INAUGURAL “BALL”
CNMSBL Managers Gather For First Time in ’09, Cannons’ Championship Campaign Commences

Avon, CT (AP)—On Tuesday, amidst furious flag waving, fervent patriotism and the expected pomp and circumstance, Barack Obama was sworn in as the forty-fourth President of the United States of America, ushering in a new era in American history and with it renewed hope. On Wednesday, members of 2009’s Connecticut North Men’s Senior Baseball League gathered once again at the Italian Club where it became immediately clear the chronicles of the CNMSBL also call for change when it was announced that the A Division will be home to ten teams as the Suffield Irish and Windsor Mets threw their proverbial hats into the ring. This expansion means most importantly that the regular season schedule has expanded from ten to thirteen weekends (an imbalanced twenty-six game schedule with no rain dates…eligibility will now be based on eleven games played along with an extension of the league’s archaic points system). The teams finishing with the six best winning percentages will earn a play-in bye (playoffs will begin for these squads on August 14-15) while seeds seven through ten will square off in a pair of wild card weekend (August 8-9) three-game series to determine which eight teams will compete for the highly coveted championship. “Exciting and expensive,” said Assistant Manager Mike Weber when he was asked about the possibility of growing pains. “The four months following the season are the longest for me. The return of these meetings means the new season can’t be that far off. It’s always nice to see other teams with the courage of their convictions. When you’ve climbed one small hill it is human nature to try a bigger mountain. The Cannons made the move after winning the title in 2005 and it only makes sense for some of the B’s best to do the same every few years. New and renewed rivalries, some fresh and familiar faces make for a great mix. All in all it should be a very interesting campaign. It certainly puts more focus on our regular season record. We can’t be satisfied with peaking in the month of August anymore. Every win gets us that much closer to the bye and with to new teams top six has to be one of our long-term goals. Three additional weekends with increased umpire fees means we will have make some difficult decisions in the front office, get creative, but an additional three dates in the wild card round would really force us to tighten the old belt (Head Umpire Mike Lombardo announced the creation of the Super East Umpire Board). That being said, all challenges are good challenges and we look forward to the season ahead.” Taking his cue from President Obama, Manager Matt Celio said succinctly to the other members of the A Division when asked about his ball club’s chances, “In 2009, the Connecticut Cannons’ spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you!”

In 2009, this loaded Connecticut Cannons team will have to do much of their early damage on the road. Connecticut will play six of its first seven Sundays away from the comfy confines of Cannons Yards with road trips to Hartford (4/26), Bristol (5/3), Glastonbury (5/17), Suffield (5/31), Windsor (6/7) and Marlborough (6/14) in quick succession after the home opener against the rival Winsted Rifles on April 19 (just eighty-six short days away). With the standard off-weekends for Mother’s and Memorial Days—May 22 and 23 will see several Cannons participating in the third annual Step Up to the Plate Charity Baseball Marathon—the town of Newington won’t see it’s heroes again until summer in the back end of a home-and-home with the hated Athletics (July 8 is the final free Sunday in honor of Independence Day). Five of the final six weekends of the regular season will be played before a packed house at the Yards, closing the season with three consecutive home dates as teams jockey for second place behind the Cannons (in a brief statement, A Division President and newly-named Glastonbury G-Men Manager Mike Clinton was quoted: “Making the schedule was a b***h.” Full details can be found in a separately attached document). “Anybody, anytime, anyplace…it’s fairly simple. We plan to go out there and play them one game at a time,” stated Celio as he emerged from World Headquarters early Thursday afternoon. “I’m pleased with the challenges ahead because I thought it would be good for this team to go on the road early where we’ve had great success over the past several seasons (the Cannons racked up six wins away from Cannon Yards in 2008). Our roster is different, better, than it was at any point last year so I’m confident we can take this show on the road and forge ourselves by fire so to speak, see how this edition of the Cannons respond to the new season and the heightened expectations for success from our fans and ourselves. The fuse is lit. It should be a bunch of fun.”

President Obama took oath earlier this week “amidst gathering clouds and raging storms.” But the challenges will be met. Like our nation, the Cannons have much hard work ahead and the ’09 season won’t be for the faint of heart. The old saying is that hope springs eternal and spring is just two short months away. To paraphrase our new President: In reaffirming the greatness of Connecticut Cannons Baseball, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted. Rather, it has been for the doers, some celebrated but more often men obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path toward prosperity and victory. Let is be said by the Cannons children’s children that when we were tested we refused to let the season end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God’s grace upon us, we carried forth that fantasy of countless championships and will make it a reality for this team and for future generations of Cannons. Amen and Hallelujah!

Winter Meeting News and Notes: Six of ten A Division teams were represented at Wednesday’s meeting (Hartford, Newington, Windsor and Winsted were missing); Fork Ball, 2009’s annual Cannons couples pre-season event, was announced on Monday as the team plans to party at Pazzo Café in Glastonbury (just miles from Riverfront Field, home of the third edition of the Step Up to the Plate event) on Saturday, February 21 beginning at 6:30...Bill Balcerzak, Chris Barsa, Celio, Mike McGann and Weber have already confirmed…Drew McDowell and wife Barbara have tentatively agreed to attend; Barsa is involved in continuous talks with Town of Newington officials about the team’s return to Cannon Yards in ’09 (most players would prefer a move to the Alumni Field facility where the team posted an impressive 4-1 record in ’08)…“T-Rex” contacted Celio today with the following: “[Despite turnover at the top], if I had to wager I would bet we’ll be fine getting Cannon Yards. I have the field forms ready to fill out and once I get the necessary paperwork from the league I will go to Town Hall and get a feel for what we are dealing with this year. It’s a political game we have to play. Worst case scenario, I b***h about the high taxes and big check I just cut [Newington] a few weeks ago and tell them getting a few dates a year for a field in a town I pay tons of money to Shouldn’t be a problem. Works all the time!”…“Zinedine Zidane,” who turns forty-one later this year, hopes McGann will hook him up with a co-worker in her early thirties: “Can never have to many hotties!”; Balcerzak plans to put his “low carb diet sans booze” on hold and has invited teammates to his Hartford home for not one but two upcoming sporting events (Saturday, January 31 for an Ultimate Fighting Championship® bout and Wednesday, February 11 for the Syracuse-UCONN Big East basketball battle on ESPN): the father of two explained, “I’m fed up with Elmo and need to re-claim my manhood!”…Celio, Tom Clark and McGann have expressed early interest; McGann’s relationship with Celio’s Sedgwick Middle School cohort Melissa Lotstein continues to heat up (though reports are unconfirmed as to whether or not the utility man has “sealed the deal”)…#s 2 and 9 attended a recent performance of the music teacher’s select group the Top of the Sixes at West Hartford’s Conard High School; Celio has been tapped to portray Coach Jack Bolton, father of basketball star Troy, in the Sedgwick production of Disney’s High School Musical…the show opens in late March and ends after a seven show run in early April…the Cannons Manager celebrated his thirty-eighth birthday on Inauguration Day (the team’s dynamic Dominican duo also turned a year older within the last month: Juan Checo reached thirty-five on New Year’s Eve while Leo Dionicio, according to one of many the birth certificates he has presented in past seasons, crept one year closer to forty when he hit thirty-nine on January 7)…Dionicio responded to the Cannons Christmas e-mail in Leo being Leo fashion: “Typical Caucasian! Always making jokes at the expense of the ESL (English as a Second Language) immigrant. No more quotes from me since from now on I will only speak Español. Now that my dear Obama has taken control of the nation, I’d like to hit at the top of the line-up…or else! I will take my highly priced prospects to Ruben [Serrano, coach of the Mets]. Prima donna who? Oh, and Web, I have Madden ’09 for Play Station 3 so let me know when you want to get fried again!”…Weber and Mark Lynch have birthdays in February; McDowell’s much-anticipated “sports complex” on the grounds of his Riverford estate should be operational and available for team use by mid-February: the Ragin’ Cajun stated, “We’ll be in business in three to four weeks. The cage is coming in and I’ll just need some help setting it up in the gym. Other than that, it’s time to ‘Play Ball!’”; Tom Luby announced himself fit to play in a January 15 communiqué: “Despite the recent passing of Vincent Ludwig (The Naked Gun’s Ricardo Montalbán), I feel good…na na na na na na naaah. So good, so good…dunt dunt dunt dunt (a little James Brown for [the team]). I took the month of December off from the gym to enjoy the holiday season but I am back to work in preparation for the 2009 campaign. I am looking to take some swings by the end of February—perhaps at McDowell’s complex?—to test it out for the first time since August, 2007. I don’t expect any problems.”; John Mancini and his representatives are involved in discussions with management that would bring the original Cannon back for his eighth CNMSBL season: “I continue to be inspired by [Manager Celio’s] focus, vision, leadership, passion, and attention to detail. I believe and agree that this is the Cannons year in “A” play. After an abrupt and disheartening ending in 2008, it appears the pieces are in place once again. Despite off-season distal bicep tendon reconstruction surgery at the end of October where an Achilles heel tendon was donated by a cadaver, my surgeon told me I am healing progressively, and that I am ahead of the curve regarding recovery. He is quite pleased on how well I tolerated the procedure and how my left arm has integrated the donor tendon. He expects full strength will return when the process has run the course [and] if correctly predicted my left arm will become stronger than ever. Only in America, could be I so fortunate to have this scenario. In reflection, I believe the chronic rupture played a major role in my lackluster 2008 season. I look forward to a warm, dry spring season and I hope to be a part of this championship run.”; in another injury update, Mark Lynch informed team officials, “Physical therapy has been going well and I'm almost back to 100% from [off-season ankle] surgery.”; the Cannons continue to pursue Hall High product, thirty-three year old Billy Gills to bolster the team’s increasingly potent pitching staff (Celio has once again termed the acquisition of pitching prospects Checo and Gills this off-season the “Arms Race” as the team addresses this most prominent position); Cannons management contacted forty-four year old Kevin McGann about his possible return in ’09…Celio had this to say about the three-time award winner: “Kevin brings so much to the table both on and off the diamond and it’s an honor to be a teammate of his. Great glove, good contact guy. He still has several good seasons in him and he can provide some veteran leadership for a team that has grown increasingly young since our move to the A Division. Plain and simple, he’s a guy we want and need on the team. Kev makes us better.”; Jason Maule’s paperwork and payment arrived yesterday, making him the first Cannon to complete this necessary pre-season business transaction (this is the fourth year in a row Maule has been the first player to submit his materials)…Mike Patenaude’s paperwork arrived two weeks ago sans payment…Weber kicked in double dues (for starters) but has yet to complete his waiver form; the end of an era approaches final days of Weber Manor are upon us…the Cannons’ Assistant Manager moves out of his Newington abode on January 30 (Weber—along with wife Debbie and their two children—will live with his in-laws until New Weber Manor in Berlin is complete at the end of April (so Web should certainly be available for both of Balcerzak’s get-togethers)…this team landmark was the site of several Jocktoberfests as well as numerous post-game gatherings…with the team just ninety-three strike outs away from the millennium mark, Weber made it clear to members of the media that he “just wants the opportunity to make history and have the 1000th K”; former Cannon Craig Perrier announced his Paleo-diet in which he eats only things available to cavemen; navy blue jersey samples were unavailable as league President and proprietor of Clarke Sports Drew Clarke came up empty (Celio will meet with the “Commander In Chief” before the next league meeting on Wednesday, February 18); the 2009 season marks the 20th Anniversary of the Connecticut North Men’s Senior Baseball League (the Cannons have been members for nine seasons).