OUR LONG “NATIONAL” NIGHTMARE CONTINUES
Nats Take Two from Guns; Patenaude Pitches a Pair but Skid Stretches to Seven

Newington, CT (AP)—“This is an hour of history that troubles our minds and hurts our hearts.” On August 9, 1974 Gerald Ford spoke these words to an anxious nation after being sworn in as President of the United States as the wounds of the Watergate scandal and Richard Nixon’s resulting resignation cut America to its very core. These words ring true today as an equally anxious Cannon Nation awaits the team’s next win and an end to the seven-game slide that has sent the Connecticut Cannons spiraling into the CNMSBL A Division cellar at the mid-way point of the 2007 campaign. “We’re in the same spot we were in a year ago,” said a surprisingly upbeat Manager Matt Celio after two tough losses, including the club’s second one-run setback in as many weekends, “and I was pretty pleased with how things ended up in ‘06. The expectations are a little different now that we have shown our ability to compete at this level—we won’t sneak up on anybody come August—and I know the team and our rabid fan base won’t be satisfied until we take that next step, bringing a title to town. That being said, slow starts are as much a part of summer for the Cannons as Italian-Fests, Porno Pool Parties and phenomenal post-season finishes. It’s always darkest before dawn. We’re not at DEFCON 1 just yet so don’t sell all of that team merchandise on eBay everybody. We’ve got some work ahead of us but we’ve got the makings for some magical moments as well. I guarantee you’ll be glad you stuck with a winner by the time Labor Day rolls around.” God helping, the Cannons will not let you down.

Game One saw the return of Cannons’ pitcher Mike Patenaude to his familiar perch atop the mound for the first time in nearly a month (May 20 mop-up work against Marlborough). The left-hander, looking a bit rusty from the lay-off, allowed a run in the first on an uncharacteristic pair of walks (just his fifth and sixth of the season), a single and a passed ball but the Cannons offense, more crock pot than convection oven to this point of the season, immediately warmed to the challenge tying things in the home half of the first on a Leo Dionicio single and stolen base followed by a two-out RBI base hit from Rookie of the Year candidate Drew McDowell. Sloppy play put Patenaude (7 IP, 10 R, 7 ER, 13 H, 3 K, 4 BB) in a tough position in the third as he induced a lead-off out but was then touched for seven runs, four of the two-out variety, on seven hits following a pair of potential double play balls—a tough hop grounder to second baseman Mike Weber and a catch and throw by centerfielder Jason Maule that got away from screened first baseman Chris Barsa—that would have at best prevented or at worst minimized the damage. Connecticut was able to capitalize on production from the bottom half of the line-up as Celio led off the third with a single followed by a Craig Perrier double that put runners in scoring position with no outs. Maule pushed Celio across with a ground out to the right side and Dionicio doubled Perrier home to make things 8-3 but the Cannons bats would cool considerably with just three more hits over the final four innings (singles by McDowell and Lynch and a double from Celio) and the team would not close the gap further against ace Todd Lynch (1.38 ERA through four games). Patenaude (0-2) allowed additional runs in the fourth and fifth to complete the scoring as the Nationals took the opener by a final score of 10-3. “That was the best seven-run loss I’ve seen in quite some time,” boasted Assistant Manager Weber between games. “Some guys are starting to heat up and it was just one faulty frame that did us in. We’re going to put up some big numbers in the next game. We’re starting to have some fun and we’re playing Cannons Baseball.”

Game Two found Patenaude on the hill again having thrown just one hundred seventeen pitches over the course of the first game. In the past the rubber-armed ace’s performances earned him acclaim as the Tom Glavine of the A Division but he now found comparisons being drawn between himself and Roy “Rubber Man” Munson of Kingpin fame. Unfortunately MP and the rest of the Cannons got “Munsoned” before all was said and done. Patenaude promised to “go as far as [he] could” with Tom Luby providing right-handed relief out of the bullpen. The staff stalwart allowed a pair of runs in the first on two hits and an error by second baseman Dionicio. When asked how the seemingly simple grounder had gotten through him teammates kidded the Dominican Dreamboat that he should have “put his third leg down” to which Dionicio replied, “No way. It’s Father’s Day so I actually get to use [El Dickie] today.” The Cannons, playing things light and loose with a ten-man roster, came back in the home half of the first to take a 3-2 lead on a double by Maule, a walk by Dionicio, a two-run double by McDowell and an RBI knock by Mike McGann but were unable to take full advantage of the opportunity at hand as “The Twins”—Dionicio’s affectionate nickname for the corpulent Cannons managers—both struck out to end the threat (Weber had his own take on the “twin” concept calling the two “Yin and Yang. I watched a perfect strike three come right down the pipe and Cel took a cut at an obvious ball four,” a knuckler from Hartford starter Basilio Ortiz). Patenaude put down the Nats in order in the second and the Cannons offense was off and running again. Perrier led off the inning with a walk, Maule singled and McDowell took ball four to load the bases. Luby followed with a two-run single—the one hundredth hit of his illustrious career—and McDowell later scored on an error to give the Cannons an early 6-2 lead. Patenaude, pitching his tenth frame, surrendered three runs in the third but the bottom third of Connecticut’s line-up provided some more much needed pop as Weber and McGann singled to lead things off and Celio hit a thunderous shot to deep left field that some in attendance say traveled an estimated four hundred feet—with his speed the Manager managed to just leg out a double. Weber scored easily but a perfect relay and a bang-bang play at the plate meant McGann was out and Celio was subsequently stranded at third with the Cannons up 7-5 (as the Nationals took the field, Manager Tony Santiago stopped by the bench and said to Celio that he was sure that blast has come off the bat of monster masher Maule…until, that was, he saw the tortoise-like trot of the base runner). Clinging to a tenuous two-run cushion, Connecticut squandered the lead as a pair of errors opened the floodgates and six runs crossed the plate to provide Hartford with an 11-7 lead against an otherwise tireless Patenaude (7 IP, 11 R, 6 ER, 9 H, 3 K, 3 BB). In the home half of the fifth the Cannons cut the deficit to one as Weber walked, Celio singled and Perrier and Maule roped back-to-back run-scoring doubles (Perrier’s two-bagger gave him the first run batted in of his young Cannons career). A poised and precise Patenaude (0-3) allowed just two base runners to reach in the last three innings—perhaps the strongest consecutive innings he threw on this day—but the Cannons offense faltered over the final two frames resulting in a particularly painful 11-10 loss to the Nationals (7-3).

The losing streak stands at seven and though it pales in comparison to the twelve-game slide during the ’06 campaign one begins to wonder what toll it might take on a team that entered this season with such elevated expectations. To paraphrase President Ford’s remarks as he took the oath of office back in ’74, the Connecticut Cannons have not sought the enormous responsibility at hand, but they will not shirk it. They cannot stand still or slip backwards. They must go forward now together. One thing became obvious to even the most casual observer of the Cannons this weekend: they are not ready to sell this season short by a long shot. Newington’s battle for bragging rights looms largely as the Cannons travel across town to take on the Capitals this Sunday at Sacco Stadium at Alumni Field (Newington High School). A series sweep against the hugely hated Caps could prove to be just the draught the team needs to wake up from the nightmare, making the dreams of all in Cannon Nation come true. Grandstand tickets are available via phone at 800-CANNONS or via the internet at ctcannons.blogspot.com.

Cannons News and Notes: Sunday’s “See Red” campaign—both teams and the umpiring crew wore red jerseys for the opener—raised Father’s Day awareness for Mother’s Against Drunk Driving…Cannons management refrained from serving post-game pilsners in the parking lot to show support of this cause…the Buds will be back on ice for the games at Newington this weekend; Patenaude became the first Connecticut pitcher to throw both ends of a double header since “Father of Cannons Baseball” Andy Borst accomplished the feat during the inaugural 2001 campaign; Luby became the third member of Connecticut’s Century Club joining Celio (113) and Weber (101) as the only Cannons with more than one hundred hits all-time; 9-10-1 hitters Celio, Perrier and Maule had two doubles each on Sunday…this was the first time the vaunted Clark Cougar combination of Celio and Perrier batted back-to-back since the historic 1993 season when they were crowned Division III Champions; with eighteen hits on Sunday the Cannons team average rose from .241 to .258…when factoring in ten walks the club’s on-base percentage jumped from .332 to .352; Dionicio, obsessed with the size of McDowell’s forearms, felt up the first year player openly expressing his love for “things that are big and thick”…when asked about the energy drink he consumed between games the “Latin Lothario” puzzled reporters by responding that it was “Barbaro Sperm,” claiming the donation was the last earthly act of the heroic horse moments before being euthanized; the Cannons swept the season series from the Nationals in 2006; in a shake-up rivaling the introduction of New Coke in 1986, Weber altered the secret formula that has made Cannonade a clubhouse staple since 2004; the games were played at Mill Pond Park instead of New Cannon Yards due to an in-town soccer scheduling conflict; Kevin Quinn is expected to make his Cannons debut against the Capitals; Ed Poland contacted Cannons World Headquarters on Monday afternoon and informed team officials that he is “back to square one” in the rehabilitation process with his injured left knee…Cannons management remains “guardedly pessimistic” that the hard-throwing right-hander will return to action in July for the stretch run; Mike Calabrese initially informed the team that he would be available for Sunday’s double dip but backed out because of a head injury suffered by his son…when asked about his unexpected absence an anonymous member of management expressed, “It’s just the latest example of Cal being Cal.”