put an end to the threat). The Cannons bounced back for a run in the second as Pallone doubled and scored what would turn out to be the game-winning run as McGann dropped an important two-out pop fly into right field after Borst had been picked off at first. Patenaude allowed three straight singles to Wilder, Noheimer and Royce Bentley to start the second but a strong throw from the outfield kept the sacks jacked instead of surrendering a score and the fifty-two year old left-hander went to work to keep the Cannons on top. After tantalizing Bill Lageman with two perfectly executed pitches the Eastern Assistant Manager grounded a nubber right in front of home that Quinn pounced on, dragging his toe across the dish and firing to first to complete the 2-U-3 double play. Moulin followed with a come-backer that Patenaude fielded and flipped to first for the final out of the frame and the Cannons would make quick work of Kakalow in his ninth and final inning on the mound. Maule singled sharply and stole second to put a runner in scoring position with nobody out. After Clark went down swinging, Quinn hit a hot shot to third that Meaker airmailed over Lageman at first scoring the speedy Maule and moving another Cannon safely into second. Mike “Teutonic Ideal” Weber singled to left as Quinn came around with the third run and after a Pallone strike out Borst beat out an infield hit to the hole between short and third to keep the inning alive. Barsa singled scoring Weber and McGann hit a two-run triple—the first of his Cannons career—to push the lead to 7-1. Patenaude allowed two runners to reach with two down in the third but Wilder’s ground out to Barsa at first ended the inning and Connecticut’s offense went right back to business against Eastern’s reliever Cook. Maule led off the fourth with his third straight single, Clark followed with a base hit and Quinn knocked in Maule for a seven-run advantage. Weber chipped in with a sacrifice fly to left that scored Clark and the Cannons could sense an A Division first within striking distance. Patenaude allowed a lead-off double to center in the bottom of the inning that Noheimer foolishly tried to stretch into a triple but he was unceremoniously cut down on another amazing laser from Maule ending any thoughts the Cubs might have about making a run. After two quick outs the top of the Cannons line-up once again got down to brass tacks as McGann and Balcerzak singled and Maule drove them home with a double to left just out of reach of a diving Bentley. 11-1 Cannons and Patenaude (5 IP, 1 ER, 9 H, 0 BB, 4 K) toyed with the top of the Cubs order in the fifth, striking out Moulin and Cook before getting Kakalow on a lazy pop fly to center to end the ball game giving Connecticut its first-ever mercy rule victory in A Division play. Assistant Manager Mike Weber was extremely pleased with his team’s game two performance: “I’ve had the pleasure of playing baseball with Mike Patenaude for eight seasons and in that time we’ve witnessed many great things from him from All-Star appearances to championship clinchers but I can say with certainty I’ve never seen the guy have as much fun as he had on the field today. It seemed like he was in total control regardless of the situation and when you combine that dominance with the defense we played behind him along with the offensive production you can see why we would be a scary match-up for any of the teams in our league in the upcoming playoffs. We finally have two top flight pitchers [Patenaude and Clark] plus proven players we can bring in from the bullpen. We’re not consistent enough yet for my liking and I don’t want to jinx us in any way but if we play the way we’re capable of there’s not a team we can’t beat out there on a postseason Saturday or Sunday.” Celio didn’t seem too worried about a Cannons Curse and he didn’t mince words in his live radio program (WPOP, ESPN Radio 1410 a.m.) from West Wings Bar and Grill—forty-two beers on draft and eighteen flavors of wings, several of which the Cannons sampled as they celebrated the victory—in Hartford: “I’ve guaranteed game two victories the past two Sundays and our guys have come through. Now I’m guaranteeing a Connecticut Cannons Championship in 2008. Post that on all of your bulletin boards CNMSBL A Division!”

Pooh-ya Cannon Nation! Some quotes from the terrific tome Pooh’s Little Instruction Book: “Before beginning a hunt, it is wise to ask someone what you are looking for before you begin looking for it.” “To the uneducated an A is just three sticks.” And finally, “Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.” The Connecticut Cannons are clearly in the title hunt, knowing full well what they are looking for and what is at stake at this time of the season. An “A” Division title is not simply three sticks placed together but something of much greater value to the citizenry of the highest “caliber” country. Though there’s little rush and undoubtedly the Cannons will get there some day, playing with a sense of urgency is not such a terrible thing. Is there anything wrong with winning a Championship right here and right now? Certainly not and the “bears of little brain” found out on Sunday exactly what they and the rest of the league are up against when the real Connecticut Cannons come to play. Professional prognosticators and parlor room pundits agree that the CNMSBL A Division is an open book at present. The Cannons are looking to add a chapter to their glorious history, the perfect bookend to the B Division Championship of 2005. Hopefully there is more “win” than “poo” in the team’s immediate future. Tickets for the July 27 match-up against the Nationals (incredibly listed at 5-5 at press time!) are available at 1 800 CANNONS or on-line at ctcannons.blogspot.net.

Cannons News and Notes: Patenaude lowered his ERA to 2.95 and evened his record at 4-4 on the year); Pallone’s ERA ballooned from 0.00 to 8.75 (he allowed just two unearned runs in his three-inning performance against Newington); Borst has played in seventeen of the team’s eighteen contests this season (missing only game two on Opening Weekend at Winsted), good for the team lead; Maule leads the team with eleven runs batted in and now has thirty-three total since joining the Cannons in 2006 (also tops on the club); Clark had the five-hundredth at-bat of the season for Connecticut…his fourth inning game two hit was the team’s 151st of the campaign, the most ever in A Division play (2006: 130; 2007: 150)…Clark will wed his long-time girlfriend in October and the two are expecting a child in early 2009…internet dating pioneer “William” Clark—a Lewis and Clark reference—claimed to be part of several Shallow Hal moments including a dangerous dildo debacle and the time when he told a partner, “If you lost one hundred pounds you could be hot”…he promises this wasn’t offensive to the young woman because he was “sincere”…Mancini responded saying “fat chicks can be fun”; “Favre” Mancini announced plans to retire—again!—if he goes 0 for ’08 (currently “Blue Fire” is in an 0 for 13 slump in limited action to start the season)…Mancini approached the plate sans helmet in the third inning of game one saying, “I need to shed the weight…I can’t afford the extra ounces”…Mancer lamented the low pressure saying repeatedly “That ball is outta here on a high pressure day” (former Marlin Joe Furey could not be reached for comment)…when asked if he would be going to California to fight wildfires, the Hartford fireman responded abruptly: “F**k that!”; Pallone’s double was the thirty-fourth extra base hit of the campaign, eclipsing the mark of thirty-three set last season (McGann added a triple and Maule a double to push the team total to thirty-six with two to play); McGann and Pallone, Chicago Cubs fans, said it would be “hard to root against the Cubbies”; Pallone became the fourteenth member of the Cannons to earn his playoff eligibility this season (Mancini [1] and Markie [2] can still make the playoff roster by participating in the team’s final regular season contests); after eighteen games the Cannons’ team batting average stands exactly at .300 (156 for 520); ten of the sixteen players with more than ten at-bats have at least ten hits (Balcerzak, Borst, Celio, Clark, Dionicio, Maule, McDowell, McGann, Quinn and Weber); McDowell and Quinn are tied for the team lead with forty-eight at-bats; the one hundred twenty strike outs are the most ever by a Cannons ball club; “Big Aristotle” Borst philosophized: “The Cannons are coming together, ‘cause if we’re not we’re coming apart”…think about it; McGann missed McDowell, saying he “likes Drew behind him” further fueling “McGann is gay” rumors (“Big Mac” or “Bono” as he is also known claims the facts that he has “no money and a green car” are the real reasons he is currently single); Weird Science: one hundred percent of McDowell’s 1989 Hall High School classmates agree that his mother, Becky, who attended last Sunday’s games against Winsted, is hot (McGann prefers his father, George); Connecticut tied a regular season A Division record by earning its sixth victory…the club can become the all-time wins leader by beating the Nats this Sunday; ballots for the 2008 Cannons Awards will be issued to players on Monday, July 28 (if the final mandatory rain date is not required…if necessary the ballots will be issued on Monday, August 4); the CNMSBL postseason is scheduled for August 9, 10, 16 and 17 (sites to be determined though the Newington fields have been used in past seasons and have been requested again in 2008); former Cannon Craig Perrier is 7 for his last 9 for the Boston Braves (.471 on 8 for 17 overall this season)…still bitter about his release, the former first baseman turned outfielder/pitcher thanks the Cannons for his “minor league experience” now that he has locked on with the “big city Braves” (8-5).

HEAVY ARTILLERY IN THE UNIVERSE OF BATTLE
Short-Handed Cannons Out-Caliber Rifles in Game Two, Gain Playoff Momentum

Newington, CT (AP)—“At what point shall we expect the approach of danger? By what means shall we fortify against it? Shall we expect some military giant to step the Ocean, and crush us at a blow? Never! All the armies combined, with all the treasure of the earth…could not by force take a drink [from our waters], or make a track [upon our land], in a trial of a thousand years…If destruction be our lot, we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As freemen, we must live through all time, or die by suicide.” These words were spoken by Abraham Lincoln as the states spiraled inexorably toward Civil War (what Louisiana native Drew McDowell’s favorite tome, James and Walter Kennedy’s The South Was Right!, refers to as the “War for Southern Independence”). Essentially Lincoln claimed the fate of the nation rested solely in the hands of her citizens: what God had joined together only they could put asunder. The citizenry of Cannon Nation enjoyed an off-season in which management assemble a veritable who’s who of talent to take the diamond in the Connecticut North Men’s Senior Baseball League’s A Division. Yet if destruction be this team’s lot the well-documented and oft-lamented commitment concerns could be to blame. Sunday saw the Connecticut Cannons sink to a season lowlight—beginning game one with just eight players, this from a ball club with a massive nineteen-man roster—only to resuscitate, rebound and rally for a game two victory against the second-place Winsted Rifles, a season highpoint and the defining on-field moment of 2008…for the time being. “We can field the league’s deepest, most versatile and overall best team when we have all of the puzzle pieces to play with but instead we’ve been putting things together piecemeal for most of the season,” intoned Manager Matt Celio in his post-game press conference. “Simply stated, I was embarrassed to begin a game with only eight players yet we’ve been fortunate enough to overcome adversity and win two of our last four with a smoke-and-mirrors line-up. When you have two of the league’s elite pitchers [righty Tom Clark and lefty Mike Patenaude] anything is possible. Those guys are more likely than not going to keep us in games and give us a chance to win. To battle back and come up with a win against a good Winsted ball club is something we can hang our hat on as we head toward August. I couldn’t be more proud of our effort when we easily could have folded up the tents. This was the truest testament to what we are trying to accomplish here in Newington. This was Cannons Baseball.”

The Cannons attempted to delay the inevitable 10:00 a.m. start as long as possible but eventually trotted out just a pair of outfielders behind Patenaude and the solid slugging top of the Rifles offense went to work, peppering fly balls and line drives all over the outfield on their way to three first-inning runs. Walter “Chekov” Koenig, William DeVanney and Danny DiVita led off with consecutive doubles and Billy Dee Williams followed with a RBI single to fire the Rifles to the fast start. That proved to be more than enough for DiVita who scattered five hits over seven innings, even after reinforcements arrived in the forms of Steve Markie, Adam Pallone and Kevin Quinn. Patenaude (7 IP, 12 H, 5 R, 4 ER, 6 K, 3 BB) allowed additional runs in the second and the sixth and although the patchwork Cannons defense played exceptionally well behind him it was the inability of the offense to come up with the big hit that ended up carrying the day for Winsted (Connecticut put runners in scoring position in the first, second, fourth, sixth and seventh innings only to come away empty at each turn). “Tough spot for the team in general,” Celio coolly and curtly stated between ball games. “We didn’t have the bodies to begin and we didn’t have the testicular fortitude to follow through after the opening frame. We needed to work together, rise to the occasion and make a stand and we simply didn’t get it done. A disappointing defeat but I am confident enough in the character of this ball club to guarantee a win in game two.”

Clark had the ball in his hands for the nightcap and, after allowing a single to second batter DeVanney, was able to keep the Rifles off the board in the first as he induced ground ball outs from DiVita and Williams. In the second the right-hander wasn’t as fortunate as walks and errors conspired to put the Cannons in a 2-0 hole. Paul “Digger” Graves led off with a single but was caught leaning toward second by Clark’s “A+” pick-off move (“good for one out a game” promised Chris Barsa earlier in the season). Don Armatino followed with a walk and Pat O’Brien reached on an error by Patenaude, playing third for the first time since a game versus Glastonbury back in the team’s inaugural A Division campaign in July of 2006. A passed ball moved the runners to second and third and Armatino eventually scored as Markie threw errantly into the outfield on a failed pick-off play. O’Brien crossed the plate after Howie Longhi’s well-placed ground out to Weber at second and the Rifles shot out to a 2-0 advantage. The Cannons immediately fired back as Weber led off with a double to the left field fence, Andy Borst was hit by pitcher Artie Lange and Pallone dropped a run-scoring double into right field. Jack Vanasse grounded to third—popping his hamstring in the process in what team physicians called a “McGann-esque” injury…he joins several of his teammates in “day-to-day” status with an out-of-whack wheel—and Patenaude followed with a whiff to end the threat with Connecticut trailing 2-1. Clark kept Winsted in check in the third and the Cannons tied the score in the home half as McDowell reached on an error and scored from first on Markie’s RBI two-bagger. Rifles Manager Graves doubled to lead off the fourth, moved to third on an error and scored the go-ahead run as the Cannons converted a double play, Quinn to Weber to McDowell (almost as memorable as Tinkers to Evers to Chance). Yet Connecticut again responded quickly as Weber doubled and Borst drove him home with a single to left-center field, knotting the score at 3 where the game would remain deadlocked until the fateful sixth frame. After recording two easy outs on pop-ups to Borst in left and “Remember the Alomar” Weber at second, the Rifles were able to touch the visibly tiring Clark (6 IP, 6 H, 6 R, 2 ER, 2 K, 3 BB) for a trio of tallies as Graves singled, Armatino got aboard on an error, O’Brien reached on a run-scoring fielder’s choice (all runners were safe as Clark and Quinn converged on the ball but could not get Armatino at second), Meister Burger worked a walk and Longhi drove in two—and what appeared to be the final nail in the Cannons coffin—with a seeing-eye single to push the Rifles in front by a score of 6-3 before Clark struck out his final batter Garrett Leifert to escape any additional damage. The Cannons, uncharacteristically cool in the face of calamity, immediately went to work against the hard-throwing Lange as Quinn singled and scored on Weber’s third consecutive double. Celio—physically the “heaviest” of the Cannons “artillery”—came up with a big two-out single down the left field line as Weber wheeled around the bases, cutting Winsted’s lead to just one as the game moved to the seventh. Controversy ensued as “K-Dog” Quinn took the mound to face the top of the Winsted line-up. The Rifles, in an effort to defuse a Cannons team burning close to the explosion point, protested against the pitcher’s sunglasses forcing the righty reliever to shelve his shades. Quinn (1 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 K, 0 BB) climbed the mound and proceeded to pop up each of the three batters he faced keeping things close for the top of the Cannons order. Mike McGann battled and eventually earned a base on balls and McDowell followed with a hard hit grounder to the drawn-in third baseman and Jeff Weber look-alike Dane Cook who attempted to cut down the lead runner at second instead pulling Graves off with a floating flip toward left field. Clark then hit a grounder up the middle that was gloved by Longhi at short but he bobbled and eventually botched the possible double play ball loading the bases for Quinn who ended the game with a single sweetly stroked to right scoring McGann and McDowell easily with the tying and winning runs (as Quinn headed back to the dugout he couldn’t resist a dig, saying “It must have been the glasses” leading to a war of words with 6’ 4” catcher DeVanney before the teams stiffly offered post-game congratulations). “Impressive victory, hard-fought and fairly won,” said Celio. “Although we booted the ball around a bit more than we would like, this was really the antithesis of everything bad about game one. We willed this one out and I think we will be able to use this as a springboard for the second season (the quickly approaching 2008 CNMSBL Playoffs). I know our eleven guys gutted things out today, gave everything they had and it was just extremely exciting to be a part of this comeback.” Guarantees are glorious things when they work out.

No score and eight years ago our founding fathers brought forth upon the CNMSBL a new team, conceived in search of championships, and dedicated to the proposition that no team would be its equal. Now we are engaged in the 2008 season, testing whether the latest incarnation of that team, can long endure into August. We meet each Sunday on a great field. The world will little note, nor long remember, what we say here, but it can never forget what they do on the diamond. It is for us the citizens of Cannon Nation, rather, to be dedicated to the unfinished work which those who play here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored few we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave their full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these players have not played in vain—that this team, under God, shall have an A Division Championship—and that a team of Cannons, by Cannons, and for Cannons, shall not perish from this earth. This is the Newington Address. It has been said that history is written by the victors. It is the sincere hope of the citizenry of Cannon Nation on these sultry summer days that the history of the ’08 CNMSBL campaign will be written by cerise-clad scholars and long-remembered throughout the Connecticut North Men’s Senior Baseball League and central Connecticut as a whole. The decision to oppose the Cannons will hopefully be one its rivals will regret but once...and that will be continuously. Next up for Connecticut is a visit to the far east and a double dip date with the Cubs at Eastern Connecticut State University (that of the unusual 9:00 a.m. first pitch). Tickets for the July 20 match-up against the seventh-place Baby Bears (4-8 at press time) are available at 1 800 CANNONS or on-line at ctcannons.blogspot.net (Standing Room Only seats remain for the twin bill and its plethora of post-season implications). Gear up for the stretch run and get your RED on!

Cannons News and Notes: Weber’s second double on Sunday was the twentieth of his illustrious CNMSBL career (his twenty-one total two-baggers ranks behind only Celio and Luby all-time and his six since joining the A Division are tied for second on the team’s career list with Leo Dionicio trailing just Jason Maule); since the start of the 2006 season McGann leads the team with nineteen A Division walks; Clark’s final run surrendered was the hundredth allowed by Cannons pitchers this season; incredibly, Quinn’s second A Division win in his career ties him for second place (Mike Calabrese) on the staff in A Division play (Patenaude’s seven victories are tops on the team); the team’s ’08 batting average of .287 is twenty-three points higher than the overall average from the ’06-’07 campaigns; every Cannon with ten or more at-bats on the season has at least one extra base hit; McDowell will miss this weekend’s match-up at Eastern bringing to a close his consecutive games streak to start his career at thirty-eight (Celio and Weber are the only two Cannons of the original nineteen roster invitees to attend each game…Celio has not missed a game since the 2002 season at Manchester); in the fifth inning of game one Patenaude pitched the hundredth inning of the ’08 season for Connecticut; Patenaude became the thirteenth member of the Cannons to earn his playoff eligibility this season (Mancini [3], Markie [2] and Pallone [2] can still make the playoff roster by participating in the team’s final four regular season contests); in the middle of game one Patenaude asked left fielder Borst if he could see the ball leaving the bat to which AB replied, “Yeah…I think so.”; Celio announced his intentions to “go under the knife” this off-season (a possible medial meniscus tear in his right knee has been diagnosed by team doctor and former Cannon Dan Krenk)…when he mentioned the ailment might require surgery in the clubhouse the “Teutonic Ideal” Weber replied with the rollicking, “For what? Liposuction?” (is that covered by insurance?); the Cannons finished their ten-game home schedule at 3-7 with wins against the Cubs, Nationals and Rifles (the team finished both the ’06 and ’07 season at 1-9 at home against A Division foes...only one win, the 9-8 victory over Hartford in mid-May, came at New Cannon Yards); Sacco Stadium at Alumni Field was the fourth and final home field for the Cannons in ’08 joining New Cannon Yards at the Clem Lemire Complex and Mill Pond Park in Newington and Smith School in Glastonbury; this was Connecticut’s first win against Winsted in A Division play (Bristol is the only team the Cannons have failed to defeat since moving up from the B Division after the '05 Championship); with a fifth win the team-best regular season mark of 6-14 since joining the A Division is still attainable; the team’s vision for a return to navy blue jerseys was on display as several Cannon Kids wore the prototype model, receiving rave reviews across the board; ballots for the 2008 Cannons Awards will be issued to players on Monday, July 28 (if the final mandatory rain date is not required…if necessary the ballots will be issued on Monday, August 4); the CNMSBL postseason is scheduled for August 9, 10, 16 and 17; former Cannon Craig Perrier is enjoying a solid season in the Boston Baseball League, going 3 for 3 with a run scored and a RBI in a loss on Sunday (he is batting .364 for the year); Celio’s wife, Audra, and her Lady Cannons won the politically incorrectly-named West Hartford Girls Softball League crown, going 4 for 5 in the title tilt (as is the case with the Red Sox following World Series wins, the Cannons have never failed to win a championship in the same season the Lady Cannons have taken the trophy).