‘08 AGAIN?
Near-Full Compliment of Cannons Not Enough as Guns Fail to Fire Against Nats

West Hartford, CT (AP)—Mulligan movies: Films in which a character is given the chance to go back in time in order to do things all over again, to see what life would have been like with as little as a simple change here or there. 17 Again, starring High School Musical’s Zac Efron as Mike O’Donnell, the latest in a long line of do-over pictures (see: Steven Spielberg’s Back to the Future trilogy, a post-Bosom Buddies Tom Hanks in Big, a pre-posterous Lindsay Lohan in Freaky Friday, the incomparable Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, the Jimmy Stewart holiday staple It’s a Wonderful Life, chick flicks, such as Never Been Kissed, Peggy Sue Got Married, 13 Going on 30, et al) was America’s number one box office draw in its first full week of wide release (April 17-April 23). What pulls people to these types of films is that they allow the protagonist to ponder life, the priorities placed upon it and, eventually, to spiritually transcend certain unpleasant situations through self-improvement (an escape from purgatory or a rebirth in Catholicism; selflessness or a reincarnation in Buddhism and Hinduism). Characters overcome personal shortcomings while looking inside themselves realizing that life’s true satisfaction comes from turning outward and concerning oneself with others rather than concentrating solely on one’s own wants and needs. The Connecticut Cannons had seventeen players available under a sultry springtime sun this weekend against the Hartford Nationals but it wasn’t enough and after two tough losses, 4-1 and 8-5, the team would most certainly welcome a mulligan—Carl Spackler: It’s a little harsh. Here cannonball it…cannonball it right back…and then one more time…he’s right on top of it. Cannonball! Cannonball coming, cannonball coming. Ty Webb: No! Carl, can I have a drop…just a drop for myself. That’s fine for me, that’s good.—as it stares up from near the cellar of the CNMSBL A Division standings (scores from the weekend have not all been reported). Is this 2008 all over again, when Newington’s true team amassed tremendous talent during the off-season, but still struggled to a 1-3 start (and worse)? Cannons Manager Matt Celio hopes not: “To be honest, I’ve been pretty pleased with our efforts as a whole to this point. Offensively we are ahead of the game and we have a number of players who are off to fast starts with the bats, something we’ve sorely lacked in past campaigns. We’ve used four pitchers on each of the first two weekends and we’ve had some success. I’d like for us to cut down on the errors [thirteen] and free passes [twenty-three], especially against hard hitting clubs like Hartford and Winsted, because we are making it easier on our opponents to push runs across while taxing our arms by forcing pitchers to waste bullets unnecessarily. It’s a long season and we certainly haven’t pushed the panic button just yet but you can’t get swept in too many of these series because it’s never too early to think playoffs and positioning is more important than ever with the addition of the Wild Card weekend [the league’s bottom four seeds will square off in early August to determine which two teams will move one step closer to capturing the coveted Clarke/Clinton Trophy]. We’re better than our record shows but it’s time to make the rest of the league aware of this fact. Bristol better bring their “A” game.”

Game One was a match-up of two of the league’s premier pitchers, Hartford’s Kevin “Inc.” Rival and Connecticut’s Mike “Old Man of the ‘C’” Patenaude. Righty versus lefty, youth versus experience, killer instinct versus craftiness, tattoos versus Tylenol. Star centerfielder Jason Maule gave the Nation reason to cheer as he led off the game with a deep double against Rival and moved to third on a Bill Balcerzak ground out to the right side. The burly righty then uncorked a fastball that bounced by John “Issue Number One” McLaughlin, allowing the fleet-footed Maule to cross the plate with the game’s first run. Unfortunately for the Cannons, this marked the only time they were able to score as Rival used his plus fastball peppered with off speed pitches to keep the Cannons big bats off balance, striking out at least one batter in every frame on his way to a fifteen punch out complete game performance. Patenaude was nearly as masterful in six innings of work, allowing two runs in each of the first two frames as errors came back to bite Connecticut as they did in the Opener in Week One. Rival ran into trouble in the fourth as the Cannons mounted their best threat, loading the bases with nobody out on a Tom Luby single, a Tom Clark walk, and a Juan Checo base hit, but Drew “Louisiana Fast” McDowell grounded sharply into a 1-2-3 double play and Kevin Quinn went down on strikes to ruin a potential rally. Patenaude (6 IP, 4 R, 2 ER, 5 H, 3 K, 1 BB, 1 HBP), wowed the Nats with his work, allowing just one hit over the final four frames but on this day the ageless wonder would simply have to tip his cap to his counterpart who also surrendered just five knocks. “We ran into a buzz saw today,” posited Patenaude. “The kid tossed a gem, threw hard, was right around the plate, and showed why he is a solid pick up for Hartford. That being said, we were right in the game and with a play here or a bounce there we could walk away with a win. The Nationals are a good team but the Cannons are every bit their equal and I hope we get another chance to prove this fact (the two teams are in opposite divisions, meaning a postseason scenario is the only option here).”

Game Two pitted Ricardo “Cosa Salvaje” Vaughñó against Jim “JY Jelly” Yanosy, and it was déjà vu all over again for Connecticut as Maule doubled and scored on a Luby single in the top of the first. Yet the lead was short-lived as Leo Dionicio overthrew first on a two-out ground ball to second and the miscue was followed by former Orioles farmhand Basilio Ortiz’s tater to center as Maule ran out of real estate and tumbled over the tornado fencing, putting the Nats on top, 2-1 after one. Yanosy (2+ IP, 8 R, 5 ER, 7 H, 1 K, 1 BB) was touched for another unearned tally in the second and five additional runs without recording an out in the third as walks, errors and homers led to an early exit. “Jimmy once again gave us everything he had,” said Assistant Manager Mike Weber in a post-game interview with members of the media. “He’s a solid pitcher who is always going to be around the plate. He’s thrown well in his two outings so far this season but he doesn’t have much to show for it [though the Cannons did win his other start on Opening Sunday). Bad luck as balls that are routine outs in almost any other ballpark dropped just out of reach of our outfielders for jacks. The team has liked what we’ve seen from Jim to this point—his mental toughness, ability to perform on baseball’s biggest stage, and versatility with the leather and the lumber—and we expect him to have a huge impact on our future plans both in 2009 and beyond.” Patenaude (1 IP, 0 R, 0 H, 1 K), it comes as no surprise, was able to enter for an inning of relief, getting a strike out and a double play to limit the damage. Connecticut responded with a run in the fourth on a Luby double, his first extra base hit since returning from back surgery that cost him the entire ’08 campaign, and a Clark RBI two-bagger. The reigning Cannons Patenaude Pitching Award winner took over from the legendary left-hander a pitched a scoreless fourth and the visiting team’s bats were back at it in the top of the fifth. McDowell walked (one of three times he reached on a free pass in Game Two) and Quinn got aboard via an error by third baseman Brian Austin Green. Rookie Rob DePalma worked a walk and his fellow first-year Yanosy collected his first hit as a Cannon, a two-run single stroked through the hole between short and third. Clark allowed runners to get into scoring position in the home half of the fifth but battled to get a pair of fly balls to center and left to end the inning. Connecticut added a single score in the sixth as Checo singled and courtesy runner Clark eventually scored on a passed ball to make the score 8-5. Clark (3 IP, 0 R, 2 H, 2 K, 2 BB) surrendered a two-out single in the bottom of the inning but induced a pop to right to give his team one more chance. DePalma hit a grounder to third and hustled down the line as the throw apparently pulled the first baseman from the bag. However, a bad call at first by Public Enemy No. 1 Umpire Jason Rentas preemptively ended a threat and Connecticut eventually went in order on their way to the sweep (“Who Shot?” J.R. has had several run-ins with the Cannons including several classic regular and postseason confrontations with former pitcher Mike Calabrese as well as the McDowell “ball to the back” incident).

Philosopher George Santayana famously wrote that “those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” A chance to do things all over again? Sure, the Connecticut Cannons would undoubtedly take Zoltar up on the offer right about now. Yet, the question “What could have been?” now turns to the far more important “What will be?” 2008 and disappointment or 2005—the team’s one championship to this point—and an eventual date with destiny? Toronto Blue Jays’ pitcher Roy Hallady once compared his team’s losing ways to the movie Groundhog Day: “That’s the hardest thing. We sit down [at the beginning of] spring training and we talk about the same things year in and year out and it’s almost like a little bit of Groundhog Day. That definitely gets frustrating because you want to talk about why we’re succeeding, what we’ve done to help us get to the point of where we’re at, and we just haven’t [played at a championship level to this point].” It happes at every level. The purpose of a baseball game is not to play as many innings as possible. The purpose of a symphony, too, is not to postpone the final note. And what of the purpose of life? It’s not about growing old; it’s about coming of age. The Connecticut Cannons are experiencing some growing pains as they “feel things out” in the words of Tom Clark and adapt to new teammates and a new season in general, but there clearly has been growth since the end of the ’08 season. Do overs might be little more than movie magic, but come Sunday the Cannons have the chance to not only improve, but to look inside and find that special something that was missing against the Nationals. So pack your bags for Punxsutawney, pick up a copy of Sparkle, fire up the DeLorean with 1.21 gigawatts of juice, and get ready for reincar-NATION: The Cannonball truly is coming!

Cannons News and Notes: Connecticut takes on Bristol this Sunday at Bristol Eastern High School…limited seating is available via phone (1 800-CANNONS) or internet (ctcannons.blogspot.com); 17 Again’s O’Donnell is a Class of ’89 grad, like former Hall Warriors and current Cannons Celio, Markie, McDowell, McGann, and Weber; Connecticut is averaging 4.0 runs in ’09 while allowing 7.5 runs per contest (the team’s earned run average is 4.26…of the 30 runs surrendered, 16 are unearned); Cannons batters are hitting .271 on the young season while its opponents are hitting just .234; Maule has doubled and scored in the first frame of the last three contests; Clark had the team’s one-hundredth at-bat on the ’09 season, when he led off the sixth inning of Game Two (the five-time Cannons Award winner flied out to center); Markie and Quinn were fitted with the Golden Sombrero on Sunday (three strike outs apiece against Game One star Rival)…Markie has submitted forms to the United States Patent and Trademark Office for his signature “Snap Throw”™ to first after right-handed batters go down via the strike out; Balcerzak broke the team’s first bat of the season: Opponents 2, Cannons 1; across the pond: Connecticut is in contact with representatives for Timmy Olmstead, a six-foot, 175 pound right-hander currently playing professional baseball in Belgium’s first division with the Merchtem Cats…“TKO” describes himself as “a versatile player with above average speed who is game ready tomorrow” (Olmstead expects to return stateside by the end of May, joining the Cannons for the heart of the ’09 campaign)…Olms enjoyed the team’s press release and said his staff will scan the necessary documents so he can pen the paperwork; Weber once again altered the secret formula for Cannonade prior to Week Two’s double header, opting for a combination of Checo Crimson, Leo Lemon-Lime, and 100% Olmstead Orange Juice; Connecticut’s new navy tops were worn for the first time on Sunday…Dionicio ordered two new blue jerseys in different sizes, one XL for game action on the diamond and one L to accentuate his physique for any action he may get off the diamond…the “Dominican Dreamboat” played the first inning of Game Two with a broken zipper, saying: “You Blanquitos are all jealous of what I’m packing in my pants. You don’t have the artifacts down there.”; perhaps proving this point, Patenaude wore the grays he purchased in Arizona: “This was the only size they had,” to which Celio replied, “What, youth large? I can count the number of hairs you have on you b***s.”…the lefty is, in fact, completely shaved; Mike McGann was pegged in the left triceps by Rival in the third inning of Game One: “Now I actually have a triceps,” stated the always affable McGann (Clark immediately referred to “Big Mac” as Rudi Stein, the notoriously weak hitter in The Bad News Bears whom Coach Morris Buttermaker wants to get on base by any means necessary, including the hit by pitch); Celio, Drew Clarke, and Weber each took another DNP; for the second straight Sunday, former Cannon Kevin McGann was spotted in the crowd; Hartford super fan Gunnery Sergeant Bud Weiser was also in attendance; the June 14 double header at Marlborough has been moved up to a 9:00 a.m. start due to a scheduling conflict; Winsted Rifles Manager Paul Graves is still looking for a few players to participate in an “All Star Game” on Friday, May 8 at Fuessenich (7:00 p.m.), a seven inning contest pitting A Division stars against an assembled 40+ team from the northwest corner of the state (Balcerzak and Celio have committed); the third annual Step Up to the Plate Charity Baseball Marathon is scheduled for the Friday and Saturday of Memorial Day weekend (Opening Ceremonies will be held at 6:00 p.m. at Glastonbury’s Riverfront Park on May 22); after a one year hiatus, Italian-Fest triumphantly returns on Friday, July 31 beginning at 6:30 p.m. at Cannons World Headquarters in West Hartford (mark your calendars).

4/26 Studs: Clark (3 IP, 0 R, 2 H, 2 K; 2 for 5, 2B, BB, RBI); Clarke (for delivering the new jerseys, what Chris Barsa calls, “The best uniforms in the CNMSBL.”); Luby (3 for 6, 2B, R, RBI); Patenaude (7 IP, 4 R, 2 ER, 5 H, 4 K); Yanosy (first hit as a Cannon, 2 RBI)

4/26 Duds: Connecticut Cannons defense (thirteen errors leading to sixteen unearned runs over two weekends); Markie and Quinn (for joining “the Klan”); Yanosy (3 home runs allowed, albeit over the short porch at Conard High…an as yet unseen Stud/Dud duo!)