CANNONS CONTEMPLATE MOVE FROM YARDS’ COMFY CONFINES
Site Selected; Negotiations Underway With Newington on New Cannon Yards

West Hartford, CT (AP)—For the better part of four seasons, the CNMSBL ball club from West Hartford has called cozy Cannon Yards home. Over the years, the field framed innumerable unforgettable faces and was the site of many magical moments—including but not limited to the 2005 regular season run that eventually culminated in the team’s triumphant taking of the title against the New Haven Cardinals—and this bandbox has beat as the heart of the baseball world for nearly half a decade. Reporters were shocked on Saturday to learn that team officials have been linked to talks with the Town of Newington—presently home to the Capitals of the A Division—about a move for the quickly-approaching 2007 season (Sunday, May 6 is the tentative home opener).

“Newington, like New York, is a big enough media market to support two teams,” said Manager Matt Celio when asked about whether relocation is reasonable during his first press conference of 2007. “We enjoy playing in West Hartford and have many connections with charitable organizations in town—heck, we even march in the Memorial Day Parade—but we also can’t afford to be short-sited in this particular instance. Management is certainly going to discuss this matter with the members of the team and further explore this option over the next few weeks. There are several on-field factors that favor a move—no fee in 2007 plus better drainage and in-season maintenance for example—but there may be additional on- and off-field benefits that could make New Cannon Yards at Legends Field even more appealing such as a playground for the ever-expanding number of kids in Cannon Nation as well as electrical outlets which means music before, during and after games (songs were a signature at Cannons home games during the 2001-2002 seasons at Central Connecticut State University’s Balf-Savin Stadium in New Britain). Although Cannons World Headquarters would still be located in West Hartford, one major area of concern is our name and the impact a change might have on the lucrative monies earned through local, national and international marketing campaigns (team merchandise is far and away the top-seller in the CNMSBL: along with Newington Cannons the team has considered West Hartford Cannons of Newington a la the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, Connecticut Cannons—the team’s original name in 2001—or Central Connecticut Cannons). West Hartford and Cannon Yards have been synonymous with Cannons Baseball since 2003 so it is important for the powers that be to explore the local and global ramifications a move might have. However, a move is increasingly intriguing to say the least and financially it might just make sense.”

Newington native Chris Barsa intoned: “Covered dugouts. 325’ down the lines and 375’ to straight-away center (the Cannons fielded the fastest outfield in league history last season with speedsters such as Jason Maule, Mike McGann, Ed Poland, Leo Dionicio and Andy Borst covering acres of real estate) along with the softest grass I’ve ever played on. It’s a great location in a great baseball town. I’m personally and professionally excited by the possibilities.” Assistant Manager Mike Weber, another Newingtonian, agreed: “We’re exploring all options for our team. We just want to make sure the Cannons play on the best possible field and that we provide a positive experience that leaves as lasting impression on visiting clubs. Perhaps most importantly, we are looking to improve the Cannons Baseball experience for fans and this new facility allows ample parking with easier access to the field. And it goes without saying that there’s just something special about a pre-game warm-up with music or about approaching the plate with that trademark tune that torques you up a notch. It will make playing at New Cannon Yards more than a game…it’s will be an event.”

In other team-related news: At precisely 10:03 a.m. on Saturday, January 13 amidst heavy media coverage the first wave of 2007 Cannons Informational Packets were sent out from the Lasalle Road Branch of the United States Postal Service in West Hartford. Last Monday, the nation celebrated the lasting legacy of the honorable Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Last Tuesday, Cannon Nation began to celebrate as the "letters of intent" arrived at the homes of the Cannons' roster invitees and some even started their return trip to Cannons World Headquarters. After much deliberation, management settled on "Kickin' "A" and Takin' Names: the Trophy Returns to Titletown" as the motto for the upcoming campaign, beating out "Cannons Baseball: the Most Fun You Can Have with Your Pants On" by the slimmest of margins. Fourteen weeks from today (Sunday, April 29) is the nationally televised scheduled season Opener on the road against defending league champ Bristol. Celio added: “Fox Sports knows this match-up—a re-match of last year's hard fought winner's bracket semi-final playoff game won 5-4 in the final frame by the Phoenix—will generate HUGE ratings and revenues. It's going to be great to take the next step and win the A Division Championship. No ‘I Have a Dream’ speech is necessary. This is the plain and simple reality of things and everyone clearly knows we’ve got the weapons to win it all. 2007 is going to be fun.”

Cannons News and Notes: McGann’s “Four at Four” played on The River 105.9 back on Monday, December 18 (the play list included Duran Duran’s “Save a Prayer,” Peter Gabriel’s “Don’t Give Up,” The Police’s “Canary In a Coalmine” and U2’s “I Will Follow”)...DJ Ed McMann stated after the set: "I don't know how Mike is as a ball player but he just hit a home run with his song selections!"; McGann’s Hall Warrior Freshman Basketball team crushed Mike Calabrese’s Conard Chieftains on Saturday in West Hartford…Cal, a twelve-year veteran of the coaching profession and the self-proclaimed “grizzly [sic] veteran,” was more upset with the way first-year coach McGann “sassed and smirked at him” from the Hall High bench than with his team’s performance…Cal waxed nostalgic, claiming, “I used to kick his a** all over the court. If only I could get out there on the court…if only I could.”; for the second straight year, Maule became the first Cannon to return his player waiver and payment when it arrived at Cannons World Headquarters early Saturday afternoon; John Giudice is the only player in question on the current ’07 roster…he recently underwent arthroscopic knee surgery to clean out some frayed ligament fragments; Celio celebrated his thirty-sixth birthday yesterday in a quiet celebration with his family; Calabrese turns thirty-eight on January 29 (Mark Lynch and Weber have birthdays coming in February); after listening to ceaseless Cannons conversations between members of management this weekend and watching four consecutive episodes of the Lifetime smash hit Gay, Straight or Taken?, Audra Celio was overheard saying that if her husband and Weber were “contestants” on the show they would definitely be handpicked as homosexuals (not that there is anything wrong with that!).