GOLIATH DOWNS DAVID
Fish Fry Cannons; CNMSBL Playoff Pairings Close to Complete

Glastonbury, CT (AP)—The Old Testament battle between David and Goliath (First Book of Samuel 17: 1-58) is one of the best-known, most-loved and oft-told “tales” in The Bible. For forty days the mighty Goliath challenged the opposing Israelites for a foolhardy foe to fight him. David, who was not even old enough to serve in the army, convinced King Saul that he could single-handedly defeat the Philistine. After turning down an offer of the king's own armor, which was too big for him, David went down to the creek, selected five suitable stones and the rest of the story is legend. He killed Goliath with a single perfectly-accurate shot and upon seeing their hero defeated, the heavily-favored Philistine army made a disorderly retreat giving the Israelites, then in hot pursuit, a much-needed victory. Davey and Goliath, the stop-motion animation children’s program that aired from 1960-1975, was a show about a boy and his dog—his canine “conscience”—and in each episode the boy, Davey, experienced some form of moral conflict that required resolution. Drawing upon the guidance of others and his own beliefs, Davey came away from each experience having learned a valuable moral and life lesson. Unfortunately West Hartford’s foray against first-place Glastonbury (15-3) did not result in the so-called storybook ending. The Philistinesque fish in the form of the Monaco Ford Marlins caught the Cannons (1-13) by scores of 15-4 and 11-7 at Dolph Finn Stadium on Sunday. Although the David versus Goliath theme that is so prevalent in athletic events—"Do you believe in miracles? Yes!"—and films (Hoosiers, Rocky, et al.) did little to change the Cannons fortunes in the win-loss column, on this day Davey did learn a valuable lesson after all: baseball is about having fun and for the first time since the May 7 victory over Newington the ball club from West Hartford appeared to enjoy themselves out on the diamond. The Cannons are way past the point of moral victories having lost twelve straight games but victories in morale are another story entirely and can go a long way toward presaging a team’s postseason perspective. Winning the CNMSBL A Division Championship as the tournament’s seventh seed would be an effort of biblical proportions but like David the Cannons believe and that, Cannon Nation, is the first step.
The Cannons cast the first stone in their initial at-bat as Mike Weber singled home Tom Luby, who also had a base hit, but failed to do any further damage as Matt Celio fouled out to first to end a bases loaded rally. Mike Patenaude returned from a one-week layoff and took his customary perch on the pitcher’s mound in Game One. Monaco Ford’s high octane offense inflicted some early damage against the left-hander, scoring three runs on an error and three singles but West Hartford bounced back in the top of the second. Patenaude, Andy Borst and Kevin McGann all singled consecutively to start the frame—McGann’s hit plated Patenaude—and Leo Dionicio came through with a two-out two-run double to put the Cannons back on top, 4-3. The Marlins managed to put five additional runs on the board in the home half of the second and the Cannons cooled considerably at the plate (Celio reached on an infield hit in the third representing the team’s lone base runner the rest of the way) while the defense uncharacteristically failed Patenaude (5 IP, 13 R) as Glastonbury got five in the fourth and ended things on a two-run blast to left in the home half of the fifth for a 15-4 victory. An exhausted Patenaude (0-5) explained after the games, “I didn’t have my best stuff today but our bats are starting to come around and if we can eliminate some of the errors we should have an unforgettable August.”

It was during Game Two when the Cannons found that youthful relish that has been noticeably absent over recent weeks. The players had a quick closed-door meeting between contests and decided to shake things up, placing players at new positions while at the same time shuffling the batting order and the results were encouraging to say the least (Ed Poland was even overheard exhorting the team with the chorus from the Bobby McFerrin hit “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”). Luby took the mound in Game Two and miffed the Marlins early on with a constant diet of fast balls, allowing only a single run to score in the bottom of the first (along with Luby’s first A Division pitching performance, the Cannons started Weber behind the plate, Mike McGann at first following a hamstring injury, Poland at second, Dionicio at shortstop, Patenaude at third, Celio in left, Borst in center and K. McGann in right after he took a hard chop off of the chin in the Opener). West Hartford got things going offensively in the top of the third on three straight singles from Weber, Celio and K. McGann and all three scored on a line drive double by Poland to put the team on top, 3-1, but the Marlins mounted a comeback in the home half of the third, scoring three against Luby to reclaim a one-run advantage. In the fifth, Celio led off with a single, K. McGann followed with a base hit (both players had four hits on the day) and Poland came up big again in a two-out situation with a three-run blast into the left field bleachers for his second home run of the season, sixth RBI of game and a 6-4 Cannons lead. Monaco managed another run in the fifth but West Hartford immediately answered back with a Weber base hit (one of three hits on the day for the Cannons’ Assistant Manager) and a two-down double from Celio to the left field fence that scored pinch runner Borst, making the score 7-5. According to Reese Bobby, Ricky Bobby's father from Talladega Nights fame, “It’s the fastest who gets laid and the fastest who gets paid,” prompting the slow-footed Celio to say, “So, that explains why I’m so broke and why I'm not getting any.” With a two-run lead and a tiring Luby (5+ IP, 11 R) the Fish found their stroke and scored six runs off of the right-hander and relief pitcher Poland (1 IP) for an 11-7 final but the team was encouraged in post-game press conferences. “Everybody gave one-hundred percent today and we had a lot of fun in that second game,” Luby (0-1) stated. When asked about the team’s chances as the calendar approaches August “the Heart of the Cannons” had this to say: “We’re in all of the ball games. All we need is a couple of big hits here and there, a couple of clutch pitching performances and we’re just as good as anybody. I think we’re going to be a tough out in the playoffs.” Weber echoed these sentiments: “This is what we were looking for. The final scores, especially in the second game, aren’t really representative of all the positives we can take away from today. We were just like kids out there and that is what this game is all about. We’re starting to hit the ball and more importantly everybody has smiles on their faces. Everyone is thinking positively at this point. Even though we were short-handed again our core guys were successful. We had fun and our confidence is climbing. That’s what brings victories at this time of year.” The “Latin Lothario” Dionicio added, “We are going to be super-dangerous in the playoffs. Other teams are going to be overconfident against us, the real anaconda is going to come out of the Amazon River and we are going to kill people. I love this game!”

So Sunday saw yet another late-inning opportunity for victory slip away from the Davids of the A Division. But the Cannons still have a few stones left to sling and it is expected that moral victories will soon turn to more victories. At the moment—there are still two Sundays left in the regular-season—it looks likely West Hartford will open the double-elimination tournament against the second-seeded Manchester Cubs (12-4) who are coming off a sweep of Bristol (if the playoffs started today the match-ups would be as follows: Glastonbury Marlins: Bye; West Hartford Cannons v. Manchester Cubs; Hartford Nationals v. Marlborough Athletics; Newington Capitals v. Bristol Phoenix). The final playoff push begins this Sunday at Cannon Yards against the Marlborough A’s (10-6)—or as Dionicio describes them, “the Marlborough A-holes.” No one expected this team to be 1-13 entering August but Manager Celio maintained the confidence that seems to be coursing through the veins of all Cannons: “We’re the most dangerous 1-13 team ever assembled. We’re a difficult draw for any of the teams in this league. This weekend built some character and gave us a little of that Cannons swagger back. I know we are up to the challenge.” As in the book of Revelations, when the second seal was opened a red horse appeared and its rider held a great and mighty sword. Now is the time for the red-shirted Cannons to wage war against the rest of the CNMSBL. Single-seat tickets and standing room only seats are available at the Cannon Yards box office, by phone (1 800-CANNONS) or by e-mail (whcannons.blogspot.com).

Cannons News and Notes: With three hits on the day Weber reached ninety-five for his career (Luby is at eighty-eight); for the first time in over forty years of playing baseball, Patenaude played third base (Dionicio was so impressed with Patenaude’s play that he repeatedly serenaded the team with his rendition of “Losing My Position,” a take-off on the 1991 R.E.M. classic “Losing My Religion”); Poland’s six runs batted in gave him eight for the season, moving him ahead of Jason Maule (7) for the team lead; Borst, after taking batting instruction from Dionicio and Poland during recent weeks, stated that he will “never strike out again;” Dionico, K. McGann and Poland all topped the ten-hit total for the 2006 campaign on Sunday; the team batting average improved from .234 to .246—the team was 17 for 53 (.321) against the Marlins—while the slugging and on-base percentages topped the .300 mark (.301 and .319 respectively); the eleven runs scored were the most in a double header since West Hartford joined the A Division (the seven runs in a single game ties the team high in the Week One win against Newington); in retaliation for the fact that Connecticut is in the throes of a heat wave, Luby beaned weatherman and local radio/television personality Joe Furey; Dionicio plans to bring a southern European exotic dancer to this Friday’s Italian-Fest 2006 at Cannons World Headquarters…the “Caribbean Cut-Up” claims she will also “bring her two good friends, her left and right breasts;” pitcher Troy Barber is considering shutting down for the remainder of the 2006 season so he can undergo surgery on his right arm; Celio and Patenaude earned their playoff eligibility, joining teammates Chris Barsa, Borst, Dionicio, Luby, Maule, K. McGann, M. McGann, Poland and Weber (the team hopes to get Mike Calabrese and Steve Markie eligible against Marlborough this weekend).